Question for Parents

[mlleyeuxbleus]

I'm curious about your policies regarding your kids, especially teens, & smoking. Here's my sitch: I have a 15 yr. old cousin visiting me from out-of-state for a couple of weeks. She has smoked, & openly admitted it to me (I'm nearly 28, & sortof a cool big sis figure). When she asked if I did, I admitted it because I'm not big on lying & deceit. She hasn't really pushed the issue of smoking much since she arrived, & I'm reluctant to do it with her (I don't want her mom to find out & forbid her to visit).

Any parents or others with younger relatives have insight to share? My thoughts are that when she turns 18, I would smoke with her if she wanted; I just don't think it's wise to do it with her as a juvenile. As a sidebar, there's a chance she may end up moving in with me (crazy homelife back home for her, etc.), so that's added incentive for me *not* to smoke around her, at least not til she's a legal adult.

I guess I've sorta formed my own decision, but am interested in hearing how others have handled stuff like this.

[ScarlettCrush]

I think you have good handle on it. Are you going to tell her you smoke as well?
I might tell her, but not smoke out with her. I'm wierd about smoking with family members, though my uncle joe used to pay me a joint an hour to babysit for him. lol

[mlleyeuxbleus]

Thanks. :) Yes, she did ask, & I admitted that I do smoke; there's no point in lying to a 15-yr. old... she'd probably find out eventually anyway, & it's not something I'm ashamed about.

Thanks for the input!

[Juggalotus17]

Well I don't have kids, nor a younger relative who would put me in a position like this but I do have a younger sister growing up and this is what I plan on doing with her...

As long as she's mature, responsible, gets good grades, and doesn't use it for personal problems, depression or something stupid like that then I'd allow it. I'd tell her if she wants to do it, she has to smoke WITH ME, or she has to tell me when she's smoking/high. Make sure she gets her weed from me, and don't let her get it from someone who might lace it or whatever.

If she SMOKED before, then I wouldn't smoke with her unless she asks. If she SMOKES, then just blaze one day with her around and ask her if she wants to.. then explain to her if shes going to be smoking with you, then you have to lay down some ground rules *see above*.

[ScarlettCrush]

weed is actually good for treating depression, since I have been smoking my dosage (of prescription antidepressants) has decreased.

[Juggalotus17]

Well you have clinical depression (assuming thats the medical term for real depression?)

most "depression" is just teenagers sulking about their recent boyfriends dumping their skanky ass cause she wouldn't put out and he was tired of it. And then taking their sulking to the extremes by carving a canyon into their wrists, and start wearing all black and gothic type cloths and falling in love with linkin park.

^^ happens all the time around here

[Lily420]

When I have kids im gunna try and bring that kid out in me whenever im around them...you kno dance like crazy, eat lots and lots of candy, sing really freakin loud....just show them a good time and at the same time teach them whats right and whats wrong. When I was little my mom used to yell and hit me a lot and im gunna make sure i dont do that. :D Im looking forward to it.

As for weed...if can smoke weed why shouldent they? But i'de only alowed marijuana, and shrooms to be acceptable for them to take. I dont really mind how old they are. Looking forward to this too.

[beatpixie]

well I'm in the same boat as you. My sister just turned 18 and I'm nearly 28 myself. She isn't really into it though to be honest but I would definitely feel wierd about it, but now that she's over 18 it makes a little difference. I have a two year old and I would MUCH rather her come to me when she is in her teenage years and tell me that she is smoking rather than drinking. I've never really seen a violent pot smoker who goes and gets in their car and drives around (me I"m a lazy smoker lol) and ive never heard of pot poisoning like alcohol poisoning. But I don't think I would ever smoke with my daughter not until I was like ninety and takin it medicinally and she brought me some at like her age of sixty something haha :)
But I don't think I would punish her as a teenager for smoking, but I wouldn't let her do it , say , in her bedroom either.

[IrieAllie]

Having 2 young kids here, I know that I wouldn't openly light up in front of them. Just as I don't want to the the strict mother that MY mom was, I don't want to be the mom who doesn't give a shit, and raises her kids to have the same attitude. Will they smoke when they get older? Probably--and probably do alot of other stuff as well. I don't ever want my kids to be afraid to tell me anything...I am open minded, and have done a LOT of shit in my past as well. I think that making mistakes, experimenting, etc., shapes who you are as an adult. Everything I have done, good or bad, has made me who I am now, so I am cool with everything. (I also have a leg up on knowing what my kids are into because of that :) )With that said, would I take a 15 year old and blaze? hell no... 18 years old, if it wasn't MY kid, yes.

[DrGonzo]

age really doesn't mean much to me personally...I would think, with a couple simple rules to follow (juggalotus has some good ones) why not? She's smoked before, you are a smoker, just make sure she's not being a scavenger smoker! Make her pitch in if she's going to be smoking your session.

with my daughter, I don't plan to be plain and open (I can't exactly roll up and blaze around the wife anyways) UNTIL she asks me about it. Hopefully she'll grow up knowing she can talk to me about anything...at which point I'll give her the lowdown. Namely, don't trust dealers if you've never met their mother, don't EVER pay more than 10 a gram, and don't get caught by mom (just like me lol)

Other than that, I'd smoke with her. I'd like to think I'm a cool dad like that, and I'd feel better if I had a grasp on what kind of stoned person she is. Besides which, I know for a fact how much fun it is to smoke a joint, or chew up some mushrooms, or even (once in a blue moon) do a couple lines...how can I then say to my own daughter, 'drugs are bad, don't do drugs, because if you do them, you're bad, mmmmkay?'

[Cheery Cherry]

When I was about 15 or 16, I told my dad, who smoked pot openly, that I smoke too. He didn't say I had to stop, but he didn't smoke with me until I was about 18 or 19. I respected that and I understood it. No hard feelings at all.

When I was about 25, I had a 15-year-old nephew, who thought I was a cool person, and I did smoke some weed with him, once. It cost me our relationship and the whole family was pissed at me because when some shit (long story) happened, the nephew mentioned smoking pot with me and the wrong family member heard it. The relationship with me and the family hasn't been the same since..so I would definitely let your cousin know that even though you smoke and you understand that he smokes, you don't wish to smoke with him until he is at least 18.

[Fengzi]

When I was younger I always used to say that I'd be a totally cool father and would let my kids smoke or even give them weed. Now that I'm 35 and have a 2 year old daughter I'm not so sure. Mainly because I was a total fuck-up in school, hung around witht the wrong crowd, got really bad grades, and had a few really tough years before I got my life together. I guess I just want better for her. What father wouldn't.

This isn't to say that anyone who smokes pot will be a fuck up. I smoke now and am the farthest thing from the stereotypical "stoner" that you could imagine. It's just that being a "stoner" was a big part of who I was in high school and its hard to imagine my little girl in the same place.

So, like Dr. Gonzo I don't plan on smoking in front of her. I will make it clear from a very early age that she can talk to me about anything and if that anything happens to be drugs I'll be totally honest with her. I will educate but not advocate.

In your case mlleyeuxbleus I would recommend taking a neutral stance with your cousin. She's a minor and her mother is entrusting her to your care so you need to respect her own Mother's rules. Or at least not help your cousin break them. If you think she's doing it you may choose to look the other way but don't let her know you know. That way you don't look like a hypocrite but don't give anyone the idea that you approve of it either. If she comes right out and asks you just apologize and tell her you have to respect her mother's wishes. Once she's 18 though, she'll always have a toke buddy. Hopefully she'll understand. If not now, she will someday.

[NowhereMan]

well u could leave a bud out for her,at best
and not at worst
but its a judgement call only you could make
peace

[ScarlettCrush]

I found a book though I haven't read it so I can't say how good it is. Great review in Cannabis Culture cut and pasted for her pleasure.

This is a book whose time has come, a book to help pot-smoking parents explain marijuanna and prohibition to their kids. Beautifully illustrated and clearly written, this book introduces children to the medical and recreational uses of pot, outlines the plant's botany and uses, and explains the history of prohibition and how activists are working to change the law.
The story begins with little Jackie waking up past her bedtime, and smelling "something funny" in the air. She finds her parents smoking a joint, and so the next day Jackie's mom takes her on a bike ride to discuss marijuana. They visit Farmer Bob who grows organic buds, Dr. Eden who explains medicinal use, and some police officers who describe the state of the laws. The story ends with Jackie declaring "When I grow up, I am going to vote so I can make all the laws fair."

www.justaplant.com

[jacquelyne]

Thats a hard one there.I was in the same situation but with alcohol with my 15 year old nephew at one time.He came to stay with me for 2 weeks.We had alot of fun and i let him have a few drinks he begged me and i put a cigarette in his mouth (not lit) and a beer and took a photo and sent it to my brother (his dad) hes a bit strict in that way it was all in fun.I still have those photos and they are one of the greatest memories of my life.He is about to turn 18 he has been in hospital since he was 16 from a car accident and doubt he will ever eat, walk, talk, laugh ever again.All he does is lay in a bed all day in the brain injury unit and soon has to go to a nursing home.He was my lil man i loved him so much and still do he was born when i was 10 and i am so happy that i let him do that with me being his aunt i knew he was protected and now that is one thing he will never ever be able to do again.Off this subject now do what you like with your cousin its your choice

[muncheemama]

my mom and dad smoked since I can remember, fairly openly...but they never smoked with me until I was 18 and had my own apartment. I wouldnt say I am messed up now because I saw my parents getting high, but I am glad that they waited until I was an adult to smoke with me because I always had strong parental guidance. When kids start drinking and stuff with their parents they get a mixed message about right and wrong. Parents need to stay parents until their kids are grown up.

[mynameismike0]

i decided that i'm going to try to teach my kids to be good kids, and not have them smoke, but once i catch them or they come forward with it i'll be cool with it.

[mlleyeuxbleus]

Thank you all so much for the advice & insight! Scarlett, that book sounds great; I will definitely check it out... especially since she may be moving in with me. :)

[HighTimeStoner]

Are you married? If so what does your hubby say about it?
My wife has a 15yr old sister that comes and stayes the night with us all the time she always brings her 15yr old best friend.
My wife will be 25 Aug. 3rd and I will be 27 Aug 27th.
We are pretty laid back people they are around alot and know alot about our biz.
We smoke with them BUT I put their asses on a limit(Cause they act friggin stupid).
God what I would give to go back to my first days of getting high again shit how time flies.
Anyways I use to get high as a kid and I still get high now about 10yrs as a smoker and about 2yrs as a grower.
I will get high till I am to old and feeble to hit my blunt, bong, joint, pipe or my hooka.
I wish I had a friend/relitive that got me high when I was younger as I got myself into some shit several times trying to get it for myself.
My rule is I would rather them do it with me then somewhere anything could happen.
Also depends if you can trust them enough to keep the skinny to themselves more so if you are a grower also.
Just think about it weed isnt a bad drug but do what you wanna do we all respond different to the drugs I am pretty laid back but I have seen some that would wig the fuck out if they dont have some herb which I call strung out fuckers and I distance myself from the weak minded people.

[mlleyeuxbleus]

HighTime... I'm definitely not married, so no such creature exists, lol. :) It'll definitely be nicer when she's older & we can just chill together without the worry. For now, I just look forward to bedtime. ;)

[Etrain]

Muahaha.