suicide

[devils dream]

no doubt by posting this thread i'm gonna get two kinds of responses. the dont do it people, and the hey if thats what you want to do people.
but really i just want to know how many of you guys have felt like or tried suicide?
i never thought i could even attempt suicide thought i'd never be that depressed or feel so alone but i do, and i have no idea how to get my head out of this black hole, where the only way out seems to be death. Then never again would i have to deal with all the shit life throws at me, :( sorry for the deppressing tone of this thread.

[siSTARindigo]

I totally get where your coming from. I have definitly thought about it, tried it, and thought about it some more. I am not a religious freak. But I do now believe that suicide is NOT an option. People die when they are supposed to, whether it is at age 2 or age 102. This is the only reason I don't believe in capitol punishment. Everyone has an opinion, but nobody knows for a fact what happens. You say it will be over for good, but what if it isn't. What if reincarnation does exist, and "giving up" causes you next life to be worse? And what is god does exist, your human brain may not care, but you soul might be very ashamed having to face god after breaking your promise to come here and do whatever it is you were supposed to do here.

Do you have kids? I know some of those other things I said might make you say whatever. But if you have kids, they deserve to have you here.

Just my thought. I can empethize with you though, really.

Eva

[siSTARindigo]

I just read your profile, I am a stay at home bored mom too. If your ever want to chat my email is [email protected]

Eva

[devils dream]

i do have kids but my little girl wants to live with her dad and he could provide for them much better than i can. materialistic things arent everything i know but they would get every thing they need from him, and as for emotionally i'm a wreck moody and misserable all the time i get cross easily and cry alot no child needs to see their mum like that day in and day out, it cant be a healthy environment for them to grow up in.maybe it'd be better for them if i wasnt around screwing stuff up.

[siSTARindigo]

I promise that isn't true. I worked for an agency that took kids from families that had problems. Worst job ever. But no matter what those parents had done to their kids, the kids still wanted to go home. They didn't want to be taken. They missed their parents.

It is normal for your kids to play each parent against eachother. Especially if the parents aren't together. You tell them no, and they want their daddy. They all do it. I know that doesn't help, my 3 year old wants daddy all day while daddy is at work and I am being me. Especially when I am dry. I have cried because "my son doesn't love me", or he "wants grandma more than me". I know how you feel. But please realize that this is all in your head. It is your depression, or anxiety, or whatever. We all have demons in our head that try to convince us of things.

No matter what, you gave birth to them, they are your's. That can never be replaced. Taking that from them will leave a HUGE void in their life.

Just do what you can to recognize your temperment, and do your best to control it. And never ever give up. You just can't, it isn't about you anymore.

And what about your mom or dad? Do you love them? Can you imagine what it would be like as a mom to loose one of your children? That is not natural. It happens, but it isn't supposed to be that way.

Eva

[beachguy in thongs]

no doubt by posting this thread i'm gonna get two kinds of responses. the dont do it people, and the hey if thats what you want to do people.

Wrong!
I'm less of a "wait-and-see" guy. I don't think of consequences, just understand them.

Every single person on the planet comprehends suicide and knows it's consequences, so therefore, every single person must have thought about it.

Damn, Man!, why the fuck would someone take themselves out of a world where all they have to do is turn on the computer to get anywhere, or anything, they want? Just so they can be buried, cremated, or incapacitated? Then, they can't even turn on the computer.

[devils dream]

i'm still here and i guess thats coz i'm fighting the biggest fight i've ever had, living when i want to give up.
it's hard to believe you mean any thing to any one when your sat alone its too late to call anyone and when you dont want to burden them especially not in the middle of the night. its just you and your thoughts and feelings gong round in your head and all you want is to stop it, the only reason i'm still alive is because after taking enough alcohol and anti depressants and pain killers to put myself to sleep (before finishing what i started) i was woken by a police man holding a torch at my face in the early hours my friend called them said he was worried about me,so they came to check.
i was out of it and just told em i was drunk they were happy with that and told me my friend was with them could they let him up seeing the look in his face and knowing that as a cannabis lover and dealer, it must have been bad for him to call the police usually they are to be avoided at all cost.
he see's something in me which at the moment i dont, i'm hoping he is right!

[brewdy]

depression is painful ... it is an epedemic in the US. One thing i'm sorry
i must tell you ... many survivors or suicide say they felt a feelng of
"eternal damnation" related to their actions. Hang in there, they're
tons of us suffering ... you're in good company. Remember ....
you won't like "eternal damnation".
Rob

[Stfu its Matthew]

wow that kinda sucks maybe i should be more nicer to my mom i never really thought about that even tho i am really nice maybe i should just be nicer or somthing wow... this kinda opened my eyes up



depression is not a laughing matter though ive had it but just tell urself everythings ok u have a life to live for and u want to see ur kids grow up and or want to have kids couse i know i do and just think of the happy times and like uhhhhh kinda try to avoid thinking of bad times

[arcticspyder]

no doubt by posting this thread i'm gonna get two kinds of responses. the dont do it people, and the hey if thats what you want to do people.
but really i just want to know how many of you guys have felt like or tried suicide?
i never thought i could even attempt suicide thought i'd never be that depressed or feel so alone but i do, and i have no idea how to get my head out of this black hole, where the only way out seems to be death. Then never again would i have to deal with all the shit life throws at me, :( sorry for the deppressing tone of this thread.
Look, the only real answer that I can give you is, YES I think about suicide every single day, all day. I have a chronic illness and everyday it is a major struggle to keep the pill bottle upright. My own family has actually encouraged this becaue they reallize the level of pain that I suffer from. The words everyone always tels you "hang in there, things will get better." are simply bullshit because they don't understand and they never will. But what I have learned and I strongly believe is that, what we want out of life we must take, we must never give up, we must never lay down, we must never quit. Yes life sucks, yes lonely sucks, yes chronic accute pain sucks. WE MUST NEVER STOP TRYING. Please listen when people tell you, hold your head as high as you can, get out, do something anything, just don't sit and dwell. I wish you only the best, the struggle you fight is not yours alone.

[Stfu its Matthew]

Look, the only real answer that I can give you is, YES I think about suicide every single day, all day. I have a chronic illness and everyday it is a major struggle to keep the pill bottle upright. My own family has actually encouraged this becaue they reallize the level of pain that I suffer from. The words everyone always tels you "hang in there, things will get better." are simply bullshit because they don't understand and they never will. But what I have learned and I strongly believe is that, what we want out of life we must take, we must never give up, we must never lay down, we must never quit. Yes life sucks, yes lonely sucks, yes chronic accute pain sucks. WE MUST NEVER STOP TRYING. Please listen when people tell you, hold your head as high as you can, get out, do something anything, just don't sit and dwell. I wish you only the best, the struggle you fight is not yours alone.

damn that was nice truly said man
couldnt have said it better my self :thumbsup:

[stephielamb]

just remeember theres always someone worse off than you. like little children dying of starvation.

[beachguy in thongs]

Or stephielamb trying to smoke a cigarette...

[stephielamb]

shut up :stoned: :p

[Jimmicrackedcorn]

Accept that you are on your own, your experience of life, even tho other ppl's opinions may change your outlook, is completely unique to you, meaning u r in complete solitude, you could never get any1 to understand depression, because you cannot share ure emotions with ppl, good or bad, cuz you are alone. those around you will die, or move away and time will make them but a blip in ure memory as will every other experience you have up until the point you kick the bucket. Instead of describing depression as a single thing, try and look at why ure depressed, you feel alone? well what made you think you weren't in the first place? what changed that made you go from thinkin you were important to ppl, and had something to live for, to makin the decision that its not? And if you can't deal with being alone, and you don't like accepting that you don't mean a fat lot to whatever the point of existance is, then ure best bet is to kill ureself, but I believe the only reason that its an epidemic in the 'developed' countries, is because we're fed from a very early age, bollox, about self-worth and self-importance that you are put here to drive towards sumfin (usually a successful career and a loving wife with 2.4 kids, picture white pickett fences) but that is not life, that is a fuckin tv dreamland, and it doesn't happen, life is savage, completely and utterly confusing and this scares some ppl cuz they have the delusion that they know what to do in life to be happy (cuz they are surrounded by ppl claiming that they're all happy), why things are right and wrong etc.... and the truth is you don't, but you'd rather delude ureself in to thinking you have a grasp on it, when in reality you are as at a whim to whatevers driving you as a pollen grain bein carried on the air currents, you have to deal with ure shit as it comes, and you can't plan for this. Depression or a fear bought on by the realisation you're insignificant?

