Appropriate, or not?

[Feebs420]

So, long story short one of my friend's dad commited suicide and i feel really bad for this kid, he didnt nothing to deserve something like this and i wanna help him out. Do you think it would be appropriate to leave a package for him with some green in it on his front doorstep? I know he likes to smoke, but i bet thats the last thing on his mind right now, but i'm sure it would help calm his nerves. And i wanna keep it anonymous, just because thats how i like to do things.

[couch-potato]

I'd wait...

[hempplaya]

not sure about doin that, just hang with him and be there for him...it's the best thing you can do for him. just light one up and ask him if he wants a hit, sorry to hear about your friend's dad...i lost my cousin who od'd (purposely we've decided) on a mix of heroin and cocaine a few years ago

[nikweiser]

just kick it with him, talk to him let him know you are a homie and you are there for him.. and bring weed with you if he likes green... give him some space though too. just let him know your there

[420purplehaze420]

nah not a good idea, it wont calm his nerves, it will make him more emotional, only thing that helps with that kind of situation is time

[partyguy420]

i would just ring him up, and offer a smoke out if he wants.... and tellm him your there for him, and that he can call you anytime he needs...

and its true, only time will heal something that bad... you cant just cover it with alcohal and buds for ever....

[Bob the Awesome]

Yea, go ahead and call him, give him a few kind words, tell him if he needs anything to call you, and whenever things have settled a bit that you've got a joint/bottle/both with his name on it waiting.

[napolitana869]

you're heart is in the right place but it might be too soon for something like that. you sound like you're a really good friend to want to do that for him and not want any credit for it. you could always ask if he wanted to smoke with you and if he says yes and it seems to help him out then you could leave him a nice gift

[Feebs420]

thanks for all the input, ive decided not to leave the magical green herb on his doorstep. Ill most likely see him in the next few days. Me and some mates are probobly gunna go over to see him, and ill most likely leave a joint in his room for him. Im sure he hasnt been getting any sleep and a nice joint would probobly help.

[birdgirl73]

Remember, Feebs, when people are feeling anxious or desperately sad or low, sometimes weed makes them feel worse or makes anxiety worse. I think that's why several people urged you to gently let your friend know it's available if he's interested and then let him tell you if and when he's actually wants to smoke. More than anything, just be there to support him emotionally and let him talk if and when he's ready. If and when he's ready for weed, let him tell you that, too.

Sometimes the best thing in the world to help folks who've suffered a tremendous loss, particularly a shocking, sudden loss like a suicide, is to just be available nearby and not push, or talk, or visit en masse, or leave joints, or insist on doing anything tangible right away. Exercising that restraint is probably the hardest thing in the world for friends to do when they simply want to help or to make some visible gesture, especially when you're young and impatient. Try just letting him know you're there for him and then chill and let him reach out when he's ready. Suicide of a parent is huge, traumatic thing for a kid to contend with. That's why you need to do him the courtesy of giving him support and space.

[Purple Banana]

Good thought, and kind, but remember- being there for him first, having a human being to talk with him is irreplacable versus smoking a joint, even if it could help ease the pain.

It's best not to distract ones self during such an emotional time, as feelings of this sort need to be felt raw so we can deal with them in a healthy, albeit painful way. But it helps in the long run to be able to sort it out.

Give it like 2 weeks, or so. Remember, weed should never be an escape from problems, rather, used as a healing aid to bring happiness and fun.

Good luck with everything.

[rainbows.rsexy]

give thanx and praise to the lord, and U will feeeeeeeel alriggggghhhhhht

[hewhispers]

If I can add....
You may not know just how to react to his situation...it is so very foreign to most of us ....which is why you wanted to do something...the gift was a nice gesture for sure...but I can tell you from personal experience that the best thing to do is to BE there.

When it happened in my life I found that people avoided us, not knowing what to do. And what I wanted people to know was that I just wanted them to be around us so I wasn't alone, so I had someone to talk with, so I had a reason to be distracted.

Trust me...he wants your company more than anything.
Take him out. Invite him out. It does not have to be anything big..it can be small. It just gives him the opportunity to talk, which he might not have now.

Good luck.

[Storm Crow]

To put it bluntly, about 25 years ago, my Mother committed suicide after many years of severe alcohol abuse. She shot herself. I was a few hundred miles away and dead broke. I fell apart, even though she had attempted suicide several times before and her death was not unexpected. A half hour after I got the phone call, my friendly neighborhood dealer came over unexpectedly to see if she could sell me a bag of Columbian. She took one look at me and gave me the bag, saying "Pay me when you can." and left a minute later. (A speed freak, but basically a good person.)

For me, getting that baggie was a life-saver. It allowed me to function (I had 2 small children at the time) and gave me a "breather" from the pain. Ask your friend how he's doing and if he thinks lighting one up would help his pain. - Granny

[MastaChronic]

when my dad killed himself i smoked some of his stash (it was my first time) and it didnt do jack for me....for a little bit, then it hit me like a bag of turtles and it made me feel better.

[qdavid]

Your heart's in the right place. You rock. But the best thing you can do for him, and I know from personal experience, is to listen, just be there, don't judge, don't even reply much, just listen to him. He needs to talk. Don't push. Just be there. And listen. He'll really appreciate just that simple act. Not exactly console. Just let him talk.

[rg420]

I didnt read through everyones posts in the thread so someone might have said this.

If it was me I would call him up, and just invite him to a one on one session ya know. Just so he knows that you care. I mean just have it be you and him, just talking, he probably wants someone to talk to so that be a good thing for you to do. but whatever you do, dont force it on him to smoke. He may actually not want it right now.