I'm FUCT, need help

[ImFuctBad]

Hello everyone.

Here is my scenario:

Iâ??m 28, I weigh in at 150 and Iâ??m 5â?? 7â?�. I donâ??t exercise much but Iâ??m not completely out of shape. I have been smoking almost daily for the past 2 years or so. The weed I have been smoking is not very potent. I am also a heavy drinker. I drink a lot of water, coffee, and at least a 6 pack of beer daily, I always have a glass of fluid on hand. I received a job offer but I need to take a urine test, which Iâ??m pretty sure wonâ??t be supervised. I can probably hold off on the drug test for 5-7 days.

If anyone can give me some advice, I would appreciate it greatly.

Also, I know that THC is stored in fat cells, so has anyone ever tried fasting? Here is something I read about fasting: â??Fasting is actually an efficient way of cleansing your system. If you took three days off and allowed your body to naturally regenerate itself through the use of vegetable juices and water, you can essentially clear your system of most accumulative toxins. This is an effective way to do a body cleanse without the expense of expensive colonic irrigation or colon cleansers. Three days is sufficient to let the body do what it does naturally.â?�

Thanks in advance.

[redtails]

Go to your local headshop/pipe store and talk to them...

[Burnt Toast]

â??Fasting is actually an efficient way of cleansing your system. If you took three days off and allowed your body to naturally regenerate itself through the use of vegetable juices and water, you can essentially clear your system of most accumulative toxins. This is an effective way to do a body cleanse without the expense of expensive colonic irrigation or colon cleansers. Three days is sufficient to let the body do what it does naturally.â?�
This may be true for certain toxins that lead to health ailments, but not for THC. THC is non-toxic, therefore its erroneous to label THC a "toxin". Three days is not enough time for the body of regular users to rid itself of THC.
THC is stored in the fat cells and remain stored until the fat cells are burned for energy. When fat cells burn, the stored THC is released back into the bloodstream and end up in the urine. This is the main reason why THC carries a longer detection period than most other types of drugs.

Exercise does help. But if a person has 3 days before the scheduled U/A, all exercise should stop. The person does not want to be burning fat which would release a bunch of THCA into the bloodstream, which would end up in the urine to be detected.

[ImFuctBad]

Thanks to both of you

@redtails, i don't have many head shops around me. the only ones that exist are also erotic stores. I worry that they may just sell me a useless product?

@Burnt Toast, so what do you think my options are? Any help is appreciative.

[Burnt Toast]

i don't have many head shops around me. the only ones that exist are also erotic stores. I worry that they may just sell me a useless product?
Avoid seeking advice from headshops. They are in business to sell products and more often than not, will resort to false information when making a pitch for those dreaded magic "detox" elixirs.


Burnt Toast, so what do you think my options are? Start off by taking a home THC test to get a baseline on where you stand. When testing yourself, be sure to use the first urination of the day.
If you test "dirty", you have only two viable options:

http://boards.cannabis.com/drug-testing/1146-substitution-tips-tricks-guidelines.html

http://boards.cannabis.com/drug-testing/1147-dilution-tips-tricks-guidelines.html

[redtails]

Avoid seeking advice from headshops. They are in business to sell products and more often than not, will resort to false information when making a pitch for those dreaded magic "detox" elixirs.


While some products don't work, I've PERSONALLY used 3 different "magic" elixers that have worked and have several friends who also passed with them & others(even military intake drug tests). Most have some sort of guarantee, at least a full refund if it doesn't work. The way they work is to temporarily stop your body from burning fat so the THC isn't released into your bloodstream. You take it a few hours before the test & urinate a couple times before to flush your bladder so when you test there's no trace.

[Burnt Toast]

While some products don't work, I've PERSONALLY used 3 different "magic" elixers that have worked and have several friends who also passed with them & others(even military intake drug tests). Most have some sort of guarantee, at least a full refund if it doesn't work. The way they work is to temporarily stop your body from burning fat so the THC isn't released into your bloodstream. A prime example of what Ive pointed out. Nothing but a pure sales pitch to woo the uninformed and gullible. If you take the bogus claims of these potion peddlers at face value, then I've got some oceanfront property in Kansas for sale. If you notice the directions of these magic potions, they often instruct the consumer to avoid exercise when taking the product. Its the avoiding of exercise that stops the fat burning - not the product itself.

