still lonesome... [Archive] - Green Grass Forums

daihashi

10-22-2008, 02:02 AM

Can't make any friends... of course I haven't really tried because no one I run into has any of the same interests... tired of it.

Don't want to deal with socialites... don't feel like dealing with general ignorance, which even I suffer from, but I can't get over it....

Been reading my Bible more often, but it's still SO hard to be by yourself 24/7... even when around others. My mind is always racing and nothing seems to add up.

After three years of reading this site, I still find myself making stupid mistakes (look under indoor growing for semi-right setup)....

To be 23... I have a horrible outlook on life. You guys are the only ones I have to talk to, and I haven't been talking much on here.

Anyone know what I'm talkin about? Is it just the "poor me" syndrome or could my anxiety and depression be legit?

I know exactly what you went through. It took a relationship gone wrong for me to realize what was wrong with my current outlook on life. I was constantly looking for happiness outside myself. I was looking for happiness through the comfort of friends or through relationships; yet everything disappointed me.

People disappointed me and I was convinced that people would always let you down. I would do things for people and go out of my way to be nice and I never felt appreciated. The same would hold true for my relationships. If I didn't get the response I was expecting from the other person involved I would become very depressed.. convinced that either I didn't fit in or that the world was a horrible miserable place.

Someone then told me the obvious. Do not have expectations. I didn't understand until 1-2 years later; but after much self reflection it totally made sense. My disappointment in people, the world and all my relationships had nothing to do with other people. My disappointment and unhappiness had to do with my expectations of what 'should be'.

When you expect someone to respond to you a certain way.. when you expect someone to understand your point of view, when you expect someone to love you back then you set yourself up for sadness. The only expectation you should ever have is of yourself. When you can find happiness in yourself and let go of your expectations of others then things become much easier.

When I do things for people now I do it out of genuinity and do not expect them to say thank you or seem appreciative. The fact that I wanted to do it is enough satisfaction for me. Knowing I was able to help this person is enough. When someone doesn't understand my point of view, and this one is a hard one but ultimatley, I let it go and accept that we are just different people and I try to learn more about people from the conflict/contrast. When I do not receive the response I'm hoping for from my significant other I don't mind, I let it go and accept that she may think differently or express her love, appreciation, comfort etc etc differently from me.. therefore what I perceive to be a lack of caring is within myself and not within the others.

All the unhappiness we feel in this world stems from ourselves. No one can MAKE you unhappy. Only you can make yourself unhappy but at the same time only YOU can make yourself happy/content.

Knowing this I have been able to let go of the attachment to reciprocation or expectations and focus on myself. I've realized *I* am a good person. I've realized *I* am pretty funny. I've realized *I* am attractive.. I've realized *I* genuinely care.. I've realized that I an intelligent and knowledgable.. and I've realized that no one else is me; therefore I shouldn't hold them up to my same standards or expect them to act as I would.

Since then I've found happiness in myself.. With this lack of attachment and happiness within myself I've also found happiness in life.

I am not sure if anything I said has made sense or if you can understand it. It took me a few years to grasp this concept but once I did I have never been happier.

Do not look elsewhere to be content just realize that nothing and no one will be like you and expecting someone or society to act as you do will only lead to sadness and disappointment; but if you let go of this then you can see things for what they really are.

Everything, everyone and every social group/society is different. If you happen to find someone similar to you then find joy in that you have a kindred spirit in life but also find joy in that everyone is different.

Let go of expectations.

ps: your anxiety and depression could be legit, but before you do something drastic I suggest you take a strong look at yourself and ask yourself if you feel the way you do because it's your outlook or if things are REALLY the way you perceive them.

ie: if you feel like everyone hates you then do they? Are they walking past you on a daily basis telling you you're worthless or do you just FEEL that they hate you?

I've noticed something since my change. People directly reflect back the mood and persona which you put out; however they can sense the difference between being genuine and not. Look inside yourself for the answers.

pss: I'm not high. I've actually been dead sober for almost 2 months now (wish i had some weed though.. lol)

NextLineIsMine

10-22-2008, 02:30 AM

JohnnyZ

10-22-2008, 05:29 AM

You smoke weed and you're depressed? You sir are an anomaly to modern science.

On the real though man, cheer the F up. Look at yourself; you're young, handsome presumably, and honest. You have so much to look forward to. Just imagine yourself 10 years from now. You could have a family and a steady job somewhere with really nice health benefits, but no massage therapy coverage which kind of leaves a little thorn in your side, and your wife is expecting.

But none of that will happen if you don't get off your lazy ass and do something with you life. No excuses. Go to self confidence courses if you need to, or some Tony Robbins thing if that's your steez.

Seriously man, you probably have no real problems so you have to create yourself some issues. Maybe you need some good sativa bud, get your mind right. You're straight trippin boo.

Wanna hug it out?

Trip06

10-22-2008, 06:31 AM

How about people start living defferently, Check out this website Zeitgeist - The Movie (http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/) After I watched the videos I stumbled apon it changed me. I would hope out of all places cannabis users would understand what Im getting at. Maybe im a little late with this "enlightenment" but better late then never.

