Marijana Jokes List

Some stoned dude walks into a shop. He goes up to the man behind the counter and says "got any weed?" He says "no!" So the stoner leaves. The stoner comes back and asks the guy behind the counter "Hey you got any weed?" The man says "No I told you yesterday, we don't sell weed here." So the Stoner leaves again. The stoner walks in the next day and says "Got any weed?" The clerk behind the counter says, "Look you fuckin burnout we don't sell weed here, if you come in here again, I'm goin to nail your fuckin head to the floor!!!" So the stoner leaves. He comes in the next day. "You got any nails?" "No", the clerk replies. The stoner looks at him in the eyes and says, "You got any weed?"


:hippy:

There's a stoner and a super genius sitting on a bench waiting on a bus.
The genius gets bored, leans over to the stoner and says,

"Hey I'll tell you what, I'll ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you have to give me five bucks. If you ask me a question and I don't know the answer I have to give you fifty bucks."

The stoner says, "Alright, Man." The genius asks the stoner, "What is the Pythgaorian Theory?" The stoner replies, "I don't know," and hands the genius five bucks.

"Okay," the stoner says, "What has three legs going up a hill and four legs going down?" The genius thinks real hard and finally gives up. he hands the stoner fifty bucks and then asks, "So, what is the answer?"



The stoner says, "I don't know," and hands the genius five bucks. :D




:hippy:

madd props on this thread ari!!!

lmao im dieing here in this thread. good shit.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by smoke it

Q. How do you stop an army of stoners on horseback?

A. Turn off the carousel.

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aahahhahahahaha... you made me almost fall out of my chair laughing... i could soooo see a bunch of stoner kids having a blast on a carousel at some lousy carnival

The stoner went to a bar. He hasn't had any nookie in awhile. He saw this hot looking chick leaning on the juke-box in a dark corner and decided to talk to her. Hey baby I know this is a little forward but I dont get out much so I'm willing to take a chance. Why dont me and you go to your place and get stoned, maybe cuddle and make a little whoopie.

She looked up at the stoner and said - I cant right now, im on my menstrual cycle.

"The stoner scratched his head and thought for a second - it's ok I'll follow you, I'm on my honda.

here is mine, i dont remember the exact words so ill try to make it good

so a stoner, an alcoholic and a pimp get into a car accident and die.
They go to hell and devil tells them
D-Youll be locked in a room of your choice for 100 years
D- First will be the alcoholic, what room would you like?
A- I want a room filled with every booze you can find all over the world
D-You got it
D- Next will be the pimp
P- Id like a room with all the hookers in it so i could fuck them.
D- You got it.
D- Next is the stoner
S- I'd like a room filled with all the strains of marijuana.
D- You got it, (Devil locks all the rooms for 100 years)
100 years later
Devil checks the alcoholic's room, he sees him lying in his own vomit and barely awake
Then he checks the pimp's room, he is covered in his own cum and everyone are unconscious
Then he opens a stoner's room, he sees him sitting there, none of the marijuana was touched, a stoner is just sitting there, with tears in his eyes, he looks up while holding a joint
S- Hey man, got a light?

damn snake i literally shit my pants wit that joke damn that is funny as fuck

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Snake2389

here is mine, i dont remember the exact words so ill try to make it good

so a stoner, an alcoholic and a pimp get into a car accident and die.
They go to hell and devil tells them
D-Youll be locked in a room of your choice for 100 years
D- First will be the alcoholic, what room would you like?
A- I want a room filled with every booze you can find all over the world
D-You got it
D- Next will be the pimp
P- Id like a room with all the hookers in it so i could fuck them.
D- You got it.
D- Next is the stoner
S- I'd like a room filled with all the strains of marijuana.
D- You got it, (Devil locks all the rooms for 100 years)
100 years later
Devil checks the alcoholic's room, he sees him lying in his own vomit and barely awake
Then he checks the pimp's room, he is covered in his own cum and everyone are unconscious
Then he opens a stoner's room, he sees him sitting there, none of the marijuana was touched, a stoner is just sitting there, with tears in his eyes, he looks up while holding a joint
S- Hey man, got a light?

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lmao added rep for that one. hahaha

ok..heres one duno if you could call it a cannabis joke but here it goes...

3 men are sent to hell
one for being a drunk all his life
one for using women
and one for smoking pot..

the devil puts the drunk in a room full of all the alcohol you could ever imagine and locks the door..

he then turns to the woman user and trows him in a room full of the hottest naked women nyphos and locks the door

he turns to the pot head nd trows him in a room full with the dankest pot ever feild loads of it..

he leaves them in the rooms for 1000 years and finaly goes to let them out ..

he opens the first door where the drunk falls out clenching an empty bottle and proclaims hell never touch another drop the devil decides this is good enough and gives him another go at life...

the second door when opened the woman user runs out proclaiming ''im gay''

when he opens the third door the pot head is just sitting with his back against the door a tear comes down his eye when he looks at the devil he asks him ''buddy ya got a light?''

heh long joke..
shit was already said :( bummer..