All of these magic potions work on the principle of dilution (that is, when they do work). That means they work because of the amount of water that you are required to drink with them. You can spend $50 - $200 on a magic potion and accomplish nothing different than you would accomplish with just vitamin B2 and water. The so-called "guarantees" offered by these peddlers are of no insurance that the snake oil works. Often when a consumer fails after using the product, and makes an attempt to exercise the guarantee, the consumer is often told that...

A) "You did not follow the instructions, therefore the guarantee is void"

B) "Cannabis is illegal, and our products are not to be used for lawfully administered drug tests, therefore the guarantee is void"

In summary, magic detox products are a big scam to capitalize on the so-called "war on drugs". They only exist to seperate the credulous from their hard-earned cash. Cannabis users are victimized enough by the so-called "war on drugs" without these leeching scam artists entering the mix.

[ImFuctBad]

Thanks guys for the input. I am going to go the dilute route. My plan of action is to drink lots of water, eat many fruits, and run out to the vitamin store and get some b-12 and psyllium. I'm going to have to take this test within the next 48-69 hours. I will continue with diluting my system, take vitamins and test myself the night before. Fingers crossed.

[Burnt Toast]

I am going to go the dilute route. My plan of action is to drink lots of water, eat many fruits, and run out to the vitamin store and get some b-12 and psyllium. I'm going to have to take this test within the next 48-69 hours. I will continue with diluting my system, take vitamins and test myself the night before.
Drinking water days before the scheduled U/A is of no help. It may cause frequent urination, but it has no effect on the rate in which THCA is filtered from the bloodstream by the kidneys. Drinking water is only helpful on the day of the U/A.
The effects of dilution are only temporary. Once all of the fluids ingested had been urinated out, a "dirty" donor will resume testing positive for THC.

[Burnt Toast]

Pure sales pitch my ass, idiot. Flaming can get your membership yanked, pal. I suggest you go back and refresh yourself of the messageboard rules for your own good! :postreadrulez:



I'm a baker & have absolutely no ties to any companies that sell or make the products. Nobody in this thread has claimed that you are affiliated with the peddlers of these snake oil products. But since you (and you only) had opened up that avenue, let me ask you this: If youre not shilling for the companies, why are you taking on such a defensive posture ...hmmm?



I'm just offering advice from my own experience and those whom I know. Thats all well and good, but if you go on and parrot the peddlers bogus sales pitches....

The way they work is to temporarily stop your body from burning fat so the THC isn't released into your bloodstream. ..you'll only look bad in the eyes of the people who really know how drug testing works, how the body processes THC, and what actually affects the outcome of the drug test and how.



you obviously don't have an open mind and some negative preconceved notions about these If killing the spread of misinformation is considered "closed-minded" then I'll be happy to plea guilty as charged. :rolleyes: In the drug testing forum, misinformation doesnt fly far - not when theres livelihoods, families, and freedoms hinging on the outcome of a drug test. We prefer to keep things factual in the drug testing forum. If you dont like the idea that the reader is held to a high standard of fact, well sorry. Thats how it is here and shall remain. An if that idea is somehow not your cup of tea, then perhaps the drug testing forum is not for you.



so stay in your own little world and don't bother learning anything new... Theres nothing new about touting the efficacy (or lack thereof) of magic elixirs - this forum is filled with them. You have not created a new wrinkle here -try the Search feature and see it for yourself.




Oh & diluted tests often come up as a FAIL from what I've seen Overdiluting will send up the red flags. If you done any research and put such research to practice, you would discover that dilution is a balancing act. Theres countless posts of others who pulled off a successful dilute without going overboard and sending up the red flags.

[redtails]

Wow, sorry to ever say anything oh master of the piss test.

If killing the spread of misinformation is considered "closed-minded" then I'll be happy to plea guilty as charged. :rolleyes:

Theres nothing new about touting the efficacy (or lack thereof) of magic elixirs - this forum is filled with them. You have not created a new wrinkle here -try the Search feature and see it for yourself.

