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View Full Version : I hate this...(Can you help me)



sToNeDpEnGuIn420
04-29-2005, 06:49 AM
Ok right so this is shit...
Ok so heres the situation: Ive been living with my grandma since the end of may last year. Before that i was living with my parents, but i left because if i stayed there i would have commited suicede.My mom for the past 10 months or so has been asking me to come home and what not. I dont plan on going home, but today i got a call from her,heres how it went
Mom:I want you to come home
Me:Thats nice
Mom:You need to come home
Me:umm no?
Mom:If you dont come home im going to file a report that your a run away.
Me:If you seriously do that you will have no contact with me anymore at all.
Mom:(dont rember what she said)
and so on
Right so then i call my dad and explain what my mom said, he hadnt even talked to her about it, well had but not recently. Then he tried to say that he was just trying to make things better for me(he thinks things arent good because i smoke weed) He lost everything when he was younger because he did speed but he trys to pull weed into it and say thats why but i know it was the speed.

Yeah so theres my situation. Im planning on finding somewhere else to stay tomrw, does anyone know what will happen if she does file the report?
Im only 15 so i cant get emncipated but my birthday is June 5th and i cant wait to get it. So yeah im going to be living with someone else for awhile i guess...Yeah this really sucks to cuz things we startin to go ok, and school was getting back on track, now im not even going to be able to go to school.
Well does anyone know how all the legal stuff works? and what could happen to me? Thanks any other advice welcome to :D

GHoSToKeR
04-29-2005, 07:44 AM
woah.. i cant help you dude.. i wish i could, coz thats a shitty position to be in.. all i can do is wish you luck and hope for the best

Darkneon420
04-29-2005, 08:13 AM
:( Oh penguin...Im so sorry your going through this right now. Its very difficult and tricky to figure out a solution but one day im sure you'll find one...why cant you stay with your grandmother? Your 15 you have to right to tell a judge where you'd like to live. Perhaps if you give them good reasons and explain your problem last time whilst living with your parents the judge might understand. Explain about school too. Best of luck penguin man!

sToNeDpEnGuIn420
04-29-2005, 08:41 PM
Damn, no other replys haha oh well yeah i get it no one cares, but thanks darkneon and ghost you guys fucking rock

richieguy69
04-29-2005, 08:49 PM
Holy shit dude. That's really shitty. Are you sure that she can do that legally?

Button Basher
04-29-2005, 08:53 PM
If she DOES file the report (which I don't think she well, that's a little extreme considering she knows exactly where you are and could probs be arrested/fined for wasting cop time), then your parent's are seriously dumb and need to reconsider their methods.

Don't be sour to spite them. Talk to them, let them know YOUR concerns and needs and try to reassure them your not gonna get fucked up like your dad. You might wanna remind him speed is class A and he's a dumbass for doing it so often at your age anyway ;) . Your parents want you to come home, so let them know what it'll take. Your not in the wrong.

Don Dimitri
04-29-2005, 08:57 PM
..rise above it bro , as long as your high just ride it out. Dont let em get to you dude.
Stay i......

Dark Seraph
04-29-2005, 09:06 PM
Aw that sucks, man. My friend went through the exact same situation a year and a half ago. He ended up holding his tongue and kinda dealing with the chaotic state in the household until after he turned sixteen, and then he became emancipated. There's a lot of stuff you gotta do though (not to stress you out, cuz right now I'm stressed to the brink and wouldn't wish that on anybody). But, yeah you gotta prove that you would be able to support yourself if you want to be emancipated, and sometimes that means dropping out of high school and getting a job; you also have to prove that the living situation within your home is not creating a mentally productive and physically healthy environment. Didn't you post pictures of your girlfriend a while ago? --Are you guys still together, 'cause just having someone close to you that you can talk to helps.
*holds his breath in hopeful anticipation that you are still with her, and he didnt bring up a sore subject*
~Brandon

Dark Seraph
04-29-2005, 09:10 PM
Oh, and i dont mean to infringe on anyone, 'cause after i posted that i started thinking about the "100 post rule:" You shouldn't be giving sage wisdom as if you know everybody's problems unless you've posted more (100 or so). But I'm new, so cut me some slack.:)

sToNeDpEnGuIn420
04-29-2005, 09:18 PM
Thanks to everyone else who replied also. Dark Seraph thanks for the advice and no i dont judge people but their number of posts, its just a number, just like age is just a number :D
And yeah thats probably what will end up happening but i wont end up going home, just livnig somewhere else until im 16 which is only about a month then get emncipated, im just not sure that if im filed as a runaway tho and then i tried to do it what would happen.

jadeius
04-29-2005, 09:27 PM
Your parents, no matter how bad it seems, want what's best for you, and they're never gonna see pot being involved in that...I'm not gonna come down on you dude because I've been there and it's hell, but you should just ride it out at home with your parents for as long as you can because you only get that free token once...all that stuff they're willing to do for you, it's gone once you're on your own...get through school, at least get a HS diploma...you should consider staying on campus at a college, your parents will help you if you just bear with them for the next 3 years...college will be some of the best years of your life, and you'll come out of it with a good job...just make sound decisions, be careful out there, everything you do now will affect your life later...

You can get high and still live at home...ever heard of visine? it's not too hard to hide pot, alcohol is what fucked me up...but I'm out now and I'm still on good terms with mama, and I finally do what I want, it's worth the wait, trust... GOOD LUCK MAN, PRAYIN FOR YA!

sToNeDpEnGuIn420
04-29-2005, 09:32 PM
Your parents, no matter how bad it seems, want what's best for you, and they're never gonna see pot being involved in that...I'm not gonna come down on you dude because I've been there and it's hell, but you should just ride it out at home with your parents for as long as you can because you only get that free token once...all that stuff they're willing to do for you, it's gone once you're on your own...get through school, at least get a HS diploma...you should consider staying on campus at a college, your parents will help you if you just bear with them for the next 3 years...college will be some of the best years of your life, and you'll come out of it with a good job...just make sound decisions, be careful out there, everything you do now will affect your life later...

You can get high and still live at home...ever heard of visine? it's not too hard to hide pot, alcohol is what fucked me up...but I'm out now and I'm still on good terms with mama, and I finally do what I want, it's worth the wait, trust... GOOD LUCK MAN, PRAYIN FOR YA!

I would do that, but i cant when i was at home i was depressed and suicidal, i could not live there, if i would have ended up staying there i would have killed myself, that is the honest truth. I have so much hatred and anger at my mom you wouldnt belive, and no its not just cuz "she wont let me do something" Its because my whole entire life the way she has been and everything shes put me through, im not going to discuss but yeah. Oh and also they want whats best for me in their own opinon, also i dont smoke weed to get high, i smoke weed to help me sleep, to help with my deperssion, to help me eat. Not just to get high.

jadeius
04-29-2005, 10:00 PM
people that say they'll kill themselves don't really tend to do it...I was all suicidal, I hated my mom, it was more than one thing for me too...and every other kid out there has to deal with parents, I mean, what makes you so special that you don't have to deal with mom or dad? everybody has fucked up parents with fucked up opinions and you can't get anything through to them and they can't get anything through to you, so they think, but it's just another test in your life, and it gets worse, I hate to break it to you, but your parents are not the worst of what you'll put up with, especially if you don't endure them in the first place...so unless they're beating the hell out of you or doing something truly abusive or illegal, I say deal with it, I did, and who else reading this hasn't dealt with it or isn't dealing with it?

sorry if that's not what you want to hear, tough love, buddy, tough love...

sToNeDpEnGuIn420
04-29-2005, 10:04 PM
people that say they'll kill themselves don't really tend to do it...I was all suicidal, I hated my mom, it was more than one thing for me too...and every other kid out there has to deal with parents, I mean, what makes you so special that you don't have to deal with mom or dad? everybody has fucked up parents with fucked up opinions and you can't get anything through to them and they can't get anything through to you, so they think, but it's just another test in your life, and it gets worse, I hate to break it to you, but your parents are not the worst of what you'll put up with, especially if you don't endure them in the first place...so unless they're beating the hell out of you or doing something truly abusive or illegal, I say deal with it, I did, and who else reading this hasn't dealt with it or isn't dealing with it?

sorry if that's not what you want to hear, tough love, buddy, tough love...

No i wasnt just saying it, i had alrdy attempted it twice at the time i had moved out.Nothing makes me special that i dont have to deal with it, I just made sure that i didnt have to deal with it by takin intiative and leaving.I dont plan on having any contact with my mom either once i am emncipated or 18. It is basically only my mom. I really like my dad but he is gay because he is pussywiped by my mom. When they didnt live together he was freaking awesome. He still is better to talk to about discussing this tho.

miccheck
04-29-2005, 10:23 PM
Your parents are you right your 15 and you gonna be out basically on the street, go home and behave until you can afford to be independant.

