Problems

[ADaisyChain]

I can't give my female an orgasm. Both of my ex-females I could give an orgasm to by giving them oral sex. One said I was really good at it even. This one says she can't really feel it when I give her oral sex though, and doesn't really like me using my hands. She was pretty much new to everything sexual before me I believe.

She thinks she can have one if I we have sex really fast for quite a while, but if we're going really fast I'm likely to finish before she does. But, when we go slow I still finish before she does because she doesn't orgasm when I go slow. She can give herself an orgasm, but only in the bathtub by running water over herself.

I'm not quite sure what to do. It's a bit of an ego stab to be able to be pleased, but not be able to please equally. She says she doesn't need one, she says just the sex itself feels really good and stuff like that. But, I recognize those for what they are. Womanly "Don't let your ego crash and burn over this" type of remarks is all. She faked an orgasm around me once, I don't know why. Probably because she thought it would make me happy, but we talked about it and she admitted to it.

She likes having sex, and we have sex alot, but she never finishes, which is pretty bad on my part I think. We've only started being sexual alot in the past week or so, so I don't feel terrible yet. I just gotta figure this out, aka be able to give her an orgasm.

Advice? plx.thx.

[STDzRus]

Most females do not have a REAL orgasm for a majority of their life until they reach their peak which is about 3-5 years before they reach menopause.

Don't take it on your manhood. It's their fault they can't have an orgasm through penis or oral stimulation.

Try using a finger on her while your fucking her.

And sometimes an orgasm is more than just stimulating the clitoris. It can do with various other little things..like the way you treat her..the way you move around her body, the things you say to her and the speed and velocity of the sex. The position can also be a factor.

If all options don't work from any advice you achieve it is most likely that these girls are just not able to recieve an orgasm.

And don't forget, just because a girl cums does not mean she has orgasmed.

Guys though, they are different, each time they orgasm they ejaculate and vice versa. Even if there is nothing to shoot you still cum.

The female composure is a very versatile and touchy subject.

[Sinsemilla Jones]

She can give herself an orgasm, but only in the bathtub by running water over herself.
Or some female sex advisor somewhere once said that the running water on the clit thing can be intensively pleasurable, but can lead to insensitivity if over done.
:eek:

So keep her away from running water for a while.
:p

Sex usually gets better as we adjust to a new partner, and the adjustment can take a little longer for the sexually inexperienced. Orgasms had been something we gave ourselves by ourselves before any of us had sex, so sometimes letting someone else in on that can be tricky.:o

And just because you've finished, that doesn't mean you have to be done! The first girl I had regular sex with, if I finished before her, she would often ride my leg to climax. As a kid she masturbated by wrapping her legs around a clothesline pole and pressing her clit against it.;)

She also faked it during intercourse once or twice, which was pretty funny when she really did come.
:p

[beachguy in thongs]

Guys though, they are different, each time they orgasm they ejaculate and vice versa. Even if there is nothing to shoot you still cum.

As a sex-machine, I have to disagree with this. After a certain amount of stimulation, all the blood rushes to your head and if you can hold it in (the cum) you can orgasm without cumming. Actually, you will still cum a little.

You will go, temporarily, limp and a load of pressure will be released from your hips. The contractions will start getting closer, however.

I don't suggest taking your penis out of the vagina to avert ejaculation. That just delays the inevitable.

[ilikerabbits]

TWAT

[ilikerabbits]

^^ i gnore that i was testing if there was a swear filter

[ilikerabbits]

lol never mind, dosent look like there is a swear filter.

[STDzRus]

As a sex-machine, I have to disagree with this. After a certain amount of stimulation, all the blood rushes to your head and if you can hold it in (the cum) you can orgasm without cumming. Actually, you will still cum a little.

You will go, temporarily, limp and a load of pressure will be released from your hips. The contractions will start getting closer, however.

I don't suggest taking your penis out of the vagina to avert ejaculation. That just delays the inevitable.


