Advice.....

[Ammie]

Ok I realize this has nothing to do with cannabis, but if there are any mothers (or fathers) that have any advice to add it would be greatly appreciated.

I have a 7 year old lil boy who just joined football this year. I wanted him to just have fun with it, you know something to get him outta the house and meeting kids his age.

Well yesterday was his first game, and it was goin so good for the first half of it, but then he started gettin bored and not payin attention. The coach kept yelling and him to hussle and focus which i can understand.

Anyways at the end of the game the coaches all had a talk with RJ ( my son) and told him that until he can focus on the game and not eveything else that he would lose his starting spot.

As his mother i tried to reassure him and let him know that it was ok and that he just needed to pay more attention to the game and less on everything or everyone around him. I tried to explain to him that its just a game and just for fun.

His father on the other hand went off on him. Yelling and screaming actin an idot. Then he told him that he can only worry about school and football there would be no more friends no more outside unless it was foot ball related.

I didnt think that he handled it very well and im not sure what to do. I dont want to contradict his dad but i dont want him to feel like he did sumthing wrong when he just started to have some fun.

If you have any advice i would love to hear it. Im stuck because we dont usally contradict each other when it comes to punisments. :confused:

Besides all the coaches told him hes the best player on the team and he can earn his spot back if he hussles in practice this week. so i dont see the big deal. ARGH!!

[Funkamander]

I think Papa's got some decisions to rethink. That's strait up BULLSHIT. I can understand TALKING to the kid about putting his head in the game, but nothing in his life except school and football? Go beat the dad over the head with a copy of Varsity Blues. (VHS, a DVD will just break right away)

[m4o2n0a]

I also have a 7yr old (girl). Maybe football isnt exactly his cup of tea. Even though he might be good at it, it doesnt mean that he will grow to like it. I have found it useful to talk to her and ask her what interests her that way she will be excited to go to her dance class or her karate class instead of it just being something I wouldve liked her to do.

I understand your husbands frustration, but I think his actions may only lead your son to have low self esteem. Or even a tad confused. Sometimes we have to let the kids be kids and develop into theirselves, you know grow a lil character and then just encourage them in whatever it is they find interesting.

I know how important it is to try to keep a child that age preoccupied in some extra curricular activity but we dont want to make that activity seem like something they may potentially grow to hate because of the sportsmanship envolved.

He may just as well need a lil time to understand the game fully as well.

I would definately have a sit down with your significant other and talk about how to approach him with a more appealing approach or see if maybe their is something else he might like.

Good luck!


Always
Mona

[tylerkane]

Your husband sounds lovely, going off on his little 7 year old son

[Fattie]

The problem lies with the father. You should talk to him about it.

[mellow mood]

yes, dad needs to review his education methods i guess

[NowhereMan]

i mean this will all my heart
tell the dickhead lay off the kid ,he is a kid not in the NFL
and being a prick like that will do one thing
make the kid hate something he probly likes,go ahead turn it into a fucking chore.he should be pep talking him not brow-beating

he is a jerk ammie,
you need to know my friend, sometimes daddy's try to live out lil sports fantasy's thru thier kids,when the kid does good it goes way beyond pride

its like they say,"look at mini me go" them's my genes,
my sperm scored the winning TD ect ect.

having pride in ya kid and having self serving bragging rights is what they mix up and its sad really to me becuase the kid always wants to please the assho'
good luck

[ScarlettCrush]

Try not to critisize Mr Ammie too much ya'll. I know the behavior might bring back some flashbacks, specially for you guys, but remember she loves the lug and he is only human. Maybe his dad was like that, maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he was constipated, maybe he regrets not concentrating as much on his own talent, whatever..
less critisism, more advice

obviously she should talk to him, and he should probably talk to his son...help her figure out what to say and how to handle the situation as a parent.
I think you should talk to the husband, urge him to talk with his son apologize for yelling at him, assure his son that he loves him and is proud of his effort. Tell him that he seems to be good at football, and if he concentrated a little more on what's going on he might be the star player, team captain ect.
I think sports teaches you how to work with others, how to be supportive in a team and instills a sense of commitment, belonging and accomplishment that is very important to self esteem. Concentrating on the event is part of playing the sport, you can't just show up you have to pay attention.

[a. beezy]

Daddy needs to chill. Really. If your kid likes football at all, pressure like that will ruin it for him completely. Tell him how u feel.

