How do you get 50 jews in a mini............throw a quarter on the back seat.
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How do you get 50 jews in a mini............throw a quarter on the back seat.
How does a blind parachutist know when he is gettin near the ground?......................................When his dog leash goes slack.
A couple of years ago I went out with some friends and told my wife I'd be home by 12 or so. Well, as usual my budsand I got shitfaced and they talked me into going to the strip club. I knew I would be in real trouble when I got home (4am), so I thought I would try to improve my situation. When I got home there was someone sleeping on my couch with the tv on. Figuring my wife fell asleep waiting to yell at me, I thought I'd try to have a little fun. I lifted the covers by her feet and proceeded to strip her and gave here a little oral pleasure. She never really woke up so I figured maybe she had something to drink and actually passed out. Anyway, she kinda gave me a little moan or two and I decided to give up. I went to the bathroom to wash up and had the shit scared out of me by my wife (sitting on the toilet.) I yelled and she jumped up and said shhh... You'll wake your mother......
lol :(Quote:
Originally Posted by larken75
What do u get when u cross a jehova witness with a hells angel..?........... someone that knocks on your door and tells u to fuck off!
well the rabbit is in the middle of the forest. He places his balls one a large rock, and with another hits em together while shouting "yah baby, im so horny". So the lion passes by and watches the whole thing. "What the fuck??!?! Rabbit get horny by smashin his balls, and I cant do it? Me? King of the forest?!?!??!?!??". So he pushes the Rabbit away, take his giant balls, place them over the rock, takes the other rock and hits em" AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHGHTHHdlj;lkjhDGHM!!!@@!@!#!" his balls now were a blood/flesh mass. "YOU FUCKIN PERVERD RABBIT, HOW DO U GET HORNY WHEN UR SMASHIN UR BALLZ????". "I get horny when i miss them" sais Rabbit.
MORE MORE MORE PLZ I NEED A LAUGH PLZ.
lol i've herad that 100 times but it's funny as fuck still.Quote:
Originally Posted by rottenPauL
SO theres this new movie coming out this summer, its an action/adventure movie about 3 classical music composers. its gonna star sylvester stallone, bruce willis and arnold schwarzenegger (sp?).
the three of them are talking with director steven spielberg about which parts they will all play.
"which composer would you like to be bruce?" asked spielberg
"well ive always been a fan of chopin, id like to play him" said bruce
"and you sylvester?" asked spielberg
"mozarts the one for me" replied stallone
"and what about you arnold?" spielberg asked schwarzenegger
"ill be bach" said arnold
Knock knock
Who's there?
Smelmap
Smelmap Who?
Hahahahahaha, freakk1!!!!