For all the Yanks :P

[neilmcca]

MEMORANDUM



TO: The Citizens of the United States of America
RE: Revocation of your Independence

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy much. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize". 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents? Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly? or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "Shit". You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French; they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Piss", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Piss". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776.

Thank you for your cooperation.

[ineedskillz]

Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off...
And what about us Canadians..?

[neilmcca]

Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off...
And what about us Canadians..?



when Tony has moved into the white house, we'll gather up a couple of soldiers and walk across the border and sort your lot out too, :D
it's for your own good, ice hockey is shite,
learn a proper sport like Rugby. ;)
and we'll never forgive you for giving us that gravelly voiced tosser called Brian Adams, and not forgeting Celine Dion and Shania fucking twain :mad:


your time is up.............

[notanovice]

if we, the people of the U.S.A., do what you ask of us, who will bail your bloody asses out of sure extermination.
who bailed you out of 2 world wars etc etc etc
we do not wish to have a bloody, inbred, blueblood to reighn over us
royalty schmoyalty, just piss bush off and see what happens.
rugby, hah! looks kinda gay to me. yes, i know it`s a tough game, but to me, a bunch of guys standing around a ball, hugging each other so tightly, waiting to grab a BALL, uh is kind of gay looking to me, but that`s just my opinion.oh yes, then there`s cricket. WTF kinda game is that???

so patiently waiting for your reply
lmao
rofl
pmp

[roll it up]

oh?an who the hell do u think U are?

[F L E S H]

Rugby gay? All I see when I watch footbal is a buch of guys tapping each other on the ass... What other sport has a position called 'Tight End'? :D lol

As for Canada, technically, we're still part of the British empire, since the Governor General, representative of the Queen here, is the chief of state. We still have that crazy lady on all our change, and on the $20 bill!

Meh, I would much rather that Canada returns to the U.K. than Quebec separating... Now THAT'S nonsense! :eek: ... :D

[sawleaf]

Me and my assault weapons say Fuck You tommy! Lets see how the Royal military does against the US military and millions of armed angry citizens. I agree with you about rugby, American football, and American cars, but no way would America become a bunch of pansy tea drinkers. We are not Argentina, you guys would get your asses kicked 10 times over!

[Kombucha]

Lol that is exactly what I always think neilmcca.
Notanovice, America did not "bail us out" of either World War. We went into both world wars to protect the freedom of other countries that you like to think YOU protect. You should have been in from the beginning. Secondly, the Allies would have won both wars without the USA, (although admitedly not as quickly) we had lots of other Allies such as Canada, Australia, New Zealand, France, India, lots of African countries etc, which could be bothered to help.

Oh, sawleaf, maybe you have a bigger military, but we have a better military for its size. Anyway, to take control we'd just employ some idiot Texan to talk a load of crap about America being the best country in the world, he'd be sure to be elected. Then we'd just use our superior intellects to trick him into handing us control. You have our language, learn to accept our control. Ha ha ha haaa. You know English guys make the best baddies. Alan Rickman would be minister of America by the way. He'd rule in a similar way to his role as the Sherif of Nottingham (you don't pronounce the "H" in Nottingham by the way)

[sawleaf]

Lol that is exactly what I always think neilmcca.
Notanovice, America did not "bail us out" of either World War. We went into both world wars to protect the freedom of other countries that you like to think YOU protect. You should have been in from the beginning. Secondly, the Allies would have won both wars without the USA, (although admitedly not as quickly) we had lots of other Allies such as Canada, Australia, New Zealand, France, India, lots of African countries etc, which could be bothered to help.

WW2 would not have been won without the US. You Brits were isolated by the German war machine. You did not have the military power to launch a European offensive. The Austrailian mainland was defensless against the Japanese since the Aussies were in North Africa fighting. Yeah we didn't get involved until we were attacked in WW2, we should've started fighting earlier. The Germans and Japanese were both working on atomic programs! If the US had not gotten involved it is likely that London would've been exactly like Hiroshima.

[sawleaf]

Oh, sawleaf, maybe you have a bigger military, but we have a better military for its size. Anyway, to take control we'd just employ some idiot Texan to talk a load of crap about America being the best country in the world, he'd be sure to be elected. Then we'd just use our superior intellects to trick him into handing us control. You have our language, learn to accept our control. Ha ha ha haaa. You know English guys make the best baddies. Alan Rickman would be minister of America by the way. He'd rule in a similar way to his role as the Sherif of Nottingham (you don't pronounce the "H" in Nottingham by the way)
Wow you almost sound like a Nazi. How do you figure your military is better? I have served with Aussie diggers and British troops and besides the Royal Comandos I was not impressed very much.

[Kombucha]

Well, Britain had basically the entire Commonwealth on it's side, plus a lot of European countries (sorry I forgot the USSR in our list of allies.) Germany and its allies would not have won. The USSR had a very big army, and German resources were spread thinly. Germany would most probably have not succeeded in creating their atomic bomb before they were defeated, they were busy creating flying saucers.

[Kombucha]

Well firstly, the fact that America had to get British troops to do the fighting in the mountains of Afghanistan, because American troops couldn't suggests a lack of skill. Secondly the UK has lost nearly 4 times the amount of troops the Uk has lost (by percentage.)
And of course the fact that US troops keep shooting ours.

[ineedskillz]

when Tony has moved into the white house, we'll gather up a couple of soldiers and walk across the border and sort your lot out too, :D
it's for your own good, ice hockey is shite,
learn a proper sport like Rugby. ;)
and we'll never forgive you for giving us that gravelly voiced tosser called Brian Adams, and not forgeting Celine Dion and Shania fucking twain :mad:


your time is up.............


Say anything you wan't about Canada or the U.S..