Trip06

10-22-2008, 09:37 AM

I could never go wrong not having a Job ever again, Looking into a NONprofit organizations, Growing and Hunting My Own food, Not driving gasoline powered veheicles. Never watching TV again, Using solar powered shit. No I couldnt, it would be probuly the purest most Right life possible.

killerweed420

10-22-2008, 04:36 PM

Yeah but what happens after they put the mark of the beast on everybody but you?:jointsmile:

dlovejah

10-22-2008, 04:55 PM

Hello there.. I can feel you hurting... My friend I think your suffering from depression with a big dose of anxiety that stays with it... Believe it or not,,with certain forms of depression and anxiety, the worse thing you can do is smoke marijuana.. I believe wholeheartedly in medical marijuana and am for the legalization of ganja, and am a smoker. This does not mean that the herb will cure all ailments.:rastasmoke: Intelligent people often feel like you do,, Its a symptom of knowing a little too much, seeing a little more than most... Bless and take care...d:hippy:

Trip06

10-22-2008, 11:12 PM

"Yeah but what happens after they put the mark of the beast on everybody but you?"

Off topic

< Well First of all I dont believe in the "beast" thats just symoblism. If my fellow man(which I dont believe in the word "fellow"as I believe we are all one organism there is no "me" or "we" or "you" there is "man" not "us" or "we" as those words still refer to man as seperate entities as one, but we are all one consiousness that outta huge paralizing fear(such as a Huge natural disaster millions of years ago or something when human being adults had minds of 13 year olds equivalant today. human ego's and individuality were created out of fear(like insanity is created as a coping mechanism to sheild us from a reality we dont want to handle). I believe we are using only the 10 percent of our brains is because we are not connected as one no more, we are barriered by individuality and ego. Back to the point if I refuse to get a chip in my body in the future if in my time, ill die a martyr.

The word "government" litteraly means to control the mind, look it up. Its not hidden from you.

zeitgeist

10-22-2008, 11:45 PM

yeah i know how you feel most of the time. Except ive just gotten to the point that i dont want to deal with the majority of people anymore.
I have a ton of self confidence, but its just the people at this college seem so dumb or annoying. irony lol
Cant wait to go home and be with my real friends

and NoDrugsForMe, if you ever wanna talk hit me up on AIM. Username: zenkipowa

NoDrugs4Me

10-23-2008, 02:10 AM

You all make a lot of sense and I honestly believe my depression is self induced. I stay in my head quite often and am straying further and further from society. I can't say that it's a bad thing, as the people I encounter seem shady. It could very well be my environment or the fact that nothing is wrong, so I MAKE there be something wrong. Either way, something has gone haywire, so to say. Everything that is happening now is a direct effect of what I have done in the past. Lost opportunities and broken dreams are always with me, and tomorrow seems dark. I don't smoke as much as I used to. That may be the issue, or it can be why I never saw the problems before. I don't want to give up on my best friend, and I won't, but could the smoke really be to blame? It is possible I'm losing my mind...

zihowie

10-23-2008, 02:26 AM

I know exactly what you went through. It took a relationship gone wrong for me to realize what was wrong with my current outlook on life. I was constantly looking for happiness outside myself. I was looking for happiness through the comfort of friends or through relationships; yet everything disappointed me.

People disappointed me and I was convinced that people would always let you down. I would do things for people and go out of my way to be nice and I never felt appreciated. The same would hold true for my relationships. If I didn't get the response I was expecting from the other person involved I would become very depressed.. convinced that either I didn't fit in or that the world was a horrible miserable place.

Someone then told me the obvious. Do not have expectations. I didn't understand until 1-2 years later; but after much self reflection it totally made sense. My disappointment in people, the world and all my relationships had nothing to do with other people. My disappointment and unhappiness had to do with my expectations of what 'should be'.

When you expect someone to respond to you a certain way.. when you expect someone to understand your point of view, when you expect someone to love you back then you set yourself up for sadness. The only expectation you should ever have is of yourself. When you can find happiness in yourself and let go of your expectations of others then things become much easier.

When I do things for people now I do it out of genuinity and do not expect them to say thank you or seem appreciative. The fact that I wanted to do it is enough satisfaction for me. Knowing I was able to help this person is enough. When someone doesn't understand my point of view, and this one is a hard one but ultimatley, I let it go and accept that we are just different people and I try to learn more about people from the conflict/contrast. When I do not receive the response I'm hoping for from my significant other I don't mind, I let it go and accept that she may think differently or express her love, appreciation, comfort etc etc differently from me.. therefore what I perceive to be a lack of caring is within myself and not within the others.

All the unhappiness we feel in this world stems from ourselves. No one can MAKE you unhappy. Only you can make yourself unhappy but at the same time only YOU can make yourself happy/content.

Knowing this I have been able to let go of the attachment to reciprocation or expectations and focus on myself. I've realized *I* am a good person. I've realized *I* am pretty funny. I've realized *I* am attractive.. I've realized *I* genuinely care.. I've realized that I an intelligent and knowledgable.. and I've realized that no one else is me; therefore I shouldn't hold them up to my same standards or expect them to act as I would.

Since then I've found happiness in myself.. With this lack of attachment and happiness within myself I've also found happiness in life.

I am not sure if anything I said has made sense or if you can understand it. It took me a few years to grasp this concept but once I did I have never been happier.