[Johnny Hempseed]

Well..yeah..I have thought about suicide..especially this past year..
I lost my stepson in an accident..and we spent a week at his bedside hoping..only to end up having him taken off life support..
My niece is battling leukemia..and my uncle is dying of hep c..
So the feeling that life isn't worth the struggle is one I know..
I stick around because I know from past experience that good days are coming...
I stick around because my wife and loved ones need me...
And because I am curious what's around the corner...

[siSTARindigo]

(usually a successful career and a loving wife with 2.4 kids, picture white pickett fences) but that is not life, that is a fuckin tv dreamland, and it doesn't happen, life is savage, completely and utterly confusing and this scares some ppl cuz they have the delusion that they know what to do in life to be happy (cuz they are surrounded by ppl claiming that they're all happy),


The only reason we are supposed to have a successful career to so we are better consumers. We "must go to college", so that we can make as much money as possible, so we can buy as much as possible. It is not a tv dreamland, it it brainwashing. Real happiness doesn't come from stuff. Sure, life would be so much easier, therefore happier with money. But that is only becuase of the system makes it that way. REAL happiness comes from relationships (friends, family, kids, lovers), even relationships with that seed you painstackenly watered, trimmed, and watched grow into an amazing plant. Or listening to music, making music, making art. These things will enlighten you much more than that 50" flatscreen, or that huge diamond ring.

Eva

[siSTARindigo]

sorry, I haven't quite figured out the quote thing yet :P

[Starchild]

You will not always feel this way.Life is ups and downs.I truly feel that at times when I have gain insight about myself was during times of sadness.There are always other answers other than the drastic measure of suicide which is a permenent thing you cannot take back.Then you have the whole thing about coming back and trying to learn the same lessons in your next life.

I will be happy to talk with you and I am certain others here will as well..

Wonderful Blessings to you

[BukDatAss]

Johnny- I'm sorry to hear about the upset in your life but your right there will be better days to come in the near future. I know you said you have a family so just keep them first in your life and hopefully everything will fall into place. :)

[Jimmicrackedcorn]

Totally agree with ya sistaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar, except on the relationships thing, cuz they can cause about as much distress as they do happiness, and plenty of ppl find happiness in solitude rather than society. Real happiness doesn't exist, you're never gonna be 100% dancing in clouds of euphoria, the problem is ppl believe they have rights, that they mean sumthin, so therefore they should be happy and will fall apart at the smallest upset (cuz why me???!!!). Life aint full of ups and downs its one big fuckin tunnel, that ure bein ushered along tryin to piece together the many events ure perceiving, you can construct them to be good or bad dependin on which way u wanna look at it, the problem comes from takin advice from ppl, listenin too and respecting certain ppl, this fills ure head with all sorts of pre-conceptions(brainwashing, truths u believe are true without puttin to much thought in to why u believe them, or seeing proof), which were formed that long ago that you will rarely question the validity of them, but you know they must be right (think about the 'basics' of morale right and wrong) theres no set way to bein content/happy/to lead a 'constructive' life, find solace in the fact you can do whatever the fuck you want with ure time but the world around you still spins, but you are completely powerless to stopping everything that may cause you distress, so deal with it whichever way ure comfortable with, that includes suicide. I'm not tellin you an answer of any sort, jus statin that life throws a lot of shite at you, and you can hear as many times as you want 'Hey come on its worth it, look at all the good things' but both those ideas are based on opinion, its up to you to get ureself out of the black hole of thoughts, cuz the universe is much like Dr. Denis Leary and his 'Shut the fuck up' method of psychiatry. You can piss and moan all you want, but actually start prying in to the why's? of ure depression, and try and change it, and ure attitude towards that negative area in ure life will also change. Yeh ppl will be there to giv u another point of view, but it will always boil down to ure perception of that event, and this perception is the only one that really matters.

[siSTARindigo]

I should have said relationships, and experiences.

Eva

[manolo]

I feel for your predicament, I belive at one point or another we all hit these lows but if for no other reason suicide should no be an option because of the shitty life it would leave your kid. Think about it, what a shitty cross for a kid to bear and all behind no fault of their own. A mother with issues is way better then a mother who took her own life!
I truly believe that those bad experiences life deals us only make us stronger....In order to make steel it must first be forged in fire. Please continue to fight and remember those buds will pop up tomorrow.

