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WannaSmokePot
04-20-2006, 03:03 AM
What's some dumb, retarded stuff you've done while stoned? I don't mean like crazy stuff, I mean stuff you did while trying to act normal but were in fact involuntarily acting really fucked up.

Some personal examples come to mind:

Got the munchies, ordered a bunch of food in a diner, got it doggy-bagged, and walked out without the food.

Was in an elevator and a woman dropped her water bottle and I said "God Bless You."

In my teenage years, ran into my parents unexpectedly while high and was paranoid about them seeing my bloodshot eyes, so I just shut my eyes while I talked to them and kept saying "I can't really talk now, I'm runnig back home to go to bed." They asked, "Why are you talking to us with your eyes closed?" To which I replied, "I'm THAT tired."

More will come to mind I'm sure. Share your stories; these kinds of stories are funny as hell.

dankman
04-20-2006, 05:01 AM
one time i had a microwave bowl of chicken fettucine alfredo and once i took it out i dropped it on the floor

once i was at a hotel in an elevator and there were other people in it and i was baked and i thought they would some how smell it on my breath so i held my breath for like 5 stories then started laughin

ToxicHaze
04-20-2006, 05:21 AM
One time me and sum friends got baked as fuck at school.so we sat together in class to look after each other. So were sitting there akwardly trying to act normal.so i turn around and look at my friend eddie and has the biggest grin ever i mean from ear to ear so i started laughing.pretty soon the laughter has spread like aids on a dirty hooker and all five of us are rollin on the ground with laughter all the while other students and teachers are all staring at us like were crazy and we kept laughing hard ass fuck for like 20 min.That was one of the first times i got really really stoned.....good times:rasta:

daima
04-20-2006, 12:48 PM
What's some dumb, retarded stuff you've done while stoned? I don't mean like crazy stuff, I mean stuff you did while trying to act normal but were in fact involuntarily acting really fucked up.

Some personal examples come to mind:

Got the munchies, ordered a bunch of food in a diner, got it doggy-bagged, and walked out without the food.

Was in an elevator and a woman dropped her water bottle and I said "God Bless You."

In my teenage years, ran into my parents unexpectedly while high and was paranoid about them seeing my bloodshot eyes, so I just shut my eyes while I talked to them and kept saying "I can't really talk now, I'm runnig back home to go to bed." They asked, "Why are you talking to us with your eyes closed?" To which I replied, "I'm THAT tired."

More will come to mind I'm sure. Share your stories; these kinds of stories are funny as hell.

the dumbest thing i have done lately was to give rollinkansas my attention.
dai*ma:D

CrAzYpOtHeAd
04-20-2006, 12:51 PM
hmmm... sometime's after a good toke i love to open my window... reach out of it... with children playing right across the road... and shout "IM STONED BITCH'S!!!!!!"

growitandsmokeit
04-20-2006, 04:02 PM
Can remember smoking a few bongs and then remembering I had to phone through an order for something. When I was giving out my card details I started getting the giggles and had to try really hard to not burst out laughing when I said my number. The guy twigged I think and me what was the matter!

1234abcd
04-20-2006, 04:13 PM
hmmm... sometime's after a good toke i love to open my window... reach out of it... with children playing right across the road... and shout "IM STONED BITCH'S!!!!!!"

Now why would you do that...dont tell kids your st0n3d man. Oh yeah..you were st0n3d.

zephyrinne
04-20-2006, 04:13 PM
I've gone into conveinence stores so many times while being high. I'll fumble with my money, drop shit everywhere.. and pretty much take forever deciding what snacks I want to eat. It's bad I tell ya. I also have a problem of saying whatever is on my mind while high.. that sometimes gets me into trouble. :)

Just recently I burnt the living piss out of my finger. Trying to light the bowl on this bong, and no one informed me that the glass piece on the slider that you hold onto, was broken. But I guess it's kinda my fault cause I didn't even notice. So I take this huge hit, and my finger starts burning when I pull the slider out. I was already really high, my reaction time was way slow, and it took a few seconds to realize my finger was burning from holding onto the actual glass bowl thing. Needless to say, I had a huge blister about the size of a dime on my finger. And it's just now going away. Hurt like fucking hell. :(

CrAzYpOtHeAd
04-20-2006, 05:01 PM
Now why would you do that...dont tell kids your st0n3d man. Oh yeah..you were st0n3d.

