So confused :confused:

[lilweedprincess88]

:confused: Well yesterday my now ex was over. We were chillin and he got kicked outta his house recantly and was staying with a "friend". Neway we were looking for places for him to live and he had talked about us living together and mentioned it again when we were walkin lookin for him he ended up going to his "friends" house again. I had found a bunch of numbers and called this persons place to give them to him. Now me and him were datin for like 2 years and he was my first and i his. So back to the confuseion. while he was here he said he loved me and blah like usual i wanna make love to u and kisses and hugs and holding hands and eachother. So he goes back there like i said and i called. "She" answered the phone and i asked for him she was like whos this so i told her tylers gf and i told her y i needed him. She said she would relay the message. 2 min later she calls me back and was all i have sumthing to tell u. I been sleepin with ur bf for 2 months now..Btw hes 19 shes 28 with a kid....So i was like ah okay u know the usual upset and i told her how he was at my house today and wanted sex from me and was kissin me and crap and blah u know...i asked her y she sleepin with a guy so young she was like hes hawt thats y...and that if she known she would have never but he told her he wasnt with me that we broke up...now i asked him b4 and he never told me he kept sayin no and junk and unfortunately i belived him...I ended up going to her apartment to pick up my bike he told her that was a guy friends and she would not talk to me to solve this so find out who he wanted to be with. I should up there and he completly ignored the fact that i was his gf still bc noone said its over and pretended not to know me really...i then asked him y he did it and his replie was shit happens when ur on a break....This so called break was like a month ago he asked for it but came running back to me oh i love u i need u i miss u the break is off, then this...appearntly she thought i knew they were sleeping together and that he told her she loved me. I am soo confused and i dunno if i should belive her bc the last month he only hung with me ....like he might have slept with her during the 3 days but i dunno if he did ne more then that bc he always told me it was only me and he wasn't cheatin on me and crap...i need some advise incase he decides to try to get me back or sumthin....i love him but this really hurts to find that hes been cheatin let alone not from his mouth. But i don't wanna get hurt nemore... I gave him everything he could possibly need. He talked about having kids and marryin me and crap...Please help:confused:

[lilweedprincess88]

Well what u know he started talkin to me and was i love u i like u more,.....grrr.sumome help me i am soo lost.

[BobBong]

Lose this guy.
It'll hurt but in the end you won't regret it.
There are many men out there that will treat a woman properly.
You know he is cheating, confront him and breakup with him.

He's using you.

[lilweedprincess88]

it was already broken up last night when the girl called me and told me and i picked my bike up....
hes still tellin me he wants to be with me and only me that he did it bc he wanted to get over me then it was hard to stop...hes sayin he loves me...this guy is pathetic i am tellin u.

[birdgirl73]

BobBong's right. Lose that guy. It sounds a heck of a lot like he's playing you for what he can get out of you--a place to stay if he needs a backup plan for someplace to live and occasional sex when he's in the mood and not with his other girlfriend(s). "I still love you and want you" is the oldest line in the book when someone wants to keep a girl on the hook but not really have a relationship with her.

You're still fairly new to relationships if he was your first, so trust me on this. Love doesn't have to hurt or be confusing. Muster up enough self-confidence to resist this guy's periodic advances and hang in there till someone who'll treat your right comes along. Love him or not, this guy's too much of a playa and a user to ever be anything but pain for you.

[lilweedprincess88]

i know i told him i didn't wanna hear his bullshit he made a choice to be with her and her kid so he can have a child and be a daddy now. He was all like no no and crap. Btw hes a member of this board...but yea he was i messed up and i love u only u he even said hed go looking for me today while i am going out for lunch and keep asking me who i was going with like he owned me or sumthin. But he isn't gettin the hint i don't wanna be with a cheater...once a cheater always a cheater...right?

thanks guys for the post and help...this is soo hard for me...i had other relationships hes just the first guys i slept with, incase that wasn't too clear.

[cannabis campbell]

Hes fucking with your head

you'll get over him in time, but to do it you need to leave him

its for the best theres no other way. otherwise he'll keep hurtin u

yeah once a cheater always a cheater, its not like he just did it once and regreted it is it?

You need to forget about him.

[birdgirl73]

Yep, once a cheater, always a cheater. And that 28-year-old girl he's hanging with now doesn't have sense enough to know that if he'd cheat on you with her, he'll cheat on her with someone else.

You deserve better. Good luck!

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Oh boy. I'd seriously avoid him at all costs. The less contact the easier it will be on you. Tell him NO to all advances because right now you're probably extremely vulnerable and no offence, but weak. Don't put yourself through hell. I know you probably want to hear "He'll come back, he loves you" but love SHOULDN'T hurt and love doesn't cheat. I hate to say it but that's the truth. You can do so much better then some skeeze ball who thinks he's a hotshot. He'll probably get genital herpes or something.

[SuperTorch]

The guys a loser if he's not being truthfull to both of you or if he has one face for when your alone with him and another face when your around other people. If two people like having sex together but don't consider themselve to be together thats ok as long as they are truthful about it. But acting like we're in love when your alone and then "your that girl I use to know when he gets around other girls or friends" is the give away that HE can't face his own truth. If you want USE HIM FOR SEX but don't ell him thats what your doing as he'll realize your on to his style and he'll adjust with some other fake but seemedly deeper bullshit, about how shes got money and thats why he sleeps with her but he really loves you bla bla fuc*ing bla bla bla. Don't let him drag you down, but don't put negitive energy his way as it bounces back to you. Just kindly have sex with him at your likeing/conveniance if thats what you want to do. The give away here is how he acts infront of other people about you, not how he acts when your alone.

[lilweedprincess88]

see other ppl he acts like a bf but her he didn't he was all like avioding me and shit...All day he bugged me to know where i was going and that he was gonna follow me and he found out this other guys been hittin on me and he was all i wanna kill him and shit it was so annoying ...and he wants to be with me not her...neway she just phoned here lookin for him and was all where is he do u know where he was what computer was he using blah blah and like honestly this is bs. God. i already told him it was over i was actually pretty mean to him. but he said he would always love me and stupid [pointless meaningless things that don't matter

[SuperTorch]

The problem is hes confused not you. It doesn't matter whos right or wrong but the simple fact that there is 2 different faces, One for you and one for her means hes trying to manage a lie. If he would have told you up front that hes seeing her for her money or likes both of you or what ever it is, as long as there is no lieing then all parties can decide what they want. You may have said let just cool it a little but we can see each other here or there, but hey I may see someone else also. If he's like "F*CK that" then you need to say yea F*CK TAHT DON"T CALL ME if I can't play by the same rules as you. Just be sure that you decide what the rules are for you and he can set his own rules but you don't need to live by his rules that are open for him but very limmited for you.The lie is the worst thing going on here your just refuseing to see it, he has set a rule that lieing is OK. Well fine so lie to him back in whatever fasion benifts you. I'm not saying be all devious and mean or somebody you don't want to be, but no one ever gets hurt if everyone is truthful and plays by the same rule set whatever that may be. How could you play chess or football or basketball - if one team gets to dribble out of bounds or walk with the ball and gets 10 points for a single shot and your rule is you can't touch the ball with your hands but must use you feet and you only get 1 point per basket and the other team trys to convence you that NO THIS IS FAIR. All I'm saying is be truthful and do what you want to do.

[lilweedprincess88]

I have been truthful to tendonut..nothing but. He seems to think i am a game and yes i see the lie...hes full of them...i want to be with him bc i do love him but its best i do not as he lies and cheats. He still hasn't told her that he don't wanna be with her she had called here like i said practically bitchin at me to tell her where he was she thought he was with me and was pissed then he walks through the door and she was all sweet as can be asked him if he wanted to talk to me and said no he don't. like shes harassin me now bc he don't show home for her...thinkin he with me and all and didn't bellive me when i told her he wanted me to go to her house which is where tendonut is staying bc appearntly i beat the crap outta him when all i did was slap him across the face for sayin shit happens when ur on break in a rude and careless way like i don't give a f*ck about u. and its like he can;t make up his mind...but he ikeeps buggin me and buggin......

[SuperTorch]

Yea it all his confusion and like a cold or virus your catching it. If you have caller ID don't talk to her just give her voice mail from now on. As far as him what I'm saying is just go with the flo, let him think his lie is working say to him yea I understand everything yoursaying it makes so much since, but then do your own thing. If you try to make him march to your drum of truth ,he won't, it's better you control what you can which is you. Don't force him to learn what your trying to teach him just paly stupid for him with YOUR WORDS, but YOUR ACTIONS should say other than what your mouth is, he'll get the message that your stronger than he thinks. Hes stronger now because he does what he wants, your weaker because you got to ask him to do what you want. I just don't know all the facts but 2 faces is the oldest game in the book. Main thing don't sit around and wine about it, do your own thing or its just time lost.

