bad ass poems

[bigverybig]

i went up the mountain all covered in mud
i saw my poor teacher all covered in blood
a axe in the stomach an knift though her head
i couldnt believe my poor techer was dead
i went to her funeral i went to her grave
some people threw flowers and i shot a grenade
and jus to be sure she was dead
i took a bazooka and blew off her
god damn head


the end.
p.s. i was 10 years old when i wrote this. i got suspended from school for a week :D :D :D

[Etrain]

...More...Weed...Less..."bad ass poems."

[tokinsmoke]

i went up the mountain all covered in mud
i saw my poor teacher all covered in blood
a axe in the stomach an knift though her head
i couldnt believe my poor techer was dead
i went to her funeral i went to her grave
some people threw flowers and i shot a grenade
and jus to be sure she was dead
i took a bazooka and blew off her
god damn head


the end.
p.s. i was 10 years old when i wrote this. i got suspended from school for a week :D :D :D

thats a old poem...
i heard that when i was 2......
c'mon....dont lie u didnt make that up

lol

peace

[Looker]

Some come here to sit and think...

Some come here to shit and stink...

I come here to rub my balls...

And read the bullshit on the walls.....

[Looker]

Wow I really got a bathroom motif goin on with that huh???

Stall toilet....bathroom poem...head in toilet plunger avatar and everything..

[Tha]

...More...Weed...Less..."bad ass poems."


Yes...please...

[robert42]

last nite i shit my self,
the brown stain
and the ring sting pain
not forgettin the lump of brown
the made me mad and made me frown
so i picked it up
put it in a cup
and downed that shit to the suds

[bigverybig]

thats a old poem...
i heard that when i was 2......
c'mon....dont lie u didnt make that up

lol

peace
are you crazy i wrote this with a girl in grade 3 and the teacher was a bitch she told us to team up with a partner and and write a poem so me and the girl wrote it and after we got suspended ok

ps i am 25 years old so you must be 13 or less :mad:

[Shaolin]

Someone didn't smoke enough as a child..

[thatone420kid]

yea dude i heard a similar version of the theacher must die poems, im almost positive ive heard that one before...its not very nice to lie...

[tokinsmoke]

im 20 thank u......
ive heard that before so shut the hell up.....

damn

peace

[bigverybig]

you must be smoking plastic or crazy glue its not good for you.
do you hear thing in your head too
good luck and yes i did write it ok

ps smoke the good weed ok

[ermitonto]

One time in middle school I had to write a poem and I did mine on the creation and development of the universe, but I hated doing the project so if you read the first letter of every other line backwards it read "MRS MEHRMAN SUCKS". Well, a couple days later Mrs. Mehrman wanted to talk to me about my poem. I was afraid she found my hidden message but instead she asked me "Did you really write this poem?", so I said yes and then she asked me what it was about and I explained it to her and she just said "OK" and sent me on my way. It was probably because I actually applied a meter and rhyme scheme to my poem unlike everybody else.

[Dick Justice]

I had a poetry assignment once, and I wrote about how books are like trees because they're made of dead trees. Inspired, I know.

[tokinsmoke]

you must be smoking plastic or crazy glue its not good for you.
do you hear thing in your head too
good luck and yes i did write it ok

ps smoke the good weed ok

ok ok u win........geez
but i know ive heard that before.....
whatever u say ya know......
im sure others agree with me......

and i would smoke the good shit but
im pregnant so....

peace

[Dick Justice]

Yeah, I've definitely heard that one, too. That ranks somewhere around the old "jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg" ditty.

[ermitonto]

Perhaps you're thinking of a song Nelson Muntz sang on the Simpsons:

Joy to the world, the teacher's dead.
We barbequed her head.
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty.
And 'round and 'round it goes.
And 'round and 'round it goes...

[Dick Justice]

Heh, I remember that one too. But I definitely remember that first poem. Sung to the tune of "On Top of Old Smokey." I almost remember the other verses, actually.

How pathetic. I've retained more knowledge from third grade than freshman year.

[bigdaddy420]

I thought of a poem while reading this thread. You guys have probably hear it but here goes.

Mary had a little lamb
And she tied it to a heater
Everytime it turned around
It burned it's little................foot.

[Dick Justice]

There once was a man from Nantucket
He told his dear wife to come give him a back rub.

[thatone420kid]

There once was a man from nantucket
his dick was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin,
if my mouth was a pussy id fuck it.