I'm not going to listen to anyone who's user name is "1234abcd"

You can count 1 to 4 AND you know "some" of your alphabet? lol, wow... Degree right there.

lol, j/k :p

krauser
04-20-2006, 05:08 PM
if people call the house to leave a messge i always write notes that nobody understands.... like an example the dentist called to give me an appointment monday at two and the note i wrote said this:

Penn MON !!!!!!
and somehow i knew exactly what that meant when i was no longer stoned

growitandsmokeit
04-20-2006, 05:18 PM
I also have a problem of saying whatever is on my mind while high..
Thats your filter going I reckon there is a little part of your brain short circuited when you get high which analyses whether you should stay stuff. I talk so much shit when I am high especially on shrooms and stuff.

diphen
04-21-2006, 09:37 AM
I'm not going to listen to anyone who's user name is "1234abcd"

You can count 1 to 4 AND you know "some" of your alphabet? lol, wow... Degree right there.
All in fun, this was *hilarious*

And re: the topic, well there's naturally a lot but perhaps the most terrible was going home having smoked a ridiculous amount of mj, and my younger brother most likely noticing..."what's so funny?" "oh just the show we're watching" the show was NOT that funny

S i k
04-21-2006, 09:21 PM
last time i blazed at work and went to count the register while toasted, next day someone tells me i was off by $120

Eshelmen
04-21-2006, 10:12 PM
more than half the time i go to eat a bowl of cereal i end up fucking something up... like putting the milk where the cereal goes or where the bowls go when i`m done

Drolover
04-22-2006, 12:40 AM
me and my friends got really baked and got the munchies, when we want to get some cereal we did not want to use bowls cuz they wore brown we thought the brown was dirt and the bowls wasent clean, so we ended up eating from cups and glasses.

MyMARYJANE
04-22-2006, 01:00 AM
drove in opposing traffic.. thank god the cars were pretty far away and i had time to turn into wendys b4 they reached where i was driving.
thats the end of driving too high

MyMARYJANE
04-22-2006, 01:01 AM
drove in opposing traffic w/ out noticing (my friends where like, did you kno you just drove in opposite traffic and i was like WHAT?).. thank god the cars were pretty far away and i had time to turn into wendys b4 they reached where i was driving.
thats the end of driving too high

Funkamander
04-22-2006, 02:49 AM
The second one's better.

WalkaWalka
04-22-2006, 05:02 AM
You know the 3 minute ramen noodles in the styrofoam cup I put one in with out water. My dad" what are you burning in there". Me in retard voice " erm NOTHING". My mom" If I din't know any better I might think you where stoned"
I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing my ass off

rollinKansas
04-22-2006, 07:55 AM
the dumbest thing i have done lately was to give rollinkansas my attention.
dai*ma:D


YOURE GIVING ME YOURE ATTENTION WHEN YOU SAY THAT


Dai*Ma:D < IDIOT

IM*SO*FUNNY:D

rollin*Kansas:stoned:

rollinKansas
04-22-2006, 07:56 AM
rollin*Kansas <thats the dumbest thing ive ever done

ozkid
04-22-2006, 10:21 AM
my friend ate dirt :)

Nathaniel
04-23-2006, 02:20 AM
Try this
Try to Explain Something when your Baked.
Now come back sober
and try explaining how you couldnt stop explaining something when you were high.

lol
1 time, first high.
I sat there talking. and Listening to myself at the same time, so as soon as I felt any diffrence, like I slipped out of my body, and just listend to myself talk, i would SNAP BACK really quickly. so I sat there, just going:
"Hey guess WHAT man, im just TALKING to see if I can HEAR MYSELF, and im sorry im talking SO MUCh but im tryign to LISTEN TO myself, and when i do i think im SOMEOEN ELTS listening to me and IM HIG H AS HELL"
or, i would get into stupid Conversations and just keep jerkin around and shit.
it was fun :)

bulletz144
05-01-2006, 08:36 PM
me and my friend were with some chicks and there was so weed blazin, and we were like "DUDE, WE SHOULD GET SHROOMS!!!", so we take off to my friends brother, who we figured would have them, but he wasnt home, so even though he lives with his parents and sister, we left a big note that said "yo richard, can we please get $60 worth of mush, thanks." That was pretty heat.

