My sister keeps telling me to see a councilor...

But I can't because I don't really know how to describe the problem. I'm going to school right now, taking business, but I'm planning on going strait into a writing course this January and dropping the business, because it turns out I hate it.

Anyway, I think there's a pretty good chance I'll fail all but one of my courses right now. lol the one course I will pass is, of course, Business Communications, a writing course.

The thing is, I'm not failing because I don't have the cognitive ability, I'm just too burnt out and not handling any of my life very well right now. I'm just not doing the work and falling behind, for the simple reason that I can't emotionally handle it. I can't handle anything anymore, I just want to go live on a secluded island and not worry about anything ever again. Constant anxiety, depression, no patience for anything anymore; most of the time I won't talk to any of my family because I just can't deal with them. The same worries keep going through my head 24/7, sometimes even waking me up in the middle of the night.

The only time I ever feel "good" (in an artificial way) is when I take huge amounts of painkillers till all I can feel is numbness and pleasure. Even then I'm miserable, but it's smothered in the numb pleasurable feeling. I know everyone would say that's the wrong thing to do, and albeit I've never done it before, but if I didn't get the break from reality I'm afraid I'd get suicidal.
Unfortunately weed only makes me feel worse, and in fact was giving me panic attacks every time I smoked it, so I quit 3 weeks ago and don't plan to use it again. It just amplifies everything that feels bad.

I guess the main thing is the aloneness getting to me. I have no friends, I have no experience with relationships, sex, not even been kissed; and I'm 22. I lost my best friend because I fell for her, then when she went out with another guy I lost it and told her off, ruining the friendship. She won't talk to me again.
Every day it sinks in more and more that I'll be alone forever, that nobody will ever love me; I'm not even sure I can make friends with my poor social skills. My old friends have all drifted away. Please, no talk of how it'll turn around eventually. I've been waiting for that train for too long and it never comes, no matter how many times I hope and try.


So back to the main topic, my sister insists I talk to a councilor to help me with my academic problems. I just don't see what a councilor could do though. Is he/she going to magically give me social skills? Will a councilor hook me up with a girlfriend? Make me friends? Make me stop having panic attacks when I'm in large groups of people? These are the reasons I can't succeed any more, what could a councilor possibly do? I already feel really insecure about sharing how I feel with other people, and I'm nervous as hell that he'll just say "well, you just need to change your attitude. There's nothing I can do." and I'll look like an idiot. Because really, what can they do?

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Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey

I just don't see what a councilor could do though. Is he/she going to magically give me social skills? Will a councilor hook me up with a girlfriend? Make me friends? Make me stop having panic attacks when I'm in large groups of people?

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Yes. That's EXACTLY what a therapist is for- to work you through the panic and give you tools to avoid the situations where you will have panic attacks, and deal withthem when you are forced to be in them.
The rest of it is up to you, but with the root problem addressed, you will find it easier.
I started seeing a therapist for my own anxiety and panic disorder about 2 years ago. My life has done a complete 180 since then. No more panic attacks. No more abusive boyfriends. No more avoiding large crowds or using alcohol to ease the time I had to spend in them.
I have no clue whatsoever why you haven't been to one yet. You're on here quite a bit voicing what sounds like a bad anxiety problem... if you've got anxiety/depression from a chemical imbalance, there's nothing anyone on canncom can do to help. Go see a therapist already. Sheesh. Hurry up, snap snap, get moving.

Stinky, Gurl you ain't never lie.

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

Yes. That's EXACTLY what a therapist is for- to work you through the panic and give you tools to avoid the situations where you will have panic attacks, and deal withthem when you are forced to be in them.
The rest of it is up to you, but with the root problem addressed, you will find it easier.
I started seeing a therapist for my own anxiety and panic disorder about 2 years ago. My life has done a complete 180 since then. No more panic attacks. No more abusive boyfriends. No more avoiding large crowds or using alcohol to ease the time I had to spend in them.
I have no clue whatsoever why you haven't been to one yet. You're on here quite a bit voicing what sounds like a bad anxiety problem... if you've got anxiety/depression from a chemical imbalance, there's nothing anyone on canncom can do to help. Go see a therapist already. Sheesh. Hurry up, snap snap, get moving.

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Ohhhh K, well you make a solid point StinkyAttic. But that's why I'm asking, I don't know if you're familiar with Social Anxiety Disorder (or strait-out social ineptitude in my case) but it's really nerve-wracking; the thought of opening up to someone with no idea what to expect.I've got this mental barrier that scares the shiznat out of me at the prospect of opening up. It's just easier to do knowing what I'm going into, ya know?

Thanks for the advice anyway.

