Ever caught somebody wanking?

[mrdevious]

Yes, I know this could go in the sexuality board, but I figured this is more of a humerous true-stories type thread than a sexual one. so anyway, i was just wondering if you have any (funny) stories of catching someone masturbating, because upon reading the crap stories thread I just suddenly remembered this thing that happened to me....

So, when I was 15 I was in a Wendy's. I had to take a leak so I walked into the bathroom. just as I entered this guy at the urinal just jumps out of his skin, zips up, and runs out looking embarrased. I thought "well that's weired" and I walked to the urinal to take a piss and surely enough, it was full of the guys seemen. *insert vomiting emoticon that doesn't exist here*

Then one time, when I was 15 also, me and my best friend rented "embrace of the vampire" just for the numerous scenes of nudity lol (hey, we were 15, it was a big deal:p ). So we watched it that night, then the next day I packed up to head home. Just after I left the house I realized I forgot something so I went back to get it, and I just walked in the front door and he was downstairs lying on the couch, in view from the doorway, wanking to the movie lol. though instead of being intelligent and just zipping up quickly like any sensible person, he just starts cursing a blue-streak while fumbling in a panic to get his pants up. I just left and pretended it didn't happen.

[friendowl]

i was kicking back at my homies house.
there was like 15 of us just getting high and talking shit
this one fool we call whisper was sitting on the floor playing
some game from sega.[it was along time ago]
just then my big homie chato storms in the room.
his pants are down his dick is hard and hes laughing
all the while hes nutting on my homies back.this guy chato was a nut.
it made me laugh cuz they always do gross shit to each other.

[drinksmokesleep]

Thats just down right sick Freindowl.................................. but funny

[homemade]

at a party of like 300 i saw a guy sooo f-ing drunk, he was just plasterd..and he was flobbin the bishop...right in the middle of the party...a friend of mine,she recorded him, and showed him the next morning...

[beachguy in thongs]

Thats just down right sick Freindowl.................................. but funny
Do I have to repeat the story???

I'd rather just quote drinksmokesleep.

:smokin:

[UIowaHawk17]

Yeah I've caught my brother before. He was in our basement with the lights off and head phones on infront of the computer so when I went down to watch tv he didn't notice me til I walked up to him and kicked the back of his chair.

[Psychonaut28]

I've had wayyyy too many fucked up experiences with sex/masterbation due to being out of my mind on drugs. Thats all i gots to say about that.

[TresLeches]

I used to live in the baptist student union at LSU (c'mon, it was free and all I had to do was clean the place and pretend I love God a whole lot more than I probably do). I had two roomates. We got fuzzy porn really late at night (spice or playboy, but no subscription) I walked into the living room and caught my roomate COMPLETELY naked in the MIDDLE of the living room:p It was so awkward because he had nowhere to go or nowhere to hide. I was just like "hey uh..." and he just stood up and went over to the couch and tried to act like nothing had just happened.

[Easy Roller]

i was kicking back at my homies house.
there was like 15 of us just getting high and talking shit
this one fool we call whisper was sitting on the floor playing
some game from sega.[it was along time ago]
just then my big homie chato storms in the room.
his pants are down his dick is hard and hes laughing
all the while hes nutting on my homies back.this guy chato was a nut.
it made me laugh cuz they always do gross shit to each other.


Dude that's not good... But I'd bust my gut open laughing if I saw that...



My old mate Ben used to have famously long third leg....His party peice was to slap you round the face while you were sitting on a chair trying to talk with girls....


He did it to this guy we knew....slapped him across his chops :D :D :D

[friendowl]

dickslapping is the best.
it sounds louder than you think

[pogmoasal1]

i had freind who is called big pipe (for the unit and cause he smokes alot)
he was fuckin this girl and slaped her across the face. she had a red mark in the shape of a dick on her face the rest of the day

[notrightquite]

Yeah ... my friend nutted on my foot once in the middle of the night for some reason ... So I said "Dude ... why'd you nut on my foot?" and he said "fuck man, sorry."

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

I've never caught anyone...But...

One time I was at a party with all my homies and a bunch of girls, and this one girl was really really fucking horny, but she had a bf who wasn't there and I guess she's really loyal.

So, she took my cell phone and hers, set hers to vibrate, and went to the bathroom. She just asked to borrow mine, she didn't tell me what she was going to do with it. So, a few minutes later, we hear her making ALL sorts of noise in the bathroom. When she came out she was breathing hard and just tossed me my phone back. I checked the calls out and her number was on there something like 80 times...

[Paige]

So I said "Dude ... why'd you nut on my foot?" and he said "fuck man, sorry."
hahahaha!!!! that is hilarious... i can just see that happening.. haha.. hha..HA!:D

[dj defibrillator]

I've been caught in the act twice. Once by the pops and once by my roommate. In retrospect, they're kind of blessings in disguise, as you can't help but get more comfortable with your body. Plus, after getting caught its like, "well... I guess I don't have any reason to worry about making sure my boxers are buttoned around you."