[Canadabis]

Well I was a lazy undisciplined kid with amazing skills at just about everything I did.
I was great ins sprots, school all that sort of stuff. But I was inconsitent, and I did not pay attention...
I started doing worse and worse in life, not paying attention, finding things around me mroe interesting then what I was doing etc...
I really wish my father had instilled more discipline in me by forcing me to take my martial arts and sports more seriously, Im only now at 20 back in great shape and putting an all out effort into life.
You could actually damage his ability to survive by allowing him to become a space cadet when hes bored.
I think an important thing to teach him, is that even though he may be bored, otehr kids are still trying their absoloute best, and that they NEED him, and it is HIS DUTY to help them have fun and succeed, and that is waht it is to be a member of a team, you serve everyone. Epecially if your the "best" then you owe everyone esle more of yourself, because you CAN do what they need you to do.
That is my 2 cents, thats like .166 american, dunno if that still counts, good luck with your pup :)

[Ammie]

Thanks guys for all of your thoughts. I have had a long talk with his Dad. He has chilled out a bit. I just reminded him about how he felt when his Dad would do that to him and the heart beark it caused him. I dont know if it was that or if it was that RJ did so good in practice yesterday they told him "If you keep playin like that you will get ur starting spot back before next game.

RJ really loves football, hes been waiting for years til he was old enough to play. I would hate if hes Daddy's bullheadedness affected that in the slightest.

Unfortunatly, boys think they have to impress their Fathers. I will never understand why. I know if RJ feels his dad is upset at his action it just breaks his heart. He is diffentaly a pleaser he always wants to make sure he does whatever he can to keep everyone else around him happy.

Well anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for the advice I used alot of it while talkin to his dad. :)

[xNoa]

sounds very harsh, but points of life always are and (i guess hes normally a decent bloke) its very easy to make mistakes like he did, especially if his dad was the same, infact in some study, a very very high number of people who had been abused as kids went on to do it to their kids, now of course im not saying thats what this is, just an interesting comparison, if his dad had always put him down at football or something..

well sounds like your sorted anyway, good luck!

[jacquelyne]

Gday Ammie,
Dont worry about it at all seriously because you will find it will happen with every kid that starts a new game.All my nephews started football at 5 years old the first games were hilarious they have really no clue what the game is about it takes quite a few games for them to realise what they have to do.I will start my son next year or the year after and i know he will be the same as your son and have no clue and get bored lol.We live on a golf course so i called them for lessons for my boy he was begging me to play it.Anyways they said no he is too young he wont concentrate and may distract the older kids 8 years and above.That was pretty sad i felt bad for him but apparently can be hard for kids to really concentrate on anything before they are 8.Or Ammie he may not be into sport at all lots of kids arent and i guess you cant force them to like something if they have nil intersest.Give him a few more tries and if he dosent like it maybe give him another sport option.Self defence is good for kids i did that from about 8 years old till the end of high school at 18 yrs.It teaches discipline and also how to get out of awkward situations.Good luck im sure he will find something he enjoys.

[D.Boone]

hey football is a sport where u gotta have ur head in the game at all times so i wouldnt blame the coaches for trying to explain it to ur son. but on the other hand his father went too far i think. in my opinion kids shouldnt start football until at least junior high. its just not a good sport for little kids.

[mrdevious]

Maybe join him up in Judo, I've seen kids get some real possitivity and confidence from that. I guess any martial art would be good too.

[lizka4200]

ammie...my boyfriend has a kid and well its a girl but i could kind of relate to your husbands actions...you always want the kid to be the best they can at whatever they are doing....that is why ur husband overeacted....u should tell ur husband that u dont want to seem like u guys are contradciting eachother and instead think of something better so u can go to your son and tell him this is howq its going to be...something like when u do good in practice u can start going out again..or tell me if u want to play football and if he does than tell him he needs to get his head in the game or else it is a waste of all of your time....letting your son not see that you too have to talk it out before you talk to him is a way for him to see that you guys agree on everything and are a family its not good for the kid to see the "arguing" or disaggereing...

[Funken Monken]

Well done for not contraicting Mr Ammie in front of Little Ammie - confused messages will do more damage then good.

Jesus - "Your're off the team!"

Taking a very English point of view, this sounds like something from those terrible sports/high school type movies you occasionally send us!

If he likes it, encourage all the way. If he's ont, then explain to him options, and why you both think he should keep doing it. But also that these is more to live than sports, and those that think there isn't...well....they clearlt dont smoke pot now!