Do not look elsewhere to be content just realize that nothing and no one will be like you and expecting someone or society to act as you do will only lead to sadness and disappointment; but if you let go of this then you can see things for what they really are.

Everything, everyone and every social group/society is different. If you happen to find someone similar to you then find joy in that you have a kindred spirit in life but also find joy in that everyone is different.

Let go of expectations.

ps: your anxiety and depression could be legit, but before you do something drastic I suggest you take a strong look at yourself and ask yourself if you feel the way you do because it's your outlook or if things are REALLY the way you perceive them.

ie: if you feel like everyone hates you then do they? Are they walking past you on a daily basis telling you you're worthless or do you just FEEL that they hate you?

I've noticed something since my change. People directly reflect back the mood and persona which you put out; however they can sense the difference between being genuine and not. Look inside yourself for the answers.

pss: I'm not high. I've actually been dead sober for almost 2 months now (wish i had some weed though.. lol)

Wow oh wow. A lot of times when ive read your post you seem to come down on some a little hard, but I know and can tell its all for the good. In this case you hit the nail on the head, not just for him, but me as well and I appreciate it immensely man!!

I understood and accepted this concept of expectations for awhile and that other people can be just down-right evil. I have a hard time accepting that and I myself am just a happy-go-lucky, sharing person I tend to be guillable. Not in any major factors but small things like a story of their life, something miniscule in the small run and something that later I find to be completely false.
I side-tracked for a minute, but what Im trying to say is I have had this outlook (the one you described of the concept, as well as the self-pity one) for a minute now and even though I knew what was wrong I havent changed. Ive heard it before, but it wasnt really applicable to me and when I read this where you cant expect others to make you happy or be on the same thought as you, it really hit home. thanks a bunch bro

beachguy in thongs

10-23-2008, 02:57 AM

Write down things that you want to do to enjoy yourself, tomorrow. If you have problems thinking of things, go into chatrooms and brainstorm.

A dog or a cat will make you want to eat them, but, only because they're so cute. You should get one. I'd go with the cat. I've heard that they can make your life longer.

rebgirl420

10-23-2008, 03:03 AM

Youve got some serious poor me syndrome. Unfortunately self pity is addictive. Sometimes feeling bad just feels so right, and no you dont have to be a masochist

People build up problems in their heads plenty too. Cultivate your zen like easy come easy go approach to the world and watch as everything becomes drastically easier

Exactly. You don't know how good you have it compared to a lot of other people.

Things could always be MUCH worse. Instead of complaining about your life why don't you go and try to make life better for someone who really is down shit creek without a paddle.

JohnnyZ

10-23-2008, 04:47 AM

Isn't it up shit's creek without a paddle? I guess it depends which way you want to travel on shit's creek. Where does shit's creek lead to anyways? I think it would be fitting if it led to poop hill or something else along the feces line.

rebgirl420

10-23-2008, 04:49 AM

I dunno, either way you look at it either way down shit creek is still rather shitty.

JohnnyZ

10-23-2008, 05:03 AM

Alright enough shit jokes, it's not helping this thread. Unless NoDrugs4Me really likes shit humour, in which case we'd be helping his depression..

flyingimam

10-23-2008, 06:53 AM

Anyone know what I'm talkin about? Is it just the "poor me" syndrome or could my anxiety and depression be legit?

:warm handshake:
Hi, my name is flyin"high"imam and I totally am in your situation. except that I dont read the bible, and dont grow stuff yet!

This is my social circle, right here! and I try to make the best out of it. I find making freinds, and I mean selected and appropriate friends, quite hard around here. i have been with the average and even wanksta AND gangsta crowd, none were satisfactory for me. so for now I'm quite lonely and love it far better than being with those i truly cant relate to.

hell, I'm even lonely in my own house despite living with family members, keepin it cool with them and my profile low.

One thing I do alot is to talk outloud and put my mind out as if im talking to an audience, it works for me to nullify that loneliness when im really bored and got nothin to do. may sound crazy or schizophrenic to others, but we all have our unique ways of dealing with different stuff in life that may be weird to others n i can care less.

Keep yourself busy with your occupation, whatever it is.
utilize internet and your other routine parts of life (GYM, music listening, library, parks, nature goin, etc) the best way u can to fill your time and believe me the amount of dopamine your brain will produce out of all these favorite activities will cancel out that loneliness and nostalgia that u may feel at times. thats just how i cope, u may find it in your bible or any other method. good luck and nice meetin some "lonely freak" like me-self!(yeah, public views us as sort of freaks when u tell them u got no friends)

:warm handshake::D

epilepticme

10-23-2008, 01:25 PM

Hey there NoDrugs4Me!

Granny (St0rmCrow) gave some advice the other day on how to meet someone to score weed from. I think that what she said was basically to go out and do stuff that cool headier people do.

What are your interetests mate?

I enjoy outdoor activities so I joined the local fish and game club. Where I have met some great friends. I am also interested in Spirituality, so I hang out in the spirituality section at borders... Get the point?

If you get out there and live life you will meet people.

There is also the possibility of therapy or counseling to help you get through these issues.

The bottom line is the only way to make a change is to make the change!