[slipknotpsycho]

ok first i have to say this... my mom is a psycho-on-weed type of mom... like the mere mention of weed and she'll be bitching for hours.. anytime she sees anyone of us (me my brother, my wife, all her husbands kids, and so on) being secretive to each other she automaticly suspects it's weed..

ok so we had to go to my mom's for a month or so when hurricane rita hit, me and my wife were sleeping on my brothers bed, he was sleeping on our cot (he had a bigger bed then we did so we switched) well all our stuff was in his closet too, which the cot was right in front of, so my wife needed something.. she decided to look into a hole in the door to see if he was awake, cuz if he wasn't there was no sense in going in there as she couldnt' get to what she needed anyways.... well i see her covering her mouth, face red as hell, like she's about to explode, she manages to run to the living room before letting it out... she whispers to me in front of my mom (big mistake) of what she saw... "i was going to get <insertitem> and i decided to peek in to see if <brothersname> was up yet so i could get it, well i look in and i see him, awake, with the cover held under his chin and it's shaking really fast." being a guy, i already knew what was up, since he was covered, i figured i might as well go look to make sure she's not just jumping to conclusions, i go peek in, and yup he's doing it just like she described, now i'm trying not to burst out laughing... i run back to the livng room, and by this time my mom is more then just curious, she demands to know what's going on.. so we catch her up
mom: maybe he's just scratching
me: ~shakes head smiling~ nooooooooo....
wife: that furiously?
now my mom turns tomatoe red and starts laughing too, we don't go back there, just let him finish up, and all 3 of us end up staring at him funny... later on (not sure, but it was days later) i was talking to him, and i told him what all happened that day, and that we told mom.. he got pissed off, but once i explained that she was back into the suspecting us of drugs thing, he knew i had to tell her, or we'd all pay for it in the end.

[P.E.N.G.U.I.N.]

lmfao Nice one <insert slipnotpsycho's name>

[grasshopper420]

LMAO penny that cellphone story kicks ass well ummm i dont thinki have any masturbation stories but i dohave marshmallows ..... who wants one?

[the image reaper]

one night, I went into our local laundromat, just after dark ... when I walked in the door, a blonde girl was desperatley trying to hold down a washing machine, it was out of balance, and rocking all over the place, making quite a racket ... I started to step over, and help her, when I realized she was grinding her crotch into the front corner of the washing machine ... I watched her fucking this washing machine for probably 5 minutes, and figured, what the fuck? ... I pulled out my cock and started jacking off ... she finally turned around, saw me sitting 10 feet away, jerking my stuff, .... she totally freaked, ran out of the laundromat, red in the face, embarrassed all to hell, left her clothes in the washer ..... :p
the best part, a couple of months later, Im invited to an aquaintence's wedding .... guess who the Bride is ???? ................ :dance:
I am such a sick fucker .... lol ... :pimp:

[Garden Knowm]

I dont know if I would say "catch"..
But my dogs wank it all the time

[Its a Plant]

haha image reeper, straight from the pages of penthouse, eh?

One time awhile ago, I was over at a buddies house, and it was a successful night of drinking, so that left me near passed out in his room. He goes off into the other room with the computer, and like 5 min. later I stumble into the room only to find this very horny friend standing up, completely naked, right in front of the computer spanking it. He looks over at me, which at this point I was on the ground laughing. Instead of stopping, he just keeps at it. It was so damn funny.

[justinsane]

one night, I went into our local laundromat, just after dark ... when I walked in the door, a blonde girl was desperatley trying to hold down a washing machine, it was out of balance, and rocking all over the place, making quite a racket ... I started to step over, and help her, when I realized she was grinding her crotch into the front corner of the washing machine ... I watched her fucking this washing machine for probably 5 minutes, and figured, what the fuck? ... I pulled out my cock and started jacking off ... she finally turned around, saw me sitting 10 feet away, jerking my stuff, .... she totally freaked, ran out of the laundromat, red in the face, embarrassed all to hell, left her clothes in the washer ..... :p
the best part, a couple of months later, Im invited to an aquaintence's wedding .... guess who the Bride is ???? ................ :dance:
I am such a sick fucker .... lol ... :pimp:

thats sweet dude

[infinitereverie]

i've never caught anyone... though i have to say its something of a fantasy of mine...

[Hollandica]

the father of a friend of mine does it all the time, in the living room with a napkin that's always in his chair. he's been caught wanking at least three or four times, i saw him hiding away his unbucked belt, unzipped fly and his boner with the napkin once. gross.

[MaryJaneScott]

I dont know if I would say "catch"..
But my dogs wank it all the time


GK... I think I may have found your dog.... Please come pick him up... he's making a terrible mess on the rug. LOVE! :thumbsup:
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1675517/

[harmonicminor]

I've never caught anyone...But...