Your body is still processing an ejaculation though.

I hold mine back alot so I don't have to clean up. But every now and then it's good to clean the pipes out.

[beachguy in thongs]

Not really.

e·jac·u·la·tion (-jky-lshn)
n.
1.
a. The act of ejaculating.
b. An abrupt discharge of fluid.
c. The expulsion of seminal fluid from the urethra of the penis during orgasm.
2. A sudden short exclamation, especially a brief pious utterance or prayer.

[mellow mood]

daisychain, first you can always use accesories u know. like dildo or whatever

try new things: ice can be a good thing too :)

anyway just be imaginative, and if u can continue to be hard after your first ejac, then continue (if u dont use condoms)

u can try to fuck her in the shower too, if water on her clit excite her

anyway i guess thats it. good luck

[the mole]

get her close by using oral first,take a good half hour or more , if she seems to be ready to cum,then back off ,and take it easier,so she's about to explode, if you tongue her right,you barely need to touch her clit,

if you shoot to fast, rub some neosporin cream on your wacker, it will just slightly numb you the first few minutes of screwing, of course Ive never tried it :)

[Ousted]

Very detailed and graphic post here. Consider yourself warned. ;)


Alot of pleasuring a woman is trial and error but I'd say most of it is not properly warming her up.

Women are not like men, we dont just see a hot man and get busy rubbing ourselves. We need lots of warming up before the hand even gets near the crotch. We need teasing, we need to not get what we want when we think we want it. Your hand brushing across our inner thigh while kissing us as if you'll be going down there in just a second, and then just placing your hand back in a non sexual area like you were never intending on going for the pubic area with your hand/fingers will drive a woman crazy. If you can get her breathing hard and start physically pushing your head down to her crotch or demanding sex, she's ready to accept pleasure.
If she's not ready, and maybe just think she might be ready, you'll be down there or fucking her and the whole time she'll be thinking "I like this, it feels good, but why cant I cum? I need to concentrate!! *concentrating*" 'til finally she gets to a point during the activity where she thinks "this isnt going to work, I dont know whats wrong with me, but I know its not going to work so I either better tell him to wrap things up or just fake it at this point."

Almost always a womans inability to cum has nothing to do with the man. Oftentimes women dont understand just how much foreplay they need to get fully worked up, and believe that they should be sufficiently turned on during intercourse or oral because of those act alone. It just doesnt work too well that way for most women. And most men dont know that because their bodies work exactly how women feel their own bodies *should* work if a penis is inside of them or if their clit is being stimulated.

The clit, also, is veeeeeery sensitive. Again, if not properly worked up, if not enough blood is supplied to the area, then direct stimulation of the clit can cause a numbing effect than a pleasurable one. Its almost better to focus your pressure on the area directly around the clit to get the right stimulation to achieve orgasm, than just rubbing the clit raw.


And most women have great difficulty achieving orgasm through intercourse, even with proper warm up. Our clit is, frankly, in the wrong place for orgasm through intercourse to be an easily achievable goal. Most of the women Ive talked to about this admit that through intercourse they need to be stimulating themselves as well in order to achieve orgasm. Women pick being on top as their favorite position often because of the stimulation rubbing on the mans pelvis, with intercourse as the added pleasure bonus. Mostly, orgasms are achieved through oral, alot of women achieve it through that means exclusively.

And a big factor is a woman's ability to just "let go." If a woman is self-conscience and nervous (a lot of women have irrational fears of what they'll do when they cum, like if they'll embarrass themselves or whatever) and can't get out of her own insecurites about the experience, she'll have difficulty achieving being turned on at all, let alone orgasm.



Dont blame yourself if she doesnt cum, just make sure you reassure her that her cumming is a big turn on for you (will make her feel less embarrassed if that is her issue), and that whatever she wants you to do to help her achieve, you're willing, you just need her to be willing to communicate her likes and dislikes. Also would be a good idea to let her know that faking it just makes her lose out on the experience and a good sex life, its not sparing your feelings none.