Stedric
04-29-2005, 11:23 PM
Your parents are you right your 15 and you gonna be out basically on the street, go home and behave until you can afford to be independant.
I can't believe how bloody insensitive you guys are being. I don't know why Penguin doesn't want to live with is parents, but there are PLENTY of good reasons. Don't tell him to "behave" because you know nothing of his situation at home. If he was leaving in a house with neglectful of abusive parents, I wouldn't blame him for leaving. Don't act like he's doing this solely out of spite for his parents.

Encatuse
04-30-2005, 07:34 AM
I can't believe how bloody insensitive you guys are being. I don't know why Penguin doesn't want to live with is parents, but there are PLENTY of good reasons. Don't tell him to "behave" because you know nothing of his situation at home. If he was leaving in a house with neglectful of abusive parents, I wouldn't blame him for leaving. Don't act like he's doing this solely out of spite for his parents.

Sorry stedric, but I think the word you were looking for ((rather then insensitive)) is realistic.

You don't know his full situation either so defending him means you're making just as many assumptions at whoever this guy was.

For most kids the best advice is: Live with your parents til they stop providing for you or it's time to grow up. ((An example of this is not when you're 15. You have some more years before you have to grow up, you should milk them for everything they're worth))

That's not to say that's true in every situation.

Anyway, good luck Penguin. Do what you think is best for you.

Darkneon420
04-30-2005, 07:44 AM
Oh, and i dont mean to infringe on anyone, 'cause after i posted that i started thinking about the "100 post rule:" You shouldn't be giving sage wisdom as if you know everybody's problems unless you've posted more (100 or so). But I'm new, so cut me some slack.:)

Haha its not like that here. ;)
Welcome.


No problem penguin, we all love you. Perhaps thats why she wants you home, because she loves you. But only you know whats best for your envirnment. Your 15 and you've got the common sense to choose your own responablitys. Best of luck! :)

Darkneon420
04-30-2005, 07:50 AM
Oh, and i dont mean to infringe on anyone, 'cause after i posted that i started thinking about the "100 post rule:" You shouldn't be giving sage wisdom as if you know everybody's problems unless you've posted more (100 or so). But I'm new, so cut me some slack.:)

Haha its not like that here. ;)
Welcome.


No problem penguin, we all love you. Perhaps thats why she wants you home, because she loves you. But only you know whats best for your envirnment. Your 15 and you've got the common sense to choose your own responablitys. Best of luck! :)

Edit: Sorri i posted this twice.

2600
04-30-2005, 08:14 AM
Sorry stedric, but I think the word you were looking for ((rather then insensitive)) is realistic.

You don't know his full situation either so defending him means you're making just as many assumptions at whoever this guy was.

For most kids the best advice is: Live with your parents til they stop providing for you or it's time to grow up. ((An example of this is not when you're 15. You have some more years before you have to grow up, you should milk them for everything they're worth))

That's not to say that's true in every situation.

Anyway, good luck Penguin. Do what you think is best for you.

Encatuse- that was written by a teenager, lol. I figure Penguin was looking for "realistic" advice like yours, but probably also wanted some feedback from his peers too. And actually, the mentioning of abuse and neglect might actually have prompted a realization: "Oh yeah, I guess some kids are trapped in a family where they get beat, or locked in a closet. Maybe I don't have it so bad then."

Penguin, sit down and think about how your life would be after you get your "freedom" from your parents. THere are plusses and minusses to every situation. Hope you consider them all. I don't know your mom, but I'd be willing to bet she has your best interest in mind more so than "...someone else to stay with for a while" does. Good luck man.

OreO
04-30-2005, 05:52 PM
if u dontmind me asking, why do/did u feel the need to kill yourself? Did you parents have anything to do with it? Well penguin i had a bad year last year too, i was in bad depression, dropped out of highschool, and almost killed my self a couple times.I had many reasons such as school problems, girlfriend problems, friend problems, and my parents were kind of a problem(my dad is like ur dad about weed). My unce has hep C cause he used to shoot up and my dad always says he started on weed and he is worried that im going to go down that same route. But im not, i have selfcontrol and im not interested in other drugs. just lemme tell u this DONT LET YOUR MOMS call the cops, it will be very bad and im curious why are u running from ur parents and not living with em? I was stubborn(not saying u are) and i was one of those kids that wouldnt listen to there parents and would always piss em off...now things have changed a year later me and my parents are on the best of terms we can be on, we are close,my life is back on track, i communicate with em as if they were my friends, its great, The only issue that still hasnt chagned but has gotten a little better is the weed situation BUT i respect the rules and dont do it in there home. But im saying u should try to compromise with ur mom and dad about stuff, unless they are crazy which i dont know. They need to change some what too tho not only u, parents....they really do help A LOT..atleasst my parents doo.


