Family Matters - kid finds stash

[wicked_retard]

First of all, I'm not the dad from the "fridge in the garage" thread.

Ok, so, as my name implies, I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I smoke once or twice a week, I used to enjoy it more, but also weed helps me with a chronic pain condition. I kept my stash in my home office, in a not so hidden place and my kid obviously found it. It's been made lighter by several grams. He's 15. I found a missing bud in his room, in a not so hidden place. (Insert the "Apple does't fall far from the tree" saying).

He doesn't know I know yet, and I am bent up about this. My wife doesn't know I have it which complicates the matter, and although I would prefer he doesn't smoke it, I really don't mind him smoking. I was that age when I started. I just don't like the stealing, lying, and he has denied smoking at all, but he's come home obviously blazed.

Help me with a 15 year old's perspective. How would you handle this if it were your kid? I need to be a grown-up but at the same time, realistic. I think I've been a decent parent, but now ...

I need to approach him about this. I want to be taken seriously. 15 is young, and I believe it should be limited, but I have lost all credibility. sigh.

What do you think?

[ToDrunkToFish]

Well back in the day when I first started smokin I would never tell my dad because id thought he'd beat my ass.

I guess if my dad told me then he was cool about it back in the day I wouldnt of minded or talked about it more. I dunno if you remember when you started but didnt you really not want your parents to know at all?

Even still I hate bringin up the weed subject with my dad even though he knows I do it. Its just a thing I guess.

And tell him straight up you know. How you found that bud and your bad was pinched. He'll only dig himself deeper. Tell him youll keep it between you two and your wife doesnt needa know. Which works in your favor as well.

[Nochowderforyou]

I can't really help you much as I don't have any kids.

Maybe just let him know hey, I'm not stupid, I was 15 once, I know what you're up to. Hide your stash in a locked drawer to keep it safe.

When my dad caught me smoking reefer he said, "I can't give you shit for something I used to do. I don't mind if you smoke pot, but if I ever catch you smoking crack, I'm going to kick your ass"

I don't know, it might help. Sorry I can't help you out further. Good luck! :thumbsup:

[slipknotpsycho]

me and my bros would always lie to my dad about smoking, until he came and blazed up with us once, i guess it showed us that he wasn't really just trying to get us to incriminate ourselves he just really wanted to know the truth... i would reccomend that, but that also sends off the wrong message... sometimes atleast... so i don't know what to tell you... i know if you're to get him to admit to it, he's got to feel comfterable talking about it, and that he won't just be setting himself up for trouble...

hard situation really....

as far as limitations go, i think it's fair enough to say you'll let him get away with it as long as he keeps good grades in school, doesn't do it before school or something (although we both know that its' probably going to happen one way or another) just make sure he knows an education is way more important than sparking up and kicking back... sparking up should be reserved for after you've busted your ass and deserve to get to kick back :thumbsup:

[wayoftheleaf]

Dude my dad doesn't care if i smoke. and my mom just doesn't want me to buy it. So she gives me free weed. I always try to give her money for it but she wont let me. she gives me about 5 grams of some high quality mids a week. Offer to sell it to him for cheaper than hed get on the street so he wont risk getting busted. smoke it with him once a week/month. Try to be as cool about it as you can. But while doing this also try and enforce how it is a natural herb and he shouldn't even experiment with man made shit.

[MacWQ33]

Make sure he knows this.......

sparking up should be reserved for after you've busted your ass and deserve to get to kick back

And make sure he knows this too.....
"I can't give you shit for something I used to do. I don't mind if you smoke pot, but if I ever catch you smoking crack, I'm going to kick your ass"

[wicked_retard]

Starting to feel better. I really appreciate the answers. A lot of good stuff. He'll be coming home from school soon. Planning on doing it right away.

[zigger]

Dont threaten him.
Im 17 my dad doesnt know because i know he didnt.
Tell him not to get caught because its illegal.
And hook him up with a connection to get bud, it would be a good way to relate, instead of him risking to find a dealer.
Tell him that he needs his own money if he wants to buy and your not gonna support it because you need the money for your own bud.

[Inferius]

Make sure to scare him a little too.
Remind him of the seriousness of the law,
that he should never smoke where it's unsafe and never be caught with it,
and one very important thing that most parents seem to miss:
Just because you both smoke cannabis, does not mean other drugs are ok as well.
You NEED to explain to him that cannabis is relatively safe, but about 95 percent of all other drugs are unsafe, or very very very unsafe.
Tell him not to be afraid to talk to you about anything.
I was 15 once too, blah blah blah, please don't lie or steal, be direct and honest and respectful and I will be as well, and maybe when you get older, we can do this together sometime.
Hope it goes well.
Try not to be too intimidating.

[PaRaNoIa]

First of all, I'm not the dad from the "fridge in the garage" thread.

Ok, so, as my name implies, I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I smoke once or twice a week, I used to enjoy it more, but also weed helps me with a chronic pain condition. I kept my stash in my home office, in a not so hidden place and my kid obviously found it. It's been made lighter by several grams. He's 15. I found a missing bud in his room, in a not so hidden place. (Insert the "Apple does't fall far from the tree" saying).

He doesn't know I know yet, and I am bent up about this. My wife doesn't know I have it which complicates the matter, and although I would prefer he doesn't smoke it, I really don't mind him smoking. I was that age when I started. I just don't like the stealing, lying, and he has denied smoking at all, but he's come home obviously blazed.

Help me with a 15 year old's perspective. How would you handle this if it were your kid? I need to be a grown-up but at the same time, realistic. I think I've been a decent parent, but now ...

I need to approach him about this. I want to be taken seriously. 15 is young, and I believe it should be limited, but I have lost all credibility. sigh.

What do you think?

Dude... If my kid smoked, I would be pissed.. I'm only 18, and I don't have a kid, but still..


I would tell him to think twice, but the kid would probably NOT think twice...




My mom busted me, and asked me nicely if I would stop, I said no.

My mom got angry, and TOLD me to stop, I said no.

My mom tried to bribe me with a car, I said no.



There is relatively NOTHING that'll make me stop..





You could try to postpone it for a year or two, by saying you'll teach him to grow when he's 16 or 17 .. Maybe even as late as 18.. But he'll probably just smoke anyway..

There is really nothing you can do.. Grounding him will only make him say "I HATE YOU" lol, and cutting his allowence might make him steal or worse, get a job..:p lol


Anywhoo.. I'm out of options..:)

[napolitana869]

Let us know how it turned out!

Make sure he knows that he can talk to you about anything- and not get in trouble for telling the truth. Kids will be honest if they know its safe to be. But also let him know that stealing is not the way to go.

[Fan o KmK]

first of all, howd you know about the fridge in the garage thread lol.

me being 16 and having been in a similar situation myself, i think im somewhat qualified to help you out.

i was caught when i was 14 years old (well not really caught, narked) and it crushed my mom. she felt like a failure for raising a stoner (i woudlnt even consider myself a "stoner"). i told her i would stop but of course i didnt. why would you stop something that you enjoy just as much as reading or exercising? sure its illegal but almost everyone on this forum knows the reasons are bullshit and for someone to make a natural plant that grows in this environment illegal is also bullshit.

we dont know you, and dont know your son, but if hes like most kids, i dont think hes going to stop, especially if hes educated on the subject. theres two scenario's that could happen:

1. hes really just experimenting, blazed, liked it and is done with it now.
2. he likes it and isnt going to stop.

whichever option, its important that you explain to him and he understands that you use marijuana for medicinal purposes and even though you cant really tell him to stop, you let him know that being the adult you think 15 is much too young to be smoking. (which i believe it is).

sorry for the rambling, i hoped that helped somehow. but bottom line, talk to him. make sure you guys are on the same page. dont threaten him wih grounding or w/e because that will cause him to rebel.

this is a tough situation for everyone but communication is best at this point, let us know what happened by the way.

[slipknotpsycho]

i bet you 90% of those who say such and such age is too young to be smoking, started smoking at that age themselves... if not younger.

[Inferius]

i bet you 90% of those who say such and such age is too young to be smoking, started smoking at that age themselves... if not younger.

Prolly true.
But the simple proof is that the majority of teenagers are idiots.
And they end up perfectly demonstrating marijuana stereotypes.

[AlwaysBlazed]

I'm in the same situation but reverse. Sometimes I steal buds from my dad when he leaves it out, but he smokes it every day so he always has alot and he has much more money than me. He knows I take it and doesn't really talk to me about it, he also knows I blaze alot and it doesn't bother him, so idk. As for my son i'd say about 15 is right. I'd teach my son responsible pot use at that age so if he does do it he doesn't turn into one of those kids who fail school and get in trouble with the law on a daily basis.

Added: And I wouldn't let him drink until he moves out. I don't want that shit in my house. Same with chemical drugs and such. Big no no.

[partyguy420]

use my dads words... "hey son, my dealer is out, i need a dub, can you hook me up?" or the way he told my sister... hey marry christmas(hands bong with a freash bowl packed up) take a hit and pass that shit.

