Bloody inbeciles at AOL.. a funny, heartwarming read.

[Swizzy89304]

We have had problems with our phone line ever since we joined AOL Talk last month... a lot of premium rate numbers being dialled, and its not by us. Here is a transcript of my conversation that is ongoing with someone at AOL Live Help (as our phone is not working).
This shows that it is not in fact monkeys or chimpanzees that work at AOL... it is, in fact, goats.
15:31:26 AOL UK Support Connecting to server. Please wait...
15:31:26 AOL UK Support Connected to AOL Live Help server.
15:31:26 AOL UK Support Your initial query was: We cant dial out and any incoming calls go straight to answering machine
15:31:26 AOL UK Support Thank you for calling into AOL Live Help for Billing Support
15:31:27 AOL UK Support Nalnikant has joined this session!
15:31:27 AOL UK Support Connected with Nalnikant
15:31:27 AOL UK Support Welcome to AOL Live Help. How might I be of service to you?
15:31:56 Nalnikant I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused to you & the trouble you have been facing till now.
15:32:52 You We were promised that all premium rate numbers will be blocked, yet upon viewing our AOL Talk bill online we have still had premium rate numbers being called. Why is this?
15:34:52 Nalnikant For the issue that you are facing you may need to call member services who will assist you in resolving the call blocking..We at livehelp do not have resources to resolve that..
15:35:10 Nalnikant Otherwise I would have loved to assist you in this regard..
15:35:26 You What do you suggest as we cannot dial any outside numbers?
15:38:06 Nalnikant You can and that you can change as per your requirement..
15:38:31 Nalnikant You may need to call member services at 0870 320 20 20 to get it resolved..
15:40:15 You So we ring them from our phone, which has hardly worked since we joined AOL Talk - and is still not working?
15:42:21 Nalnikant Or you call BT since member services will any case refer your case to BT since your issue with calls going straight to answering machine will be resolved by them..
15:44:45 Nalnikant Is there anything else I may help you with?
15:45:12 You Yes. Please enlighten me, how am I supposed to dial an outside number when your crappy AOL Talk service wont allow us to dial out?
15:48:06 Nalnikant Is all the outside calls are barred?
15:49:38 Nalnikant or specific calls like all mobiles or all international etc?
15:50:15 You Yes, whenever we try to dial an outside number we just hear three beeps then the handset goes dead - this happens with both handsets. Also, when trying to dial in, we just go straight to the answerphone. It happens with all calls.
15:51:12 You And yes, the phone line is plugged in.
15:52:35 Nalnikant Is all the outside calls are barred?
15:52:39 Nalnikant or specific calls like all mobiles or all international etc?
15:52:58 Nalnikant Since for your..
15:53:18 Nalnikant go straight to the answerphone you may need to call BT to get it resolved.
15:53:43 You All of them - we press the button to dial the number, and all we hear are three beeps then the phone line goes dead.
15:54:44 Nalnikant For specific number baring issue you may need to call member services and if all the numbers are then you may need to call BT since it is just AOL routes your call through AOL Talk and the technical issues with phone you may need to call to BT ...
15:55:34 You How are we supposed to call BT when our phone wont allow us? Im not exactly prepared to call from a mobile phone as they charge 60p a minute, at least.
15:58:21 You Can I ask you a question? What is your favourite food in life? And what would you do if you couldnt have that good, good food anymore? Well, thats like us without a working phone.
15:59:55 You Fuck this, Im off for a spliff.

Yes, that is the REAL conversation, word for word. I just got so pissed off in the end. After half an hour of him telling us to ring AOL/BT, and me repeatedly telling him that the phone wont work, I got bored and decided to get baked.

And you thought AOL employees were dumb? Fuckin imbeciles... (AOL, not you )

Swizzy89304 Reviewed by Swizzy89304 on 03-11-2006. Bloody inbeciles at AOL.. a funny, heartwarming read. We have had problems with our phone line ever since we joined AOL Talk last month... a lot of premium rate numbers being dialled, and its not by us. Here is a transcript of my conversation that is ongoing with someone at AOL Live Help (as our phone is not working). This shows that it is not in fact monkeys or chimpanzees that work at AOL... it is, in fact, goats. 15:31:26 AOL UK Support Connecting to server. Please wait... 15:31:26 AOL UK Support Connected to AOL Live Help server. Rating: 5

[BUZz UK]

put some fucking spaces between the lines and i'll read it...

[BUZz UK]

P.S i hate GAY O L, i'd never use that sack of shit ISP...

[dark0ne]

i hate AOL, it's the most comercialy baught virus on the planet. It invades your comp and put strange files evrywere. I wouldn't have gone through aol for a phone service. Thats just asking for stupidity. we had them at first, and i still use the AIM service, but thats only because of some freinds. man get rid if it fast, before they suck you in to the pit of dispare.

[BUZz UK]

i hate AOL, it's the most comercialy baught virus on the planet. It invades your comp and put strange files evrywere.

lol, that's sooooo true, i used to work in IT, and basically everyone i met in the IT industry hated AOL

[spacelamb]

That's the funniest fucking thing I've read in a long time! 'Could be because I'm baked.....

[God v2.0]

i work for aol, i sell it over the phone, and i sell it good. And the truth is that only about 5% of former/current AOL members are upset with AOL. You only hear the problems with AOL we also include a $50 virus scan program and firewall for FREE!!! And besides our service is very easy to use which can help alot of people, just because you are a computer wiz doesnt mean everyone else is.

So think about this, AOL has over 40 MILLION customers in the US alone........alot of customers for a company thats complete shit right?

Now I admit alot of their policies are kinda sleezy but give me an example of an ISP that isnt completely evil in that respect, i have quest DSL at both of my houses and i get variable speeds (which is bull cause i pay for 512k and sometimes i get 384 and even 256) also the other one is a 1.5m connection with an external modem, and it was the hardest shit to get setup EVER, i had to call tech support about 50 times and i finally got it to work on my own.

So just trying to get a little perspective out there for you all. There are more people out there who hate AOL than hate any other ISP but that is simply because AOL is the largest dial up ISP (or was for a long long time, i remember when the only way to access the internet was through AOL, back when i was running aol 4.0 )which was my favorite.

[BobBong]

AOL is the spawn of Evil, you should all know this already...

Why else would they fire off free trial disks like condoms?

Because they know people have been annoyed with AOL for years..

[stonerneedsrealweed]

aol assholeson line

[Swizzy89304]

i work for aol, i sell it over the phone, and i sell it good. And the truth is that only about 5% of former/current AOL members are upset with AOL. You only hear the problems with AOL we also include a $50 virus scan program and firewall for FREE!!!

Ha, yeah, you fuckin need it with AOL aswell!
Our accounts have been hacked into a few times in the past (we have norton antivirus, antispam, firewall, PG2 and a anti-spyware thingymajic that scans the PC progressively. And our email accounts have still been hacked into, and several thousand spam emails sent out before AOL got their asses together and decided to ban us.
Then we have to sit on the phone for an hour, before a Tech-Support goat decides to activate our account again.