But don't ever say anything bad about HOCKEY. It's The fastest hardest hitting sport on the face of the earth. And not one of your wanker rugby players would stand a chance in a bout with any of our tough guy's.
You limy's are just jelous go to a dam dentist that smile is scarring me :eek:

[sawleaf]

Well, Britain had basically the entire Commonwealth on it's side, plus a lot of European countries (sorry I forgot the USSR in our list of allies.) Germany and its allies would not have won. The USSR had a very big army, and German resources were spread thinly. Germany would most probably have not succeeded in creating their atomic bomb before they were defeated, they were busy creating flying saucers.

The only reason they lost to the Russians was because of the mass of the Russian Army and that they were being pressed by the US from the West. Stalingrad was the bloodiest battle in man's history. What army besides the Russians can accept over a million casualties in a single battle and call that a victory. You guys were almost defeated during the summer of 1940. If Hiltler had not changed tactics at the last minute I think you would be speaking German now. Oh and lets not forget SE Asia where the Japanese kicked the hell out of both of us. It was the US offensive in the Pacific and Europe that made the difference in WW2.

[sawleaf]

Well firstly, the fact that America had to get British troops to do the fighting in the mountains of Afghanistan, because American troops couldn't suggests a lack of skill. Secondly the UK has lost nearly 4 times the amount of troops the Uk has lost (by percentage.)
And of course the fact that US troops keep shooting ours.

lol It's not that US troops can't fight in the mountains. lol That is absolutely ridiculous. There are more US troops fighting and we are in more hot spots. We are allies in the war so we need to give the UK troops something to do. Friendly fire happens in every war man has ever fought.

[Kombucha]

By the way ineedskillz, British teeth aren't really that bad, I've got no idea where that comes from. It's not really a very good generalisation.

sawleaf, it was that US troops had not been trained well enough to be able to cope with mountains properly. Friendly fire might happen, but the US shot down our very distinctive planes and helicopters (since when do the Iraqi guerillas use fighter jets with RAF logos) and even attacked a very clearly marked British convoy. Its not like it was easy to make a mistake.

[ineedskillz]

And you think the rest of this thread is..?

I would have stood quietly by just reading..But than some brit wanker disrespected the greatest game on earth..I played rugby all through high school and im not saying it's a bad game..But don't even compare it to hockey..

I guess you have never seen the big book of british smile's

[sawleaf]

By the way ineedskillz, British teeth aren't really that bad, I've got no idea where that comes from. It's not really a very good generalisation.

sawleaf, it was that US troops had not been trained well enough to be able to cope with mountains properly. Friendly fire might happen, but the US shot down our very distinctive planes and helicopters (since when do the Iraqi guerillas use fighter jets with RAF logos) and even attacked a very clearly marked British convoy. Its not like it was easy to make a mistake.

Hell, must've been Army National Guard troops. Yeah they do suck. You can't say all US forces are the same. Marine infantry, is different from other Marine units and other Army units. I am tired of National Guard troops going into combat, they don't get enough training you are right. I don't know of any Marine units in Afghanistan currently. Most are in Iraq.

[Kombucha]

Whatever that book is I haven't seen it. But living in Britain I do get to see a lot of British mouths.

[ineedskillz]

Ok ok ill stop with the Brit's and there teeth..
I was just upset about the Hockey is shite comment..

[Kombucha]

Well I have to admit it looks a good game. A bit over-violent though. I'd be no good at it, I can't skate.

[ineedskillz]

Ineedskillz light's up a fat joint and passes it to Kombucha..COUGH COUGH peace my freind.. :cool:

[BOgart.bitch]

haha i actually thought that was pretty hilarious, neilmcca. i love being american and im sure id never give it up for anything else if i were given the chance.. even though i do disagree with a lot that goes on in our politics (then again..the people who disagree with nothing would be the ones who worry me most). but.. even so.. i have a sense of humor so.. *applauds* haha

[Kombucha]

Yeah ineedskillz I really need that joint. I've got nothing here.

[neilmcca]

lol

i was only after a laugh while having a sly "dig" at our valued comrades across the pond !! :confused:
and it all goes pear shaped, and everyone gets on their high horses about the military and WW2 ?!?!
sorry if anyone has seen their arse over this, :o
but i ain't retracting the comment about ice hockey :D it's a sport for big girls.

[SmokeyPotter]

That was hilarious. I myself welcome our new British overlords.

Well, got to go down to the harbour to do some hard labour. Then I owe my Neighbour a favour. I promised to plough his fields!

[GHoSToKeR]

yeah i thought that was pretty fuckin funny... some people need to get a sense of humour

[maryjanemama]

We won our independence by kicking your asses over 200 years ago and we will do it again...don't tempt us. Ask yourself why Tony Blair has his head up Bush's ass...
Btw, humor is funny that was condescending.
If any of us need your help, we'll ask, but unless we need to boil a chicken or open a parsol, I doubt it.

[GHoSToKeR]

mjm.. it was a joke.....

[sawleaf]

I'm tired of all the anti-american BS on this website. You don't see posts with us bitching about other countries. Every country is fucked up in it's own way. Fix your own problems instead of pointing at ours.

[GHoSToKeR]

TAKE A FUCKING JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

holy crap whats wrong with you people? when Austin Powers came out, makin a twat out of british people in general, you didnt see a load of Brits crying going "aww im so offended blah blah blah" because IT WAS A JOKE, HUMOUR, COMEDY!!!!!!!!!! jeez

[maryjanemama]

This is not a good time for jokes, it's a time of war, there's unrest here and a lot of anger. It was a bad joke, in poor taste, and compares in no way to Austin Powers.