[partyguy420]

but ground him for lieing and stealing

[Phire210]

I'm seventeen and my advice would be simply just to confront him about it and say that you know he's been in your stash, and let him know that you're okay with him smoking as long as he keeps his stuff straight, grades and what not, and doesn't pinch your bag. I'd say sometime when the wife is out and maybe when he's 17 or 18 you should smoke with him, a lot of my friends dad's smoke and smoke with them and lets just say kids find nothing cooler than smoking with their dads. Make sure to lay down some guide lines for him, and make sure he's not stupid about it. Think about it this way... If you give him a safe place to smoke at home, he has less of a chance getting in trouble with the law.

[wicked_retard]

Wow. really good, helpful stuff.

It went really well. I want to thank everyone for their considerate answers. When I have time, I will give the long version of what happened. I'm feeling pretty good about it and I think he is too. We're not sparking anything up yet, maybe down the road. Again thanks, and I'll be back.

[yabatab]

Damn, I thought this was about a TV show at first and I'm still not
sure if it is or isnt.

[phoenix]

Confront him, tell him you're cool with it, and lay down some ground rules.

Coming from a kid who's parents are pretty much totally against it...it might sound like your kid won't follow your rules of when to smoke, but if my parents let me, I'd have only done it when they said. G'luck man.

[herostyle]

Glad it went well.

[bavet]

What I think would be cool is.. Get a nice joint rolled up, then when the wife isn't around go sit next to the kid put the joint on the table in front of him and say seriously "we gotta talk" let him sweat a few seconds. Then smile and say "lets smoke one before mom comes home" hehe then procced and while you are tell him how you feel about it and want him to be able to be open and honest with you about everything. wouldn't you rather know where and what hes up to, then have him off who knows where with who knows who. Be a cool dad, you'll be a hero:):dance: :rasta:

[Frivolous248]

What I think would be cool is.. Get a nice joint rolled up, then when the wife isn't around go sit next to the kid put the joint on the table in front of him and say seriously "we gotta talk" let him sweat a few seconds. Then smile and say "lets smoke one before mom comes home" hehe then procced and while you are tell him how you feel about it and want him to be able to be open and honest with you about everything. wouldn't you rather know where and what hes up to, then have him off who knows where with who knows who. Be a cool dad, you'll be a hero:):dance: :rasta:

That, or put the joint on the table and if the kid says "thats not mine!" then you'd be like "Haha, I know. Its mine, you wanna' blaze or what?"

[phoenix]

Haha, that'd be sweet.

I was pretty disapointed when I realized you had already talked to him before I posted...lol.

Spark one up with him eventually..for all the kids like me that will never have the opportunity. :)

[Ruairi.X]

^agree; hand him the pipe or what ever tool you use to your kid next time your smoking

as from being 20 and have smoked with my relatives... you develope a whole new sense of bonging.. bonding

[phoenix]

Smoked with my cuz once, it wasn't that great. It was kind of a sneaky smoke downstairs, and he was on the phone and shit. I want to have a proper sesh with him one day.

[thouragood jankins]

hey im 15 and i used to take my dads stash all the time.. my point of view... dont get mad at him, and dont tell the wife. hah but you know tell him you notice it and its ok he does it and youd do it with him tell him though that if you do this and he gets in trouble... outside of you and him doing it means trouble... basically do it with him around you too keep him out of trouble from the cops, or even with your wife...

[thouragood jankins]

and yea it will develop alot stonger of a relationship with your son.. just keep it on the downlow tell him not to tell his friends or anything and you wont have to worry about anyone finding out...

[Cooler Then Jesus]

i AM 15, and heres my advice.
the kids at his school or w/e probobly overcharge for pot, and pinch the sack, its just so mutch eisier to light up on dads stash, i admit, ive stolen pot from ym dad, and my mom doesnt know either of us smoke. basically sam situation your in. just let him know that you know he pinched your sack, smoke with him every now and then, yah know, he gets an A+ on his math paper, why not give him a bud? there is so many ways to do it, not to mention he wont steal from you again after you confront him.
basically, my dad said...
"i smoke, you smoke, you know that, lets not lie to eachother. i will help you in anyway i can, i dont really have a problem with you smoking, i dont really condone it, but yah know i started smoking at your age too, but its not an excuse to steal. i have no problem giving you bud now and then, but you are going to have to earn it."

me "okay dad i am sorry i will not steal from you anymore, im glad you can understand where i am coming from"

dad pulls a joint he had in his ear hidden under neath his hair, and then smokes it with me, i couldnt believe it, it felt weird at firs but now its all good, and mom still doesnt know (SHHHHH!!!)