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

no doubt by posting this thread i'm gonna get two kinds of responses. the dont do it people, and the hey if thats what you want to do people.
but really i just want to know how many of you guys have felt like or tried suicide?
i never thought i could even attempt suicide thought i'd never be that depressed or feel so alone but i do, and i have no idea how to get my head out of this black hole, where the only way out seems to be death. Then never again would i have to deal with all the shit life throws at me, :( sorry for the deppressing tone of this thread.trust me, there is no end. death will only eliminate your participation in the physical life during these times, your misery wont just magically disappear when you leave your body at death, and in fact it migh tworsen when you become nothing but pure raw emotion and thought.

if i didnt know this, i'd have killed myself long ago, i almost wish i never did know this... but hey, whatever, i say you should do what you can to keep yourself happy... i try to do this myself, but it usually ends up adding to the misery... heh, but that's me, not you, you migh thave a better situation than me, i'd like to think no one is worse off, that thought is depressive unto itself... lol

[siSTARindigo]

trust me, there is no end. death will only eliminate your participation in the physical life during these times, your misery wont just magically disappear when you leave your body at death, and in fact it migh tworsen when you become nothing but pure raw emotion and thought.

if i didnt know this, i'd have killed myself long ago, i almost wish i never did know this... but hey, whatever, i say you should do what you can to keep yourself happy... i try to do this myself, but it usually ends up adding to the misery... heh, but that's me, not you, you migh thave a better situation than me, i'd like to think no one is worse off, that thought is depressive unto itself... lol

This is what I know also. Whether or not you believe in GOD, or reincarnation, you have to admit the when someone dies, SOMTHING leaves. And the body begins to deteriorate. right? everyone knows that. So what leaves? I call it my soul, call it whatever you want.

Trust me, taking your own life is a HUGE no-no. Your soul will not be done. And you WILL regret doing it.

If you really want to die, ask for it to happen. Pray for it, and be insane. Skydive, don't wear your seat belt, move to the gulf of mexico for the hurrican season next year. If it is supposed to happen it will. Just so you know, a lot of people have been making the subconcious decision to to "leave", hence all the recent craziness around the world where people are dying in masses. And a lot more will be leaving. Just chill out, get some meds if you have to. It is better than killing yourself.

[Smashingdols]

omg thats all so sad! please dont die! not before u have to at least. by ur last post it sounds like u have at least 1 friend who cares about you and if u care about him or her that should be enough to stop you cause they wouldnt want you to hurt urself....yeah so just take it easy and try and be happy :)

[StOneD.aS.FuK]

trust me, there is no end. death will only eliminate your participation in the physical life during these times, your misery wont just magically disappear when you leave your body at death, and in fact it migh tworsen when you become nothing but pure raw emotion and thought.


wise words.

[Blowen1977Z28]

no doubt by posting this thread i'm gonna get two kinds of responses. the dont do it people, and the hey if thats what you want to do people.
but really i just want to know how many of you guys have felt like or tried suicide?
i never thought i could even attempt suicide thought i'd never be that depressed or feel so alone but i do, and i have no idea how to get my head out of this black hole, where the only way out seems to be death. Then never again would i have to deal with all the shit life throws at me, :( sorry for the deppressing tone of this thread.
life is only a flash in time.
in a year no one will care anyway.

[intheclouds]

Look, the only real answer that I can give you is, YES I think about suicide every single day, all day. I have a chronic illness and everyday it is a major struggle to keep the pill bottle upright. My own family has actually encouraged this becaue they reallize the level of pain that I suffer from. The words everyone always tels you "hang in there, things will get better." are simply bullshit because they don't understand and they never will. But what I have learned and I strongly believe is that, what we want out of life we must take, we must never give up, we must never lay down, we must never quit. Yes life sucks, yes lonely sucks, yes chronic accute pain sucks. WE MUST NEVER STOP TRYING. Please listen when people tell you, hold your head as high as you can, get out, do something anything, just don't sit and dwell. I wish you only the best, the struggle you fight is not yours alone.

I agree with you. I'm 46 and I have been up and down so many times in my life that I lost count a long time ago. But you know I can smoke some good weed and, Hell it's just all a big game. So I will ride this shit to the end. Check my signature, That say's it all right there!

May you have some good times coming to you soon. :thumbsup:

[hinduking]

What will happen after death????
The samething before you born!!!
"life is an oppertunity to feel the dream"
when you look at everything negatively the dreaM BECOMES hard to live....and you wanna wake-up.......why kill yourself when you can do soo may things.....
Think of your self as a king or an emperor for the poor....the ignorant.....the disturbed...
Life is a journey you will find some dead ends.....dont trumble you can always turn-back and start something new....
yes you have to kill your self ....not your life......reborn again in this life.........