[GHoSToKeR]

oh man... oh man, oh man, oh man...

"Please dont tell jokes right now.. we started a war and now we're paying the consequences.. so please, save your sense of humour for when we're kicking the crap out of someone for a valid reason and doing a good job"

[sawleaf]

You Brits would've responded the same way had one of us posted about the US invading your country and changing your lifestyles.

[GHoSToKeR]

You Brits would've responded the same way had one of us posted about the US invading your country and changing your lifestyles.No! No, you see, that's where you wrong!! When we talk about us invading the USA, it's just a joke - you know that and we know that! But if you were to talk about the USA invading the UK, then it's less of a joke and probably more of a prophecy..

[00Ampersand]

Everyone, shut the fuck up before I slap yas all with my ginormous member! I'm sick of hearing it!
Alright, I'm going to even out the board by saying that:

canadians are too deferent
americans are hard-asses
brits have bad teeth

Now that we're all even, will everyone fuck off with the generalizations? what are we, three?? Pull the cuccumbers out of your asses and grow the fuck up! I didn't find the first post offensive (nor did I find it funny), but what I DO find offensive is witnessing everyone's nationalistic cock-waggling. We're all tokers here, so show some respect to each other...FUCK!!!!
~007~

[neilmcca]

**groan**

i've taken a "holiday" from this forum for the past couple of months because i was a little bit bored with a few people,
thanks for the reminder............

sheeeeeesh :confused:

[GHoSToKeR]

Everyone, shut the fuck up before I slap yas all with my ginormous member! I'm sick of hearing it!
Alright, I'm going to even out the board by saying that:

canadians are too deferent
americans are hard-asses
brits have bad teeth

Now that we're all even, will everyone fuck off with the generalizations? what are we, three?? Pull the cuccumbers out of your asses and grow the fuck up! I didn't find the first post offensive (nor did I find it funny), but what I DO find offensive is witnessing everyone's nationalistic cock-waggling. We're all tokers here, so show some respect to each other...FUCK!!!!
~007~
good idea.. im done

[maryjanemama]

Haha, Sawleaf, I saw that you were going to reply and changed your mind. Good idea...we can just revel in knowing that we are absolutely right.

[sawleaf]

1. We don't care. You can understand us like we can understand you.

2. Bill Gates doesn't care. He is too rich to care what people in the UK think. We don't care about British television or movies. If we did you'd see more on this side of the Atlantic.

5. We love our National Athem. It reminds us how an entire fleet of British ships couldn't shoot down a flagpole.

6. Agreed, American football sucks(my opinion). But would you really want us to get better at real football(soccer)? If it got too popular here, we'd start buying all the best players from your football clubs.

7. Nope no nuclear war with anyone. I'd have to be crazy to agree with you there. Sorry, I'm keeping my guns.

8. July 4th will be renamed to National Pyro Day

9. All American cars are hereby banned. So are double-decker buses.

10. Yeah maybe you're right about potato products. Wait, fuck who cares.

11. Fuck Tea!

12. Budweiser sucks, mass produced beer sucks, ignorance sucks. Boston Beer Company=most beer awards of any beer in history of beer, including gold medals from the Brits!

13. Hell, gas is expensive at 2 bucks a gallon. No thanks.

14. No guns, therapists, or lawyers? I like choices. Keep your lack of freedom on your island.

15. You tell us?

16. We have enough taxes. But nothing like the Poll Tax.

Thank you for your cooperation.[/QUOTE]

[GHoSToKeR]

Haha, Sawleaf, I saw that you were going to reply and changed your mind. Good idea...we can just revel in knowing that we are absolutely right.
MJM, come on... are you being serious!?!?!?

[sawleaf]

good idea.. im done

No your not :)

[GHoSToKeR]

No your not :)
Yes. I am. I'm done arguing. What exactly are you suggesting?

[sawleaf]

Yes. I am. I'm done arguing. What exactly are you suggesting?
Just seeing how many posts you'll post over your stated stop point. :D

[GHoSToKeR]

Just seeing how many posts you'll post over your stated stop point. :D
lol im aiming for 12 :D :p

[sawleaf]

Just testing the Brit sense of humor. :p

[neilmcca]

Jesus H Christ............................


is humour lost on everyone on this board ?

i thought stoned people were supposed to be mellow and relaxed ?
half the idiots who have been on this thread seem to be on something else !

if this thread causes such offence (which was never the intention) can a moderator please delete it.

i've stayed off this forum for the past 3 months because of certain attitudes and personalities, hoping to fuck they would eventually leave, but hey, not a cat in hell's chance.

bye y'all

[GHoSToKeR]

wow chill out dude.. its all good :)

[sawleaf]

Jesus H Christ............................


is humour lost on everyone on this board ?

i thought stoned people were supposed to be mellow and relaxed ?
half the idiots who have been on this thread seem to be on something else !

if this thread causes such offence (which was never the intention) can a moderator please delete it.

i've stayed off this forum for the past 3 months because of certain attitudes and personalities, hoping to fuck they would eventually leave, but hey, not a cat in hell's chance.

bye y'all

Wow this is worst than your original post.

[maryjanemama]

Yawn. Bwahahahahaha...pissing and moaning is part of the boards. Ppl disagree, but we're still all cool with each other. It's called adulthood. If you wanna leave, Neil, go ahead, but Mary's here to stay. I feel another bwahahahaha is in order.

I'm still trying to figure out what Tilde meant by "nationalistic". :D

[ineedskillz]

It was funny at first neilmcca.. Your little rant about some limy's taking over the U.S.
and Canada.

But now your disrespecting something I care deeply about."hockey a big girls game"
LFAO..Ya exactly our womans team would kick the shit out of any men's team you could put out..