Peace and Light

daihashi

10-23-2008, 01:44 PM

Wow oh wow. A lot of times when ive read your post you seem to come down on some a little hard, but I know and can tell its all for the good. In this case you hit the nail on the head, not just for him, but me as well and I appreciate it immensely man!!

I always have good intentions and never wish ill on anyone. Plus my posts in the politics forum (probably where you see my harsh posts) are not who I am as a person; it is simply a way to express my passion for the direction I feel the country I live in should take. It in no way exemplifies me as a person and I think a number of people have my passion confused with who I am as a person. I'm glad you were able to discern the difference in this post.

I'm also glad that what I said resonated with you. It took me a while to learn this and it sounds like you've understood it as well. Sometimes it's good to hear someone echo what we already know. :)

I understood and accepted this concept of expectations for awhile and that other people can be just down-right evil. I have a hard time accepting that and I myself am just a happy-go-lucky, sharing person I tend to be guillable. Not in any major factors but small things like a story of their life, something miniscule in the small run and something that later I find to be completely false.
I side-tracked for a minute, but what Im trying to say is I have had this outlook (the one you described of the concept, as well as the self-pity one) for a minute now and even though I knew what was wrong I havent changed. Ive heard it before, but it wasnt really applicable to me and when I read this where you cant expect others to make you happy or be on the same thought as you, it really hit home. thanks a bunch bro

You have no idea how happy that makes me to know I was able to help someone else through my post. Even if it was for a brief moment.

Thank you for taking the time out to write this. It put a smile on my face :hippy:

bobthenuker

10-23-2008, 03:42 PM

I don't really get this post man...:wtf:...maybe I'm one of those people

Listen man, the worst thing you can do for yourself is feel sorry....stand up and be a man! Devote yourself to something, like mastering an instrument, or working out, or your grow-op. Point is always keep yourself busy, and make a plan to escape your current situation, never feel helpless but always like a big strong man! Now that's damn good advice.

I kinda get what you're talking about, my last two years of high school I just grew away from everyone, b/c as you said the ignorance my friend, plus my town's full of only guidos and emos....Anyway, I didn't go to any parties or the prom or hung out with anyone, but only stayed home and played guitar for hours by myself, constantly getting better and that gave me pride and confidence. It may very well be your environment, and screw society, be proud of YOUR accomplishments! And if you don't have any that create some. It's always better to be full of pride than sorrow. It's like my dad always said...when you feel down, stand up, rip off your shirt, and beat your damn chest!

Revanche21

10-23-2008, 03:47 PM

First, I would like to point out that studies have linked over-use of cannabis with depression and anxiety while small use actually helps depression

moving onto the comment about showing up to a party with weed
thats illegal, and they aren't your friends, they want your weed

I Personally have felt the same way before hit me up on AIM if you ever need to chat about stuff. I've been the same lately about staying at home I have tons of friends but I tend to stay at home because im becoming less social but idk lol just hit me up sometime:rastasmoke:

daihashi

10-23-2008, 03:49 PM

b/c as you said the ignorance my friend, plus my town's full of only guidos and emos....

I can't help but laugh at the irony in this statement.

bobthenuker

10-23-2008, 04:08 PM

I can't help but laugh at the irony in this statement.

:D

Mmmmm...yes I consider them to be the ignorant bunch...not so much myself...anything wrong with that?:jointsmile: I'm rather tolerant of others outlooks on life, and understanding...but when you grow up somewhere where everyone just cares about money, hair gel, rims on cars, and not reading, or school, or constantly acquiring knowledge...well than I do consider that to be ignorance...what gets to me is when I want to talk about something other than clubbing and cars...like history, or classical music, I get ridiculed for...THAT my friend is what I consider ignorance...Generalizations exist b/c they are generally true, nothing wrong with slapping on labels.

daihashi

10-23-2008, 04:27 PM

:D

Mmmmm...yes I consider them to be the ignorant bunch...not so much myself...anything wrong with that?:jointsmile: I'm rather tolerant of others outlooks on life, and understanding...but when you grow up somewhere where everyone just cares about money, hair gel, rims on cars, and not reading, or school, or constantly acquiring knowledge...well than I do consider that to be ignorance...what gets to me is when I want to talk about something other than clubbing and cars...like history, or classical music, I get ridiculed for...THAT my friend is what I consider ignorance...Generalizations exist b/c they are generally true, nothing wrong with slapping on labels.

Well there's nothing wrong with that except for your reason for calling them ignorant:

igÂ·noÂ·rant (gnr-nt)
adj.
1. Lacking education or knowledge.
2. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge: an ignorant mistake.
3. Unaware or uninformed.

By definition what you're describing is not ignorance but rather they have a different preference in what they would like to do. Labeling people and categorizing them without getting to truly know them on a deeper level is ignorance. The reason why that would be ignorance is because you have a lack of real information on them. All you know of them is what you see on the surface.

Who's to say they are not gaining knowledge outside of the subjects you find interesting? You don't know that for a fact. I'm sure there is a lot you could learn from these people. Is there anything wrong with preferring to know about Automotives rather than philosophy?

However if you don't want to associate with these people because you enjoy different things then that's your perogative, but to call them ignorant because of that is.. well... ignorant and sort've prejudice :hippy:

Looking down on people is also arrogant; which it sounds like you're doing, but maybe you're not and maybe you just chose poor wording.

You are allowed to do whatever you want for whatever reasons you wish but I believe you are using the wrong wording and you could be otherwise confusing people who are battling with a similar situation and have them make the same decision for the wrong reasons because of it.

But to each his own. I'm going to have a few beers with my emo and guido friends later tonight and just enjoy them for who they are and not what they have to offer;

And another word for generalization is stereotype; which is not always true and often times not even true majority of the time. You can either use a stereotype for humor and have fun with it.. helping you bond with other people or you can use it as a reason to create a divider between people.

I hope you find someone who's company suits you soon. Really it's all what we perceive to be; truth be told you can typically enjoy most people's company if you just let go of your expectations.

daihashi

10-23-2008, 04:31 PM

And if you get ridiculed for wanting to talk about something.. maybe they are just joking with you. I grew up in a very 'ghetto' area. I was always an intellectual and my friends would 'ridicule' me for talking about things like physics, astronomy, calculus, politics... but I would press on and they would listen and eventually start asking me questions wanting to know more.

Put forth more effort instead of turning around and passing judgement when things don't go your way in regards to interacting with people in real life.

apocolips31

10-23-2008, 05:23 PM

daihashi

10-23-2008, 05:35 PM

Daihashi, I don't want you to think I am insulting you by anything I am about to say, I have the utmost respect for you and your ideas. I have always enjoyed reading yours posts and have found them to be useful more than once. It seems you can get to know someone better by reading their posts on a cannabis forum then knowing them in person. So when I say I think you think you know too much don't take it as a attack. It is just that you even said it your self that what works for someone doesn't work for everyone. The same is true about your outlook on life. Maybe some people just won't be happy that way. Who knows? Maybe there are some people who think I am right and some who think I am wrong, but isn't that how everything has always been? Also, you don't know if the people he was talking about actually know him on a close basis. Maybe he really knows if they are ignorant. I don't know. Maybe I am just too high and don't know what I am saying. :jointsmile:

There's a difference between trying to hold a discussion for his reasoning and how it seems to contradict what he says and trying to force my belief on someone.

Re-read what I said, Here's a specific excerpt You are allowed to do whatever you want for whatever reasons you wish but I believe you are using the wrong wording . Also there was a way to make your point without insinuating that I'm talking down to him; I was merely trying to have an open discussion and expain my perception of ignorance and the actual definition vs what he is saying. :hippy:

And for the record, if I like working on cars and you like cooking.. Just because I don't talk about cooking or make a jab at you for talking about it would mean I'm ignorant as a person. It would mean I may be ignorant on a subject.. the same would hold true vice versa. With that said there could be much more I have to offer if you would just let me by letting go of what you expect of me.

The guy said himself that he grew away from everyone. Isolationism is not healthy either and I wanted to know more of why he felt that way. In his reply he seemed more bitter than truthful but that could be my perception or a poor choice of wording on his part.

Shrug but to each their own.

bobthenuker

10-23-2008, 09:23 PM

Well there's nothing wrong with that except for your reason for calling them ignorant:

igÂ·noÂ·rant (gnr-nt)
adj.
1. Lacking education or knowledge.
2. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge: an ignorant mistake.
3. Unaware or uninformed.

By definition what you're describing is not ignorance but rather they have a different preference in what they would like to do. Labeling people and categorizing them without getting to truly know them on a deeper level is ignorance. The reason why that would be ignorance is because you have a lack of real information on them. All you know of them is what you see on the surface.

Who's to say they are not gaining knowledge outside of the subjects you find interesting? You don't know that for a fact. I'm sure there is a lot you could learn from these people. Is there anything wrong with preferring to know about Automotives rather than philosophy?

However if you don't want to associate with these people because you enjoy different things then that's your perogative, but to call them ignorant because of that is.. well... ignorant and sort've prejudice :hippy:

Looking down on people is also arrogant; which it sounds like you're doing, but maybe you're not and maybe you just chose poor wording.

You are allowed to do whatever you want for whatever reasons you wish but I believe you are using the wrong wording and you could be otherwise confusing people who are battling with a similar situation and have them make the same decision for the wrong reasons because of it.

But to each his own. I'm going to have a few beers with my emo and guido friends later tonight and just enjoy them for who they are and not what they have to offer;

And another word for generalization is stereotype; which is not always true and often times not even true majority of the time. You can either use a stereotype for humor and have fun with it.. helping you bond with other people or you can use it as a reason to create a divider between people.

I hope you find someone who's company suits you soon. Really it's all what we perceive to be; truth be told you can typically enjoy most people's company if you just let go of your expectations.

I see ignorance along those same lines...someone who doesn't wish to constantly learn and acquire new knowledge. And you're mistaken, I know most of these people quite well, passed the surface, because I've know a few of them since an early age, my perception of them is quite justified...but enough about me.

Arrogance, self-pride, looking down on others...they can be effective tools to better yourself, to become strong....if in moderation of course. You would agree that in life there must be a balance of things. If someone does provide you with good company, then you must see him as a friend and an equal. Yet if someone mocks you for learning, mocks your music, or your life, even if they do not mean it with all their heart...what is the point of putting forth effort to befriend them...if they do not. Why try to please someone to become your friend?

Rather, if they are like this, it is alright I believe to look down at them. For we are not all equal, is the poor man who betters his situation not better than the poor man who doesn't. Likewise, is the man who constantly seeks knowledge not better than he who is ignorant. Is not coveting silly things such as clubbing and car rims, so dead set on your ways, and mocking those that do put forth effort to read and learn not ignorance?? I don't wish to go round and round, because you have a point of view, as do I, so I'll just say to the original poster:

The best remedy for you is empowerment. Don't go beckoning people to be your friends if they don't value you, you will find people that eventually will. Your feeling of weakness can be fixed, if someone antagonizes you look down upon them as just a fool, and rise above them. As naive as it sounds believe you're better. Have pride, strive to achieve something. Whatever gives you this feeling of weakness and depression cut it out from your life, for it's dragging you down. It is better to feel strong and have self-pride, than feel sorry for yourself. Associate yourself only with people you enjoy, if you don't like them or have a bad feeling about them, don't waste your time. And if you can't find a friend currently than be alone, but find something to dedicate your life to. Learn to enjoy being alone.

daihashi

10-23-2008, 11:49 PM

I see ignorance along those same lines...someone who doesn't wish to constantly learn and acquire new knowledge. And you're mistaken, I know most of these people quite well, passed the surface, because I've know a few of them since an early age, my perception of them is quite justified...but enough about me.

Arrogance, self-pride, looking down on others...they can be effective tools to better yourself, to become strong....if in moderation of course. You would agree that in life there must be a balance of things. If someone does provide you with good company, then you must see him as a friend and an equal. Yet if someone mocks you for learning, mocks your music, or your life, even if they do not mean it with all their heart...what is the point of putting forth effort to befriend them...if they do not. Why try to please someone to become your friend?

Rather, if they are like this, it is alright I believe to look down at them. For we are not all equal, is the poor man who betters his situation not better than the poor man who doesn't. Likewise, is the man who constantly seeks knowledge not better than he who is ignorant. Is not coveting silly things such as clubbing and car rims, so dead set on your ways, and mocking those that do put forth effort to read and learn not ignorance?? I don't wish to go round and round, because you have a point of view, as do I, so I'll just say to the original poster:

The best remedy for you is empowerment. Don't go beckoning people to be your friends if they don't value you, you will find people that eventually will. Your feeling of weakness can be fixed, if someone antagonizes you look down upon them as just a fool, and rise above them. As naive as it sounds believe you're better. Have pride, strive to achieve something. Whatever gives you this feeling of weakness and depression cut it out from your life, for it's dragging you down. It is better to feel strong and have self-pride, than feel sorry for yourself. Associate yourself only with people you enjoy, if you don't like them or have a bad feeling about them, don't waste your time. And if you can't find a friend currently than be alone, but find something to dedicate your life to. Learn to enjoy being alone.

I see.. thanks for clarification ;)

Reefer Rogue

10-24-2008, 06:13 AM

Hang with some Rastas or go try and meet girls, give it a go, why not.

thcbongman

10-24-2008, 10:43 PM

I couldn't rep you but DaiHashi, thank you for your post. It really got to me deeply yesterday.

daihashi

10-24-2008, 10:44 PM

I couldn't rep you but DaiHashi, thank you for your post. It really got to me deeply yesterday.

I gave you some rep instead :D... :thumbsup:

thcbongman

10-24-2008, 11:13 PM

Thank you, you are too kind. It couldn't come at a better time, I got out of a long-term relationship a month ago, then my father passed away more than a week ago so you could imagine how twisted I am emotionally right now, it's sadness/anger/fear all swirled together. But your words has restored strength in myself to start to feel happiness again because I been relying too much on other people for my happiness.

NextLineIsMine

10-25-2008, 08:46 AM

damn hang in there THCbongman, in your twisted emotional state you still seem to be one of the most well adjusted people on this site of loons:thumbsup:

Silent Wolf

10-25-2008, 09:33 AM

Acouwaila

10-30-2008, 08:38 PM

the first step is to realize you are going to die someday. the second step is knowing this world is yours as much as anyone else'. The third step is to use the intelligence I know you've got, because I believe you've got insight that not everyones got, that may be the cause of your depression or lack of motivation. sometimes we take our realizations and apply them in a negative way....

Man lemme tell you, I suck with people...but once you understand you can use your mind to learn anything you want, and even practice...and then use your mind to control your body to work for something (usually helping others is a good way to feel good about urself) then you will b free my friend.....

The best advice I could give you, would be to try to help others in any way you can think of....also praying works man...send the vibrations...everything exists as one...praying works

NoDrugs4Me

11-13-2008, 10:57 PM

I've been neglecting my own thread, and I apologize. All of you have spoken honest and kind words. After reading this, I've stepped back and thought about life on a slightly deeper level.

My nephrologist told me yesterday that I only have 50% kidney function left.... been sick since I was 5 and I've been waiting for this day to come. I can't tell you the problem I had because only a couple hundred people have had it and it would narrow out my identity (paranoia kicking in). Yesterday was very dismal.

I literally took a chill pill today (prescribed) and have laid off the herb except for on weekends, and between classes today I listened to the "release therapy" cd by Ludacris. Paraphrasing a lyric: I grew up a f*ckin screw up, got introduced to real life, and then I grew up.