i also remember going into some wierd trance while walking home...i started thinking really hard about something, and eventually i was actually watching it happen in my head, and it started changing slowly and morphing into something REALLY far out, and then i finally caught myself thinking of it and im like "MAAAAN, THAT WAS WIERD!!!!"

ive also drank pudding in a cup, it was pretty trippy.

fikusroot
05-01-2006, 09:21 PM
Had to do a photography prject so went into the park with my camera and smoked a few bowls. Go to devlop them and almost all of the are extreme close ups of rocks that I didnt remember taking.

TTBoi
05-01-2006, 10:31 PM
i was going to my friends house at 1 in the morning from this party where i got really baked and went into a house that i thought was his (i had only been to his house earlier that evening) and used the restroom. when i was in the bathroom i realized that it was not his house and then heard someone comming down the stairs. i had to lock the door and make my escape through the bathroom window. i felt rely fucking stupid after that.

Big Calhoun
05-02-2006, 12:35 AM
The craziest thing happened while I was stoned and drunk. My roommate, myself, and 2 other suitemates are chillin in the suite and playing Mortal Kombat. My roommate looks over to me and says, "Chris, what's your name?" and I'm like, "Huh?". So he keeps repeating, "Chris, what's your name?". Damn it if I couldn't remember my name!!!

huh
05-02-2006, 04:09 AM
i've done a lot of things like making mac and cheese and then noticing i forgot the put the cheese in after i finished. or making cereal and forgetting the milk.

one time i had a party at my house and my friend who was blazed as hell threw a flaming stick from the bonfire into all these dead bushes and then put them out with my garden hose because he wanted to practice for being a fire man...then at the end of the night i had to reel in the hose and i was blazed out of my mind so it took me almost a hour to reel the hose in from about 15ft away

zip
05-02-2006, 06:04 AM
walked into grocery, grabed a bag of spicy cheetos, opened bag, started eating chips right away, walked while eating til I was out of the store, when I got out, I realized I forgot to pay for em, then kept on walkin with my free chips HAHA lolz

Pete Rock
05-02-2006, 06:09 AM
I was eating ranch doritos and was laughing so hard that I got doritos stuck in my nose.

sirsmokesalot
05-02-2006, 05:18 PM
i have a problem with keeping quiet when i eat. according to friends whenever i eat in a public place blazed i have a tendancy to exlaim just how good the meal is with a series of moans an exclemations. gotta work on tha...

kpqb8
05-02-2006, 07:00 PM
i thought iw as michael jordan once when i was stoned

mastahaze
05-03-2006, 01:31 AM
once i was blazed off my ass off opium and weed, and me and my freind got picked up to go to his orthadontist. in the car ride we told his mom about this girl at are skool who loves hamburgers. his mom was like wtf and we were laughing our asses off and studering. wen we get to his orthadontist we went to the waiting room and the guyy next to us was ordering a hamburger for take out, so we started laughing our asses off. thenhis doctor calls him in and im left in the waiting room. so i got bored and sent him a billion txt messages saying "r u done yet". afterwords he told me he could hear me laughing in the other room. lmao

8675309
05-03-2006, 01:55 AM
Smoked the filter of a cigarette. :(

just me
05-03-2006, 11:03 AM
Look for food or drink I thought i'd just made not finding it and realise what I was looking for was something I made on the previous day then try to remember what I was actually looking for.

RatedR
05-03-2006, 05:23 PM
One time me and my friends were high in front of his parents. And we saw a moth and somehow it ended up in a discussion on what the nest the catepillar's live in why they're evolving.


BTW the answer is a Cocoon and a Crystallis(sp?)

Hempamasta
05-03-2006, 09:23 PM
Had to do a photography prject so went into the park with my camera and smoked a few bowls. Go to devlop them and almost all of the are extreme close ups of rocks that I didnt remember taking.