just recently i came home with my report card (2.0 gpa, raised it from a .64 gpa, so he was happy) and my dad gave me about .5 gram. i was so happy, i went and smoked, etc. and every now and then hell give me a bud just cause he wants to, maybe i did the dishes, or had been really nice to my mom, etc. it really is great.
just dont put your self in the position where it could end up being a power struggle and him and you argunin in front of mom, yah know how it goes, dont want it to end up like
"YOU SMOKE POT!!!"
"YOU SMOKE POT TOO!!"
"YOUR A HYPOCRITE!"
"GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

because thats noe fun and it could hurt your relation ship with him and make it hard on the both of you..
its always good to have someone to tell me "moms coming home and it reeks like dank in here, better change your shirt, ill get the frebreeze"

[AlwaysBlazed]

Yeah you should smoke with your son, I wish my dad would smoke with me. He says I need to wait until im 18 until he will fully accept it to the point of blazin with me and sharin his stash and stuff. Most of my $$ also comes from them and I wouldn't be able to buy through him because they think im spending money on video games and clothes =P

[Pipe Dreams]

OH NOES! Youre leaving us hangin with the story man!

[Kaze420]

also, remember to make sure it stays between you two about this. i know kids who kaze with their paretns and talk about it at school. no. leave it between u two so friends parents dont become aware of the situation

[birdgirl73]

I liked what Phoenix said a lot. And that's what I'd have done. Confront him. Be honest about both the pros and cons. Lay down some fairly restrictive ground rules, both about smoking and being discreet. Then be ready to enforce those rules.

Any self-respecting, attitudinal 15-year-old will see what his dad does and immediately justify to himself that he's entitled to do the same thing. That's when he needs an attitude adjustment and another review of those ground rules, along with a reminder that kids still have fewer rights, whether they like it or not. (Mine never liked it at all.)

I'm guessing you made issue of the fact that he lied and sneaked around and stole, right? Those, to me, are the far more troublesome issues here. . . .

[The_Sellout]

That, or put the joint on the table and if the kid says "thats not mine!" then you'd be like "Haha, I know. Its mine, you wanna' blaze or what?"

Haha! I love this Idea.

[smoke it]

but ground him for lieing and stealing

wat he said

[fasterspider]

I have no kids but believe that honesty is the only way to go. Be blunt or brutal but, be honest. Tell him what is up and the consequenses for boosting anymore of your stash.
If it was me, I would say "smoke your weed but don't smoke mine or I will break your fingers. But do not let anyone know that I know you smoke or I will take away your privilage until you are old enough by law {18} to do as you will."

[Nochowderforyou]

Wow. really good, helpful stuff.

It went really well. I want to thank everyone for their considerate answers. When I have time, I will give the long version of what happened. I'm feeling pretty good about it and I think he is too. We're not sparking anything up yet, maybe down the road. Again thanks, and I'll be back.

Glad to hear things went smoothly. :thumbsup:

[EciRonTog]

Dude blaze up with your son and tell him it's okay but that it's not cool to steal from someone else's stash and that he should try to hit you up with a nug or two from his next bag.

[crudemood]

I think what you shoulld do, when the opportunity arises, that you drop a hint that smoking weed is okay and that you are totally cool with it. of course without letting him know that you know he smokes. your son will probably come around and tell you. i mean i when my dad said its he's done it with his friends, i totally told him i smoked. he didnt mind at all.
he's probably just scared he'll get punished or something.
id just casually drop that i dont mind weed and that smoking it responsibly is okay. he'll fess up.

[tootsie roll]

Dude my dad doesn't care if i smoke. and my mom just doesn't want me to buy it. So she gives me free weed. I always try to give her money for it but she wont let me. she gives me about 5 grams of some high quality mids a week. Offer to sell it to him for cheaper than hed get on the street so he wont risk getting busted. smoke it with him once a week/month. Try to be as cool about it as you can. But while doing this also try and enforce how it is a natural herb and he shouldn't even experiment with man made shit.

Ok, I'm gonna butt in here for a quick minute and I hope you won't take this in a bad way. I'm only trying to help.
I've read many of your posts and you talk waaaaay too much about what your mom does for you. If you are under 18 and if your posts are read by "authority", a whole mess of bad shit could possibly happen in your life.
This is a public board. Anybody and everybody could be here and you should keep yourself safe.
Some things are best kept to yourself, kwim?

Yeah, I'm "old" and sometimes just get momlike.

[TheSmokingMonkey]

Tell the truth:

You're not upset about the weed.
You're upset about the lying and stealing.

Maybe you can just say that.
I wouldn't punish him, just have a talk, and see how it goes in the future.

You might have to come clean with your wife though.

[TheSmokingMonkey]

dude, why was this in my unread thing? this is majorly old.