Guess what I suspect I suffer from myself, GTG... or rather, used to suffer a lot MORE from...

No one can force you to see a shrink.

I had to hit bottom before I made the decision to go. Rock bottom included being arrested for felony assault with a deadly weapon. If it's a problem in your life, do yourself the favor and get your head shrunk before your problems get worse- you're spending all this time and energy worrying about the effects of what is essentially a chemical imbalance, and those effects are rubbing off into your life or lack thereof; how long will it take you before something more drastic than telling off a girl you like just because you are having anxiety issues? And what is it going to be?

It's easier to go through the initial humiliation (sounds like you see it that way anyway) of submitting to the care of a mental health professional than dealing with the after-effets of doing something outrageous because you're panicking.

I had been put on Zoloft, btw, before my arrest, by a NP (my PCP), who had completely misdiagnosed me with PMS-related depression. I should have gone directly to a shrink, but I was too embarrassed at that point to admit there was anything more serious than PMS wrong with me. We hear what we like to hear; the truth is harder to listen to sometimes. Take your sister's advice, and mine, or leave them for later. It's up to you whether you really want to solve your problems or not.

I'm moving this to the medical section.

I can't even pretend to know anything about mental health but as for anxiety/embarrassment about going to see a therapist think of it like this: They are professionals, they deal with people in your sort of situation every day. Everytime I have to do something I dont want to do i just think "hey, I wont be the worst person at it ever, there is always someone worse".

Dude, a therapist is a paid, wise friend. Go, do your best to explain what's bugging you. Chances are, s/he has heard it all before and may have some ideas to help. The worst that can happen, is that nothing happens!

I've been there, done that (and that summer my psych ran away with a younger guy to Tahiti! lol Go, Dr Mac! And I hope he was worth it!). Yet, on the whole it helped. I was able to deal with abandonment issues, my Mom's bipolar problems and her self-medicating, multiple addictions and my feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

Go!

Granny:hippy:

Well dude, I can honestly say to you that I know what its like to be in your situation and as a matter of fact I am still going through it. Feeling the way you feel is a horrible thing. You can't think about anything but that and it plagues you 24/7. I've been through it, I've attempted suicide, I've been in jail, I've had my heart crushed, I've seen a psychiatrist, drug therapist, am struggling in an engineering program that I hate, you name it and I've probably done it. When I went to see my psychiatrist i was a very nervous and skeptical just as you are. And to be honest with you, he was just another person to talk to. I still don't know if it ever made me feel better, but I always felt relieved after I left the office so even that little feeling of hope was worth it. If you just let your restrictions go and take a chance you might start feeling better. But it takes effort on your part. I'm still struggling with my life but I've done my best to try and make it better. And even if it wasn't a direct thing, what helped me to start was seeing my psychiatrist. That's when I started to turn things around and stop with the self pity. If you want things to change, you yourself have to make the changes.

Good Luck Man, I know how hard it is.....trust me, you're not alone.

Okay here is some advice from me. I have gone through similar (not the same) things recently.

1. If you hate it, you are right to leave. Don't let others convince you to stay in a career that your heart is not in.

2. Do you really hate the career or do you hate yourself? Please examine this issue before taking action on anything else.

3. Do see a psychologist, at least to see what it is like. You have nothing to lose, and you can certainly refuse medication in favor of talk therapy only. You'd be surprised what you are repressing and denying. Therapy sucks, take it from me, but nobody can force pills down your throat except you, so remember who's in the power seat, and you can get what you want out of therapy.

4. Where does your anxiety stem from? If you can't deal with this issue head-on, early on in life, it will come back to bite you in the ass later on. Get thee to professional help if you can't grapple with these issues alone.

5. Sometimes in life, you've got to kick yourself in the ass, because nobody else is willing to do it for you.

Before I continue I want to clear one thing up.

You do have friends. You have us here, a few of us that known you through all your plights MrD. We may not be there for you physically, but we are there for you in heart and spirit. Perhaps we never talked all that much, but I always had a connection with who you are and your words, it affects me deeply. In some ways, we are quite similar, and when I read what you say, it mirrors the way I am like. You do have friends, and you are capable of making more.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and instead be who you are. Smile. Relax, and try to be comfortable with who you are. Don't believe that you have to be something else in order to have friends, in order to have sex. You have to be you.

A counselor can do some good if you find the right one. Simply someone to talk to and vent your frustrations, and help you realize the mental barriers you set upon yourself.

I know the anguish you are going through, the frustration. But don't let life pass you by feeling sorry for yourself, there's a lot of life to live. You gotta fight your mind from these negative thoughts, and inject them with good.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Smile :)