[potsmokingnome]

no doubt by posting this thread i'm gonna get two kinds of responses. the dont do it people, and the hey if thats what you want to do people.
but really i just want to know how many of you guys have felt like or tried suicide?
i never thought i could even attempt suicide thought i'd never be that depressed or feel so alone but i do, and i have no idea how to get my head out of this black hole, where the only way out seems to be death. Then never again would i have to deal with all the shit life throws at me, :( sorry for the deppressing tone of this thread.
I could never kill myself, NEVER! Life can allways be worse, is what has got me through all the shit in my life I have endured. When you kill yourself your not only ending your life, you are ending the lives of the ones that Love you, cause when you are a survivour of a suicide your life is never ever the same, you might as well of died as well along with the one you loved so damn much! Lossing to someone to suicide cause 10 fold the grief as it would have coming from a naturual cause. I know this first hand how it feels to be a surviour of suicide. so please when you have these thoughts try to think of the silver linning, or at least think of the ones that love you...

[soxsuk6432]

I used to consider suicidal because I am bipolar and when my OCD got really bad I thought about killing myself because back then I had HOCD which really made me get depressed but I just started smoking and I'm happy now.

[Heathers74]

Let me say this~ suicide is a permanent solution for a temp. problem. About 3 years ago, my brother commited suicide. I miss him every day and wish he was still here, don't make people miss you, it sucks.

[hubblebubble]

you cant kill your spirit

[devils dream]

Look, the only real answer that I can give you is, YES I think about suicide every single day, all day. I have a chronic illness and everyday it is a major struggle to keep the pill bottle upright. My own family has actually encouraged this becaue they reallize the level of pain that I suffer from. The words everyone always tels you "hang in there, things will get better." are simply bullshit because they don't understand and they never will. But what I have learned and I strongly believe is that, what we want out of life we must take, we must never give up, we must never lay down, we must never quit. Yes life sucks, yes lonely sucks, yes chronic accute pain sucks. WE MUST NEVER STOP TRYING. Please listen when people tell you, hold your head as high as you can, get out, do something anything, just don't sit and dwell. I wish you only the best, the struggle you fight is not yours alone.

I've been off line a while trying to get my head straight. and have come to realise alot of things about myself that i haven't been seeing for a long time, that i have the ability to beat this and plenty of reasons to win my fight with depression. i'm getting medical help and working with a community mental health team to help me over come my issues and the practical stuff to. i'm not there yet, not by a long shot but i have reached out for help and am getting it although getting help seemed like admitting defeat it was actually the beginning of my victory. i know now i will get there it will just take time.
i totally agree with alot that people have said on here. thanks!!!!!

[devils dream]

I could never kill myself, NEVER! Life can allways be worse, is what has got me through all the shit in my life I have endured. When you kill yourself your not only ending your life, you are ending the lives of the ones that Love you, cause when you are a survivour of a suicide your life is never ever the same, you might as well of died as well along with the one you loved so damn much! Lossing to someone to suicide cause 10 fold the grief as it would have coming from a naturual cause. I know this first hand how it feels to be a surviour of suicide. so please when you have these thoughts try to think of the silver linning, or at least think of the ones that love you...


thanks!!! i totally agree with you and i even had a list in my pocket of all the people i loved, family and who cared about me so that every time i started to feel as i was i'd take it out and read the names. helped!
i also got me two kittens for company.
xx

[miraz]

Wow. that is really good and i am truly happy for you. Although personally i dont knwo how hard it is. I can only imagine

[devils dream]

Let me say this~ suicide is a permanent solution for a temp. problem. About 3 years ago, my brother commited suicide. I miss him every day and wish he was still here, don't make people miss you, it sucks.

i'm sorry for your loss! and i'm happy to say i haven't been the cause of such pain in the lives of those who know me. and have no desire left to walk that path, lifes full of shit but i can make it better for myself and my kids at least!

[siSTARindigo]

Good for you Devils Dream......

So glad you feel better :)

Taking meds for depression is not defeat. It is survival.....Just like if you had Diabetes you would need meds to live. The brain is the one thing science can't seem to figure out. Depression/Anxiety is real......And good for you......