Help please!

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Hey everybody.

I just applied for a job at the City, and I had to agree to a drug test (and regular drug tests). I need to know how I can keep toking but still pass these drug tests. I really need help on this, I have no intention on divorcing my beloved Mary Jane for a job. I can stand being seperated from her until I get the job, but I won't give her up for my tenure as a golf course attendant...

Any help is greatly appreciated,

Jake


P.S. I know this belongs in the drug testing forum, but no one's helping there...Help!

[VoidLivesOn]

Wow regular drug tests? Sure thats the kind of job you wanna have? Cause everytime you smoke your ganna have to worry about getting it out your system whenever the test comes around.Pretty soon you'll get sick of one or the other.

[Faultydesign]

I reccomend, buying clean urine.

[TipTIP]

read up about the jello method.

[toothpaste100]

Get a job that isn't being run by assholes.

[hihigh]

this thread is packed with useful information, lol.


sorry penguin, i duno man!

[d00d989]

penguin, theres loads of decent jobs where you only have to take a test when u first get the job. find one of those

having to worry about those drug tests every time u smoke will suck big dick

[BigHomie]

Hey everybody.

I just applied for a job at the City, and I had to agree to a drug test (and regular drug tests). I need to know how I can keep toking but still pass these drug tests. I really need help on this, I have no intention on divorcing my beloved Mary Jane for a job. I can stand being seperated from her until I get the job, but I won't give her up for my tenure as a golf course attendant...

Any help is greatly appreciated,

Jake

P.S. I know this belongs in the drug testing forum, but no one's helping there...Help!

do you have any idea how often you will be tested after the initial test? will you have any kind of warning before each test?

[1234abcd]

yeah , listen to DOOD989...pre employment drug screens...any others..fuck that

[slipknotpsycho]

well i can give you some tips (aside from buying detox agents that are specifially designed to make you pass your test) i can't guarantee any will work 100% just myths i've picked up (some aren't quite so myths) first drink alot of water all the time... and the few days before your piss test, especially make sure you drink atleast 1 gal a day, and you are going to have to work out.. hard.. i'm pretty sure i heard that the more you sweat the faster it's getting out of your system can't really hurt to try.. night before the pisstest take 3-4 AZO cranberry pills (they're originally for urinary tract infections and stuff but i've heard more rumors about these things cleaning piss then any other conventional home method) or my personal favorite... soak your dick in bleach.. may not clean your system out.. but when you whip it out make sure they see it and say.. "man.. i knew i shoulda tested that girl before i fucked her" i betcha they won't even wanna touch the cup lol....

or, you could always just buy someone's clean piss... you could also quit for a few months... some places around here say you have to agree to an inital test, then you are subject to more testing, but in reality they give you like 2-3 tests and if you come up perfectly clean, and don't act like a dope-fiend on your job then they don't test you anymore...

[Up In Smoke 420]

I heard you could piss in a glass and let it evaporate then scrape the bottom stuff that's left on the glass as piss. But I forgot how they made it into a liquid again. Anybody know? If you could do this then just go clean for a month and piss a shit load for you have enough of that stuff to pass like 10 tests.

[slipknotpsycho]

I heard you could piss in a glass and let it evaporate then scrape the bottom stuff that's left on the glass as piss. But I forgot how they made it into a liquid again. Anybody know? If you could do this then just go clean for a month and piss a shit load for you have enough of that stuff to pass like 10 tests.
i'm pretty sure most poeple would do this except, even in a fridge piss will only be 'good' for so long.. pretty much safe to say that even if you took two pisses before you smoked again, by the time the 2nd test came around the piss would show 'inconclusive results' and you'd just have to take it again..

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

Come on, guys. This job is the only one I'm going to be able to get until I turn 16 in August.

I need tips on cleaning my system out, not people telling me to find another job.

What's this jello method someone was talking about?

[Kaya420]

If nothing comes down Ill send you 10 Jars of clean piss, for a nice new bong :)

[420purplehaze420]

dont take a job that makes you pee for them, or use a buddys clean piss

[TheAtomicPunk]

yah, same, kinda; I am applying for my first job (im 16) run by the City of Arlington. There's this new small waterpark opening and im gonna try to get concessions (8 an hour, good for first job)...ne way, it said on the application "For some positions a drug and alcohol test may be required". I am assuming anyone applying for lifeguard would have to, but not concessions right??? My parents said i may have to get a physical sayin i don't have hepititis or any of those diseases (cuz i'll be handing out food), but they wont test my piss for cheeba will they?


The doctors do NOT test you for drugs or alchohol during your physical, they only ask you if you drink and/or smoke. Just say no and you're alright :D


I would never get a job with the city. Monthly drug tests are not my thing. Also, do you have to join the union? Cuz they always take a huge portion out of your paycheck... fuckin Union...(sorry for anyone that works for them, but I hate union fee's)

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

It's working for the city, and all city/state/gov't employees have to get drug tested. Now, please help me!

[TheAtomicPunk]

They have pills for this, I had a few but they got flushed. Ask around school, they prolly have them at headshops I'm sure. Otherwise start running, get on a treadmill, it's good for you anyways :D Not much else I know :/

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

B-b-b-b-bump.

[slipknotpsycho]

dude the only 100% method is detox agents you can buy online or buy from headshops.. there's no 100% safe home method.. if you do decide to go the safe route, they aren't cheap.... a 1 time dose (depending on the product it can be a cup or more of some funky liquid or up to 30 or so pills, if i were you i'd go with pills) can easily run 70-80 bucks for the good ones (don't go cheap, i have a saying about the cheap ones, you go cheap you go jail, tho you wont' actually go to jail, it's just a saying)... if you do decide on them, make sure you open the box atleast a couple of days before the test, because they all have diffrent instructions and they have to be followed exactly to make sure they work right, if you just sit there taking all the pills while sipping water you're going to fail your test.. also, when shopping for your detox agent.. look for the ones with a 200% or more money back gaurantee, because if they didn't work, they wouldnt' be making money, matter of fact they'd be paying out double what they take in..

[Mary Jane x3]

go to GNC they have all sorts a shit to do the job

[TipTIP]

gelatin.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

I know what Jello is, man. What do I DO with it?

They don't allow minors in GNC.

I don't have the cash for a real detox kit...

[Microsoft Certified]

hmmmm lol just when u piss colloect the urine inthe middle of the stream nothe end or the beginning