Can someone please answers these questions. I am too stewpid.

[Whos Carl]

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they still tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow (only to be troubled and insecure)?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do ..."practice"?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

What's another word for thesaurus?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

[BabyFacedAbortion]

hahaahah.

[Easy Roller]

great...I'll have to use some of those

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

Too many questions to answer :)


But fuckin' sweet man :D

[Nochowderforyou]

My solution to everything: Kill everyone! :D

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

My solution to everything: Kill everyone! :D

Can I be first? :)

[LOVElife]

How does a Boneless Chicken Stand Up???

Why do they put a sell by date of crouton packets, its stale bread for fuck sake!

[iliketosmokeweed]

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


lol , classic !

[UnViaje]

ever wonder..

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is
made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a
"penny" for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What was ham cured of?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who do they call?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

....think about that

[Az.]

My solution to everything: Kill everyone! :D

I used to know a guy who once said that to me.....and its true.....its the solution to pretty much every problem.....it has become part of my philosophy

its also weird that my music is on random and PanterA comes on when I reply to your post.....Heresy....awsome song :)

lmao at those.....questions.
:D :thumbsup: :dance:

[beachguy in thongs]

Jeez, these questions are too easy. They're one right after the other, in a column, exactly the way Mr. Jung said they would be.

[UnViaje]

Jeez, these questions are too easy. They're one right after the other, in a column, exactly the way Mr. Jung said they would be.

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the
core of the earth?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why is it called 'Alcoholics Anonymous' when the first thing you do is
stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

Why are they called 'stairs' inside but 'steps' outside?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why does mineral water that "has trickled through mountains for
centuries" have a "use by" date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp no-one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to
their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

Is a cocktail party an affair where a man gets stiff, a woman gets
tight, and they return home to find that neither is either?

food for thought:smokin:

[Nochowderforyou]

I used to know a guy who once said that to me.....and its true.....its the solution to pretty much every problem.....it has become part of my philosophy

its also weird that my music is on random and PanterA comes on when I reply to your post.....Heresy....awsome song :)

lmao at those.....questions.
:D :thumbsup: :dance:

Ha ha! So true indeed. I would never kill someone, but if I had a choice on who to kill and get away with it, I'd have a short list. :)

Every Pantera song is good! I just learned War Nerve and Yesterday Don't Mean Shit on guitar. I can finally play the stuff I never could when I wanted to. Now I'm like, "whoaaaaaaa slow down there!" :thumbsup:

[Az.]

Ha ha! So true indeed. I would never kill someone, but if I had a choice on who to kill and get away with it, I'd have a short list. :)

Every Pantera song is good! I just learned War Nerve and Yesterday Don't Mean Shit on guitar. I can finally play the stuff I never could when I wanted to. Now I'm like, "whoaaaaaaa slow down there!" :thumbsup:


lol yea.....i actually meant "the solutions to all the worlds problems would be for all humans to die." but yea I'm the same I would never kill anyone....but if i could choose for some people to die tomorrow......i would have a few names :) harsh....but i believe they are doing more bad than good.

And yea the vast majority of Pantera does rule...."Yesterday don't mean shit" is one of my favorite songs by them......and uplift.....and godamn electric.....lol
Awsome that you can play them dude! bet it sounds sick!!
:)

[UnViaje]

i'm just a warmhearted misanthrope

[mrdevious]

Just because I'm no fun....



Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

In the case of sun-induced bleaching of eumelanic (dark) black hair, hydrogen peroxide and superoxides (free radicals) induced by the UV component of sunlight,act to disrupt the melanin "granules" eventually to a degree where the products of disruption are no longer black.

Unlike hair, the skin is alive, The melanocytes of the epidermis are stimulated to produce greater numbers of melanin "granules" (melanosomes that actually are much more complicated than granules). The melanosomes are transferred in increased numbers from the melanocytes to keratinocytes of the epidermis causing the darkening (tanning) of the skin.


Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Because opening the mouth stretches the lips making them very tight, which eliminates the flesh's ability to move around, making the application easier.


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Because whether people like to admit it or not, psychics are just scammers who are full of shit.


Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

I blame the Irish.


Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

They never seem to get it down 100%


Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

To start the shutdown process.


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is
made with real lemons?

Because real lemons acidity, which helps eat away at grease. however lemon juice should be made of real lemons, if there was any justice in this world.


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Once again, I blame the Irish.


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

The slower you go, the more of a rush you feel you are in.


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

It's the thrill of the chase that's so great.


When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

nobody, they just throw in some extra rat bones.


Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

and how did noah save every insect in existence? it's overall not a very believable story.


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

neurosis over procedure.


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

because then the plane wouldn't fly, and people would be bouncing all over the place upon impact.


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

it's an ancient secret passed down for generations from the first sheep.


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

The Irish are trying to confuse us.


If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

quite often, yes.


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

................ well........................... look over there!


Can you cry under water?

I've also wondered, do we sweat in a hot bath?


How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

throw that person into a group of many random people. if you hear a girl scream, they're important enough.


If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Wishfull thinking.


Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Poor communication between the sandwich and meat industries.


Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a
"penny" for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

The war on drugs.


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?

They have some spiffy robes...


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

So if the pizza boy drops it, it doesn't roll away and nobody has to know.


What was ham cured of?

poor flavour.


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Wheels on luggage weren't going to show up the Russians, so the moon was their first priority.


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?

That saying was invented by an infertile couple.


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Only if they want to be cruel. otherwise they call it a showing.


If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Actually yes, they can legally fire you for that (no joke).


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

So there's no confusion if a movie is shown on t.v.


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

It creates a very god-like feeling.


If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who do they call?

Coast guard.


Why is bra singular and panties plural?

The inventor of both was dyslexic.

[UnViaje]

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

"I blame the Irish."

lmao

[Az.]

Some good answers there.....

however im going to join in your No Fun-ness and point out that you dont put mascara on your lips.....its eye lash shit....lol

And i thought it was called rush hour because everyone is in a rush to get to and from work......only there are too many people trying to get to the same place resulting in a traffic jam.

[Swizzy89304]

Is a cocktail party an affair where a man gets stiff, a woman gets tight, and they return home to find that neither is either?

Huh?

[Swizzy89304]

and how did noah save every insect in existence? it's overall not a very believable story

Whats to say he DID save every animal in existence? He didnt manage to save the dinosaurs.

Oh wait, that was a friggin great rock.