[GHoSToKeR]

Yawn. Bwahahahahaha...pissing and moaning is part of the boards. Ppl disagree, but we're still all cool with each other. It's called adulthood. If you wanna leave, Neil, go ahead, but Mary's here to stay. I feel another bwahahahaha is in order.

I'm still trying to figure out what Tilde meant by "nationalistic". :D
lol yeah, like notanovice said, this place can be like a soap opera sometimes.. but its all good :)

[sawleaf]

It was funny at first neilmcca.. Your little rant about some limy's taking over the U.S.
and Canada.

But now your disrespecting something I care deeply about."hockey a big girls game"
LFAO..Ya exactly our womans team would kick the shit out of any men's team you could put out..

Scary...

[kr1Nx01]

hockey sucks, canada sucks, i live in america, i'd rather be a british citizen.

:D :D :D

[LonerStoner]

That was some funny shit, neilmcca. You can't discount all our beers though, I'll take a nice, room-temp, oatmeal stout over any of the aforementioned "Near-Frozen Gnat's Piss".

I just have one question: How do you plan on teaching a country populated by knuckledraggers such as us the convoluted crap you call cricket?

btw, Coupling is some funny fucking shit, the "re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience" version sucked big fat donkey balls.

Peas out:D

God save the Queen :P

[Mrs PotatoHead]

I haven't laughd so hard in a long time and you make such a good point on the accents and use/abuse of the english language. Can't agree with you on the beer though. When you live in a hot country (Australia) the last thing you wanna drink is a warm one.

Any one who takes this thread seriously needs to loosen up and have a smoke your too fuckin up tight.

Go on laugh it's good for you. :D

[Mrs PotatoHead]

You Brits would've responded the same way had one of us posted about the US invading your country and changing your lifestyles.
As an Australian I can tell you now there is a lot of dumb shit about our country and culture and if someone posted something like that I would laugh but strongly defend the drinking of cold beer. And yes people on this forum have made dumb comments about Australia's convict past and I laughed for serious reasons like ; its funny when someone from a country that was also part settled by convicts, made the comment. I also laughd cos well it's partially true. Won't go into Aust hist 1010 now but most people here are not convict descendants but it's still funny.

We can all laugh cos it's happening to us here. For example when you walk down the street here instead of being mugged by some "oy boy, westie, bogun thug" you find yourself being mugged by some kid wearing a yankees cap, bull's shirt, homi pants and phat sneakers. Frightening prospect to have your country overrun by foreign invaders isn't it??? :D

[Kombucha]

Yeah good point Mrs Potatohead, America is already invading the entire world and changing it's lifestyles. This thread was just a joke, there was nothing offensive in the first post, so please stop moaning about it. Post how America would change British culture if you want, if it's funny I will laugh. If you do make sure you find some real facts about Britain though, not what Americans think they know about Britain. You have to understand that America is in a very unique position in the world. It is the most successful country in many ways and so the entire world can see how you live, and so are in a good position to criticise it. Anyone successful is guaranteed to be disliked, and you have to fair, some people have good reason, (or think they have good reason) to dislike the USA.

[notanovice]

i understood your post was just some humourous poking at the U.S.A.
i was posting the same type of british witt in mine
i hope i didnt offend any one

[JohnnyBravo]

fantastic ... printing off several hundred copies as we speak ... :)

[JohnnyBravo]

To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always, we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. We hate to ruin your tea-party here, but the sun has, in fact, set on the British Empire! Cheerio!

However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world.

To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:

1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the ORIGINAL spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman).
However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor.
2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue.
3. Review your basic arithmetic. If you're going to make up an arbitrary statistic, use the same number consistently. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and, 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)
4. You want English actors cast as good guys? How about Stephen Fry playing Oscar Wilde in "Wilde"? How about Rupert Everett in "The Next Best Thing"? Oh, you want English actors cast as STRAIGHT good guys!
Ahem. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front.
5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule Britannia ditty. It's toe- tapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle In The Wind" yet again for you guys.
6. Improve at your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident.
7. Learn how to cook. For your own sake if nobody else's. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. If the French can figure it out, you should be able to.
8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing; it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies. Ground- based wiring? What the F**kHuh
9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".

Thank you for your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.

P.S. Regarding World War II: You're Welcome.

[maryjanemama]

I'd like to add:

10. You can keep Madonna.

[Lulu]

I'd like to add:

10. You can keep Madonna.
Hahahahaha
Yeah! and what the fuck did she do to poor Guy Richie :confused:
He's wearing check tweedy old English country gentleman's sports jackets and a matching flat cap nowadays - Fashion Police ! Someone ! Anyone ! Slap him hard ffs :rolleyes: :D

[Kombucha]

Nice one Johnnie Bravo. I would like to correct some inaccuracies:

We are a world power
The country is officially a monarchy but the Queen has no real power, only the government does. If you look at our systems you will see your country behave more like a monarchy than ours does, with most of the power being held by one person.
The Chinese and Indian food you like is the Anglicised versions of it. You want some real Chinese/Indian food? Try plain sticky rice.
Candle in the wind is shit. Although we do have the oldest national anthem I do think Rule Britannia is more fun.
Football (soccer to you) is a great game, that's why just about the entire world takes it seriously (except Americans.) The reason we didn't get close to 4th place in the Olympics is because we do not compete in football as we have English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish teams, whereas if we competed in the Olympics we would have to play as Britain (which in all fairness would basically just be England anyway.)
I apologise for Teletubbies, so who killed JFK? And by the way, what happened at Roswell? And I really think you should apologise for Barney the Dinosaur.
As for aluminium, we made the language, we can do what we want with it.
You should be thanking us for WW2. You would have been screwed if you had entered war with Germany and no one had resisted them.
We make a lot of good films you just don't see them. I think if you compare the amount of rubbish Hollywood comes out with as a percentage to what Britain creates you will see who's boss.