There once was a man from Kenass,
his balls were made out of brass,
for in stormy weather, hed clap them together,
and lighting shot out of his ass.


wow the good old childhood days...

[ermitonto]

There once was a girl from Regina,
Who had an infected vagina,
'Twas the cause of her death,
So she used her last breath,
To say "Somebody get me a gyne--!"

(Wrote that one meself :D)

[thatone420kid]

pretty wonderful, thats one i havent heard of before

[az666]

The laughing lovers of the pretender
The thin bones in flesh,
Missing by the savagely jolly day
For spoke tides blaze
With no more eyes than the fishwife

[NowhereMan]

quicky poem for the masses


georgy porgie can eat texas cowpies
he dont get head he says he dont tell lies
used our cash to biuld a new aged ark
gonna fly it to mars and then slap it in park

'can ya hear me huston'
is this signal clear
it was a great flight
untill the capt'n turned out queer
we had to slow down
just to throw his ass out
tell the brains in the lab
now they aint no doubt
you cant open the hatch
at half the speed of light
and tell the guys in the labs
it was a hell of sight
when loverboy
went out the door
in a blink of the eye
he just was no more
we luaghed like stoners
smoking some killer grass
when he sucked himself
up his own sorry ass
you can call him
a casualty
say it was space dust
or low gravity
he was a brutally mean
cold hearted nut
he tied up
two of the crew
one he screwed
in the butt
but dont tell
america that
fill a lie full
of goverment fat
say the bastard
saved every life
cuase we all
feel sorrow for
by his kid
and his wife
we will be home
in a few years
we all miss
hamburgers and beers
so plan on a party
you know what
we all surely need
go tell george fucking bush
to legalize weed

[Pass The Rizla]

One fine day in the middle of the night,
two dead men got up to fight,
back to back they faced each other,
drew there swords and shot each other!

[Toffee]

for all my maltese friends!!! man how much we loved to sing this at school. i remeber lots of others but i dont want to write them down (i found this ready hehe)





IL-POEMA TA' DUN PAWL CASHA MULA


Katarina ta' l-imtiehen
f'nofs ta lejl hassitu diehel
qaltli "Pawlu dan xi jkun?
filli rieqed filli jqum?"

Jien ghidt "dak l-arblu tar-razza
ittih tnejn u tilma tazza
dik persuntu tpaxxi l-ghajnejn
nitfaghhulek naqsmek tnejn"

Qaltli "pawlu nixtieq nipprova
imma fih riha ta ncova"
jien ghidtilha "lanqas jimporta,
kemm int kerha qishek torta"

"Ejja Pawl dahhlu sal-bajd
halli ndur dahri mal-hajt
imma skossja u tini pjacir
halli nhossa m'oxxi ttir"

"ahh Katrina x'gost ittini,
qed inhossa ser tigini,
kemm inhossni ferjan,
anki zobbi sar arqan"

"Anki int ragel tal genn,
x'ras ghandu ostja man!
u kif gibtli oxxi hara
inti veru ttiha gost mara"

"Katarina !! wasslet sewwa
x'gost qed niehu ndahhlu gewwa
ara gejja ha ntajjara,
u ma halqek infarfara"

"Iftah halqek ha tilqa kollox
erdaghhuli bil-bajd b'kollox.
ghandek ragun tghid li hu kbir
ghax flok tazza mlejt barmil"

"Grazzi Katarina, tassew fik gost
toqghodx tghid kemm jiena tost
nergghu niltaqghu bhal-lum 8'ijiem
ha nerdghalek kullimkien"

"Iva Pawl, halli f'idejja
niehdu nejka bhal tal-lejla
izda qabel iddahhlu gewwa,
jekk joghgbok, tista tahslu sewwa?"


hahahhaha



something for the other english speaking people (a poem about politicians)


State of the land

The country was in such a terrible state,
Parliament rose for a budget debate,
It was quite a few moments before Alfred spoke
When he said â??sex will cost ten quid a pokeâ?�

Whether you are short , long or skinny or thick,
The tax will be paid on the use of your prick,
Lino Spiteri said â??now Alfred, look here,
Will the tax still be paid for the boys who are queer?

