Hey guys, haven't been around these parts in a little while. thought I'd drop in and say hello.
Anyways I ve been smoking pretty regularly, mostly weekends sometimes everyday since about 14 (jus 18 now) recently past few months goin everday. I decided my tolerance was too far up and decided to quit for a month.
Two weeks in I come home a little faded, take a shower, go to bed. My dad comes in my room, "your not high are you". I say no , he says I was being quite and he was gonna test me just in case. night of test I drink 80-90 oz water and pass the test.
They say just to be safe there gonna test me on a regular basis randomly.
Bullshit. So I guess I am done. Last time I smoked was Sunday march 4th, three weeks sober this sunday.
I must say its a good thing to sober up for a while, it made me realize how much I really love weed and how much that love affair needed a break. There is such thing as weed addiction, its not a physical craving, I just love smoking herb, no other way to describe it.
I love the way it makes me feel at the end of the day, during concerts, surfing, just about anything, with food.
its been a gradual proces, but over the years its become a part of me.
The bad thing is I have been drinking on the weeknds. I never really drank before at all, and after two weekends I am over it. Yet, I still want to do it and I crave to be intoxicated by alcohol.
This scares me.
I feel an alcohol addiction coming on and I am worried, I want it, even now.
I used to hate it and be against it (still am, I guess that makes me a hipocrit)
And even after I came back from my break I planned on not smoking nearly as much (ditching bongs all together. i love pipes joints and blunts , oldschool 4 life ; )} and I did this all on my own, quitting cold turkey on my own.
And now my parents are gonna turn me into an alchoholic. I just want to be able to smoke herb every now and then, thats it. But my dad insisits "I know your gonna drink but don't smoke weed, its for hippies, liberals, and African-americans (you know what he said)".
I hate it. Why can't he understand how dangerous alcohol is and how good I am at managing my weed habit. I don't know if I can manage alcohol, ive never felt like ive needed a substance before to cope, even "smoking a bowl to calm down or go to bed " wasnt' and option. I would stop myself and say , "weed is not your escape" and literally force myself not to smoke if I ever felt "compelled" to do it.
This is fucked. Im worried guys.