One time I was at a party with all my homies and a bunch of girls, and this one girl was really really fucking horny, but she had a bf who wasn't there and I guess she's really loyal.

So, she took my cell phone and hers, set hers to vibrate, and went to the bathroom. She just asked to borrow mine, she didn't tell me what she was going to do with it. So, a few minutes later, we hear her making ALL sorts of noise in the bathroom. When she came out she was breathing hard and just tossed me my phone back. I checked the calls out and her number was on there something like 80 times...

Hey you dont happen to know her cell phone number do you??? :thumbsup::D

[orangeman]

I caught my cousin masturbating to porno on mute when I got out of the shower..I just turned me head like "dude" lol, and he was so embarassed, damn I'm burnt xD.....!!!

[harmonicminor]

I just hope my gf doesn't catch me late at night buffin the bishop. She would say "so thats why we hardly ever have sex?" . lol

[TheSmokinMan]

I have never caught any1 wanking and i would never want to but i do get to watch a fattyish bird wank most nights on the web:D :rasta: yo yooo

[Toker4LifeVT]

i've never caught anyone and unless its a girl i dont ever want to thank you very much!!

[imagoober]

i got one! i didnt catch him cause he didnt try hiding it but last october i was in jail for a dui, i was put in the detox cell with four others, well this fucked up crack head who was about 35 happend to be in the cell out of the blue just started jerkin off right there infront of everone, then he passed out for like five minutes and when he woke up he went right back at it! i was lucky enough to get out right when he got going again! that was a very interesting night!:eek:

[robert42]

on holiday my m8 got v.v.v.drunk and passed out so i shit in a ashtray and put it on his chest and dick slapped him on his forehead and when he woke up he knocked over the ashtray (no fuckin joke) and there was a strange choclate substance on his chest and covers he was so drunk he just went back to bed.

and then the joke turned on me having to sleep next to him SMELLING of my own shit, god ill never 4get that.

ALSO

on holiday my friend was soo sick in the bucket, so being the goodboy i am lol i went to empty the bucket over the balcony little did i know that there was someone sitting below us this big black guy who we called MR T (HE LOOKED JUST LIKE HIM) he called the holiday reps and we got 1 verbal warning had to pay a dry cleaning bill too. was a fucking joke

[HMD]

I caught my ex boyfriend wanking once. We were arguing and hadn't had sex for weeks. I saw him masturbate to orgasm one night, luckily he didn't see me. I have to say I was shocked at first, then I felt incredibly horny. I love the thought of men tossing off. It's a bit of a taboo for us girls. I dream that my next lover will lose his inhibitions with me and wank whenever he likes. In my face, when I am asleep, when we talk horny together....Mmm I like the sound of all that...It's not disgusting it's bloody gorgeous!

[harmonicminor]

wow hmd,
if that avatar is you then I am getting started right now baby :-). yum

[brendan]

apparantly my mate can suck his own dick, and someone caught him at it, sounds odd but ive seen him bend down that low (fully clothed)

[HMD]

Hiya harmonicminor, that's me, I mean this is me...lol...Get started all you like babes, I'll sit here and watch on me beanbag :)

Hi Brendan, I can bite my own toe nails, does that count? :)

I have seen men masturbate on cam loads of times and Wow! I have seen some strange things on cam..lol...a gay aussie, wearing a skirt and heels inserting a bottle up his anal passage..Hmm!

[eddievanzant]

I was staying over at a friend's house and we always wrestle n' shit (we actually are in wrestling at school but we still wrestle at his house) and I picked up the pillow from his bed to hit him and there was an empty bottle of lotion so I laughed my ass off and told some other friends.

[eddievanzant]

I caught my ex boyfriend wanking once. We were arguing and hadn't had sex for weeks. I saw him masturbate to orgasm one night, luckily he didn't see me. I have to say I was shocked at first, then I felt incredibly horny. I love the thought of men tossing off. It's a bit of a taboo for us girls. I dream that my next lover will lose his inhibitions with me and wank whenever he likes. In my face, when I am asleep, when we talk horny together....Mmm I like the sound of all that...It's not disgusting it's bloody gorgeous!Ahahahahaha I should buy a plane ticket.

[graph]

Ahahahahaha I should buy a plane ticket.

To her location, or farther away from it?

[geoffrowley19]

ahha good one graph

[eddievanzant]

To her location, or farther away from it?
To her location.

[andruejaysin]

I used to have a girlfriend I caught all the time, but she was doing it on purpose, so maybe that doesn't count.

[Garden Knowm]

nice video... not my dog.. my dog has a different technique.. plus I never told him to stop.. and he always busted a NUT..

MARY
I love you

[BabySnookums]

well my husband says that i wake up sometimes while he's wankin and stare at him, then lay back down...or sometimes mumble stuff....but this is all in a dead sleep so does that count?:dance: