Favorite Funny Movie Lines

[NowhereMan]

from AIRPLANE

" You ever see a grown man naked"

[maryjanemama]

My favorite movie in the whole world is Killing Zoe. The best is when Eric Stoltz asks Julie Delpy how long she's been a prostitute. She gets pissed, punchs him and says, "I am NOT a prostitute!" You have to see the movie to know how funny that is. It's like any one of us saying, "I am NOT a pot smoker!" :D

[neilmcca]

anyone here seen Deuce Bigalow - the male gigalo, one of the funniest film's ever, "She a huge bitch" (anyone who's seen it will understand) :D

Monty Python - the life of Brian - "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy"


Bit longer than a one liner (and more serious than funny), but here u go.


De Niro in Taxi Driver when he's talking to himself in the mirror - "you looking at me",

and Joe Pesci in Good fella's when he's in the restaurant - "you think i'm funny ? funny how ?"

Neil

[neilmcca]

almost forgot,

the entire opening sequence of "Full metal jacket", the drill sgt. (lee ermey) when he's going through the new recruits one by one,

"you're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece"

"Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and f*** my sister."

"You are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human f***ing beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian sh*t!"

http://www.wavsource.com/movies/full_metal_jacket.htm

[Jesus Smoked Pot]

-The Crow -
Eric Draven : " Guess it's not a good day to be a bay guy, huh skank "
Skank : " I feel like a little worm on a big fuckin' hook "

- Back to the Future -
Marty McFly : " Are you tellin me you built a time machine outta a DeLorean "
" Wait , whats wrong with us in the future what do we become assholes or somthing "

- Nightmare on Elm Street -
Freddy Krueger : " Welcome to Primetime Bitch "

[cherylsyv]

hey buddy, can I have a breath mint? the butt in ace ventura

[maryjanemama]

I found the script for "Killing Zoe", this is the way it goes:

Zed-"Well, I like your honesty. You're open. Unlike most prostitutes I've been with.'

She doesn't like the sound of this. She slaps him.

Zoe-"I am not a prostitute!"

Zed is a little surprised at this.

Zed-"Really? Can I have my francs back then?"

[andiloose]

City slickers...billy crystal to jack palance..
"kill anyone today?"
jack.."no, but the day ain't over yet"

[gs8778]

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. -- Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)

Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherf**cker. -- Robin Williams (Death to Shmoochy)

[Jesus Smoked Pot]

- The Punisher -
Frank Castle : " God's gonna sit this one out "

- Blow -
George Jung : " I snorted 10 grams in 10 minutes once , i guess i had a hi tolerance

- Flatliners -
Nelson : " Today is a good day to die "

[SomeDude]

Full Metal Jacket: "Only two things come outta Texas--steers and queers! You a steer or a queer?" and "I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!"

[smokey]

Friday when smokey says "you got knocked the fuck out" hahahahah :D:D

or when he says to tht scabby girl "remember it write it down take a picture i dont give a fuckk"
lol

[Lola]

hahahhahahhahahhaha, lmfao:p

[smokette]

You Have to see Harley Davidson and the Marlbro man its crazzy lol

Marlbro "he's gonna kill you harley"
Harley "better to be dead and cool then alive and uncool"

[Lola]

Who wants a mustache ride>mememememememme



Super troopers:D

[Lulu]

"Do not try and bend the spoon.
That's impossible.

Instead, only try to realize the truth."

... "What truth?" ...

"There is no spoon." :eek: -- The Matrix

[Lulu]

"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

Dirty Harry :rolleyes:

[JeffJFromKCMO]

yeah goodfellas has some good ones...also anything that makes you laugh....like "you have smoked yourself retarded."

[WeeeeeBong]

After climbing and repelling the side of a huge elephant like beast and killing it quite elegantly Legolas rides it back to the ground on it's death fall and then dismounts in triumph to glance over at the warrior dwarf with an elven smirk on his face...Gimili looking seriously at the elf says...."that still only counts as one."

[will de beast]

my faveourite one is for monthy python and the holy grail

these 2 nights have a fight and one is left with no arms and legs

he looks at the other one and says "allright then well call it a draw"

then when the other night says to him u aint got any arms left he goes "its just a flesh wound ive had worse"

Theres som many of those in that film

[bonbonhia]

Richard Dreyfuss as Trotter in Let it Ride: "I demand the right to bet on Lord Byron!"
and when sitting in the Jockey Club, "RUM!"

[Tilde]

First time seeing Dead Alive...when the kung-fu priest said "I kick ass for the lord!", I almost pissed my pants lol

[rnf232s]

zoolander

"Oh my god, they're break dance fighting."

