View Full Version : More aptitudes of the Zodiac
beachguy in thongs
10-26-2005, 09:28 PM
Aries- Find the Shortest Distance between points. (Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!)
Taurus- Drinking an entire pitcher of Beer, drop by drop, from a 2-ounce cup.
Gemini- The hundred-yard dash, turning into a skid.
Cancer- Walking directly across your path several times a day.
Leo- Working hard to achieve their goals- a Leo paces the room like a lion at the zoo, giving that precise impression of cruel and unjust imprisonment (if someone's heartless enough to ignore this behavior, they'll simply dart through their legs when they open the door).
Virgo- Bringing little goodies home. Their unltimate pleasure is smelling your breath (Yumm).
Libra- Inventing ever-more-devious ways to get your attention. Their karmic downfall is resorting to ultimatums.
Scorpio- Will unnerve you with silent, intense gazes. Their life's ambition is to find a soul mate.
Sagittarius- Always bring stangers home for dinner. Their highest expression of Love is holding hands.
Capricorn- Will fool you without you ever knowing it.Their possible profession is a politician.
Aquarius- Make definitive statements, but only with good reason. Their favorite pastime is Observing while unobserved.
Pisces- They have no life ambition, their pet-peeve is missing a nap, they take ultimate pleasure in dozing off, they're moment of truth is waking up, they like to chase shadows, but they can totally identify with a Loved One.
Make sure you leave your sign. Add an example. Thanks.
not that i believe in them but what they have stated is very true about me.
death of sXe
10-27-2005, 12:17 AM
Nice. I dont know about the scorpio thingy, about soulmates. I was under the impression that scorpios where mainly concerned about finding someone to do it with while writing a hit list? Ah well. My Libra description seemed accurate. Kudos. :thumbsup:
ermitonto
10-27-2005, 12:36 AM
I for one think it's rather ridiculous to assume that events in my life are somehow influenced by whichever arrangement of stars appeared to be behind the Sun from the vantage point of Earth at the moment that my mother pushed me out of her vagina. Besides, what is "The hundred-yard dash, turning into a skid" even supposed to mean?
LonerStoner
10-27-2005, 05:46 AM
Besides, what is "The hundred-yard dash, turning into a skid" even supposed to mean?
Totally, I am confuddled
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 10:52 AM
I for one think it's rather ridiculous to assume that events in my life are somehow influenced by whichever arrangement of stars appeared to be behind the Sun from the vantage point of Earth at the moment that my mother pushed me out of her vagina. Besides, what is "The hundred-yard dash, turning into a skid" even supposed to mean?
It isn't the arrangement of the stars, it's the gravitational pull of the moon on your body water when you are born.
esrabalamir
10-27-2005, 11:34 AM
Aries- Find the Shortest Distance between points. (Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!)
Pisces- They have no life ambition, their pet-peeve is missing a nap, they take ultimate pleasure in dozing off, they're moment of truth is waking up, they like to chase shadows, but they can totally identify with a Loved One.
Make sure you leave your sign. Add an example. Thanks.
yes man we dont have any life ambition ...lol thats true we r really lazyyy....LOL
we pisces only feel (very deep feelings) and we dont need "known" subjects;)
for example some ppl use his/her mind for a target, but we know end of this target (with out any logic and with just "deep feelings" )
about sexual life :
pisches men are real casanovas coz only they know how to go into women ' hearts ;) cancers and scorpios follow us w this sub. :)
oh yeah always mystic symbols,mystic lifes ,"no body can understand to pisches"....lol
robert42
10-27-2005, 11:36 AM
im a taurus
DanseMacabre
10-27-2005, 11:36 AM
spam
king kong bong
10-27-2005, 11:39 AM
Pisces- They have no life ambition, their pet-peeve is missing a nap, they take ultimate pleasure in dozing off, they're moment of truth is waking up, they like to chase shadows, but they can totally identify with a Loved One.
yes man we dont have any life ambition ...lol thats true we r really lazyyy....LOL
we pisces only feel (very deep feelings) and we dont need "known" subjects
for example some ppl use his/her mind for a target, but we know end of this target (with out any logic and with just "deep feelings" )
about sexual life :
pisches men are real casanovas coz only they know how to go into women ' hearts cancers and scorpios follow us w this sub.
oh yeah always mystic symbols,mystic lifes ,"no body can understand to pisches"....lol
kinda true but left out calculating and manipulative.
esrabalamir
10-27-2005, 11:48 AM
im a taurus
yes, they are great
the friendships are very important for tham
yeah by the way " i dont trust zodicas no no i was change my mind i trust zodiacs" ...lol
(this small example is charesteristic of pisces cuz they got "double" characters :D)
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 11:50 AM
Totally, I am confuddled
Running 100 yards and then, still having enough energy to slide into the ground, like a baseball player.
