Make a wish thread

[dryst]

u ever read the monkeys paw where the guy makes a wish but everytime he does it grants him the wish but somehow fucks things up?
i think one of em was he wished for $200 and his son dies at work and the company gives him a severance pay of $200...

ok so this is how the game works,
u make a wish and the next person grants it but somehow messes it up and then they to make a wish for the next person to mess up, and so on and so on..

ill start
i wish i had a monkey

[Duckky]

You geta monkey but the monkey has to crawl out of your ass to get to the real world! hahaha.
ok i wish i had the biggest taco in the world

[dryst]

u get it but the meat has been posioned with anthrax

i wish i ruled the world

[BobBong]

I wish everyone would join the chat.

[potsmokingnome]

you get the biggest taco in the world but the meat is rotten and causes explosive diaherria!

I wish I had a pound of weed!

[iwantFUEGO]

haha this is awesome!! great one!

you can have the biggest taco but they make the sour cream by letting 100 monkeys run into it and jerk off all over.

i wish i had 200 dollars ;)

[4gan2ja0]

everyone joins the chat but is instantly killed by an e-terrorist

i wish i had a pound of cannabis

[dryst]

u get ur pound, but just beofre u smoke it u find its been eaten by some sort of bug :p

i wish i had a horse

[The Colonel]

you really dont want a horse.

[potsmokingnome]

u turn into a horse but as soon as u turn into a horse your in mid jump and you break your leg, and low and behold your owner shoots you dead!

I wish I had the worlds' only money tree

[The Colonel]

you get your money tree, but i fucking steal it.

i wish didnt have school tomarrow.

[Duckky]

You get your horse but when you look in the mirror your realize you are the horse!
haha this is fun
i wish i was jesus

[BobBong]

you people would make horrible santa's...

[dryst]

u get to be jesus, but guees what happen to jesus?...

i wish i could have sex with jessica alba :D

[iwantFUEGO]

you find out jessica alba has a monster pussy and it swallows you alive.

I wish i had a huge marijuana garden in my room.

[potsmokingnome]

you get to have sex with jessica alba but you get so nervous you can't get it up lol

I wish I could win the lottery

[dryst]

u win the lottery but lose the ticket

i wish i had an erection 24 hours a day :D

[Dro_Princess]

You get the errection for 24 hrs but at 24 hrs and 1 second your dick falls off
I wish i had a job

[Duckky]

hahahaha "guess what happens to jesus" You get a job..but your forced to work!!! horrible thoughts.
i wish that i had a van made of mari j

[Inferius]

Dro: Your "job" is to scoop out the anus of old people who are too constipated.
Ducky: Your van is yours, but as you're taking it apart everything is covered in oil and gasoline. It lights up in a spark.

I wish I had a ferret.

[dryst]

u gt it but u fall asleep one night and it crawls up ur ass and suffacaties

i wish weed was free

[Duckky]

Damn at least the van would still get me high!
Its free but you get the death penatly whenever you destroy the thc in it. muwhaha
I wish that i didnt have to get up to get some cake.

[make it legal]

You get a maid to do it but every night she chains you up and gives you 50 lashes.

I wish the world had peace.

[dryst]

u egt peace but only after the machines wipe out the human race

i wish i could have sex with 2 girls at once ( i dont mean a threesome...i mean 2 at once!!!)

[MacWQ33]

You are having sex with both girls, but they decide to go in opposite directions, and both of your dicks snap off....

I wish I was Jay Leno

[souldistortion]

I wish I was Jay Leno

You are now Jay Leno. But your first day on tv, you tell a racially sensitive joke, get cancelled, and become a has-been overnight.

I wish I had 2 High chicks to give me a blowjob one at a time while the other one watches, and takes bong rips.

By the way, Dryst. this has to be THE GREATEST thread idea of ALL TIME. no joke

[Tom Swierzbinski]

You have a chick giving you a bj whilst the other watches, but theyre blonde and get confused. BJ chick proceeds to light your balls.

I wish that damn 'server busy' message would fuck off.

[andruejaysin]

I wish it would snow crystal meth every christmas eve.

