Funny Quotes

[robert42]

Some funny quotes aroudn the forum... feel free to add more :D


im like 6.5 hard, but i take tae kwon do so i can lick it, and on a good day i can take it 3/4 of the way, but its not comftorble, yet i have gotten into a position where i gave myelf a cum facial, yumm, biggest load ever too


ok ima end up regretting this but when i was more slender i could lick my dick...and i tried like hell...i'm only now saying it...becasue someone else put they did/tried.....but i just know ima feel like the loser dude on clerks....



I'm so paranoid I don't even trust cats.


sometimes i post a lot of comments. does that make me gay?

Some say it does. .


others say i broke the internet.


sup, melton.

high five.



why the fuck did some random bloke come and wank near us!?!?!?!?!


ok guy got me kicked outa skl should i beat his ass in skl with a can or larger then sit in his seat and drink it nah i might kick sum guys ass hes got me kicked otua skl halve his thought halve not if he werent there i would of got in that situation i defended this fucker when like 10-15 people were starting and now hes all like oh im glad richards kicked out behind my back and shit and i might go into my xskl and drag the fucker out of my old tutor room into were everyone sk8s and kick his ass so bad he dont even know how to speak srike that cant speak ever and then beat him with a can of larger and then go sit in his place in skl and drink that can wot do u rekon



i beat my shit like there's no tommorow


yeah really are there stoners in there 40's still living at home? no job,broke, bumming money from there mom's like in the commercial's?

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kraloth
ok guy got me kicked outa skl should i beat his ass in skl with a can or larger then sit in his seat and drink it nah i might kick sum guys ass hes got me kicked otua skl halve his thought halve not if he werent there i would of got in that situation i defended this fucker when like 10-15 people were starting and now hes all like oh im glad richards kicked out behind my back and shit and i might go into my xskl and drag the fucker out of my old tutor room into were everyone sk8s and kick his ass so bad he dont even know how to speak srike that cant speak ever and then beat him with a can of larger and then go sit in his place in skl and drink that can wot do u rekon









My fuckin' hero, i love that post haha!

Good thread Rob!

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

Last night i believe i may have slept with 1 or 2 females in the Heretfordshire Area if this was you please contact:

555-THATS-NOT-MY-BABY



Absolute genius Rob!

[robert42]

Keep the quotes comign guys dont be lazy to search the archive... :p

[ADaisyChain]

I'd bring all the exotic weed I could pay for & a shotgun to deal with the crackheads.

/\ run powair!

We love you powair, stop smoking crack.
A++++++ thread

[robert42]

Small children wander in and hardened warriors come out. I have an ass of trials.


thanks daisychain ;)

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

ur a nigger





LOL

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

I licked your mum out and asked for seconds



:eek: Oh my!

[beachguy in thongs]

Holy Crap, Rob, you're funny.

I want to share a letter from Ted Nancy (of 560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236, Thousand Oaks, CA 91360) dated Sept. 3, 1996, addressed to the San Diego Padres baseball franchise.

Tickets
SAN DIEGO PADRES
PO Box 2000
San Diego, CA 92112-2000

Dear Tickets Dept.,

I want to come and see the San Diego Padres play in September. I love the Padres! Go San Diego!

Because of my condition, I must walk with a portable shower over my head. My entire head area is kept in a vinyl enclosure with a shower constantly going on me. The top of my head must be kept wet at all times!

While the top of my head needs to be soaked, my face and neck are dry. They are kept dry with a portable dryer I have attached to my collarbone. Thie dryer is similar to the one in a men's room. While water drips on my face, a scoop under my neck drains the water and it filters through my pants. The vinyl enclosure is similar to a shower curtain. I can see the game this way.

Will this interfere with others? There is no wetness outside my plastic casing. Thus, no one else will get sprinkled. Ony the top of my head will be drenched from my shower. I am sorry, but this is because of my medical condition.

Please write and let me know if the portable shower over my head will be okay for me to wear into the stadium. I may have to buy the seat in back of me also. I need to know how much room between rows. Thank you for your prompt reply as I MUST get my tickets soon.

Respectfully,

(signed Ted L. Nancy)
Ted L. Nancy
Portable Shower Wearer #121

[robert42]

man chill out and freebase sum nutmeg


Just to clarify: I'm NOT a paedophile....
^^^^^^

lmao thats what u said to me before giving me sweets and inviting me to ur VAN! *

haha :D

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

Holy Crap, Rob, you're funny.

I want to share a letter from Ted Nancy (of 560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236, Thousand Oaks, CA 91360) dated Sept. 3, 1996, addressed to the San Diego Padres baseball franchise.

Tickets
SAN DIEGO PADRES
PO Box 2000
San Diego, CA 92112-2000

Dear Tickets Dept.,

I want to come and see the San Diego Padres play in September. I love the Padres! Go San Diego!

Because of my condition, I must walk with a portable shower over my head. My entire head area is kept in a vinyl enclosure with a shower constantly going on me. The top of my head must be kept wet at all times!

While the top of my head needs to be soaked, my face and neck are dry. They are kept dry with a portable dryer I have attached to my collarbone. Thie dryer is similar to the one in a men's room. While water drips on my face, a scoop under my neck drains the water and it filters through my pants. The vinyl enclosure is similar to a shower curtain. I can see the game this way.

Will this interfere with others? There is no wetness outside my plastic casing. Thus, no one else will get sprinkled. Ony the top of my head will be drenched from my shower. I am sorry, but this is because of my medical condition.

Please write and let me know if the portable shower over my head will be okay for me to wear into the stadium. I may have to buy the seat in back of me also. I need to know how much room between rows. Thank you for your prompt reply as I MUST get my tickets soon.

Respectfully,

(signed Ted L. Nancy)
Ted L. Nancy
Portable Shower Wearer #121


Lol, that's good!

[robert42]

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poorman, it's your stupidity!!!

lmao :p

[erceg]

Got a match,i havent had a match sence king kong the huge dong died.Got a match,yes.your breath and a buffallo,s fart,Got a match,yes,my ass in your face.got a light,bud light only

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

Got a match,i havent had a match sence king kong the huge dong died.Got a match,yes.your breath and a buffallo,s fart,Got a match,yes,my ass in your face.got a light,bud light only



Huh? llol

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

"BANG" *Falls down, clutching crotch all the way, shouting "mother fucker!" *


:eek:

[robert42]

hah real old one here:



and quack
my ryhmes are whack
im whiter then a fukin tic tac
tic tac toe
ya girls a hoe

lol

TANGOOO STRANGE SODAAAAAAAAA

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

hah real old one here:


That's a good'un, Mr. Rob!

[beachguy in thongs]

Lol, that's good!

It's from Jerry Seinfeld's book, "(More) Letters from a Nut".

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

It's from Jerry Seinfeld's book, "(More) Letters from a Nut".


Ahh cool, thanks for the info:D:D

[robert42]

yeah that was funny beachguy got any more? hey beachguy u like my new sig?

[Ganj]

I heard about this guy who was able to use small narrow spaces - such as a toilet, and by squashing himself in at an angle was able to give himself a blowjob, last I heard he'd got himself stuck in a loo and had to be rescued. I don't know if this story is true, I don't know if its possible, I don't think I want to find out!!

this just about brought me to tears.

[beachguy in thongs]

Rob's sig:
The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, whos gonna dance in our strip clubs?
What's gonna happen to our porno industry?
These women don't grow on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals
before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me
on Friday night with my new highspeed connection

You crazy??? You can't have low self-esteem and feel comfortable showing others your body!!! I didn't even get halfway through the second sentence before you entertained me. lol

Customer Service
HILSHIRE FARMS
P. O. Box 227
New London, WI 54961

Dear Hilshire Farms,

I understand you make boneless frog nuts. I think this is the perfect bar snack. Better than cashews. While in New Zealand I ate them all the time and I don't like frog!

Please send me your complete line of boneless frog nuts gift tins.
Thank you. Good to see them here in America.

Sincerely,
(signed Ted L. Nancy)
Ted L. Nancy

[Anonymous]

yeah that was funny beachguy got any more? hey beachguy u like my new sig?


lmao ur sig is great!!!!! :p :p

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

Rob's sig:
The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, whos gonna dance in our strip clubs?
What's gonna happen to our porno industry?
These women don't grow on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals
before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me
on Friday night with my new highspeed connection

You crazy??? You can't have low self-esteem and feel comfortable showing others your body!!! I didn't even get halfway through the second sentence before you entertained me. lol

Customer Service
HILSHIRE FARMS
P. O. Box 227
New London, WI 54961

Dear Hilshire Farms,

I understand you make boneless frog nuts. I think this is the perfect bar snack. Better than cashews. While in New Zealand I ate them all the time and I don't like frog!

Please send me your complete line of boneless frog nuts gift tins.
Thank you. Good to see them here in America.

Sincerely,
(signed Ted L. Nancy)
Ted L. Nancy


That's good lol

[beachguy in thongs]

Ok- one more...

Record Dept.
CITY CLERK
305 W. 3rd St.
Oxnard, CA 93030-5790

Dear Records Dept.:

I have decided to change my name to Sinardatadadda Popppololloppa de Del Fudgio.

I will be called "Del" to shorten my name but on all legal documents I want to be called MR. Sinardatadadda de Del Fudgio. My middle name of Popppololloppa can be taken off all legal documents EXCEPT for my gas bill.

If that name is taken I will change my name to Mitchell Silverman.

Please send me the proper forms. I am moving to Oxnard very soon.
Thank you.

Sincerely,
(signed Ted L. Nancy)
Ted L. Nancy
"Del"

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

Lol it was ok, but not as good as the other 2 Beachguy

[BlazinHaze]

ok now iv known her for liek 6 mounths and she is teh most incredabal girl iv ever met i unger stand her perfictaly and she under stands me and teh problem is she has a bnoy friend taht she had for over a year and i was takken to her last night and she lieki wish i had soem one that under stood me and i told her that i did and i expained it to her basicaly explaining her self to her and she todl me she loved me and then she didnt knwo y she said it that it just felt right and now shes all confused and im allfucken confused and i mean i love weed more then aanything in teh entir world and i would give it up for good just so she woudl never get sad and idk what to do man cau si woudlnt do that for anyone can sopem one help me with that to do


wtf?

[Ganj]

wtf?

translation:

"say, i dig this girl, right? i mean, she's bangin'! the problem is, she's with someone. oh, she's the most wonderful girl ever! we're in sync with on another, but...she also has a problem with me - i smoke marijuana. mary jane is my girl, and we've been kicking for much longer than i've known this trick. i'm stuck. mary jane, or some bitch that's dating another guy..."

there ya go, haze.

[BlazinHaze]

translation:

"say, i dig this girl, right? i mean, she's bangin'! the problem is, she's with someone. oh, she's the most wonderful girl ever! we're in sync with on another, but...she also has a problem with me - i smoke marijuana. mary jane is my girl, and we've been kicking for much longer than i've known this trick. i'm stuck. mary jane, or some bitch that's dating another guy..."

there ya go, haze.

Thanks Ganj, I had no idea.

[beachguy in thongs]

Ok, last one, and then I have to go take a dump.

SEABOURN CRUISE LINES
55 Francisco St.
San Francisco, CA 94133

Dear Cruise Booker,

My friend and I would like to book passage on your magnificent sea voyage. I have a situation which I need to address.

My friend has been diagnosed with multiple personalities. He has 9 distinct personalities. But let me tell you, he's a great bunch of guys. His name is Frito.

In a controlled atmosphere he is okay. It's when he gets back to the room that's when he sometimes gets belligerent and I have some trouble with him and he may need supervision.

Frito has been my companion forever. I don't go anywhere without him. We have traveled extensively throughout the Pacific Rim. He is a sensitive, caring individual but he has 9 personalities. Sometimes he is angry, sometimes sad. Sometimes he blushes, sometimes he is very argumentative. But that is the way Frito is. What can I do?

Can I get a reservation for the two (9) of us? Do we need that many rooms? How many stewards can we be assigned? Let us know the cost. We want to sail the week of September 15th, 1996 when the waters are ice cold.

Please write and let me know if Frito and me are accepted on your sea vessel. Thank you for understanding our needs. I will show up by myself the day of the cruise then Frito will come later.

Sincerely,
(signed Ted L. Nancy)
Ted L. Nancy

[mf greg]

wot should i do ok i asked out this long time mate of mine and then my not so mate mate whos liked her for ages tells her i only wanna go out with her cuz i think shes easy, and now she wont even talk to me so this is two questions. 1 wot should i do about the girl 2 wot should i do to my not so mate mate i wanna kick his head in so bad he can never tell enyone enything again but right now even a damageing punch will mean my being xspenld from skl, so should i jump him and do that so he cant tell enyone who it was. help most welcome if u live near me bristol hillfields



take any one of his posts and you have the funniest quote right there

[Ganj]

memo: how to move up the ladder

so you want to move up the ladder of success? well if so, this advice should prove useful.

your boss. one of the most intimidating figures in average man's life. he asks you, "hey, could you come at ten tonight instead of having your day off today, we can fix the scheduling for the following day". (you) "oh...well...sure!, you say gleefully. (boss)"Gre-ae-t!..."we'll just schedule you for 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. for thursday and friday, too! does that work for you?" (you) yeah, you say sighfully.

well we at, moving up are sick of seeing the average man be walked on! may we suggest a solution? it may require a little time, but we can guarantee you that your life at work will improve...and your pocketbook, too!

befriend this man you call "boss". call him up one day, see if he'd like to hang out - maybe go get some beers at your nearest bar. once your boss agrees, which he most likely will, you can now just sit back and relax. you see, we at moving up work day in and day out on the psychological behaviours in the work environment. your managers are now under your influence. once you become good friends with this man, you will begin to see that almost anything you ask for is in your grasp.

example:
"hey rick, dude, i can i have like $5 from the stores cash to grap a pack of smokes?" said gilbert. "here, take ten," said rick. "i need a pack, too". now, even though he knows it's wrong, he still can't tell you know, now can he? he's your friend!

you get the idea, but here's another example:

"hey tim, can i have the week off? this erotic asian girl just asked me to come to her country for the week, i can't pass this up! exclamed larry. "does she have a friend?" tim asked. "yeah, that's the best part, it's gonna be a threesome!" raved larry. "oh...*sigh*sure, tim. go ahead". tim said mopingly. "dude! your married!", yelled larry. "i'm still single".

any and everything you want.
take this advice and make your life better! we guarantee it!

moving up, inc.

[BizzleLuvin]

ZAINAB: meeeeeeeeeep!

G: I swear, Im gonna rip my shoe off and strangle you. But not with my shoe. I just like to strangle people with one shoe off.

MOLLY: you turd-burgular

KRIS: theres a porkchop in my printer
ME: theres a hole in the bucket

reese: 4.0 nigga-bytes..is that a lot?

oh, and the quote at my signature box.

[beachguy in thongs]

Some funny quotes aroudn the forum...

Feel free to add more...

[beachguy in thongs]

Originally Posted by robert42
Little Mary slept through the class. One day her teacher jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret. . The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class. A little later the Nun stuck Mary Margaret in the butt. . "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the Nun once again said "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep. . The Nun had her twenty-third child?" . Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

[beachguy in thongs]

cool man i wanan go baghdad

a shorter rob-ege.

[beachguy in thongs]

i dont think he was starting shit, just telling everyone his opinion of the site, no need jump down his throat

edit: nvm just saw his last post, wat a dick, fuck him

re: Z.Z.Z.

[beachguy in thongs]

"There are problems in Canada and even in Vancouver."
Ease off the Canadians!

[beachguy in thongs]

Originally Posted by dirtyhippy420
I don't want to sound like more of a dick than I have to but

[robert42]

haha classic :p

i was gonna have:

Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we?re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we?ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
How?d you get through it grandpa??
Oh, it was horrible Johnny,
there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.?

as my sig but ithink ill have it in a few weeks :p

btw i love canada :D haha ;)

[GHoSToKeR]

i can not believe that i can type.... whoa............ lol

Bagder nipples are not toys; I know this

The doctor is in, bitches!!! :D

Get your own graham crackers and shut the cupboard. :mad:

lol you're such a stoner, Ghost lol

I invented pants.

And I find that offensive.

lmfaoooo

I'm a zapatista

Approximately sixty circus performers have been shot from cannons. At last report, thirty-one of these have been killed.

thats like saying "look out" to someone right after they got hit by a bus...

wtf is a penis molecule? am i stoned?

*bling*
...And, as if by magic, the Shopkeeper appeared!

:D
Hehe..

[beachguy in thongs]

buddymyfriend: Dont get ya hopes up!



sharpezor: LOL, clever.

Thats prety dark comedy



CGB1013: According to the TV, every dime bag you buy goes to fund terrorism.

FIGHT TERRORISM --- GROW YOUR OWN!!!



lemonboy: No, every seed goes to fund terrorism.



beachguy in thongs: Quote:
Originally Posted by CGB1013:
According to the TV, every dime bag you buy goes to fund terrorism.


beachguy:
According to TV, we can live our life, solely, with Ed Norton living upstairs. Or, Barney Rubble living next door.



F L E S H Quote:
Originally Posted by beachguy in thongs
According to TV, we can live our life, solely, with Ed Norton living upstairs. Or, Barney Rubble living next door.

Flesh:
Wouldn't it rock to have Tyler Durden and Barney Rubble as neighbours? You get to see Tyler kicking Barney's ass every Tuesdays and Thursdays. But you're not allowed to talk about it...



Bman719 Quote:
Originally Posted by F L E S H
Wouldn't it rock to have Tyler Durden and Barney Rubble as neighbours? You get to see Tyler kicking Barney's ass every Tuesdays and Thursdays. But you're not allowed to talk about it...

Bman:
I was just about to say that... it's like you're some kinda psychic man



F L E S H Quote:
Originally Posted by Bman719
I was just about to say that... it's like you're some kinda psychic man

Flesh:
Well, when you like the same movies, it happens



BobBong: Oh look.. it's not original.. or funny.. or true.. for that matter.. and infact, a pretty fucking cold joke.. considering close to 3000 people died...

Typical buddymyfriend...



beachguy in thongs Quote:
Originally Posted by F L E S H
Wouldn't it rock to have Tyler Durden and Barney Rubble as neighbours? You get to see Tyler kicking Barney's ass every Tuesdays and Thursdays. But you're not allowed to talk about it...




beachguy:
I didn't see "Fight Club", Brad Pitt isn't as attractive (to me) as Cameron Diaz.

Cameron Diaz and Barney Rubble, with Ed Norton living upstairs.



somebody someone Quote:
Originally Posted by BobBong
Oh look.. it's not original.. or funny.. or true.. for that matter.. and infact, a pretty fucking cold joke.. considering close to 3000 people died...

Typical buddymyfriend...


somebody, someone:
soz ta break it to ya buddy, but yeah ive seen this before quite a few times! try to stay ahead of the game peace



BobBong Quote:
Originally Posted by somebody someone
soz ta break it to ya buddy, but yeah ive seen this before quite a few times! try to stay ahead of the game peace


BobB:
ya no kidding.. i watched it live 4 years ago... It's just not the first time buddy's made jokes at other (usually dead people's) expense.



sharpezor: not really...



its the dead peoples family's expence. Dead people dont give a shit.

[beachguy in thongs]

stop having any sex with a girl
this summer i didnt jerk off for like 3 weeks! crazy shit
Mellow mood, ya' quack!

[beachguy in thongs]

hiya hiya hiya

6 posts since. Joined Jan. 20, 2004.

[NYCZILLESTROLLER]

Ok- one more...

Record Dept.
CITY CLERK
305 W. 3rd St.
Oxnard, CA 93030-5790

Dear Records Dept.:

I have decided to change my name to Sinardatadadda Popppololloppa de Del Fudgio.

I will be called "Del" to shorten my name but on all legal documents I want to be called MR. Sinardatadadda de Del Fudgio. My middle name of Popppololloppa can be taken off all legal documents EXCEPT for my gas bill.

If that name is taken I will change my name to Mitchell Silverman.

Please send me the proper forms. I am moving to Oxnard very soon.
Thank you.

Sincerely,
(signed Ted L. Nancy)
Ted L. Nancy
"Del"


I laughed so hard I, I , AHAHAHAHA

[robert42]

hahah some of these are classic :)

[robert42]

DONT ASK QUESTIONS!

I HAVE SWALLOWED A BIT OF SELOTAPE. AND ITS STUCK IN MY THROAT I BEEN TRYIN FOR HOURS TO GET IT OUT.

WHAT CAN I DO. HELP

o lord that brings back memories... :eek:

[beachguy in thongs]

I bet everyone suggested cranberry juice, rob

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

o lord that brings back memories... :eek:


Lol, You never cease to amaze me:D:D

That's coool swallowing sellotape!

[mellow mood]

He said this is my smoking hand, I hold my dick with my other hand. No one wanted to hear that shit, so we made him go clean up in the sink before we would let him back in the smoking line.

this one made me laugh

[mellow mood]

I kept putting icy hot on my nuts hahaha and then after it subsided it would scream 'ONE MORE TIME!!!!'

this one too made me laugh

[mellow mood]

cmon guys we want more funny quotes!

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

this one too made me laugh

LOL that's ace!

[beachguy in thongs]

con guys want more fun!

mellow mood Quote: this one too made me laugh

[beachguy in thongs]

haha i didnt meant ot write the second naked i was amused at the size of my left tesitcle when writing that ok!

Rob, talking of his experience at the United Nations' podium.

[robert42]

one time, I was in a chatroom and I invited this guy to view my cam, so he accepted it then he saw me from the waist down, with all this patchy hair and warts, wanking my pecker like i believed in the "whackin' off makes it grow" method, and the worst part about it was that the camera, I think, was set underneath my computer table, about five feet from me , i was spread eagle. :D

lmao :p

[beachguy in thongs]

Rob, you caught me, that was a typo, I meant, he was spread eagle!!!

[beachguy in thongs]

wait a second, you slimeball!

[robert42]

thats what they all say...

spread em' beach boy!

[beachguy in thongs]

thats what I say...

spread em' beach boy!

Too bad, I wasn't beachboy.

[beachguy in thongs]

lmfao

Robert, you have to stop these homosexual references.

Like My Fat Ass Open...???

[sharpezor]

"I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." â??President Bush

[robert42]

Robert, you have to stop these homosexual references.

Like My Fat Ass Open...???

lmao :)
look my ass is orange lol

[beachguy in thongs]

I meant to post here, but I posted it back in the thread I got this from.

I apologized, in that forum, to LadyM for slicing up her quote.

Originally Posted by ladyM
WTF! Ever hear of condoms? Youre fucked if she male, have no say in the matter. Damn, everybody knows ugly chicks! If decent steady piece, stay away from it. Now you need to start on a testing regimin, you never know what you'll catch. Your dick might explode on entry, but 6 mo. from now.

[beachguy in thongs]

Robert, why does your signature read like this???

The schools about self-esteem in the schools now everybody grows up high, whos gonna strip?
What's happen to our porno?
women grow on trees.
drunk dads miss dance recitals
blow a goat or fifty bucks.
disappears, that leave me
Friday night with my speed connection.

[robert42]

it dontit reads :
The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, whos gonna dance in our strip clubs?
What's gonna happen to our porno industry?
These women don't grow on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals
before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me
on Friday night with my new highspeed connection.

:rolleyes:

[beachguy in thongs]

it dontit reads :
The schools is all about schools now.
up high ,dance strip porno trees drunk dads dance blow a goat on acid:rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

whatever

[robert42]

lmfao :D and that lmfao dont mean Like My Fat Ass Open! :p

[beachguy in thongs]

sucking yur own dick ( 1 2 3 )
Oct-11-2005 11:19
by robert42

I didn't realize you wrote a three-chapter book on the subject, Rob.

[beachguy in thongs]

?? is there a discount on those bags

G.K. denies these are his words.

[robert42]

I didn't realize you wrote a three-chapter book on the subject, Rob.

lmao i saw u goin thru the sexuality pages earlier

i knew u was searching for somit to bring up hahaha!

[buddymyfriend]

Origianlly posted by Chisme:


buddymyfriend's girls friend got jelous of weed so she hacked it off when he was sleeping


Thankx for making my day! LMAO

[RIP ODB]

The post that made me laugh the hardest is an old one, I don't know who on this forum would remember it, but it was by Looker.

Looker, btw, was the funniest dude on this board. I hope he still posts.

There was a thread called "fuck" by hardon and looker was real determined to make it into a "legendary" thread.

He said something like "Fuck by hardon has a chance to be a great thread! Come on people! Let's be heroes!"

Then he posted an old picture of the Fantastic Four.

I thought it was brilliant, but maybe you had to be there.

[flamingskullballs]

it keeps tellin me i need java for some shit!

hey hey hey, settle down now

[mellow mood]

bus passes (where i live) weigh exactly 1 gram so i guess you could weigh a gram in one hand and a bus pass in another and see if it feels the same possibly.

ok dunno if we should cry or laugh at this one but its for sure the stupidiest thing i ever heard lol

[robert42]

lmfao!

[beachguy in thongs]

mfao!

Madly Fuck An Ox!???

[lateralus]

The post that made me laugh the hardest is an old one, I don't know who on this forum would remember it, but it was by Looker.

Looker, btw, was the funniest dude on this board. I hope he still posts.

There was a thread called "fuck" by hardon and looker was real determined to make it into a "legendary" thread.

He said something like "Fuck by hardon has a chance to be a great thread! Come on people! Let's be heroes!"

Then he posted an old picture of the Fantastic Four.

I thought it was brilliant, but maybe you had to be there.Haha Looker was the one with all the pics of people throwin' up, right?

[buddymyfriend]

I don't hate my dad. He used to let me live in his balls and now he lets me live in his house.

I hate my friend's dad though. I never had anything to do with his balls.

LMAO!!! Made my day cheers ODB!!

PEace

Buddy

[beachguy in thongs]

#79 Oct-12-2005, 11:42
buddymyfriend
Registered Join Date: Aug-26-2004
Location: United fckin Kingdom
Posts: 446



------------------------------------------------------------------------------]--[/B]
Quote:
Originally Posted by RIP ODB
I don't hate my dad. He used to let me live in his balls and now he lets me live in his house.

I hate my friend's dad though. I never had anything to do with his balls.



LMAO!!! Made my day cheers ODB!!

PEace

Buddy
__________________
If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?

This made so much sense. Glad to see you don't misunderstand the world, RIP.

[buddymyfriend]

#79 Oct-12-2005, 11:42
buddymyfriend
Registered Join Date: Aug-26-2004
Location: United fckin Kingdom
Posts: 446



------------------------------------------------------------------------------]--[/B]
Quote:
Originally Posted by RIP ODB
I don't hate my dad. He used to let me live in his balls and now he lets me live in his house.

I hate my friend's dad though. I never had anything to do with his balls.



LMAO!!! Made my day cheers ODB!!

PEace

Buddy
__________________
If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?

This made so much sense. Glad to see you don't misunderstand the world, RIP.

Huh? Me no understand...insert more credits!

Peace

Buddy

[robert42]

Madly Fuck An Ox!???

cant i just fuck a owl?

[beachguy in thongs]

No, pick on someone your own size, Rob.

That made sense what ODB of RIP said, I was, actually, visualizing it.

I wanted to include you in my post, you don't need to be embarrassed.

[robert42]

lmao u love me really....

[buddymyfriend]

I can't find my lighter anywhere.....Arrrggghhh!


break in to your neighbours

DEFEND YOUR RIGHT TO SMOKE!

LOL!

Peace

Buddy

[robert42]

hahaha :D

[beachguy in thongs]

Look, Rob, the pumpkinhead has an idea!

What do you think it is?

[buddymyfriend]

Look, Rob, the pumpkinhead has an idea!

What do you think it is?

LOL! Thats a scray baby huh!?! Lol @ punmkinhead!

Peace

Buddy

[robert42]

Look, Rob, the pumpkinhead has an idea!

What do you think it is?

to kiss u??

EDIT: I MEANT KILL BUT AFTER WRITING KISS I THOUGHT ID LEAVE IT ON THERE AS A FUNNY QUOTE OK.... :rolleyes:

[beachguy in thongs]

LOL, I guess he lost his idea.

[beachguy in thongs]

Just like Jesus said, "You give the man a fish...he knows where to come for fish. You teach a man to fish, and you destroy your marketbase."

I'll look for her name, she's still on "Comedy Central Presents" (12:30 EST).

[beachguy in thongs]

In a conversation on sculptures done by Leonardo Da Vinci:

oooo do 1 of my penis, do 1 of my penis

hhaha

[robert42]

hahaha i feel scared to post cos every mistake i make beachguy triwsts it... hes worse then hitler

[beachguy in thongs]

Robert you're better than Hitler.

[robert42]

awww thanks.....

u need to get a humorous avatar..... beachguy if u need help finding one holla at ya boy (did that sound cool? like fat with ph u know 'phat')

[buddymyfriend]

i was in public
but none around....i was 16 and it was 3 in the mornin so no biggy


I snuck out to go hang out with some friends...went home

on the way home stopped in the woods, wanked it real quick and went back home


LMAO

[robert42]

LMAO GOOD FIND BUDDY EXPOSE MORE PERVERTS ;)

[beachguy in thongs]

awww thanks.....

u need to get a humorous avatar..... beachguy if u need help finding one holla at ya boy (did that sound cool? like fat with ph u know 'phat')

I asked Tokosan to help me develop one, I'll get something for now.

[robert42]

cool man :D

[mellow mood]

lol buddy nice one haha

that thread is wicked man

[mellow mood]

theres nothing I love more than standing a bus top while there is a female waiting alone or with her friednds and just flopping it out and jerking off in front of them . sometimes i just get the bus around my city all night find sexy females to wank in front of.

no comments

[flamingskullballs]

hahaha, thats fucking hilarious...so true too...

nothing better than jekin it while running after random women in the mall...sometimes i think that theres more to love then that...

[buddymyfriend]

10 years old. i kno im real young, but i love the ganj.


im a strapping young gay man of thirteen years.

Lol!

[buddymyfriend]

Cobra venom I guess.

At first I thought wierd like to say baked banana peel. Cuase when we were young we thought that would work. But the Hawaiian wood rose seed did work. Looking to lick some toad in Southern France or Spain.

LOL! If we ever have a cann.com meet up I'll provide the toads!

[beachguy in thongs]

robert42 haha
guess my age....
no not 42
18

SensiRide Where does the 42 come from?

robert42 42 INCHES tall
YEAH BABY

[beachguy in thongs]

Robert u wierd for some reason i thought u were reading threads!

I apologize to all parties involved.

[buddymyfriend]

lol.

no.

i told him not to touch me, turn the lights off, and so i wouldn't have to worry about him.

but my high self thought he was rubbing my wang at one point, when it was really the chick, and I flipped the fuck out. was very weird.

ha ha, tis why menage a trois should be with women!

[BobBong]

Oh man...
"but my high self thought he was rubbing my wang at one point, when it was really the chick, and I flipped the fuck out. was very weird."

That's what made my day
I was in the process of finding this thread to post this quote..

[buddymyfriend]

Started shootin at 12 i tried at like 9 or 10 tho


i started jerking off at 8 or 9 i think and its my bro that told me (not showed, TOLD lol) how to do it

i started to cum at like 11

Ha ha WTF!

[tschmidty32]

Weed is my anti drug.

[beachguy in thongs]

Weed is my ant's rug.
Last edited: Reason: added 's and took out id.

[mellow mood]

what funny with my quote lol buddy

[mellow mood]

ive smoked corn flakes

LOL

[beachguy in thongs]

I'm not smart enough to lie.


I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important. Like a league game or something.

- - Dick Butkus

[robert42]

this pwns it all


howdy torog i make bong
wanna do it or something
luw ya kingkong
howdy torog i do miracle ot
wanna get stair
luw ya king kong
howdy torog sense in moroc
live in the place
catch ya forog

[esrabalamir]

LMFAO

[robert42]

esra what did u mean with that post to torog? come on spill the beans!

[GHoSToKeR]

lol Robert, Torog's reply to that post was almost as funny.. I could almost feel his confusion all the way over here :)

[KoRnStaR]

ha ha, tis why menage a trois should be with women!

agreed...never again

[beachguy in thongs]

lol try two next time the extra dick!

How many people call you buddy, my friend, in real life?

[beachguy in thongs]

@@@
i got marijuana soon

[amsterdam]

" I've never seen a homeless guy drinking a gatorade"


George Carlin

[beachguy in thongs]

Rob, I can only Imagine what you were talking about here.


give a fuck about grammar and shit

this internet hyphen comma WANK

[robert42]

post real quotes not fake ones


If ur gonna stick it there at least use hair gel as lube.

[beachguy in thongs]

Robert, I have never uttered the word "lube" on these boards.

I've used real words for your quotes, actually, I erased some real words.

[robert42]

i know :p im playing with ya

does my bum look big in this?

quote me :p

[beachguy in thongs]

:eek: :eek:
real not fake
:eek:

[beachguy in thongs]

i know :p im playing my bum :p

I know.

[beachguy in thongs]

16 (it said my post was to short so I am writing this)

(same here)

[robert42]

Yah so i was at my friends house tonight with some other guys and we go outside and find out we need to fight about 15 people, and there were 8 of us. So of course we end up getting into the fight and they all pull out fuckin knives even though they outnumber us. I guess we all came to our senses and booked it out of there but my buddy M got shanked on the side of his ribcage and is was bleeding like crazy. After this, we go back to my friends house and get some weed from this guy that came over. We smoked it all out of my bong then the dealer leaves. I look up like an hour later and my bong is freaking GONE! i think the fuckin guy jacked it on his way out. Then after this were all just sitting stoned with the killer munchies and my friend says (as a joke) "we should go rob the store" then he puts a bandana over his face and says he'll go in and grab 4 large bags of chips and book it out of there. So he decided he will actually do this so he goes to the store and stretches, then grabs 4 bags of chips and runs. Me and 3 other guys were standing in the open 200 yards away then we went back to my friends house. I leave and on my way home this crackhead fuckin indian pulls out a knife and threatens to stab me unless i go admit that i helped rob the store. So I have to go and say I was with them and give their names. I said I just met them and only knew their first names and gave them out. After this the crackhead rambled about how his billions of relatives are in jail cuz of robbing stores. Then miraculously he lets me go home. I though this was going to turn out worse with an accomplice to theft on my record but i got away. But what a scary/shitty evening!

lmao

[beachguy in thongs]

lmao
How many pages of threads did you go back to retrieve this?

[Maui Wowie]

Why not just ask what the link is, that could be from a different sub-section.

[robert42]

How many pages of threads did you go back to retrieve this?

it took lots of searching lol i actually remembered it when t happened

[beachguy in thongs]

My excrement
its shit
DO NOT
BUT IT
DO NOT BUY IT

Thanks for the warning... :smokin:

[beachguy in thongs]

"Some funny quotes aroudn the forum... feel free to add more "


IN 1993 I LOST MY RIGHT ARM IN A SERIOUS WANKING ACCIDENT

I WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN

I NOW HAVE THE MOST LOP SIDED PENIS IN THE WORLD.

[king kong bong]

the fuck you starin' at nigga?

ahhahaha classic.

[robert42]

lol :)

[robert42]

I've only had a finger up my ass, I'm looking forward to something thicker.

I can do it slow, and easy, but I'd rather be in your face, feeling IT. I like the ass fucking, but I cant give enough pleasure through vaginal intercourse.

Somebody fuck me up the ass and get it over with!!! :stoned:

EXPOSURE

[Reefer Rogue]

Quote: Ermitonto: (sorry guys i dunno how to quote it the real way lol. Also how do u quote 2 people at the same time?)

For all of you who could not understand the original post, here is a translation:


Quote:
Originally Posted by kraloth
ok guy got me kicked outa skl


An individual caused me to be ejected from SKL Fabricators.


Quote:
should i beat his ass in skl with a can or larger


Should I enter SKL Fabricators and hit his donkey with a tin can or a larger? (larger being a slang term for an erect penis).


Quote:
then sit in his seat and drink it


Then should I sit in his seat and drink his donkey?


Quote:
nah i might kick sum guys ass


No, I'll just beat up some random guy instead.


Quote:
hes got me kicked otua skl halve his thought halve not


Since he got me ejected from SKL Fabricators, his thinking should be cut in half, and then his knot should be.


Quote:
if he werent there i would of got in that situation


Even if he hadn't been there to get me kicked out, I would have gotten into that situation anyways (because I have the linguistic capabilities of a fourth grader).


Quote:
i defended this fucker when like 10-15 people were starting


A Bruce-Lee-like fighting scene ensued in which I beat up a dozen people because they were beginning something, but what they were beginning to do I will not tell you.


Quote:
and now hes all like oh im glad richards kicked out behind my back and shit


So he now says, "I'm glad Richard was ejected from SKL Fabricators while he was behind my back and my feces."