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 12:10 PM
Ermontito and LonerStoner, your life ambition is to be where the action is. Your ultimate pleasure is eavesdropping, and your traumatic past-life experience was that you were bored, once.
esra and King Kong B., you're traumatic past-life experience was that you were forced to hunt for food. Your possible profession could be a mystic, martyr, or a healer. You regard yourselves as a figment of your own imagination.
Robert, you are not photogenic and your parents should have named you, instead of Robert, Escoffier or Bacchus. Your ultimate pleasure is scratching itches when no one else is looking.
DaM Spam. Can't you think of something else?
king kong bong
10-27-2005, 12:19 PM
esra and King Kong B., you're traumatic past-life experience was that you were forced to hunt for food. Your possible profession could be a mystic, martyr, or a healer. You regard yourselves as a figment of your own imagination.
ha where did you get this from?.it sounds accurate though.
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 12:54 PM
It's from a book called Zodicat Speaks: Discover Your Cat's Astrological Signature.
Proving my theory that Humans are no more complex than Felines.
ermitonto
10-27-2005, 03:55 PM
It isn't the arrangement of the stars, it's the gravitational pull of the moon on your body water when you are born.
Then why are there 12 different kinds of gravity-pulling in a year? Shouldn't it cycle every 28 days if it's based on the Moon? The astrological signs are clearly determined by the position of the Sun. I am a "Gemini" because the Sun was in the direction of the constellation Gemini at my birth.
Besides, the gravitational effects of far-away heavenly bodies are much less compared to the gravitational pull of nearby objects. In fact, the gravitational pull of the Earth itself varies from place to place more than it does from the pull of heavenly bodies. So why don't astrologers study the arrangement of objects around the baby at birth, or where on Earth the baby was born? And why should the gravitational pull on me at birth have anything to do with the events of my life, and if gravity really can effect things that much, why was I only susceptible to its effects at birth?
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 04:38 PM
That too, the Sun is a greater gravitational force than the Moon. Zoological signs are a combination of the distance, gravity, and arrangement of the Sun, Moon, and stars. It must be that certain traits are dictated by your Sign, because these, all, our good descriptions of Us, and on the relationships compatibility chart, my union with every astrological sign has hit the nail right on the button. Or hit the head on the nail. Or Nile. Ride the Nile. Or at least, the Congo Bongo River Rapids at DisneyWorld.
ermitonto
10-27-2005, 05:19 PM
I haven't seen a single astrological prediction of anything in my life that couldn't be attributed to chance. All I see are vague general statements that could apply to a great many people, even people I know not to be the same sign as me.
And even though the Sun has more gravitational pull than other heavenly body, it doesn't even compare to the gravitational effect of my being at 42° latitude rather than at the equator. By that logic, people at the equator should have much different astrological effects than me, because gravity is weaker there.
And what the heck does this "body water" you speak of have to do with my life today? How does it alter my personality? I want to see some science here.
ermitonto
10-27-2005, 05:34 PM
For example, let's take my horoscope for today from horoscope.com. It says:
Be careful -- things are not as they appear. Protect your financial investments. You may be taken advantage of by someone you least expect. You may be confused about a relationship you are involved in.
Things aren't as they appear? See what I mean about them liking to use very vague pieces of advice that could apply to, well, just about everybody? But even so, there are glaring inaccuracies, such as the following:
1) I don't have any financial investments to protect. I'm flat broke.
2) I doubt I'll be taken advantage of by anybody, since my plan is to stay in my room all day. But I'll get back to you at the end of the day about that one.
3) I'm not involved in any relationships. I don't have a girlfriend and never have. I don't even have any friends around here.
And here's my horoscope from Yahoo! Astrology:
The thoughts you've had don't mean what you think they do -- don't act on them yet.
Overview:
You're so proficient at center stage that you often find yourself burned from the spotlight when all you were really after was a nice, healthy glow. The fans are assembling. Better load up on whatever type of sunscreen seems appropriate.
