Bloody inbeciles at AOL.. a funny, heartwarming read.

[Swizzy89304]

We have had problems with our phone line ever since we joined AOL Talk last month... a lot of premium rate numbers being dialled, and its not by us. Here is a transcript of my conversation that is ongoing with someone at AOL Live Help (as our phone is not working).
This shows that it is not in fact monkeys or chimpanzees that work at AOL... it is, in fact, goats.
15:31:26 AOL UK Support Connecting to server. Please wait...
15:31:26 AOL UK Support Connected to AOL Live Help server.
15:31:26 AOL UK Support Your initial query was: We cant dial out and any incoming calls go straight to answering machine
15:31:26 AOL UK Support Thank you for calling into AOL Live Help for Billing Support
15:31:27 AOL UK Support Nalnikant has joined this session!
15:31:27 AOL UK Support Connected with Nalnikant
15:31:27 AOL UK Support Welcome to AOL Live Help. How might I be of service to you?
15:31:56 Nalnikant I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused to you & the trouble you have been facing till now.
15:32:52 You We were promised that all premium rate numbers will be blocked, yet upon viewing our AOL Talk bill online we have still had premium rate numbers being called. Why is this?
15:34:52 Nalnikant For the issue that you are facing you may need to call member services who will assist you in resolving the call blocking..We at livehelp do not have resources to resolve that..
15:35:10 Nalnikant Otherwise I would have loved to assist you in this regard..
15:35:26 You What do you suggest as we cannot dial any outside numbers?
15:38:06 Nalnikant You can and that you can change as per your requirement..
15:38:31 Nalnikant You may need to call member services at 0870 320 20 20 to get it resolved..
15:40:15 You So we ring them from our phone, which has hardly worked since we joined AOL Talk - and is still not working?
15:42:21 Nalnikant Or you call BT since member services will any case refer your case to BT since your issue with calls going straight to answering machine will be resolved by them..
15:44:45 Nalnikant Is there anything else I may help you with?
15:45:12 You Yes. Please enlighten me, how am I supposed to dial an outside number when your crappy AOL Talk service wont allow us to dial out?
15:48:06 Nalnikant Is all the outside calls are barred?
15:49:38 Nalnikant or specific calls like all mobiles or all international etc?
15:50:15 You Yes, whenever we try to dial an outside number we just hear three beeps then the handset goes dead - this happens with both handsets. Also, when trying to dial in, we just go straight to the answerphone. It happens with all calls.
15:51:12 You And yes, the phone line is plugged in.
15:52:35 Nalnikant Is all the outside calls are barred?
15:52:39 Nalnikant or specific calls like all mobiles or all international etc?
15:52:58 Nalnikant Since for your..
15:53:18 Nalnikant go straight to the answerphone you may need to call BT to get it resolved.
15:53:43 You All of them - we press the button to dial the number, and all we hear are three beeps then the phone line goes dead.
15:54:44 Nalnikant For specific number baring issue you may need to call member services and if all the numbers are then you may need to call BT since it is just AOL routes your call through AOL Talk and the technical issues with phone you may need to call to BT ...
15:55:34 You How are we supposed to call BT when our phone wont allow us? Im not exactly prepared to call from a mobile phone as they charge 60p a minute, at least.
15:58:21 You Can I ask you a question? What is your favourite food in life? And what would you do if you couldnt have that good, good food anymore? Well, thats like us without a working phone.
15:59:55 You Fuck this, Im off for a spliff.

Yes, that is the REAL conversation, word for word. I just got so pissed off in the end. After half an hour of him telling us to ring AOL/BT, and me repeatedly telling him that the phone wont work, I got bored and decided to get baked.

And you thought AOL employees were dumb? Fuckin imbeciles... (AOL, not you :cool: )

[BUZz UK]

put some fucking spaces between the lines and i'll read it...

[BUZz UK]

P.S i hate GAY O L, i'd never use that sack of shit ISP...

[dark0ne]

i hate AOL, it's the most comercialy baught virus on the planet. It invades your comp and put strange files evrywere. I wouldn't have gone through aol for a phone service. Thats just asking for stupidity. we had them at first, and i still use the AIM service, but thats only because of some freinds. man get rid if it fast, before they suck you in to the pit of dispare.

[BUZz UK]

i hate AOL, it's the most comercialy baught virus on the planet. It invades your comp and put strange files evrywere.
lol, that's sooooo true, i used to work in IT, and basically everyone i met in the IT industry hated AOL

[spacelamb]

That's the funniest fucking thing I've read in a long time! 'Could be because I'm baked.....