If stating FACTS from personal experience is spreading misinformation, then I'm sorry. I've used 3 different products on 3 seperate occassions and NONE have ever failed me. I have one friend who failed the army intake urine analysis on one product, but got his money reimbursed with an extra 10% after mailing in his test results and proof of purchase...Then went on to pass his next test on the same product, while actually following directions this time. That's not hearsay from him, I was there taking the tests as well.


Overdiluting will send up the red flags. If you done any research and put such research to practice, you would discover that dilution is a balancing act. Theres countless posts of others who pulled off a successful dilute without going overboard and sending up the red flags.
If it's such a "balancing act" then why are you recommending it? Why not just say use synthetic or someone else's urine?

Regardless, I'm done with this forum so you can stop picking my posts apart in scrutiny because you're the only one that can be right. Maybe if I had a scientific study about my results you'd believe them, but you would probably still be "closed-minded"...

Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda

[Burnt Toast]

If stating FACTS from personal experience is spreading misinformation, then I'm sorry. I've used 3 different products on 3 seperate occassions and NONE have ever failed me. I have one friend who failed the army intake urine analysis on one product, but got his money reimbursed with an extra 10% after mailing in his test results and proof of purchase...Then went on to pass his next test on the same product, while actually following directions this time. That's not hearsay from him, I was there taking the tests as well.
Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda Oh are we now into making unoriginal quotes from others? :rolleyes: Well heres my entry:

"Multiple pieces of anecdotal evidence do not equal scientific fact." - Rhizome

If everything were to be based on personal experience, it would be a pretty sad existence.



If it's such a "balancing act" then why are you recommending it? Its apparent that you have no clue what I mean when I say that dilution is a balancing act, so let me put it in a way that is more understanding: The purpose of diluting is to drink only enough fluids to "thin out" the THCA concentration just enough for the sample to register below the cutoff thresholds of the drug screen.


Why not just say use synthetic or someone else's urine? If you searched any of my past posts, you'll discover that I do recommend subbing - if the conditions warrant it. In fact, I have recommended subbing more times than I had recommended diluting, and my past posts have all beared this out.

[Dutch Pimp]

If ...Burnt Toast said it!...you can take that info to the bank...:thumbsup:

[Deige]

I agree.. Its nothing personal Redtails, this is just the way we do things here in the drug testing forum. We never recommend detox drinks because they do the same as dilution at a much higher cost. As far as their guarantee... Well,

"If you want me to take a crap in a box and mark it guarantee I will, believe me Ive got time". - Tommy Callahan

I'll go with N2's dilution method any day, it's reliable and I guarantee it.:thumbsup:

[redtails]

Tell me, what would you call "scientific fact" then? No I didn't log my results or pay 100's of dollars having my urine independently tested multiple times, but where I'm at it's still a fact that I passed the tests using only the drinks mere days after smoking 1/4oz or more. Just plain waiting it out after quitting took me 45 days to get clean, these drinks saved me from going to jail when I didn't have the willpower to quit smoking.

And apparently you didn't understand me either, but I'm not going to point it out to you. I'll refrain from trying to help here, I obviously don't have as much experience trying to defraud the system as some on here. I'll just say if you want to pass a test, the best & most reliable way is to STOP USING and leave it at that...

[Burnt Toast]

where I'm at it's still a fact that I passed the tests using only the drinks mere days after smoking 1/4oz or more.

these drinks saved me from going to jail when I didn't have the willpower to quit smoking. You may have passed using the potions, but it wasnt because they "stopped your body from burning fat" nonsense. Like I said, thats just a sales pitch based on misinformation brought on by the potion peddlers, and youve fell for it like a five year old kid - hook, line, and sinker.
It clearly hasnt occurred to you that when you are ingesting any liquids, you are effectively diluting the THCA concentration thats present in the bladder. So why keep feeding the scam artists by spending huge sums of money on an overpriced bottle of vitamin water when you can accomplish the same thing for $$$ less by following N2's Dilution sticky thread?