If nothing else we can always rely on our superior sense of humour, culture and intelligence.

You can now return to watching slapstick American comedy containing an incredible lack of subtlety

[Kombucha]

Sorry, Johnny Bravo

[JohnnyBravo]

Sorry, Johnny Bravo

No need to apologise Kombucha, it's all light-hearted fun, although I can tell some people have taken a little dry humour to heart.

Just for the record I am also english, and both neilmcca's original post and my second post are the products of another website - I don't have the wit or knowledge to think up all that shite. Laters

http://www.jardmail.co.uk/seasonal/usreply.shtml

[Kombucha]

Oh right. Well I meant sorry cos I misspelt your name. There was me thinking neilmcca was clever. Oh well.

[F L E S H]

If you can't have a sense of humour about yourself and your culture, you're a sad, sad case. Neilmcca and JohnnyBravo's are both very funny :D



P.S.: Hockey is the greatest sport in the world!

[litespeed]

hay can we smoke pot in the new order??????????????
when the Queen is overseer

[Kombucha]

Of course. Prince Harry does it, why can't you? We won't be tyrants, just get amusement out of our power, that's all.

[Mrs PotatoHead]

This thread is incredibly funny and I am still laughing my arse off.. :D

[Imotep]

This si some funny shit people.

my australianness is a bastard hybrid of pom and yank and home grown ozzy.
cultural influences run deep.
ac/dc, cricket and aussie beer.

[Kombucha]

I like Australia, it's like a better version of the UK

[bruiser]

WW2 would not have been won without the US. You Brits were isolated by the German war machine. You did not have the military power to launch a European offensive. The Austrailian mainland was defensless against the Japanese since the Aussies were in North Africa fighting. Yeah we didn't get involved until we were attacked in WW2, we should've started fighting earlier. The Germans and Japanese were both working on atomic programs! If the US had not gotten involved it is likely that London would've been exactly like Hiroshima.

Hey dude I may not be a huge war buff! but I do know that during both wars Canada took important area's of the war that wasn't taken by our other allie's,and they brought in the fighting canadians to mop the place up!of course I give credit to all allie's but just wanted to mention the fact that many very important area's of the war haden't been won until the canadians laid the smack down! When a famouse brittish commander was asked who did he see as a true help to your cause he answered with this" the war would have been lost if it wasn't for those damn Canadian bastards lol"

[00Ampersand]

Yes, americans tend to forget that we had the fourth largest army in the world at the time, so we weren't just some acessory to the war. We were a force to be reckoned with!.........man, things have deteriorated, eh bruiser? haha
~007~

[00Ampersand]

and we shot down the Red Baron! w00t.....(and yes, that was world war one. I know)
~007~

[thecrackbaby]

Me and my assault weapons say Fuck You tommy! Lets see how the Royal military does against the US military and millions of armed angry citizens. !


American gun owners are inbred trash, so is your military.



Wow you almost sound like a Nazi. How do you figure your military is better? I have served with Aussie diggers and British troops and besides the Royal Comandos I was not impressed very much.



The american military is nothing but small town hick trash who could either flip burgers or kill babies. Recruiters will take anyone, they comb the ghettos and middle america looking for losers who will make nice canon fodder. Its nothing to be proud of.



I'm tired of all the anti-american BS on this website. You don't see posts with us bitching about other countries. Every country is fucked up in it's own way. Fix your own problems instead of pointing at ours.


Ok, but my country doesnt go around the world raping and killing citizens of other nations including women and children. Poor americans dont like to even hear about what evil scum you are? Gee poor you. I care about the iraqis not you. When you stop acting like the worlds bully, we will stop making jokes about you.





1.

2. Bill Gates doesn't care. He is too rich to care what people in the UK think. We don't care about British television or movies. If we did you'd see more on this side of the Atlantic.


You prefer mindless american garbage. Lots of explosions, jerry bruckheimer, just garbage.


5. We love our National Athem. It reminds us how an entire fleet of British ships couldn't shoot down a flagpole.


Your anthem reminds me of dead indians and slaves



7. Nope no nuclear war with anyone. I'd have to be crazy to agree with you there. Sorry, I'm keeping my guns


Gun owners are inbred. Welcome to the 21st century, there is no place for gun trash in the world. And you gun isnt keeping you free.



9. All American cars are hereby banned. So are double-decker buses.



Public transit is a commie plot to stop the americans from consuming all the world resources, as is your divine birthright.



11. Fuck Tea!


Fuck waffle house



13. Hell, gas is expensive at 2 bucks a gallon. No thanks.



Get and out and walk you fat american. American gas is too cheap, you dont pay your share. All the worlds oil is going to be used up so a fat american can drive his hummer, and all stupid americans can say to this is "tree hugger". Actually conserving oil is not a commie plot to take away your bible and make you gay.



14. No guns, therapists, or lawyers? I like choices. Keep your lack of freedom on your island.


Guns dont make you free, they make you prisoners in your suburb. I guess you are free to get shot, dont know why thats so great.



16. We have enough taxes. But nothing like the Poll Tax.

No you dont pay enough taxes. Taxes pay for sevices that benefit everyone. Americans are just too dumb to adopt socialism, like all civlised nations. So you pay less taxes, yet your schools suck, your health care is only for the rich and you have giant ghettos. Thats a great system.

[/QUOTE]



To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always, we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. We hate to ruin your tea-party here, but the sun has, in fact, set on the British Empire! Cheerio!


At least they can find the "rest of the world" on a map.


However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world.