I guess im just saying try to get on the best of terms with ur parents right now ur only 15 soon to be 16 and if u get emancipated...ur gonna have trouble, u cant get a great job at 15-16 atleast in my area. Life is not fun on ur own, u need parental guidance right now ur not 18 yet...but who knows i dont know u and i dont know what ur capable of but think about it...

DonnieDarko
04-30-2005, 07:29 PM
I won't judge your situation, cause I don't know the specifics. You seem to be pretty mature for a 15 year old, and if it's been good livin with grandma, I'd try to stay there if I were you. Take as much time as you can living there.

You need to get the skills to be an independent adult, and that means some education (GED, trade school, college) and job skills. Lots of kids with tough childhoods end up having good adult lives. Think it through and make the best decision for you.

jadeius
04-30-2005, 08:44 PM
the people that will survive in our information age will be educated, skilled

Stedric
05-01-2005, 02:39 AM
Encatuse- that was written by a teenager, lol. I figure Penguin was looking for "realistic" advice like yours, but probably also wanted some feedback from his peers too. And actually, the mentioning of abuse and neglect might actually have prompted a realization: "Oh yeah, I guess some kids are trapped in a family where they get beat, or locked in a closet. Maybe I don't have it so bad then."

Penguin, sit down and think about how your life would be after you get your "freedom" from your parents. THere are plusses and minusses to every situation. Hope you consider them all. I don't know your mom, but I'd be willing to bet she has your best interest in mind more so than "...someone else to stay with for a while" does. Good luck man.
The reason I was defending StonedPenguin wasn't just because I'm a teenager and have some stupid senseless angst towards my parents (which I don't), I just have a close friend (my best friend in fact) who lived the neglectful parents and wouldn't have maintained sainity very long if he hadn't of moved out. He wasn't happy about it and missed home but it was the smartest decision he could make and he is now doing much better. But I suppose you guys are right, this wouldn't always be the wisest course of action.

NextGen
05-01-2005, 02:57 AM
That sucks pengy. I dont know what to tell ya :/

sToNeDpEnGuIn420
05-02-2005, 07:07 AM
Well ok **UPDATE**
Well right so my mom completely is now acting like she never said that. So we just cleaned up the house and im just gonna wait it out. yup yup Thanks for everyones support

Darkneon420
05-02-2005, 07:28 AM
Does your mom have some kinda mental illness?
Mental moms seem to drive their kids crazy! My moms docter about 2 years ago said she was bipolar...then said she doesent...when clearly she is...ya know now that i think about it they both are probiblly bipolar (the doc and my mom that is) Heh...

Well thats cool your mom isent gunna call the cops and shizz...unless she was lying... :confused: :confused: :confused:

jadeius
05-03-2005, 03:30 PM
Well, penguin, I'm glad you made a decision...and a mature one at that...it's tough with parents, we all know, and like dark said we all love ya just the same because we know how it is...yeah, parents tend to be a little mental..and that can seep through in the kids, they can tend to take things out on kids when they really shouldn't....that's just because they're human, they're not perfect, something's wrong with everyone...I'm sure there's been times when most people have been ill in here and ended up taking it out on someone they shouldn't... but anyways back to the point...penguin, if it don't kill you, it just makes you stronger...and on the same note, someone once said "Pain is just weakness leaving the body." You're gonna run into little things like this with your mom...but just let her say what she has to say, ignore it as much as you can, don't come back at everything she says, even sometimes when you are right... that just pisses them off more...but that's why I say you haven't seen the worst yet, the PARENTS are your first big challenge, learning to comply to your parents will teach you a lot for when you have to go through something else, you'll especially have learned PATIENCE, which is the big word here... if your mom pisses you off, just leave her alone when she's done, and go talk to your dad about it...sounds like you two can talk really well anyways...and have your own life, as much as you can...if you can't get away with smoking weed, then oh well, it's only the next few years of your life, and you've got a good, what, 60 or 70 years left prolly, whereas you've only lived 15 of them...so be patient, everyone gets what's coming to them... and good luck, I speak for everyone when I say that I'm praying for the best for you... much lurve...