[Dro_Princess]

Tom: The surver busy message goes away but then your computer crashes.
Andruejaysin:It rains crystal meth but you die a long horrible overdose death

I wish the insurance company would cut me my check

[Inferius]

They give you the check, but while you're in the bank cashing it, the teller gets a paper cut from the check. Not realizing it at the time, she gives you aids in the following money transaction from a nick on your index finger.
And not just normal aids. Super Aids. One teaspoon of Super Aids in your butt and you'll be dead in two years.

hehe i love this thread

I wish I was all-knowing.

[souldistortion]

You are all knowing. But being all knowing causes you to realize that being all knowing sucks. and your head explodes.

I wish I had like, a half ounce right now. and some hot apple pie.

[dryst]

while being all-knowing u begin wirting a book on a way to use more effeint fuels and u hit ur head forgetting everything...including ur name...

soul distortion: i get ur weed and get baked, u eat ur apple pie and watch the news, a report comes on and a news banner flashes saying somehow apples have contracted herpes....

i wish i could fly

[souldistortion]

The moment you realize you can fly, you take off into the great beyond only to get into a head on collision with a fighter jet. the fighter jet wins...

I wish the legal buds on herbalsmokeshop.com got you higher then weed. and that i got a free ounce of every single variety.

[dryst]

the chemical they used to get u high makes u a zombie and u start eating ur family and friends

i wish i could get some oral sex...

[Inferius]

You get a free ounce of every variety.
And the first two days of smoking those are GREAT.
But then you get addicted.
By the fourth day your brain is mush.
And by the fifth...
You do not have the ability to hold a bong.
You wither away and die.
Dryst: You get oral sex. From a polar bear. Who eventually realizes HE is a very, very hungry polar bear.

I wish wherever I was, the most physically attractive women found themselves irresistably attracted to me, until I was a mile away.

[souldistortion]

dryst: you get oral sex. in fact, THIS VERY NIGHT. as she is sucking away, and right as you feel your self about to bust, she bites your dick with all her might, until she actually bites it OFF and swallows it. then she runs away buzzkill i know.

inferious: this causes any woman within a one mile radious, including the ugly ones (which make up 99% of the female population)to ALL be attracted to you, therefore making it impossible for the hot ones to reach you. the hot chicks are trampled by the uglys and you end up being raped in a sweaty disgusting orgy embrace by doezens of some of the most discusting girls you've ever seen.

I wish I could get a grow going, and have an impossibly successful crop and yield.

[dryst]

it sucessful, so sucessful ur voted high time man of the year, untill u get busted by the cops and go to jail forever :D

i wish i had a pet monkey

[azure]

you get a pet monkey but its pregnant, it pops off hundreds of siblings that have fetishes for human skin.

i wish i could control the weather

[tahoe58]

ur JL.....but ur priceless car collection garage goes up in smoke.....

I wish divorce was FINAL! finally.....

[Dro_Princess]

You get your divorce but only to realize that in fine print it states that you will forever be a sex slave chanied up in your ex-wifes basement.

I wish it wasnt so cold.

[azure]

ur JL.....but ur priceless car collection garage goes up in smoke.....

I wish divorce was FINAL! finally.....

try reading the whole thread ffs

[dryst]

azure: u can control weather, to bad u cant control global warming huh?
dro princess: u find a brand new pair of thermal socks sitting right next to u, u wonder how they got there...all of a sudden u see a shadow go into the next room :p

i wish i had a sixth sense

[Dro_Princess]

You get your sixth sence but something horrible goes wrong. Your body rejects it and starts to eat itself from the inside out. Your dead within 24 hrs.

I wish that when I snapped my fingers my whole house was clean.

[dryst]

u snap ur fingers...ur house is clean, also u find that all ur shit is missing :D

i wish i could stop time

[Dro_Princess]

You are given the ability to stop time but you were a little vauge on your wish. for this you will be punished. You stop time but do no the the ability to start it back. You are now stuck in this parrell (sp) universe and will wonder around alone for all eternity.

I wish I could fly.

[eg420ne]

I wish cannabis.com would go back to the old days, back when me and P4B could have a good argument, now its to PC that I have to watch out for the PC Mods, well its not that bad yet but i fear it will get worser, esp- with sum new mod comes along...Just my opinon:thumbsup:

[andruejaysin]

Andruejaysin:It rains crystal meth but you die a long horrible overdose death

I wish the insurance company would cut me my checkYes, I rather imagine I would, probably when the insurance company cuts me a check. It's in the mail now unless they lied to me.

[Talulah]

You get your insurance check, but... there's a dead spider in the envelope when you get it!

I wish I had a mountain of weed, and an army to keep the national guard at bay.

[dryst]

u get ur mountain of weed....but a flash of lightning lights it on fire...

i wish i could see Dro_Princess naked :smokin:

[azure]

I wish cannabis.com would go back to the old days, back when me and P4B could have a good argument, now its to PC that I have to watch out for the PC Mods, well its not that bad yet but i fear it will get worser, esp- with sum new mod comes along...Just my opinon:thumbsup:

give me a shout if you want an argument about something, i enjoy it as strange as it may sound

[tahoe58]

You get your divorce but only to realize that in fine print it states that you will forever be a sex slave chanied up in your ex-wifes basement.

I wish it wasnt so cold.

fuck thats cruel....you have NO IDEA........yikes! LOL LOl LOL ROFLMAO

[dryst]

azure is that a wish?

[in.music.u.trust]

skipping azure

you see dro_princess naked, and in shock stumble back into Taluhuls moountain of weed that is on fire. not a bad way to die actually....

i wish that i could goto the cannabis cup next month...

[dryst]

u show up at the canniabis cup only to see its been canceled....:(

i wish i had the strength of 50 men

[wayoftheleaf]

you gain the strength of fifty men but the weight of the muscle breaks your arms.

I wish that whatever i wish have absolutley no negative side effects and every aspect of it happens from exactly as my mind has it in all its fullness. Fly ninja space monkies.

[dryst]

u wished twice...u brokw the rules so u die now :D

i wish i had some new pornos...

[wayoftheleaf]

i wish pamela anderson didn't have hepatitus c

[dryst]

she doesnt , now she only has a,b, and d-z....

i wish i still has some new porn...

[dryst]

*bump

[wholapola]

You get your porn, all modeled by women in their 80's.


I wish I had a Harley.

[dryst]

80 yr old women is bad thing? :D:p

u get ur harley...to bad u lost the keys....

i wish i could get away with murder

[souldistortion]

u can get away with murder now, but you have a cooking accident and set yourself on fire. due to the fact that the wish thought that you were trying to murder yourself (commit suicide) it lets you get away with it and they are unable to determine your cause of death and you are left a useless soul floating in the great beyond with no purpose or closure and tons of unfinished business.

I wish I had a dependable hookup

[dryst]

u lost me on giving my wish :D...

but anywayz...u get a decent hookup , but then he gets pinched :(

i wish i could read minds :p

[Dro_Princess]

u get ur mountain of weed....but a flash of lightning lights it on fire...

i wish i could see Dro_Princess naked :smokin:

;) :D

[Dro_Princess]

Dryst you get the ability to read minds but the US government finds out as well. They kid nap you take you to a disclosed island where you will live the rest of your life being a human experiment.

I wish I had the ability to teleport

[RunninOnSavedKarma]

u become jay leno, but one day while laughing at one of your own corny jokes your giant chin smashes a small infants skull and u get life in jail.

i wishi didnt have work tonight

[bondy]

You don't have to work tonight. But while you're gone, the boss comes in fucked up and incriminates himself by climbing to the highest point in the place and exposing himself, and he gives everyone there huge raises and an oz of the best to keep things quiet.

I wish I knew a guy in my area that'd be safe to buy from and allow me to do my thing in peace...

[dryst]

dro princess....u teleport right to the island im being experimented on :D, and now ur stuck there to :p

bondy....u know him...but due to ur lack of specifications...he doesnt like u and for that he wont sell to you either :D


i wish i could change the tv channel by blinking :D

[bondy]

You can do it, but blinking also controls all the other appliances in your house and turns the stove and microwave on, dials your phone, and turns your lights on and off. While you're running around fixing everything you can barely help blinking more because you're so surprised, and eventually you have to wear one of those Clockwork Orange eyelid things and use the TV remote anyway, and put drops in your eyes every five minutes too.

I wish I could fly using only the body parts I already have.

[dryst]

ur granted the ability to fly by blowing rocket fuel out of ur penis....bad thing is its extremely painful....oh and gas prices are outrageous....

i wish white man COULD jump....

[Dro_Princess]

dro princess....u teleport right to the island im being experimented on :D, and now ur stuck there to :p

bondy....u know him...but due to ur lack of specifications...he doesnt like u and for that he wont sell to you either :D


i wish i could change the tv channel by blinking :D

We will make due :D

You get your wish white men can jump but thats all they can do now. The rest of there lives the will get around by jumping like a kangaroo.

I wish I hadnt smoked my last joint this morning

[dryst]

lol

u didnt smoke ur last joint...but ur hubby did...so now ur still shit outta luck :D

i wish my new grow lights would come in the mail faster!!!

[Dro_Princess]

As you wish your lights are there tomorrow morning. But since you were so impatient there all broke and you didnt buy the insurance. ;)

I wish the panthers would have caught the fuckin ball in the 4th quarter and won. Clumsy bastards!!

[dryst]

he catches the ball just as a plane crashes into the stadium killing the whole team :o

i wish i had some taco bell...

[dryst]

he catches the ball just as a plane crashes into the stadium killing the whole team :o

i wish i had some taco bell...

[Dro_Princess]

You get your taco bell but something is not right. You body freaks out and you have explosive diarrhea for the rest of the month causing your asshole to become very sore from all the wiping. You cant even sit down without cringing in pain. :D

I wish my husband was getting over time.

[Eraserhead71]

i wish i could forget about my gf and stay away from her when i break up with her..

[Dro_Princess]

Eraserhead71 you didnt grant my wish so for that you will be punished. You forget about your gf but you also forget everyhting else about who you are. You decide to try and find out who you are and end up being a male hooker because you ran into the wrong group of people. You will forever be pimped out and eventually sold to someone in the undground world of sex slaves in some thrid world country.

I wish my dog could talk.

[dryst]

now ur dog has torrets...:D

i wish could live forever :p

[Dro_Princess]

LMAO hey dryst :D

You get to live forever but something horrible happens. There is a massive nuclar war and the planet explodes sending you out into space. You float around for a few hundred years until some Aliens spot you and take you back to their planet. They are so intrigued by you and your ability to live forever so they decide to keep you as a test subject trying to figure out how to kill you.

I wish I could tell the future.

[dryst]

u said aliens...i was gonna bet it included some kind of anal priobe or something :D

u can tell the future...and u start telling people, and now ur accused of witch craft and then u get burned at the stake :p <---that sucks :p


i wish dro_princess lived closer :p

[Dro_Princess]

Me and my anal probing. I think its getting out of hand. Ill be back later. :D

You get you wish I end up being your neighbor. But you get busted and sent to prison and now your Jimbos bitch. Dont worry Ill come visit :p

I wish I had the ability to enter into people's dreams and fuck with them.

[dryst]

dont jynx me :p

u have the ability to enter dreams...but u enter the wrong persons and get stuck...now theyre fuckin with u :p

i wish i enter peoples dreams and fuck them :D

[potsmokingnome]

dont jynx me :p

u have the ability to enter dreams...but u enter the wrong persons and get stuck...now theyre fuckin with u :p

i wish i enter peoples dreams and fuck them :D

You get into other people's dreams, but you get into only dreams of people who are red neck ugly! missin teeth and all!

I wish had more weed...

[potsmokingnome]

^^^^^^^ Lame wish yes I know....so re-wish: I wish I could have psychic powers!

[Dro_Princess]

You get your psychic powers but you dont have the ability to turn them off so the dead flock to you. You cant control them and they will not go away. You start to go insane and have to be put into a mental hospital where your so drugged up on meds you end up like a vegatable.

I wish I had the ability to move things with my mind.

[dryst]

the only thing u can with ur mind is bottled water...

i wish i had some skittles...

[RichieRich]

you get your bag of skittles and eat them only to find a string of used anal beads at the bottom of the bag.

I wish I had a dog who could talk.

[Dro_Princess]

You get your bag of skittles. You open it and you start to drool and cant wait to put those rainbow colored candies in your mouth. As you stick you hand in the bag you trip and drop the skilltes and watch helplessly as they scatter all over the ground on top of a pile of dog dookie.

I wish I lived in a different place.

[potsmokingnome]

Your dog can talk and he rats you out to the cops for smokin weed! lol

I wish my dog could bathe herself!

[BobBong]

I wish dryst would join the chat!