And apparently you didn't understand me either, but I'm not going to point it out to you. Probably because you have nothing to point out. :rolleyes:


I'll refrain from trying to help here Youve already stated in post #12 that you were "through with this forum". Obviously that turned out to be a lie.


I obviously don't have as much experience trying to defraud the system as some on here. It shows.

[Burnt Toast]

People have failed with dilution, people I know personally, that's why I went with the Vale drink If what youre saying is indeed true, then those "people that you know personally" wouldve failed that same test that same day using the Vale drink as well.

[redtails]

So much anger and hate spewing from this guy.

...I'm not even bashing you man, yet you keep on the defensive. Chill, smoke a bit, then come back with a fresh perspective and LOOK at what you're doing. If your "Flaming will get you banned buddy" statement to me in karma is true (which I've still gone up almost 100pts since you dissaproved of my post yesterday: for my GOOD posts), then read what's coming from your keyboard and change your ways before you end up gone...Put that rage into a more positive venue & try to help instead of just dissecting my posts. ANYONE can find errors in any posts if they look at it in scrutiny: want me to correct your grammar and punctuation for you?

I know you have some sort of hatred for the detox drinks, maybe you've had bad experiences, but you can't totally dismiss them if they obviously work for a lot of people. Maybe my statement about the fat burning was in error, I'm sorry. I was just going from what I remembered on one of the bottles. I honestly don't think spending the $20-50 on these wasn't worth it to pass the tests. N2's dilution method wasn't around on the net when I took the tests, I'm glad it is now so others don't have to resort to "snake oil" (hate the term BTW, I'm a lifelong herpetophile so it just sounds so wrong) like myself and thousands of other have.

Now, I think we can all get along right? I came back just to see what was up, & curiosity got the better of me. I'm sorry my will wasn't as strong as I had hoped, but at least I have a better attitude today about it :thumbsup:

[thehotcompost]

Hello everyone.

Here is my scenario:

Iâ??m 28, I weigh in at 150 and Iâ??m 5â?? 7â?�. I donâ??t exercise much but Iâ??m not completely out of shape. I have been smoking almost daily for the past 2 years or so. The weed I have been smoking is not very potent. I am also a heavy drinker. I drink a lot of water, coffee, and at least a 6 pack of beer daily, I always have a glass of fluid on hand. I received a job offer but I need to take a urine test, which Iâ??m pretty sure wonâ??t be supervised. I can probably hold off on the drug test for 5-7 days.

If anyone can give me some advice, I would appreciate it greatly.

Also, I know that THC is stored in fat cells, so has anyone ever tried fasting? Here is something I read about fasting: â??Fasting is actually an efficient way of cleansing your system. If you took three days off and allowed your body to naturally regenerate itself through the use of vegetable juices and water, you can essentially clear your system of most accumulative toxins. This is an effective way to do a body cleanse without the expense of expensive colonic irrigation or colon cleansers. Three days is sufficient to let the body do what it does naturally.â?�

Thanks in advance.Whe i went to Prison you have 28 days to clean your system out,smoking cannibis daily and reguarly you need at least 3 weeks there are many ways around this you come to find.In Jail you are Scrutinized whilst giving a urine test,i have a sure fire way for you to beat the test,simple really if you havent had any serious ways to do this let me know take care

[redtails]

If what youre saying is indeed true, then those "people that you know personally" wouldve failed that same test that same day using the Vale drink as well.

Not necessarily, like you said yourself, dilution is "a balancing act" and you have to drink "only enough" water to dilute the urine to "just enough" concentration, so there's a lot more room for error unless you have instructions like in the link you provided or on the label of the drink...See, I do pay attention, & already understood it; that's what I meant about you not understanding me btw, but now it's spelled out.

[Burnt Toast]

If your "Flaming will get you banned buddy" statement to me in karma is true (which I've still gone up almost 100pts since you dissaproved of my post yesterday: for my GOOD posts), then read what's coming from your keyboard and change your ways before you end up gone...Obviously, your definition of "flaming" needs work - more work than a dilapidated vehicle in a salvage yard. FYI, flaming means name-calling. And nowhere in my posts did I ever resort to name calling (like you did in post #10), because I would never do such a thing. I have more respect for the board rules to do that. :jointsmile:

[redtails]

And there's no forum ettiquette in your rules or world? How about turn the other cheek or if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all? I know I'm a little guilty but that's no excuse to get bent out of shape, we're here trying to learn from and teach each other. I thought I could offer my advice from personal experience with drug tests, but I forgot that even stoners can get angry and abusive sometimes...Didn't think it was so sensitive a subject as religion or politics but I guess some people hold the littlest ideals, beliefs, & "knowledge" in high regard and are as inflexible as when discussing healthcare and dogma.