ROFL that's hilarious. I remember one time I had just got through smoking a few bowls out of my pipe in my dorm room, and I started to get kind of hungry.. so I was looking through my stuff, and it was sorta dark in the room b/c I just left the lights off b/c it's more relaxing that way... so I like, pick up my toothpaste and I'm like, turning it over and over in my hands, thinking it's like a candy bar or something.. and then I'm like.. "Oh wait.. It's toothpaste."

surfingdwedge
05-04-2006, 06:58 AM
Got REALLY high on weed and bars, went into my living room and layed on the floor observing the marble tile and all the little designs. They were moving around like lava and stuff and it was cool. So i lay there for an hour, and i even imagine going on a journy through a lava tunnel or something, its hard to explain. So my mom walks in and is like what are you doing. and im like, just looking at the lava and shes like wut and i was like oh the tile. : ]. wow.


One time my friends and i got really stoned and decided to play xbox and make egos. so to be more "efficient" in making the egos, i bring the toaster to my room and start toasting lots of egos. a few minutes later the fire alarm goes off and we ignore it for a while, then we realize oh shit it will wake up my parents and we are laughing while waving towels n shit right at the alarm. hahaha. next mornign we were like fuck dood we coulda been caught.

singingbowl420
05-04-2006, 07:29 AM
lol well I have a few stories

one time while me and all of my friends were smoking in the woods next to a HUGE bonfire...some one threw our ONLY lighter in the fire and when it came time to smoke again we noticed we didnt have a lighter so I leaned up to the flame and lit my blunt and then a few seconds later my friends started beating my head...I was SOOOOOO confused....and then I found out my hat had caught on fire when I lit the blunt...can you say too high?

anouther story is I was playing with a Zippo lighter and I lit a joint off of it and just kept playing with it...well my friend called me and I put the zippo down and went and talked to him for a while when I came back the lighter was still going....so I tried to grab it and it burned my hand so hardcore...a few days later I opened it back up and noticed that the metal around the wick had melted...very hot

I dont know why all my stoner stories have fire involved....I guess I am just a bit of a pyro

kush07
05-04-2006, 06:34 PM
I have a semi-good story.

One time me and my friend and his girlfriend were going out to get some munchies after smoking a few bowls. We are sitting in traffic and decide to light up a blunt we rolled earlier. We smoked about half of it before traffic cleared and we were able to pull into a Taco Bell. We order our food acting normal as can be while still toking. Upon pulling up to the window my friend had just taken a huge hit. Knowing this he tried to hold his breath and act normal. Well, he couldn't do so. He held his breath as best he could but air prevailed. He blew a huge ass cloud into Taco Bell and then burned the tires to get away. Me and his girlfriend just looked at each other and hoped a pig wasn't close by. In the end, the food tasted great.:rasta:

smokin dope
05-07-2006, 12:44 AM
i do alot of stupid shit when im stoned, it just comes with the dank!!

hempomatic
05-08-2006, 05:18 AM
got me a glass of water and put the ice in the fridge
fell down when i tried to stand up w
walked into a convience store baked as hell and there was a few cops in there, had to act norm but then started laughing my arse off and slipping and falling and my small weed bag about fell out of my jacket slipped it back in in a split second

Hollandica
05-08-2006, 05:50 AM
Smashed a fully functional ipod mini to bits. I had the best laugh ever

MacWQ33
05-08-2006, 07:41 PM
Speaking of Taco Bell....one day me and my friend went there after a blunt, ordered a couple things and some drinks....pulled up, paid and drove off without the drinks lol. The very next day we smoked and went again, and this time after paying, we were talking and my buddy just drove away, and it took us a few seconds to realize we forgot the food and drinks!!