Anyway, good luck! :)

[Fan o KmK]

^wow, i didnt know that, you gave alot of great advice like the whole rub their inner thigh thing then put ur hand back like u were never gona do it to make them crazy, thats genius. if anyone has any other things like this to drive a woman insane and want to get on you then please lord tell us lol.

[floydzeppelinfan]

I found that there is a difference between sex and just banging. Me and my girlfriend took each others virginity. Needless to say, the sex sucked. I would simply just get on top and pound away. It was crap. Then I started to get into it.

I would give her a message, then I would talk dirty in her ear. Just enough to tease her. THen I'll slowly slide my fingers around the edge of her jeans just so my fingers touch her skin. I am very gentil. Just keep turning her on, but don't go to far. You'll know what to far is. Then at one point , she turns to me and will say, lets do this... .in a sexual way.

I start on top usually. I'll be very sexual, and won't go for the finish. We just sort of turn each other on till she can't take it any more and she'll like push me back, and she'll ride me till we both hit our climax. Make it hot, kiss her neck while having sex. Kiss her ear to, that gets my girl going at least. Make sure you seem like you are into it. If she sees taht you are enjoying it, she'll be more at ease. Get dirty to. If she has a shirt on while you are bangin or whatever, take it off during the sex and start making out with her neck. Make sure you are making love, not just bangin her.

p.s. I'm stoned right now, so hopefully this made some sense.

[ADaisyChain]

I really appreciate all the information and advice. This should all be alot easier when I have my own apartment. We won't have to make our sex time limited to when parents aren't home etc. I'm moving tomorrow morning. It's scary. Out from the parental wing for the first time. When my female comes to visit me for winter break and spring break ((We're trying a long distance relationship. I hope it works. This girl is good for me.)) I'm gonna implement some of this stuff. To be honest, alot of that stuff doesn't come natural to me, which sucks. I'm the kind of guy who instead of knowing how to use tests to know if a girl will let you kiss her I just ask. V.V I don't ask like, obnoxiously I don't think though, just in like a passiony way. Oh well.

[beachguy in thongs]

Hey, Chain (of Daisies), I figured out your problem.

Your choosing the wrong idols. Example:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeffree Star
Shut the fuck up you want me.

[ADaisyChain]

I quoted StarcommanderX in my signature before this. I like them equally.

[missmarley]

ousted! you took all the words right out of my mouth - Very good speech! :) us woman need worked up!

[powair]

I dont understand the problems women seem to have orgasming. How could you be self-conscious about an orgasm? Why do you need so much foreplay to be turned on?

I am a girl, and these problems are really beyond me. I always hear how many girls cant orgasm without clitoral stimulation or oral, but I cant cum without penetration. These issues confuse me, I'm just glad I dont have them. Just by penetration, my boyfriend can make me cum in under 5 minutes, often much less (if he wants to, sometimes he teases me!). I usually come 2-3 times when we fuck.

[Ousted]

I dont understand the problems women seem to have orgasming. How could you be self-conscious about an orgasm? Why do you need so much foreplay to be turned on?

I am a girl, and these problems are really beyond me. I always hear how many girls cant orgasm without clitoral stimulation or oral, but I cant cum without penetration. These issues confuse me, I'm just glad I dont have them. Just by penetration, my boyfriend can make me cum in under 5 minutes, often much less (if he wants to, sometimes he teases me!). I usually come 2-3 times when we fuck.

You are in a small minority, consider yourself lucky.

Ive heard of women who can make themselves cum without even any physical touch, just from thought alone. Thats skill!

[beachguy in thongs]

I quoted StarcommanderX in my signature before this. I like them equally.

Though, I'm, relatively, new, I think I might catch your drift.

[lizka4200]

im a girl and i can make myself cum either fast or make it take a while...its all in your head...if ur ready and their good....youll cum