[Burnt Toast]

Not necessarily, like you said yourself, dilution is "a balancing act" and you have to drink "only enough" water to dilute the urine to "just enough" concentration Oh yes its so necessarily. Because of the fact that detox drinks are diluters, what makes you think his aquaintances would not fail that same test that same day using the Vale?

What needs to be realized is that dilution techniques in any configuration (whether its a magic potion, the N2 method, etc) can backfire if the THCA concentration in the bladder is too high. For most regular users, its virtually impossible to dilute that concentration without overdiluting and sending up the red flags at the lab.

[thehotcompost]

Oh yes its so necessarily. Because of the fact that detox drinks are diluters, what makes you think his aquaintances would not fail that same test that same day using the Vale?

What needs to be realized is that dilution techniques in any configuration (whether its a magic potion, the N2 method, etc) can backfire if the THCA concentration in the bladder is too high. For most regular users, its virtually impossible to dilute that concentration without overdiluting and sending up the red flags at the lab.Just use a simple illusion my friend cant beleive wat ive read to beat a piss test.......................

[redtails]

What needs to be realized is that dilution techniques in any configuration (whether its a magic potion, the N2 method, etc) can backfire if the THCA concentration in the bladder is too high. For most regular users, its virtually impossible to dilute that concentration without overdiluting and sending up the red flags at the lab.

I completely agree with that statement. The part I meant to emphasize is the structured instructions required to get the balancing act to work. I'm sure his buddies and I know mine didn't use stringent guidelines and subsequently failed. They MIGHT have passed using the drink or N2's method, but they wouldn't have definitely failed like you implied.

[Burnt Toast]

And there's no forum ettiquette in your rules or world? Were not talking about "my rules". We're talking about the rules of Cannabis.com, which takes total precedence over "my rules", your rules, and every other members "rules". And Cannabis.coms rules prohibit name-calling, in which you violated. Not me.


How about turn the other cheek or if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all?


we're here trying to learn from and teach each other.

Keep both of these in mind the next time you resort to name-calling when somebody is setting the record straight. ;)

[thehotcompost]

I completely agree with that statement. The part I meant to emphasize is the structured instructions required to get the balancing act to work. I'm sure his buddies and I know mine didn't use stringent guidelines and subsequently failed. They MIGHT have passed using the drink or N2's method, but they wouldn't have definitely failed like you implied.and im nobody lol........

[ImFuctBad]

Thanks for the help everyone. I'm sorry that I opened such a heated discussion.
So my test is tomorrow, anytime before 3. I have been clean for 3 days so far. Today I purchased 2 home drug tests. I used one earlier today and the results weren't 100% clear. Now some background on my day. Morning around 8ish drank 2 large cups of coffee, then drank about 5 glasses of water and took about 6 vitamin b complex pills which includes vitamin b2, b12, niacin amongst a hand full of other vitamins, didn't eat much except for some bananas and a few hard boiled eggs. So around 3ish I took the test. When I pissed into my cup my pee color was slightly yellow, which was nice to see after drinking so much water.

My test kit states "a red or pink colored line next to the word control and a red or pink line next to the word drug indicates negative results, regardless of how dark or faint the lines may appear"

Now, my "line" was ever so slightly faded... barely noticeable at first glance...
I attached the photo of the results.

Now my confidence is pretty much were it was before. I have 1 more home test that I will use tomorrow before the test. If my results aren't clearer than I am going to have to go with the substitution route..

I prefer not to get any flushing detox fluids or pills only because I can't seem to find consistent answers.

Take a look at the pic of my results. Tell me what you all think? Thanks!