Another time...(this was a very stupid idea, and we werent high yet lol) Meand my friend smoked in school (lol I mean IN SCHOOL) at the bottom of a stairway out of a bottle bong (some skunk too lol). Well the whole hallway we were in was fishbowled, and we walked up the stairs (3 flights) and mad people are were just standing like "Wow you I wonder what you guys were doing down there!!" So this led to the most paranoid state I have ever been in, but luckily, no security, teachers or deans found out !!! (I still cant believe we did that hahahah)

MacWQ33
05-08-2006, 07:56 PM
^^^PS......During the "in school" incident, the friend I was with was the #1 high school running back in the state (MA) at the time, so he was like the most popular kid in our school, which kind of made it even stupider considering the circumstances....lol....I'm sitting here crying in laughter after thinking back...

GetBakedOrDieTryin
05-08-2006, 09:18 PM
my parents were home while i was fairly stoned... I am 16 by the way and this happend only like a day ago... I thought my dick kept coming out of my underwear, so i kept adjusting the damn thing while staring at these 3 skate boarders who may of been a lil older then me. I then checked to see if my dad was home... which he was.... I fucking went to one of those portable classrooms and slept on the fucking ramp outside.

GetBakedOrDieTryin
05-08-2006, 09:24 PM
it was pretty gay too because this was only yesterday in florida.. so it was really hot,.

halo
05-09-2006, 12:04 AM
One time my friend and I got really baked. So we decided to make a pizza. We made it. We did not burn it. Then we decided to sneak out and walk around his neighborhood holding and eating an entire pizza. We dropped it like 5 times but still kept eating it. It was damn good too.

Another time we were at my house high on weed and shrooms. I was walking over to my bathroom and he got the lighter and lit my ass on fire!!! I kept smacking it like it was **insert something that should be smacked** and then i found out he lit my ass on fire. I was so pissed but it was hilarious.

DusanTafari
05-09-2006, 12:50 AM
I was smoking in the garage with my friends Bill, and my dad comes up the drive way, so I book it inside, then he asks me what me and bill where doing in the garage and I said I was showing him my baseball bats....... I live in Canada and it was winter and I dont even own a baseball bat.

kush07
05-09-2006, 01:05 AM
Another time I was at friends house and we needed to refill the bong and put fresh ice in it. I went into the kitchen and poured a glass of water and put ice in it and put the bong in the cabinet where i got the glass from. Went into the garage and he said, "WTF, wheres the bong?" Hilarity insued.

Happy Toking :rasta:

horror business
05-09-2006, 02:18 AM
OMG, this is the first time I've gotten high while reading this type of topic. Usually I read Q and A forums. Right now I'm blazed, and reading all of these stories. Man they are so fucking stupid and hilarious. I mean, I read some of my posts, and realized how stupid it sounded, and how I put too many commas in my sentences. But anyway, this is a great thread, I mean some of the shit doesn't make sense, but it does, it's just stupid, and you can tell who's high by what they're writing, at least you can tell when you yourself are high.

Pride
05-09-2006, 05:15 AM
I got some pretty great stories.
I'll start with when I was eating Korean food and decided to joke around and say to my friend
"dude.... I'm a Korean!" and tried to speak what little Korean I knew but realized I didn't know enough, but then I realized that Koreans and Japanese are friendly with each other (less racism these days at least) and I knew enough Japanese and decided:
"Dude, wait... I'm a Japanese with a TASTE for Korean!" and started talking random Japanese.
My friend was getting annoyed and wanted me to stop, and I had another strange idea cause I was getting so into the asian transformation that I nearly thought I was Japanese with a taste for Korean.
I would chant Hebrew to myself. I sang the WHOLE kiddush to myself and cured myself of asian transformation and was jewish again.

I then concluded that holy words from the torah is what cured me, therefore religion was real. LOL!

Its a Plant
05-09-2006, 08:35 PM
lol this just happened to me and I thought it was pretty funny.
I was walking down the stairs and heard this sound that I thought was a cricket.
I went back upstairs and listened, then heard nothing.
I said fuck it and started frolicking down the stairs and noticed my sandals were making that sound.
haha that had me freaked out crickets are SO annoying.

Funkamander
05-10-2006, 05:23 AM
^ I like you for wearing sandals. Now that you brought them up, I realize I am SO a sandal guy.

So, like, thanks for that.



I'm gonna buy some sandals!

Funkamander
05-10-2006, 05:23 AM
HA!

Sandal!

Sandal sandal sandel!

It lost all meaning! SANDAL!