Except america which loves kings in places like afghantistan and kuwait. A king is good when it serves americas intrests.





2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue.


LOL you cant do that, any canuck can pass for american if they want to. You might pass as a canuck until you said y'know 50 times. Unless you are southern, midwestern, from boston new york or texas. If you are from michigan or vermont you might be able to.




Ahem. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture.


At least you added the pop. Because no one relys on america for culture, because you dont have any.


We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse.


So they only make 1 movie a year? Or only one movie you have heard about?



7. Learn how to cook. For your own sake if nobody else's. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. If the French can figure it out, you should be able to.



So why is it that jamie oliver is 1 of the best cooks in the world? Let me guess you have never been to england and think its all black pudding. Get a passport, dont be an ignorant american your whole life.
BTW jack in the box, catfish sandwhichs, grits. America is one big fat clogged artery. I think i mentioned waffle house already in this post, but why is there one on every exit on i-95?


8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing; it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England.


Cars should be expensive, no one needs one.



9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".


Teletubbies is great at 6 am on mushrooms


Thank you for your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.


Ok if you promise to watch the OC


P.S. Regarding World War II: You're Welcome.


Get a history book, american movies always make you out to be heros




Americans are a funny group. Stupid religious to the point of denying evolution and thinking abstinece works. Instead of handing out condoms they give you a pamphlet to try to guilt trip you into denying a biological need. That approach works wonder in africa.
No matter how many people get shot there, they will never admit they are wrong about guns. Too dumb to be enviromentalists they elect an oil man for prez who spends his time devising ways to demonize gay people. And bush appeals appeals big time to a population the produces illiterate college grads. He is perfect leader for a nation who knows nothing about the world, because he doesnt either. A hawk tells him iraqis will greet the troops with flowers, he believes this and tells stupid americans the same thing. And dumb americans wonder why iraqis are shooting at them, they dont understand how an iraqi wouldnt be thrilled at be occupied. To hear americans talk about iraq, you would they actually did something to you 1st. What kind of world view can americans really have when most think saddam was behind 9-11?

[Imotep]

i wasnt very impressed with abu grahib.

ive known guys here is oz whove done military manouvers with yanks and they said they were all yehawin and high fivin the whole time lol.
i mean thats a cultural thing but its funny. :D

[sawleaf]

The crackbaby, you whole post was just bullshit and ignorance. I am not going to even go into it, because you don't seem like the type of person that would even listen. America doesn't give a fuck about you and neither do I.

[00Ampersand]

If it makes a difference sawleaf, I don't give a fuck about crackbaby either *sings: Crack baby...don't come back!...crack baby...break your back!...crack baby...don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more...hit the road jack!*
~007~

[sawleaf]

If it makes a difference sawleaf, I don't give a fuck about crackbaby either *sings: Crack baby...don't come back!...crack baby...break your back!...crack baby...don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more...hit the road jack!*
~007~

I don't think you can ever beat the hilarity of this post :p

[Mrs PotatoHead]

As anti_american as crackbabies post was, there is an element of truth to how people sometimes feel. :eek:

If you go around wanting people to take notice of how much power you have all the time, then you have to accept the criticism that comes with it. Yes America is "successful" in many ways (as someone pointed out in an earlier thread) but at whose expense and don't people who are negatively affected by this "success" have the right to express their opinions on the whole matter or is that only for the priviledged people who live within or by the rules of the US.

[Mrs PotatoHead]

Just thought I'd add Australians love to cut down tall poppies, it's like our national right (being of convict heritage an all). We believe the tall ones hog all the food, water and sunshine and make us look short. Once upon a time we use to go around slagging Poms now we have the Yanks.

Mwhahahaha:D

[RESiNATE]

Once upon a time we use to go around slagging Poms now we have the Yanks.

Mwhahahaha:D

Does that mean that you Aussies like us Poms now?


..Or, is that asking too much still..;)

lol

Geez, it has to be a sad state of affairs, when a nation (in this case the USA) is judged upon the actions of a few misdirected people in positions of power. It only demonstrates a lack of intelligence, when people 'tar all with the same brush'. And one gets the feeling that no amount of explaination will change that person's view of things.

I don't like what the US government are portraying Americans to be, but I don't dislike Americans all.
I don't like how certain factions are portraying their Islamic failth, but I'm not so dumb as to think that all Muslims are people who go around cutting peoples heads off.
Just as I don't think that all black people are 'gangsta rappers' who are only interested in drive-by-shootings'.
The sterotypical portrayal of people can be apllied to ALL walks of life.
I choose to 'see for myself', rather than pass judgement by consensus.

If people actually stopped, and thought about how THEY think about a particular subject matter, rather than rely on being 'told' what to think by the media and by other people's misguided opinions, then maybe we can get back to being the civilised race of beings that we so often claim to be.

[maryjanemama]

Crackbaby...the SN says it all! :)

PS It's not easy to be rulers of the world, but us "trash" are doing a fine job! Hahahahaha! :D

[SmokeyPotter]

Crackbaby...

Yeah, I was born in America, so I guess that makes me American

As much as I should have been offended by your post, I really wasn't, there was actually a lot of truth to it. I see the kind of things you mentioned and it pisses me off too: Overweight people EVERYWHERE, American "Culture" (or lack thereof), Ridiculous MASSIVE Gas Guzzling SUVs. Redneck Gun Wielding Idiots

I find myself finding things I hate about this place all the time. You really shouldn't assume we're all inbred idiots( although there are plenty of them)

The only reason I'm still here is because I'm just kinda stuck here. Once I finish college and start making films, I'm planning on moving to Denmark.