The thoughts I have don't mean what I think they mean? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I honestly don't know. I think what I mean to think. That's what thinking is for.
And what is this spotlight they're talking about? In reality, I've been kind of depressed that nobody is paying any attention to me. There are no fans assembling. I'm actually pretty damn lonely.
If these things were real, I think we would be surprised at how all these different astrologers would be zeroing in on the same advice every day for the different signs. But as you can see, different astrologers come up with wildly different predictions.
ermitonto
10-27-2005, 05:49 PM
I just thought of another refutation of the idea that the Sun's gravity affects your personality at birth depending on what time of year you were born. I was born at 1:07 a.m., but if I was born at 1:07 p.m. the Sun's gravity would be pulling on me in exactly the opposite direction, which should, if the theory is correct, completely change all my horoscopes. Astrologers should really be taking into account what time of day you were born, since that has more effect on which way the Sun's gravity is pulling than any other factor.
Canadabis
10-27-2005, 06:09 PM
Im a fishy 0.o Methodical cold fishy :clap:
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 06:11 PM
I'm not a fortune-teller, or astrologist, I have no idea what they do but it's always correct.
Ex:
There are approaches to life.
Cardinal (insistent, assertive, gets things going), Fixed (perservering, obstinate, dogged), and Mutable (flexible, capricious, manipulative).
There are elements that come in play like Fire (proud, demonstrative, adventurous), Earth (sensuous, self-centered, comfort-seeking), Air (observant, talkative, aloof), and Water (sensitive, impressionable, temperamental).
These all mix together.
[SIZE=4][COLOR=Sienna]An Aries is a Fire, Cardinal A Capricorn is an Earth, CardinalA Libra is an Air, Cardinal
A Cancer is a Water, Cardinal
A Leo is a Fire, Fixed
A Taurus is an Earth, Fixed
An Aquarius is an Air, Fixed
A Scorpio is a Water, Fixed
A Sagittarius is a Fire, Mutable
A Virgo is an Earth, Mutable
A Gemini is an Air, Mutable
And a Pisces is a Water, Mutable
tokosan
10-27-2005, 06:13 PM
colorful post i must say!
ermitonto
10-27-2005, 06:17 PM
Wrong! I'm neither talkative, capricious, aloof nor manipulative.
You don't know what these people are doing, and yet you trust their methodology? It's pretty obvious that they're just making it up. If they had any real scientific understanding of how gravitational pull affects the events in your life, they'd be able to explain it in neurobiological terms, and prove it through scientific experiments. There would be some way to show correlating patterns among the lives of people with the same sign that don't occur in people of different signs, to the satisfaction of the scientific community. But there isn't. It's just a bunch of vague statements that have no grounding in objective reality.
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 06:49 PM
It's a book about a Cat's Astrological sign, I don't really believe most of it. I do believe in Astrology, though.
edit: actually, it sounds good.
Euphoric
10-27-2005, 07:11 PM
ermintonto demonstrates classic gemini traits...soo much to say (geminis are the communicators) while mixing it with provoking philosophy ( if youve ever known a gemini. this is probably why they love the talkz)
beachguy is demonstrating classic aries traits by pioneering this thread and by arguing (or rather..posting "counter points")
I'm demonstrating Libra traits by including them both in my thread :)
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 09:02 PM
A CASE STUDY ON A GEMINI
Chico: Though aging and overweight, Chico takes a daily constitutional as follows: races out of the house to the end of the yard, looks both ways, does a lively dance on his hind legs, then races back in. Variation: runs out sideways and runs back with the opposite side leading.
ermitonto
10-27-2005, 11:29 PM
ermintonto demonstrates classic gemini traits...soo much to say (geminis are the communicators) while mixing it with provoking philosophy ( if youve ever known a gemini. this is probably why they love the talkz)
I don't actually like to talk. Not in real life at least. I'm actually a very shy, quiet individual.
beachguy in thongs
10-27-2005, 11:45 PM
A Case Study On A Libra
Although Goldfinger feels that he and his human should be spending more time together, Goldfinger wouldn't dream of making unreasonable demands. When his tail falls across her computer screen, when he steps on her TV remote and accidentally changes channels, when he unwittingly walks on her crossword puzzle - well, these are honest mistakes. After all, when friends visit, Goldfinger sits with his back politely turned- so as not to intrude.
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