In other words... my mind is how I make it. If I can be cheerful after hearing I need a kidney biopsy and may have to start dialysis... I'm not gonna let SH*T bother me! I've got to learn to trust people more in everyday situations and realize they AREN'T out to use me... and if they are... I'll deal with that when/if it happens.

On a side note, I'll have my associates degree in Business Admin/Marketing (2 seperate degrees) in May and should be done with my three Bachelor's degrees (Bus. Admin, Bus. Marketing, Accounting, and a minor in Economics) in a year and a half!!! :jointsmile:

All health problems aside, I believe things are on the up and up. After all... it's how you see the world that influences how the world sees you, right?

You guys/gals are great! Thank you so much for trying to help me out, and you really have. If you ever need anything, please ask!

:jointsmile:

Barney Trouble

11-14-2008, 12:31 AM

Exactly. You don't know how good you have it compared to a lot of other people.

Things could always be MUCH worse. Instead of complaining about your life why don't you go and try to make life better for someone who really is down shit creek without a paddle.

Don't just pass it off as "poor me" and pretend he's perfectly fine.

Sounds to me like you are just very depressed and if you have been feeling this way for a while it would be wise to see someone. Take it from me, waiting it out is not the way to go as it will only worsen your symptoms. I was diagnosed with depression, OCD and im most likely bipolar. Weed for me helps me to get out of my frequent shitty moods but that will only help for a little while.

Get help, the world sucks but what can you do except try and live as happy as you can. Everything else is just daily bs.

overgrowthegovt

11-14-2008, 02:29 AM

I can identify, to a degree.

I do have friendships, but most of them are fairly shallow because I seem to operate on a deeper level than most of the other parties....I feel depressed on a regular basis, I'm a virgin and it's been over a year since I've made out with anybody, etc. The last point is pretty fucked up because, now I warn you this is going to sound arrogant but I don't mean it as such, I'm often hailed as one of the best-looking guys around, and I have a lot of wit and charm that helps me make friends or at least acquiantances fairly easily...but for some reason it just hasn't been flying with women for the past year.

To everyone who just tells this guy to shut up and get over it, that doesn't help. I've told myself that thousands of times--nothing will work until he gets some deeper human contact or laid or whatever. I've personally been writing poetry for a few years now, to maintain my precarious sanity. Finding some outlet will help you find life bearable, if still unpleasant.

THClord

11-17-2008, 06:39 AM

I can't say I can identify with you completely, but I had a stage where I became disillusioned in a lot of my friends. All they wanted was to climb social ladders, and wouldn't give a shit for you after you had no "use". Meanwhile I grew distant from my friends who were genuine. I had no luck with the ladies. And I started to always think about my outlook.

I decided to tackle the issue with ladies. All I really needed was to loose my braces, get some new clothes and some self-confidence. As my confidence grew I got better and better, and now I have no problem at all.

Since then I hang out with different friends, who are much better friends.

I was also one you would call a 'deeper' person. But I learned to live in the moment. Living in the moment is much much more rewarding. It's the way to get girls, makes you a fun person, and is fun in it's self. Even if you're a deep person, you should still be able to have fun at parties and really anywhere. Just try to not further your outlook, but pursue what really interests you. Don't be ashamed if you find something amusing noone else notices. The smile on your face noone gets is often the smile that will get you the most attention.

KindMidasSoundman

11-19-2008, 09:14 AM

I know exactly what you went through. It took a relationship gone wrong for me to realize what was wrong with my current outlook on life. I was constantly looking for happiness outside myself. I was looking for happiness through the comfort of friends or through relationships; yet everything disappointed me.

People disappointed me and I was convinced that people would always let you down. I would do things for people and go out of my way to be nice and I never felt appreciated. The same would hold true for my relationships. If I didn't get the response I was expecting from the other person involved I would become very depressed.. convinced that either I didn't fit in or that the world was a horrible miserable place.

Someone then told me the obvious. Do not have expectations. I didn't understand until 1-2 years later; but after much self reflection it totally made sense. My disappointment in people, the world and all my relationships had nothing to do with other people. My disappointment and unhappiness had to do with my expectations of what 'should be'.

When you expect someone to respond to you a certain way.. when you expect someone to understand your point of view, when you expect someone to love you back then you set yourself up for sadness. The only expectation you should ever have is of yourself. When you can find happiness in yourself and let go of your expectations of others then things become much easier.

When I do things for people now I do it out of genuinity and do not expect them to say thank you or seem appreciative. The fact that I wanted to do it is enough satisfaction for me. Knowing I was able to help this person is enough. When someone doesn't understand my point of view, and this one is a hard one but ultimatley, I let it go and accept that we are just different people and I try to learn more about people from the conflict/contrast. When I do not receive the response I'm hoping for from my significant other I don't mind, I let it go and accept that she may think differently or express her love, appreciation, comfort etc etc differently from me.. therefore what I perceive to be a lack of caring is within myself and not within the others.

All the unhappiness we feel in this world stems from ourselves. No one can MAKE you unhappy. Only you can make yourself unhappy but at the same time only YOU can make yourself happy/content.