Quote:
and i might go into my xskl and drag the fucker out of my old tutor room into were everyone sk8s and kick his ass so bad he dont even know how to speak srike that cant speak ever


So I am considering going to X-SKL Fabricators (they changed their name to become more X-TREME!) and remove this person from my old tutoring room into the hallway, where people are apparently allowed to use skateboards, and hit his donkey very harshly so he is rendered unable to speak the Srike or Ever languages (spoken in parts of remote Siberia).


Quote:
and then beat him with a can of larger and then go sit in his place in skl and drink that can wot do u rekon


And then hit him with a can full of erect penises and then go sit in his seat at SKL Fabricators and drink the erect penises. What do you reconnaissance?

[beachguy in thongs]

EXPOSURE

Hey, you deleted "NOT"!!!

[beachguy in thongs]

ok then Y+7=7Y
Why don't you finish your current problem before you move onto other threads? :stoned:

[robert42]

lmao

[Miggoll]

flamingskullballs

ok...i was thinking, and we are mainly of the western hemisphere...so...wouldnt it be freaky, yet fully possible, if there was a wave of asians that go on cannabis.com while we are asleep??? that would be crazy...

[Ze w33d Farm3r]

"Look at that!"
"look at what?"
"Your so fat you got your own gravity"

Gotta love family guy!:D

[mellow mood]

who could forget him


i dont even know your email address.
:confused:

your such an asshole lMAO it makes me laugh. why are you causing these arguments? are you just tyring to crave attention???? then go ask your mum for some wam milk to help you sleep tonight, you've obvoiusly had to much sugar and its made you hyper.

LOOK, I HAV'NT EVEN DONE ANYTHIGN WRONG, SO WHY ARE YOU BITCHING AT ME??!!?!? I HAV'NT DONE SHIT SO STFU

[robert42]

"Look at that!"
"look at what?"
"Your so fat you got your own gravity"

Gotta love family guy!:D


i dont think u get this thread

C A N N A B I S . C O M quotes lol

"doh" HOMER SIMPSON episode 4

[beachguy in thongs]

He's not fat, if you look hard enough he has a toned stomach (not gay, just proving atoned stomach). Plus it's funny as hell at the end!

Maybe homophobic was the wrong word, but I don't see the harm in seeing a penis for a bit of fun :pif you look hard enough toned stomach toned stomach homophobic fat penis fun word

[beachguy in thongs]

yes, and arent all the others on this board. personally (besides me of course) i think sensiride is the hottest. if i were bi/lesbain, iw ould ask her out. unfortunately, im a fan of the cock only.

I'm sure there are others, mostly women, who share your view, 3-sheets.

[BizzleLuvin]

^^^ hey i said that

[beachguy in thongs]

^^^ hey three-sheets said that
I know, right?

[beachguy in thongs]

:
Originally Posted by BIZZLE
"yes, and arent all the others on this board. personally (besides me of course) i think sensiride is the hottest. if i were bi/lesbain, iw ould ask her out. unfortunately, im a fan of the cock only."

Ok, so I changed the name to protect the innocent.

[BizzleLuvin]

:
Originally Posted by BIZZLE
"yes, and arent all the others on this board. personally (besides me of course) i think sensiride is the hottest. if i were bi/lesbain, iw ould ask her out. unfortunately, im a fan of the cock only."

Ok, so I changed the name to protect the innocent.


thanks :p

[flamingskullballs]

three-sheets is one twisted man...

[beachguy in thongs]

I drived stoned last night.
"We will re-build Iraq." -line from a political satire (on Comedy Central)

[robert42]

McCauley Caulkin's testicles create magical sperm that can form into a liquid human like that guy from terminator 2, its awesome

:)) LMFAO

[UnViaje]

"Rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"
from 'Control'
pretty good for a sig n rap bar as well

[beachguy in thongs]

It is a source of fiber for rope and other products and it contains THC which gives smokers the psychic effects they seek.I knew you were gonna say that!

[robert42]

hahaha wtf is that made up or did i acutlaly type that?

good see my spelling mistakes already - A C T U A L L Y

[Musician]

Right at the point when he starts to cum, stick a finger in his ass and hit his prostate gland. He'll cum buckets full and the feeling is similar to a womens orgasm.

i found this one quite funny lol

[beachguy in thongs]

hahaha wtf is that made up or did i acutlaly type that?

good see my spelling mistakes already - A C T U A L L Y
That was from a thread today.

Lol, "acutlaly"

Sounds like, "What's that?" "It's a cut, Lily?"

[beachguy in thongs]

That is who the fick I think I am.
At least, one good thing came out of that argument. :stoned:

[robert42]

u shoudl tell him granted im only 17 noone ever talktto me till my old man was in jail and i was 13 aand allhe said is were a rubber hahahah when i was liek aroudnthat age and yonger i was beaten my meat but i thought sex was agenst the law so i decide to my self that day
i woudl brake teh law evey day and i can say i have tryed to stick tomy word it may not be evbey day but its alot

o ya and so what just show him shit liek beastieality and tellhim whats bad liek haven sex with a 2 year old and tell him alot of fettishes r not cool and its just ok to wach soft core til lhis 12 hhahaaand then u can go to bed knowen ur kids wachen max aftor dark thats soem real soft core shit but hell i didnt relize tehy were faking the hole thing tillliek last year andi got realy pisst

not even the FBI could decode that

u should work for the military jake :)