I always felt as if I was a European trapped in an American's body.

p.s. the included pic is one of the main reasons I have to get out of here!! hehe

[maryjanemama]

SmokeyPotter, I find it even funnier that you can't wait to leave but you're sig is by one of the greatest Americans to ever live. :rolleyes:

You wanna leave? Say hello to Mary's big black boot kicking you in the ass...hopefully it will be enough force to launch you over the Atlantic. :)

[SmokeyPotter]

I don't hate america. I just don't like what it's become since the days of Ben Franklin.

And chill out too... your Negative Vibes are not necessary. I thought this was a marijuana forum?

I knew someone would eventually respond with some kinda "If you don't it here, get the hell out!"

heh

[notanovice]

live by your sig schmokey

[GHoSToKeR]

america isnt

[SmokeyPotter]

live by your sig schmokey

What do you mean? It's really not something that you can live by :confused:

I just think it applies perfectly in America these days. For example citizens that actually support things like "The Patriot Act" ...come on, you've got to be kidding me. My rights are all I have... no one can take that away from me.

[notanovice]

you are giving up liberty for temporary security by moving to denmark.

[00Ampersand]

I understand you smokey :)...nice pic, btw :P



you are giving up liberty for temporary security by moving to denmark.

How exactly? :confused: If he wants to live there, then so be it. It's not like Denmark's a prison-country lol...denmark has just as much liberty as the US, if not more so
~007~

[sawleaf]

Oh I know America is far from perfect and we are very fucked up in a lot of ways, but don't confuse the government with the people. I am just tired of people stereotyping Americans. There is more diversity in the US than in most other countries around the world. :)

[F L E S H]

Oh I know America is far from perfect and we are very fucked up in a lot of ways, but don't confuse the government with the people. I am just tired of people stereotyping Americans. There is more diversity in the US than in most other countries around the world. :)

I have to disagree.

Immigrants who arrive in the US absolutely HAVE to become good little americans, i.e. imitate how the white people live/eat/work/talk/etc... Eventually, everyone loses their heritage, the second generation often doesn't speak one word of their parents' mother tongue. I guess when you call it a melting pot, you mean it literally.

To me, this is the number 1 difference between Canada and the US. In Canada, people are welcome to keep their heritage. Heck, I know tons of people who moved to Canada from Italy in the 1960s and still get by using only a few words of french and english, speaking mostly italian. If you go to a big city, Montreal/Toronto/Vancouver, you are exposed to so many different cultures and languages. THAT is diversity.

That being said, I don't like it at all when people say all americans are this or that, because generalizations are never true. Most of my problems with the US are with the government, not the people, since it's the government that misleads people into believing what they're told to believe. Leave the people alone!

[Kombucha]

America has a lot of problems, one of it's biggest is an extreme lack of humility and an excess of greed. Unfortunately Americans seem to be constantly indoctrinated about how great America is from a very early age. They are so busy being told how free they are they fail to notice how they are in many ways one of the least free countries in Western society. I'm not aiming to offend any Americans here, I just find many aspects of America incredibly irritating, such as their arrogance and failure to do things like cut CO2 production.

[SmokeyPotter]

I want to move to Denmark because it's a beautiful country that could foster to my artistic talents. There are some thing's in America that I absolutley deplore. Like I said before: the Massive SUV "Get the hell outta my way, cause I have a huge truck" Mentality. Narrowmindedness that I see everywhere, everyday. The Greedy "Eat-All-You can, because you can" Attitude. Notice that none of these things have anything to do with me Hating America in any way. I just hate a lot of things that happen here. I am sure that if I move to Europe I'll be able to live a life of liberty just as well as in the USA. I just want to get away from all these social factors that shake me at my moral footings. I'm not saying Europe is some kind of Utopia. Just that I feel that I'd be able to live the life that I wanted to there.

Do any of you have a problem with this?

[Kombucha]

Sounds like a good plan to me. You should go to the Netherlands, where a certain something is legal.

[SmokeyPotter]

hehe, it's only a train ride away my friend :D

[maryjanemama]

Yeah, that's exactly right, if you don't like it, leave. Nobody's asking you to stay. It has nothing to do with my big truck... No bad vibes, just stating the obvious. Why wait until college is over? I'm sure Denmark has a college you can go to.

[Kombucha]

Leaving isn't the solution to everything. To be honest as far as I'm concerned America can do what it wants with itself I just don't want it screwing everything else up.

[mycomaster]

America might have it's problem's but it is still the best country runnin. At least we're armed. come get some!!

[mycomaster]

you've obviously come to a major city on the east or west coast of america!!!

[RESiNATE]

I'm an Octopus, and I am more armed than you!

[sawleaf]

The thing I find is that a lot of people are not openminded. This is about seeing things from other people's perspectives and we all seem to be guilty of being a bit closeminded here it seems. Every country I have traveled to has been great! It is because we are so different that makes our countries so special. Who is to say what is right and what is wrong with a countries culture and government? It pretty much all comes down to your opinion and what you are looking for. America is a great country, but not any better than any other country. It has it's pros and cons just like any other country does. What one likes here may be what another person hates.

[Kombucha]

Well said sawleaf, I don't mind America for most things, I just don't like the Americans who are less like you and don't realise that America is just one country out of hundreds, it is better in some ways, worse in others, and if it is indeed the most powerful country in the world, it should take some responsibility for the world.

As Peter Parker said, "With great power comes great responsibility"

[kr1Nx01]

yeah.... but peter parker is a comic-book character.

[F L E S H]

The thing I find is that a lot of people are not openminded. This is about seeing things from other people's perspectives and we all seem to be guilty of being a bit closeminded here it seems. Every country I have traveled to has been great! It is because we are so different that makes our countries so special. Who is to say what is right and what is wrong with a countries culture and government? It pretty much all comes down to your opinion and what you are looking for. America is a great country, but not any better than any other country. It has it's pros and cons just like any other country does. What one likes here may be what another person hates.