Knowing this I have been able to let go of the attachment to reciprocation or expectations and focus on myself. I've realized *I* am a good person. I've realized *I* am pretty funny. I've realized *I* am attractive.. I've realized *I* genuinely care.. I've realized that I an intelligent and knowledgable.. and I've realized that no one else is me; therefore I shouldn't hold them up to my same standards or expect them to act as I would.

Since then I've found happiness in myself.. With this lack of attachment and happiness within myself I've also found happiness in life.

I am not sure if anything I said has made sense or if you can understand it. It took me a few years to grasp this concept but once I did I have never been happier.

Do not look elsewhere to be content just realize that nothing and no one will be like you and expecting someone or society to act as you do will only lead to sadness and disappointment; but if you let go of this then you can see things for what they really are.

Everything, everyone and every social group/society is different. If you happen to find someone similar to you then find joy in that you have a kindred spirit in life but also find joy in that everyone is different.

Let go of expectations.

ps: your anxiety and depression could be legit, but before you do something drastic I suggest you take a strong look at yourself and ask yourself if you feel the way you do because it's your outlook or if things are REALLY the way you perceive them.

ie: if you feel like everyone hates you then do they? Are they walking past you on a daily basis telling you you're worthless or do you just FEEL that they hate you?

I've noticed something since my change. People directly reflect back the mood and persona which you put out; however they can sense the difference between being genuine and not. Look inside yourself for the answers.

pss: I'm not high. I've actually been dead sober for almost 2 months now (wish i had some weed though.. lol)

:clap::clap::clap: :postgood: :clap::clap::clap:

Thank you so much. I think we all need to keep this theory in perspective, Myself especially.

Again, thank you
:thumbsup::jointsmile::thumbsup:

Perp

11-20-2008, 04:52 PM

As someone who can't help but make friends, I have to say that it's not all that it's cracked up to be. Most of the time they are friends when they want something off of you but not the other way around. Get yourself one or two close buddies and that's all you need.

Having said that, look to you own social class. If you are the geek then befriend the other geek. If you are a metalhead, then hang with other metalheads. It's not rocket science. If you are in between cliques, like rocker/nerd/jock then don't show any interest in either group and start your own caste. Look disinterested and don't be too eager to be everyone's friend right away. People will gravitate towards you and start up conversations. Especially girls.

Good Luck..:thumbsup:

jdez87

11-20-2008, 11:05 PM

do you have any hobbies? maybe take up a sport, like golf, tennis, raquetball, it sounds like you need to release some stuff, when I need a release i just run. Some thing about concentrating on my breathing allows me to just focus on that and only that, and when I'm done my clear head puts alot into perspective.

thefrenchman

11-23-2008, 08:57 AM

I was also one you would call a 'deeper' person. But I learned to live in the moment. Living in the moment is much much more rewarding. It's the way to get girls, makes you a fun person, and is fun in it's self. Even if you're a deep person, you should still be able to have fun at parties and really anywhere. Just try to not further your outlook, but pursue what really interests you. Don't be ashamed if you find something amusing noone else notices. The smile on your face noone gets is often the smile that will get you the most attention.

Replace 'deeper' by "of different interests" in your case. There's no reason you cant be a different person when your in public and when your alone.
If you try to enjoy the simple act of being around people and having a good time, what ever your personal interests may be, you'll probably find yourself having a good time.

NoDrugs4Me

02-25-2009, 04:00 AM

"Having said that, look to you own social class. If you are the geek then befriend the other geek. If you are a metalhead, then hang with other metalheads. It's not rocket science. If you are in between cliques, like rocker/nerd/jock then don't show any interest in either group and start your own caste. Look disinterested and don't be too eager to be everyone's friend right away. People will gravitate towards you and start up conversations. Especially girls."

F*CK it's been a roller coaster!

You hit the nail on the head, man. I've been trying this since late last semester, but it has yet to work. I have a girlfriend, one other person I talk to, and the people on this board who probably don't know me from Adam's house cat... so the saying goes.

What is it about not having ANYONE to confide in, no one that you can have a hearty conversation with... someone that EXCITES you, your brain, EVERYTHING that does you in?

I don't let myself have friends. I am an asshole. Kind of a self realization going on now, so please don't flame. I regret to inform that I AM judgmental, but feel justified due to things beyond my control. I can't "buddy up" with a person that NEVER tries to do assignments for COLLEGE. I can't befriend somebody that only wants me to help them... it seems as-if I let my only TRUE friend go, but that's a novel in-and-of itself. She is happy; I am happy for her.

I can't get it out of my head, though. The ONE person that I could tell ANYTHING to, the ONE person I took 20 hour road trips with, the ONE person that I trusted to drive 5 hours to Nashville after eating 6 grams of GRADE A hash.... is gone from my life.

She did nothing wrong. It was I that was the problem...

Now I feel stuck in a relationship because of all we have been through, yet cannot have a conversation about ANYTHING except dinner!! I'm enraged with myself for allowing myself to be like this!!!! Be sure to read my new book, "Fear and Self-Loathing in Las Vegas." Ha... I wish I could sell a book.

Tried the whole "you create your own reality" business. It got shut down.

Seriously though... is there any way we may be able to have a deep conversation where I might be able to get ALL of EVERYTHING off my chest and not be committed?