[God v2.0]

i work for aol, i sell it over the phone, and i sell it good. And the truth is that only about 5% of former/current AOL members are upset with AOL. You only hear the problems with AOL we also include a $50 virus scan program and firewall for FREE!!! And besides our service is very easy to use which can help alot of people, just because you are a computer wiz doesnt mean everyone else is.

So think about this, AOL has over 40 MILLION customers in the US alone........alot of customers for a company thats complete shit right?

Now I admit alot of their policies are kinda sleezy but give me an example of an ISP that isnt completely evil in that respect, i have quest DSL at both of my houses and i get variable speeds (which is bull cause i pay for 512k and sometimes i get 384 and even 256) also the other one is a 1.5m connection with an external modem, and it was the hardest shit to get setup EVER, i had to call tech support about 50 times and i finally got it to work on my own.

So just trying to get a little perspective out there for you all. There are more people out there who hate AOL than hate any other ISP but that is simply because AOL is the largest dial up ISP (or was for a long long time, i remember when the only way to access the internet was through AOL, back when i was running aol 4.0 )which was my favorite.

[BobBong]

AOL is the spawn of Evil, you should all know this already...

Why else would they fire off free trial disks like condoms?

Because they know people have been annoyed with AOL for years..

[stonerneedsrealweed]

aol assholeson line

[Swizzy89304]

i work for aol, i sell it over the phone, and i sell it good. And the truth is that only about 5% of former/current AOL members are upset with AOL. You only hear the problems with AOL we also include a $50 virus scan program and firewall for FREE!!!

Ha, yeah, you fuckin need it with AOL aswell!
Our accounts have been hacked into a few times in the past (we have norton antivirus, antispam, firewall, PG2 and a anti-spyware thingymajic that scans the PC progressively. And our email accounts have still been hacked into, and several thousand spam emails sent out before AOL got their asses together and decided to ban us.
Then we have to sit on the phone for an hour, before a Tech-Support goat decides to activate our account again.

[stonerneedsrealweed]

Then we have to sit on the phone for an hour, before a Tech-Support goat decides to activate our account again.


i think you mean chimpanze or monkey i used to have aol but tried to cancel they said we will give you 30 days free again you can call back and cancel NO QUESTIONS ASKED well we call back and they say why u wiutting assholes online.. i say its crap they dont ever want to let you cancel it is internet bondage........................................... ......................i think that aol needs to be perm shut down

like you said swizzy my computer crashed several times our credit card number was on the aol service and there was always some thing ordered on our credit card and shit i had to pay 200 dollars to get my computer fixed at a pc shop ....................




so yeha aol is bondage to internet users

[stonerneedsrealweed]

That's the funniest fucking thing I've read in a long time! 'Could be because I'm baked.....


no its funny and i havend ever baked

[stonerneedsrealweed]

AOL is the spawn of Evil, you should all know this already...

Why else would they fire off free trial disks like condoms?

Because they know people have been annoyed with AOL for years..

and now it comes pre loaded in all computers these days!!! if i ever bought a new computer i would have to wipe it out and reinstall the os to get rid of the aol before i booted up i get an aol disk n my mail every 2 months and give it to my dogs as a frisbee its fukin fun


and they make great coasters

[king kong bong]

Ha, yeah, you fuckin need it with AOL aswell!
Our accounts have been hacked into a few times in the past (we have norton antivirus, antispam, firewall, PG2 and a anti-spyware thingymajic that scans the PC progressively. And our email accounts have still been hacked into, and several thousand spam emails sent out before AOL got their asses together and decided to ban us.
Then we have to sit on the phone for an hour, before a Tech-Support goat decides to activate our account again.

swizzy that pic you posted says it all. thats all who works there, indians. i can't understand what they're saying. one time i had to keep hanging up until i got a american who i could understand.

[Swizzy89304]

KKBong, u actually got an American on the phone? The only American Ive ever talked to on the AOL phone line is the one who leaves the prerecorded messages, and even shes a bitch to understand.

[rastabill89]

what the hell kinda name is Nalnikant

[Swizzy89304]

what the hell kinda name is Nalnikant

Lol my dad figured out it was an indian guy when he saw the name.

[Ze w33d Farm3r]

Lol GAY-O-L i hate that company

Soon as i got broadband everythingstarted to go wrong with our phone line...everythn...

Called tech support and guess what they said?

Please hold whike we re-direct you to India Costumer Service?

wtf, u cnt understand what their saying half the time because of their poor english! lol

funny days...annoying as hell more like it!