Sciberras Trigona arose looking glum,
â??will I be exempt coz I only like bum?â?�
Alfred replied and sounded quite airy
â??Youâ??ll f***ing pay double you dirty old fairy!â?�

So up stood Eddie to tremendous applause,
He grabbed Helena Dalli, and whipped off her drawers
He straddled across her and f***ed he at will
Then shouted to Alfred â??put that on your billâ?�

Gavin Gulia shouted â??I think Iâ??ll resignâ?�
I havenâ??t had pussy for a very long time,
I dream every night of a big juicy crotch,
But ten quid a jump is a bit f***ing much

The debate carried on, â??oh what a night
Alfred was bonking every woman in sight
The whole house was screwing, the speaker was too
And in the excitement the dumb bill went through

So now in the bedrrroms of Malta each night
Thereâ??s many a fanny closed up good and tight
Theyâ??re taxing our water, our light and our smokes
And now these same bastards are taxing our pokes

If ten pounds a time is the price we must pay,
It is with ourselves that we no have to play,
So to quench our frustration, we must have a wank
For the state of the country, we have Alfred to thank

(M-Arcus)

[boywonder]

One fine day in the middle of the night,
two dead men got up to fight,
back to back they faced each other,
drew there swords and shot each other!

they drew swords and shot each other how does that work?

[smokeyjan420]

that was excellent i give two thumbs up

[Blowboy]

"'In ancient days, while yet the world was young,
Ere Abram fed his flocks or Homer sung;
When blacksmith Tubal tamed creative fire,
And Jabal dwelt in tents and Jubal struck the lyre;
Flesh grown corrupt brought forth a monstrous birth
And obscene giants trod the shrinking earth,
Till God, impatient of their sinful brood,
Gave rein to wrath and drown'd them in the Flood.
Teeming again, repeopled Tellus bore
The lubber Hero and the Man of War;
Huge towers of Brawn, topp'd with an empty Skull,
Witlessly bold, heroically dull.
Long ages pass'd and Man grown more refin'd,
Slighter in muscle but of vaster Mind,
Smiled at his grandsire's broadsword, bow and bill,
And learn'd to wield the Pencil and the Quill.
The glowing canvas and the written page
Immortaliz'd his name from age to age,
His name emblazon'd on Fame's temple wall;
For Art grew great as Humankind grew small.
Thus man's long progress step by step we trace;
The Giant dies, the hero takes his place;
The Giant vile, the dull heroic Block:
At one we shudder and at one we mock.
Man last appears. In him the Soul's pure flame
Burns brightlier in a not inord'nate frame.
Of old when Heroes fought and Giants swarmed,
Men were huge mounds of matter scarce inform'd;
Wearied by leavening so vast a mass,
The spirit slept and all the mind was crass.
The smaller carcase of these later days
Is soon inform'd; the Soul unwearied plays
And like a Pharos darts abroad her mental rays.
But can we think that Providence will stay
Man's footsteps here upon the upward way?
Mankind in understanding and in grace
Advanc'd so far beyond the Giants' race?
Hence impious thought! Still led by GOD'S own Hand,
Mankind proceeds towards the Promised Land.
A time will come (prophetic, I descry
Remoter dawns along the gloomy sky),
When happy mortals of a Golden Age
Will backward turn the dark historic page,
And in our vaunted race of Men behold
A form as gross, a Mind as dead and cold,
As we in Giants see, in warriors of old.
A time will come, wherein the soul shall be
From all superfluous matter wholly free;
When the light body, agile as a fawn's,
Shall sport with grace along the velvet lawns.
Nature's most delicate and final birth,
Mankind perfected shall possess the earth.
But ah, not yet! For still the Giants' race,
Huge, though diminish'd, tramps the Earth's fair face;
Gross and repulsive, yet perversely proud,
Men of their imperfections boast aloud.
Vain of their bulk, of all they still retain
Of giant ugliness absurdly vain;
At all that's small they point their stupid scorn
And, monsters, think themselves divinely born.
Sad is the Fate of those, ah, sad indeed,
The rare precursors of the nobler breed!
Who come man's golden glory to foretell,
But pointing Heav'nwards live themselves in Hell.'

Just read this in Huxley's "Crome Yellow", fucked up poem :stoned:

[friendowl]

lil jack horner went to the corner to fuck his girlfriend dry he stuck in his thumb and made the bitch cum and said what a hella of a homie am i

[jermany]

__________________
"The Jungle Creed
says the strongest feed
on any prey it can
and I was branded beast
at every feast
before I ever became a man."