[thehotcompost]

Thanks for the help everyone. I'm sorry that I opened such a heated discussion.
So my test is tomorrow, anytime before 3. I have been clean for 3 days so far. Today I purchased 2 home drug tests. I used one earlier today and the results weren't 100% clear. Now some background on my day. Morning around 8ish drank 2 large cups of coffee, then drank about 5 glasses of water and took about 6 vitamin b complex pills which includes vitamin b2, b12, niacin amongst a hand full of other vitamins, didn't eat much except for some bananas and a few hard boiled eggs. So around 3ish I took the test. When I pissed into my cup my pee color was slightly yellow, which was nice to see after drinking so much water.

My test kit states "a red or pink colored line next to the word control and a red or pink line next to the word drug indicates negative results, regardless of how dark or faint the lines may appear"

Now, my "line" was ever so slightly faded... barely noticeable at first glance...
I attached the photo of the results.

Now my confidence is pretty much were it was before. I have 1 more home test that I will use tomorrow before the test. If my results aren't clearer than I am going to have to go with the substitution route..

I prefer not to get any flushing detox fluids or pills only because I can't seem to find consistent answers.

Take a look at the pic of my results. Tell me what you all think? Thanks!Get some of ya mates piss in a test tube with a cork in strap it under ya dick and just pop the cork empty and put cork back zip up and bobs ya uncle heat it under a hot tap before hand thats a sure fire way of gettin a clean

[Burnt Toast]

Morning around 8ish drank 2 large cups of coffee, then drank about 5 glasses of water and took about 6 vitamin b complex pills which includes vitamin b2, b12, niacin amongst a hand full of other vitamins, didn't eat much except for some bananas and a few hard boiled eggs



Forget the niacin because its a myth. It does nothing to help pass a U/A.

As far as your FirstCheck results, I cant make out the picture (even after I maximized it). Can you provide a more blown-up picture of the test result? Thanks.

[TurboALLWD]

If what youre saying is indeed true, then those "people that you know personally" wouldve failed that same test that same day using the Vale drink as well.

Completely disagree, as redtails said, there's directions on the bottle. It's hard to screw it up, my friends have failed with taking vitamins and drinking too much water, with the drink, you have to be really stupid to drink more water than what the directions tell you to, and when to. BTW my friend who owns a detox business doesn't even sell vale so you know I'm not being biased. I'm pretty sure it's sold at a lot of head shops, at least that's where I found it way back. I bet theres plenty of drinks that work, and some that don't. Take it easy :rastasmoke:

[TurboALLWD]

Get some of ya mates piss in a test tube with a cork in strap it under ya dick and just pop the cork empty and put cork back zip up and bobs ya uncle heat it under a hot tap before hand thats a sure fire way of gettin a clean


Unfortunately I had to go that route a few times before I found the drink. Never tie a condom full of urine to a air freshener bungie cord and then to you're boxers, it can and will break sending the urine filled sack down you're pant leg and on to the floor, if that happens while you're 2 steps from the bathroom where you take the test, try to lightly kick it into the bathroom without the collection lady seeing you do it, just like I did :D It's best to wear tighty whities to prevent anything like this ever happening to you.

[Burnt Toast]

It's hard to screw it up, my friends have failed with taking vitamins and drinking too much water, with the drink, you have to be really stupid to drink more water than what the directions tell you to, and when to. Which is proof positive that Vale, like any other magic potion, works because of the water that youre instructed by the directions to drink with them. With that being said, and like Ive asked Redtails, why feed the scam artists by spending huge sums of money on a bottled diluter when you can duplicate those actions for $$$ less by following the guidelines outlined in the Dilution sticky?

[psychodelic]

I agree.. Its nothing personal Redtails, this is just the way we do things here in the drug testing forum. We never recommend detox drinks because they do the same as dilution at a much higher cost. As far as their guarantee... Well,

"If you want me to take a crap in a box and mark it guarantee I will, believe me Ive got time". - Tommy Callahan

I'll go with N2's dilution method any day, it's reliable and I guarantee it.:thumbsup:

"I was checkin' the specs on the...rotary....girder..."

"Hey that's a pretty lady down there...I wonder if she goes out with one of the YANKEES!??"