[Jennifer K]

I made the mistake of signing up with aol, just to get online while waiting for my dsl package to arrive, and now I can't get rid of it. Pisses me off. They said I could cancel anytime, I cancelled and deleted and it still won't go away! Stay away from aol!:mad: :stoned:

[Ze w33d Farm3r]

to properly get rid off all those nasty hidden files that aol plant in ur comp i believe you have to comb through your registry files and delete the key files...i had an old friend who was a comp wiz helping me ou with that...but it works!:)

[rastabill89]

Lol my dad figured out it was an indian guy when he saw the name.


lol oh ok....your dad reads the fourms?

[eddievanzant]

Maybe you have an active X autodialer. AAHHH!!!

[Swizzy89304]

lol oh ok....your dad reads the fourms?

Sometimes. Tried to get baked with him before, but hes not interested :(
I think I might make him a surprise birthday cake in July when he turns... er... 50 something.

[Oneironaut]

You know what really pisses me off about AOL? They've started to put those fucking Above The Influence ads on AIM. GAAAAH! :mad:

[chisme]

aol is pathetic like darkone says its basicly a comercial virus its makes u use some shitty webbrowser like aol broswer and new comp user doint know how to change back default internet explorer..the thing with aol is when i get anything from them wehter it be a service package or a demo disk it fills your computer with tons iof shit...they track your pages...openly


they hire idiot and yes i beleive that fguy really said that its like

we cant call bt or aol because the phone u gave us doesnt work.
''sir you need to call bt''
but your phone doesnt work so i cant call anyone
''all calls or just mobile and international?''
all calls
''the u need to call aol sir''
how can i when the phone dotn work?
''mmmm when u phone bt ask them''
wot but i cant cal bt cos your phone dotn work?
'''mmm maybee ask aol costomer line?''
and how do i conact them?
''phone''
but your hpone dont work?



lol yeag i get it they r thick as pig shit.....also everyone i kow with aol broadband never get full download speed they were advertised and it takes like 5 atempts to get loged in under your broadband user name.....isnt that a point of broadband>? no connection time wait? i dont think aol have heard of false advertising.

[chisme]

eddie may be right aswell make sure a popup has not downloaded a auto dilaler from a xxxx website the sometimes do it without u noticing if u click start and find new icons on your start menu that i ddint have previously one may be dialing a connecion to premium rate service when u dont know about it

[king kong bong]

and they be like a as in apple. b as in boy. c as in cock.

[Swizzy89304]

Chisme, did a full scan of the system (the automatic scans only scan the 'surface' of the computer) and it found something like 32 adware/spyware thingymajics, and one XXX dialer.
Lol King Kong Bong, where are all your quotes from? I know the Mark Twain one, I was watching The Devils Rejects stoned and when the dude said that line it reminded me of you.
Can I suck on your bong, KKB? :p

[eddievanzant]

I knew it! It's the dreaded autodialer! AAAHHHH!!!!!

[chisme]

lol so you got it sorted then?


but even so aol should refund u all the charges as u did not intentionaly make the call.....play on the fact as the isp they should have provided you with the firewall.UPDATED enough to dis-allow outgoin connections to another number. they r in the wrong because their include ''firewall anit-virus'' obviously is not worth the cheap paper tis printed on. aol can suck my ass i am never using aol because why do they call it america online when no one there speaks american? false advertising again? and as for the hidden files im sure if u keep the files in a non contagable safe folder then you could take up a private lawsuit with aol for downloading unwatned adverts and images to your hardrive......in other words sue them for hacking you because its twhat they do!

[eddievanzant]

i work for aol, i sell it over the phone, and i sell it good. And the truth is that only about 5% of former/current AOL members are upset with AOL. You only hear the problems with AOL we also include a $50 virus scan program and firewall for FREE!!! And besides our service is very easy to use which can help alot of people, just because you are a computer wiz doesnt mean everyone else is.

So think about this, AOL has over 40 MILLION customers in the US alone........alot of customers for a company thats complete shit right?

Now I admit alot of their policies are kinda sleezy but give me an example of an ISP that isnt completely evil in that respect, i have quest DSL at both of my houses and i get variable speeds (which is bull cause i pay for 512k and sometimes i get 384 and even 256) also the other one is a 1.5m connection with an external modem, and it was the hardest shit to get setup EVER, i had to call tech support about 50 times and i finally got it to work on my own.

So just trying to get a little perspective out there for you all. There are more people out there who hate AOL than hate any other ISP but that is simply because AOL is the largest dial up ISP (or was for a long long time, i remember when the only way to access the internet was through AOL, back when i was running aol 4.0 )which was my favorite.
Wow. That's a larger number than I assumed. It isn't any worse than other ISPs. For instance, my broadband service (and pretty much everyone else's) is capped even though they say all you want anytime. The reason why AOL catches so much beef is because it sells software along with the service so there're more things to complain about.