[lilweedprincess88]

thanks supertorch...i think i will he will probally read this neway as he uses this forum to but meh i really could careless. U all have great advice thank u all. I have to be strong.

[d00d989]

Lose this guy.
It'll hurt but in the end you won't regret it.
There are many men out there that will treat a woman properly.
You know he is cheating, confront him and breakup with him.

He's using you.
bob has it right....

from an honest guy's point of view, theres NO FUCKING WAY he wasnt having sex with that 28 yr old if he was living with her.

i know you think "oh he loves me, maybe he wasnt fucking her"

but trust me. no chance in hell he stayed loyal to you

im sorry :( find a guy who deserves you

[lilweedprincess88]

Its hard to find a decent guy..i thought he was the right one. He used to make me smilie laugh and i was soo happy then he want to wheable its and adult school here in london and he changed he started smokin pot all the time. Its no biggie like i do it too but it was a continous thing...B4 class after class when he got home and it was a lil much. then he started sellin acid he said and then this. now he won't leave me be. He keeps buggin me about him being with me and its driving me crazy and now shes buggin me where he is if he ain't home. He was all of an hour late and she thought he was with me just assomed and then told me i could go over there whenever i wanted to....god this is soo stupid.

[napolitana869]

fuck him. tell both of them not to call you anymore

[smokeygirl]

I know exactly where you are coming from. I dated a guy that told me he was divorced, come to find out he was still married and playing around. I loved him too and fell for his lies. This guy is playing you. He wants to play around and still be with you. Don't believe his crap. I used to believe my ex's crap, he said it too. Oh I love you, you're the best I ever had, I don't cheat on you, I need you, don't look at other guys, I'll beat them up, etc, etc, etc. It was all lies. These type of guys are great at lying. They look you in the face and say they love you, and then go to the other woman and do the same thing. If you want a happy life, leave the loser, change your phone number, and if need be, put a restraining order on him and her too. You will never be happy with him. You will always wonder if you go back to him, if he is cheating on you. If he's late coming home, you'll think is he with her?, who's he with? Its not worth it to your self esteem. I know it hurts, but its better to hurt now, then to continue on with a sick relationship. I should know, I stuck around with mine for years and was so unhappy and he make me lose my self confidence. I am now single again, happy as all get out, and will never fall for his lies again. You need to leave him for good, go out with friends, take up hobbies, anything to get your mind off of him for good. If you don't you will be so unhappy that you stayed. Take care.........don't fall for the lies.

[lilweedprincess88]

Update....well he came back to my house asked me for help...he left her place and now is in the mens mission. She knew he was leaving b4 he even picked his things up from her house. she called his other friends whom i know and is safe...and was looking for him but he didn't talk to her he is now looking for a place on his own near me and wants me to see him and crap....hes apologized to his family for messing up and to me several times and has asked everyone for help. I think he might know hes a fuck up hes been talking to my friends which know him as well and tellin them how much he fucked up and that he lost the best thing that has happened to him. I think he knows he did wrong...still not sure what i am going to do thought.

[slowthestone]

It's a year minimum before fuk'ups get their shit together. After a while, IF hes for reals working on things...he'll learn to cope without you as his enabling crutch/shoulder to cry on.

In the mean time...life for you goes on...so live it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I read some fairly negative statements out of several of you concerning her ex. You fukrs almost sound like you've never gone of the tracks for a while and had to hit that wall before realizing a change had to be made.

He's a kid. He's not smart enough to fuk with her head.
He's a kid. He's been being fickle and hardly doing anything most young guys end up doing at some point. You ever live with an older gal when you were 19 and not...be taken in by that sort of thing?
He's a kid. People can grow ya know.

As for that gal he was hang'n with...well...what can I say...older gals lusting teen guys is out of the closet these days. Get used to it.

[wildhornet]

Dont fall into the trap! Go find yourself a great guy! Once a player, always a player. take that from experience

[slowthestone]

That sort of 'once a cheater always a cheater' type stuff....

Makes me wonder what's really going on at those golden years retires and their all night long bingo matches.

Ehh...its not true anyway. A large enough passion for someone fairly well makes the thought and motivations to cheat a highly unlikely thing. But then, I'm a romantic...so...yea.