I have essentially become a medical user...

[EbelEyes]

I used to get this strange level of consciousness...

My thoughts would begin to race

I would feel energized

It felt like I was going insane, but I was perfectly normal.

These attacks in the beginning would be somewhat a rare occurance, and where not that long. Then they started happening more, and each one was more intense and longer than the last.

Then I got my new job, so I have Cannabis all the time.

Now they don't happen anymore...

[BlueCat]

Ummm...I don't understand your post....were you having anxiety attacks? Are you saying you are a medical user now and that doesn't happen and what is your new job how is it you have cannabis all the time?

:confused:

[EbelEyes]

During these "episodes" (which I'm not sure what they are), it would feel like I was going to go insane at any moment. And my thoughts flowed really fast, and I felt energized.

I got a new job = money = Cannabis.

I have Cannabis all the time now, which means I'm smoking every night.

Since I started doing this I haven't had an "episode".

*edit*

just for the record medical Marijuana is illegal here.

[birdgirl73]

What state do you live in, EbelEyes? Glad you can get it legally. And I'm glad it helps.

[BlueCat]

Well I am glad it is working for you.

So you are saying it helps you to slow down your thinking?

I am always interested to hear how marijuana helps others.

Its a good thing :)

[birdgirl73]

That would make a funny Saturday Night Live sketch--Martha Stewart discussing cananbis uses/applications/recipes, stoned out of her gourd. "Weed. It's a good thing."

[BlueCat]

HAHAHAHA that would be so funny...

I really like Martha Stewart. :)

[EbelEyes]

Correction birdgirl, I can't get it legally.

I'm in ND (its not that bad I guess, and no one talks like the movie "Fargo"" here lol), and its not a medical Marijuana state. :(

It prevents the "episodes" from happening completely.

As for the "slowing my thoughts down" part, that is helping with my depression. Cannabis allows me to really get into my head, and I wouldn't be the same without it.

Does anybody have any clue as to what might be wrong with me?

I'm off to take a shower, any input would be most appreciated.

I'll describe in full detail how my last "episode" went to give you a better picture.

[birdgirl73]

Sorry, Ebel, I was reading too quickly. I did think you'd said "legal," and I see clearly that you didn't. My apologies.

I'll be eager to read your descrition of your "episode." I've got to go take care of some chores, but I'll be back online later. You sure it wasn't anxiety or stress affecting you?

[orangeman]

Sounds like you're just finally accepting the effects of marijuana or something lol. Anyways I'm going to type the reply I had in mind when I read the title of this thread. I think of my self of half and half now with recreational and medical use. I use marijuana for pain now as I have noticed literally all my pains seem to go away when I'm high. Of course they come back when I sober up but when I just don't feel like feeling the pain or what ever that's going on with me any more I just smoke some marijuana. Also marijuana has helped me with my appetite. I usually can't even finish a full meal.

[Purple Banana]

I've had chronic pain for a few years now; if someone pokes me at moderate pressure, it feels like I've been punched in a bruised spot for like 5 minutes. Not to mention, my back always hurts.

But now that I smoke, it's alleviated a lot of pain, even when I'm sober. Much better than those shitty low dosage addictive narcotics...

[EbelEyes]

I'm tired, and really sick so I'm going to sleep. I'll describe my "episode" when I wake up.

Thanks for the replies.

I look forward to continuing this conversation.

Peace and Love

[BlueCat]

I've had chronic pain for a few years now; if someone pokes me at moderate pressure, it feels like I've been punched in a bruised spot for like 5 minutes. Not to mention, my back always hurts.

But now that I smoke, it's alleviated a lot of pain, even when I'm sober. Much better than those shitty low dosage addictive narcotics...

Do you have really sore pressure points? Have you ever read about Fibromyalgia?

I know what you are saying about the narcotics, I hate them. It is such a shame the only medicine that works is illegal. :(

[mrdevious]

EbelEyes, do you find the episodes are triggered when you get too physically hot, or when you're just going to sleep or waking up? or when you wake up in the middle of the night?

[EbelEyes]

Actually, MrDevious, they've never been triggered by things like that.

The last time it was triggered by a vivid tougth about mutilating my arm. Then the energy came on first, which was followed by the fast thougths. My thoughts during these "episodes" are usually self degrading. My thoughts say in my head "Fuck you, you suck, I hope you die" etc. Its like all the hate that I have for myself all explodes at the same time. I shook a little bit, well not really, more like twitch. I was hitting myself and scratching myself. This continues for the next 20 or so minutes, then I cried quietly for about 10 minutes.

And that was the last one I had.

*I hate it when I spell things wrong. damn 5 minute edit time*

[Matt the Funk]

I kinda get what you are saying, they give medical marijuana to bi-polar people. I use it medically to slow down my thoughts and releave anxiety. It also helps with depression and such. I can't tell if you are bi-polar, but shit like that happens to me when I feel depressed, it's suppossedly called a mixed episode, but it normally lasts a long time, anyways I think it's good you are smoking.

[Captain Hanks]

Ebel is tripping me out.. hard.

[MastaChronic]

it sounds like maybe you have bi-polar. i find it helps me with mine, and when i turn 18 im going to try and get mmj for it.

[EbelEyes]

I don't think I have bi-polar.

But I don't really know.

I'm not even sure whats wrong with me.

Probably a lot of things

[MastaChronic]

the only way to be sure is to talk to a shrink for a while.
but if they ever try to prescribe you anything for it, refuse straight up.
their "cures" dont really work, they just mask the symptoms by completely killing your emotions.
feeling sad is a lot better than not feeling anything at all

[EbelEyes]

I know what you mean MastaChronic.

I refuse to take pills from them.

They do nothing except kill your personality.

[birdgirl73]

Ebel, it sounds like it could be a lot of things, from depression/anxiety to bipolar or OCD, and really the only one who can accurately help you decide what the problem is is a clinical psychologist/counselor or psychiatrist. Someone who is an expert psychological diagnostician. Just because someone helps you identify the problem, however, doesn't mean you have to take meds. And, for that matter, all the meds they prescribe don't necessarily take your personality away. Some of them help folks feel a lot better.

[Trip06]

I know someone who is suffering from what seems like the same thing your talkn about. He was a little depressed all his life...deffinetly medical, He used to be on anti depressents for years. Idk but I think he stopped taking them a few years back. Anyways He was smokn alot of weed for a vary long time and It seemed like it helped him and was something he really liked, But he quit that to and got paranoia,anxiety, and panic attacks. He didnt like people seeing him weak either it just set him off more.