[Tilde]

Hahaha, zoolander..what a wealth of great one-liners

"OBEY MY DOG!"
"the school must be at least...THREE times this size"
"let me ask you this...how many abodiginals do you see modelling?"
"You can read minds???"
ect ect

[GhoSt]

"Show me them fake fat titties you fat fake tittied bitch!" "Violent J... Big Money Hustlas.

[teresaj2k]

"it must be fun living in your head with peter pan and the easter bunnie" bridges of madison county

"of course it was alegorical (sp?)" "well that's for each man to decide for themselves" a knights tale

[dog420]

ok mines a bit long to type so i put it in a audio file ;)

peace

[mysterywhylay]

Arrrrgh, I cant remember the name of the film, but here goes anyway.

"Tell that bitch to shut up before i come over there and fuckstart her mouth"

Anddddddddd...Monty Python and the Holy grail is too quoteable by far...but...
"Shut up you manky scots git" springs to mind As does..."I think I'll go for a walk"..."Youre not fooling anyone you know" (Bring out your dead scene) (filmed entirly in Scotland I will have you know)

[NowhereMan]

must add
tony montana
scarface......in tub watching tv wife leaving
he watches and says "fly lil pelican fly"

and "couple ludes she love me all over again,"

[NowhereMan]

bruce willis
movie called "The Fifth Element"
,,,,he is sent out by a wimpy so called in charge of the troops type guy to talk to a leader of the enemy who wants to negociate a truce,,politely walks out
and just shoots him between the eyes.

then says "ANYBODY ELSE WANNA NEGOCIATE"

[tumbleweed]

in "How High" the baby powder pimp gets beat up by
the chinese kid then he tells assistant pimp
"I need to slap my goddamn self for that"
lol also when he tells the two white girls
"Bitch this is pimping! Oh you think its funny powder
me up SMACK!" leaves two white handprint marks lol

another good one is Sam Jackson asking Brett from
pulp fiction "HMMM thats a tasty burger you mind if
i have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?"
slurps on it till gone

Beavis and Butthead do America
"Finally after all this time Butthead Finally were gonna
score, me first Beavis. No way Butthead!"

[Lola]

ahhahahaha z scarface ownzzzzzzzz


give her another lude she'll be back

[givemesomeweed]

"Have you ever took your clothes off and ran backwards through a cornfield?"
Halfbaked

[jolly green giant]

'were gonna need a bigger boat'
chief brody in 'jaws'

[DiSeAsE]

Austin Powers:
that fat scottish guy, to minime: ''get in my belly, you're smaller!''

[tokinsmoke]

Friday when smokey says "you got knocked the fuck out" hahahahah :D:D

or when he says to tht scabby girl "remember it write it down take a picture i dont give a fuckk"
lol


that reminds me...
one day at school these two guys started
fightin...

one of em hit the other one time
and he was out like a light..

he said you got knocked the fuck out...
omg it was so funny...

everybody around started laughin...

peace :cool:

[mysterywhylay]

Austin Powers:
that fat scottish guy, to minime: ''get in my belly, you're smaller!''
Gotta say....Myers has Scottish grandparents...ova here he is classed as Scottish (shrek, so i nearly married an axe murdrerer) He loveeeeeeees it lol lol lol Ock, ya cannae blame the laddie huh? LOL LOL LOL

[weirdo79]

Heed! pants now! Move it! (myers rules!)

[YES]

ANything from the monty python the Holy Grail or The life of brian. I have the movies and never watched them high. Wow.

"How do you know shes a witch?"

And Pulp fiction has some good lines.

[maryjanemama]

Heed! pants now! Move it! (myers rules!)
Hahahahah, So I Married An Axe Murderer is hysterical...."Oh, you're a right sexy man..." and his mother starts making out with his friend!

[Uchiha Smoker]

As he licks the middle window in a cop car
"The Snozeberrys taste like Snozeberrys"
-Super Troopers
-(That kid was no longer cool after doing those McDonald's commericals btw.)

[psychocat]

Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight- The Joker in Batman.

It's not easy having a good time even smiling makes my face ache - Frank N Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[mysterywhylay]

She turned me into a newt!

A newt?

Well, I got better!

[teenagekick5]

how can anyone quote monty python and not have the 2 greats

holy grail -

"your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries now go away you silly english knigit or i shall taunt you a second time"

and from the flying circus

"ooooo mrs niggerbators exploded"

"dont be so bloody sentimental mother people explode all the time"

"oh i suppose so, i didnt like her that much anyway"

joe

agggggghhhhhhhhh there attacking

[teenagekick5]

and private cowby was taken from cubrics full metal jacket