[RunninOnSavedKarma]

your dog bathes herself but is so compulsive about it she keeps doin it ( like a puppy eating) and makes all of her hair fall out and you run out of weed at the same time and the surgery for your dog is the exact prive of all the weed left in the WORLD

i wish i didnt break my bad ass bong

[dryst]

lol bob u get ur wish...ill be there in a sec :D...me coming to chat is indeed the bad ending to ur wish :D

i wish i had another bag of skittles...

[potsmokingnome]

You get your bag of skittles but the moment you put one in your mouth they turn into rabbit poo!!

I wish I made more money :(

[souldistortion]

you make more money. but your increased pay causes your useless spending to increase therefore causing you to become more broke then you were before.

I wish i had the ability to multiply anything by 2.

[dryst]

u can multiply anything u want by 2....but each time u do it divides the size of ur manhood by 2!! muahha :D

lol

i wish i had magic weed seeds :D

[souldistortion]

U get your magic weed seeds. you care for them, you nurture them, they grow beautifully, and flower amazingly resinous buds. they are so amazingly sticky that by week 6 you can hardly bear to be in the same house as them due to the dank smell, and you having no weed for weeks. fast foward 2 weeks....

2

weeks

_______

Harvest time. You have read up on how to harvest bud perfectly and end up curing and flushing the buds to perfection. FINALLY, your hard work has FINALLY paid off and your beautifully white and crystally magic bud is now ready to be smoked. These magic buds. are somehow magical, in a way, that is unknown to you. you load a bowl into your pipe and smoke it, only to find out, that it is LEGAL MAGICAL BUD. Bud that is somewhat legal but all together magically NOT delicious. Because it is legalmagic bud. as in fully legal, not even half. Legal buds from herbal smoke shop. magical in their own way i guess. buzzkill for you.

I wish I could stay this baked for the rest of my life. :)

[dryst]

u stay that baked for the rest of ur life...btu evenutally u build a tolerence :(

i wish i had some fuckin money :p im starving!!

[mamma puffpuff420]

ur walking along a path and u find a $20.00 bill
but b 4 u get 2 a store
a guys comes up bhind u and clubs u in the head
and takes the $20.00 u just found

[mamma puffpuff420]

ur walking along a path and u find a $20.00 bill
but b 4 u get 2 a store
a guys comes up bhind u and clubs u in the head
and takes the $20.00 u just found

i wish all the hate and fighting going on in the world would just stop

[souldistortion]

The hate and fighting in the world does stop. But the overly peacefull environment causes you to become enraged and even violent. therefore reintroducing the only violence left in the world, YOu.

I wish i had somthing to eat. i heavnet eatten all day.

[souldistortion]

You get a j. but you didnt specify what you wanted in it. congratulations on your joint of aregano and chives. smoke up

[Dro_Princess]

You get a j. but you didnt specify what you wanted in it. congratulations on your joint of aregano and chives. smoke up

You didnt leave me a wish to fuck up :(

I wish I had x-ray vision

[The Big Easy]

You get an x-ray machine but it can only see through Old Fat dudes clothing

I wish these seeds Im germinating sprout

[couch-potato]

those seeds will grow into apple trees, but you are allergic to apples

I wish I could bang Angelina Jolie

[BobBong]

I wish everyone would join the chat.

I wish , I wish.. I WISH THIS WOULD COME TRUE :chainsaw:

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Everyone gets into chat, but it overloads and fries the system

I wish I was with my ex again :(

[dryst]

ur with ur ex again...but once ur back together, u found out while u were apart he got a sex change! :p

i wish my utorrent would fuckin work!!!!

[souldistortion]

It works, but due to your decreased availability of downloadable porn, you go crazy and download massive amounts of porn causing your computer to get infixable viruses. your computer breaks.

I wish I could get paid to play guitar

[slipknotpsycho]

you get paid to play guitar, but it's while standing on a bed of nails with a cactus shoved up your ass.

i wish i could overdose on weed, right before my death.

[dryst]

uhh lol you overdose on weed...but u die to quickly to feel its effect

i wish for world peace and harmony :D

[slipknotpsycho]

i don't care if i feel it's effects, i just want to go down being the sole person to overdose on weed in the history of man... now that's a goal to shoot for :thumbsup:

[BobBong]

I wish , I wish.. I WISH THIS WOULD COME TRUE :chainsaw:

:bong: :rastabong: :bonghit: :baggy: :joint2:

When you wish apon a staaaar!

I close my eyes.. and there you aaare!

With..us in the chat :)