That might be one of the smartest things I've heard an American say... :D

just kidding :D

I couldn't agree with you more, Sawleaf

[Kombucha]

yeah.... but peter parker is a comic-book character.

Yeah I know but it still makes sense.

[Imotep]

sawleaf is one of the smarter americans. :)

[maryjanemama]

Yeah, the Brits and Australians know best...:rolleyes: Let's see some credentials before you all go nominating the smartest American. You're forgetting Sawleaf fell for Lola!
















Just kidding, Sawleaf, you know I am, just had to get that in there one last time. SAWLEAF FOR PRESIDENT!!!! :p

[sawleaf]

Hell no MJM, I fell for someone else that she was pretending to be. You'd have to be crazy to actually want to be the president. Who would actually want that much stress and responsibility?

[sawleaf]

More people need to travel overseas. People have good and bad lives everywhere. Traveling just opens you eyes and mind. :)

[peji]

Glad for u Saw,,,just thank ur lucky stars now ur probably one of the thousands that found out....

[RESiNATE]

It was Uncle Ben, who said "with great power comes great responsibility", not Peter Parker!

They had to 'kill-off' Uncle Ben, because he wanted to persue his dream of making rice.

One man's holiday, is another man's way of life.

[Mrs PotatoHead]

you are giving up liberty for temporary security by moving to denmark.

Is the States the only place offering liberty is it?

[Mrs PotatoHead]

Oh I know America is far from perfect and we are very fucked up in a lot of ways, but don't confuse the government with the people. I am just tired of people stereotyping Americans. There is more diversity in the US than in most other countries around the world. :)

I have met very nice Americans and I am sorry for not clarifying that I mean the government. I was joking with the whole Yanks and Poms thing.

sorry again

[maryjanemama]

I have met very nice Americans and I am sorry for not clarifying that I mean the government. I was joking with the whole Yanks and Poms thing.

sorry again
I was only joking, too, Saw. PRINCESSBLUEYEZ FOR PRESIDENT!!! :p

Everybody here is always sorry, don't be sorry. It's your opinion and ,yes, our American president is a "wanker" as the British would say.

[Kombucha]

Everybody here is always sorry, don't be sorry. It's your opinion and ,yes, our American president is a "wanker" as the British would say.

Lol. I've got some more words that the British use for him:

Tosser, twat, bastard, git, moron, idiot, cunt, idiot, prat, imbecile etc...



It was Uncle Ben, who said "with great power comes great responsibility", not Peter Parker!

Sorry. I think Peter Parker did say it at one point, even if Uncle Ben said it first.

[GHoSToKeR]

Sorry. I think Peter Parker did say it at one point, even if Uncle Ben said it first.
yeah he did, I watched the film the other night lol

[Imotep]

jihad, im gettin mad, and theres no fuel left for the pilgrims.

[Mrs PotatoHead]

Everybody here is always sorry, don't be sorry. It's your opinion and ,yes, our American president is a "wanker" as the British would say. [/color]

I am not sorry for my opinions, just sorry that people misinterpret them.

I don't even think Bush's hand wants him and that's why he is so cosy with Australian Prime Minister. John Howard would gladly do it for him.

[maryjanemama]

[QUOTE=Mrs PotatoHead

I don't even think Bush's hand wants him and that's why he is so cosy with Australian Prime Minister. John Howard would gladly do it for him.[/QUOTE]

Hahaha

[beatpixie]

Say anything you wan't about Canada or the U.S..

But don't ever say anything bad about HOCKEY. It's The fastest hardest hitting sport on the face of the earth. And not one of your wanker rugby players would stand a chance in a bout with any of our tough guy's.
You limy's are just jelous go to a dam dentist that smile is scarring me
________________


~ Um, as of a few days ago, hockey in this country , as far as the NHL is dead :) SO there goes that point.
I say bring on the UK administration, with Bush in office we are doomed. It could not be any worse ...EVER. And it would be nice to have some proper english around here.

__

[Dick Justice]

Oh crap.

I think my sig makes my views pretty clear, so I won't be repetitive, but I think I have to say something to all the Americans who are responding to this with stuff like "we kicked your asses 200 years ago" or "the US army could wreck the Brits" or any of that:




THAT IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF LAME SHIT THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD HATES US FOR. DON'T YOU GET IT?!




I didn't like the joke. It depressed the hell out of me. But it was a joke, and I can handle that. What I can't handle is seeing the troops march in to fill the machismo-complex American stereotype.

Please. Our administration covers all the hate-trafficking. Let our country implode in peace.

[4252]

Red Dwarf is terrific. Is it still on? Haven't seen it since season (#8?) over here (U.S.) What about Dr. Who?

42

[juggalo420]

tony blaire is president bush's bitch. how about we send bush over to england and you guys can have fun dealing with 2 sadists.

[juggalo420]

also remember not all americans a red necks, waiting for jesus to come back and carry them off to heaven. most of the problems we have in america is coming from ignorant fucks from the south (i know not all southeners are rednecks but you have a higher percentage compared to other parts of the country). these are the guys who hate gays even though they never met one, same with hating arabs and other races, they have flags all over the place (a good percent are confederate), they have some type of brain damage that doesnt allow them to see america isnt right all the time and if some one disagrees w/ the country there terrorists, cant understand science so they protest outside abortion clinincs and think evolution isnt proven.

long live new england, rest of the north east, states around the great lakes, and the west coast. we should let the south cecede, we maybe still called american each but in name only, not in culture.

[Looker]

I SEE TALENT