still lonesome...

[NoDrugs4Me]

Can't make any friends... of course I haven't really tried because no one I run into has any of the same interests... tired of it.

Don't want to deal with socialites... don't feel like dealing with general ignorance, which even I suffer from, but I can't get over it....

Been reading my Bible more often, but it's still SO hard to be by yourself 24/7... even when around others. My mind is always racing and nothing seems to add up.

After three years of reading this site, I still find myself making stupid mistakes (look under indoor growing for semi-right setup)....

To be 23... I have a horrible outlook on life. You guys are the only ones I have to talk to, and I haven't been talking much on here.

Anyone know what I'm talkin about? Is it just the "poor me" syndrome or could my anxiety and depression be legit?

NoDrugs4Me Reviewed by NoDrugs4Me on 10-21-2008. still lonesome... Can't make any friends... of course I haven't really tried because no one I run into has any of the same interests... tired of it. Don't want to deal with socialites... don't feel like dealing with general ignorance, which even I suffer from, but I can't get over it.... Been reading my Bible more often, but it's still SO hard to be by yourself 24/7... even when around others. My mind is always racing and nothing seems to add up. After three years of reading this site, I still find Rating: 5

[killerweed420]

Show up at a party with weed and you'll have more friends than you'll want to deal with.:jointsmile:

[daihashi]

Can't make any friends... of course I haven't really tried because no one I run into has any of the same interests... tired of it.

Don't want to deal with socialites... don't feel like dealing with general ignorance, which even I suffer from, but I can't get over it....

Been reading my Bible more often, but it's still SO hard to be by yourself 24/7... even when around others. My mind is always racing and nothing seems to add up.

After three years of reading this site, I still find myself making stupid mistakes (look under indoor growing for semi-right setup)....

To be 23... I have a horrible outlook on life. You guys are the only ones I have to talk to, and I haven't been talking much on here.

Anyone know what I'm talkin about? Is it just the "poor me" syndrome or could my anxiety and depression be legit?

I know exactly what you went through. It took a relationship gone wrong for me to realize what was wrong with my current outlook on life. I was constantly looking for happiness outside myself. I was looking for happiness through the comfort of friends or through relationships; yet everything disappointed me.

People disappointed me and I was convinced that people would always let you down. I would do things for people and go out of my way to be nice and I never felt appreciated. The same would hold true for my relationships. If I didn't get the response I was expecting from the other person involved I would become very depressed.. convinced that either I didn't fit in or that the world was a horrible miserable place.

Someone then told me the obvious. Do not have expectations. I didn't understand until 1-2 years later; but after much self reflection it totally made sense. My disappointment in people, the world and all my relationships had nothing to do with other people. My disappointment and unhappiness had to do with my expectations of what 'should be'.

When you expect someone to respond to you a certain way.. when you expect someone to understand your point of view, when you expect someone to love you back then you set yourself up for sadness. The only expectation you should ever have is of yourself. When you can find happiness in yourself and let go of your expectations of others then things become much easier.

When I do things for people now I do it out of genuinity and do not expect them to say thank you or seem appreciative. The fact that I wanted to do it is enough satisfaction for me. Knowing I was able to help this person is enough. When someone doesn't understand my point of view, and this one is a hard one but ultimatley, I let it go and accept that we are just different people and I try to learn more about people from the conflict/contrast. When I do not receive the response I'm hoping for from my significant other I don't mind, I let it go and accept that she may think differently or express her love, appreciation, comfort etc etc differently from me.. therefore what I perceive to be a lack of caring is within myself and not within the others.

All the unhappiness we feel in this world stems from ourselves. No one can MAKE you unhappy. Only you can make yourself unhappy but at the same time only YOU can make yourself happy/content.

Knowing this I have been able to let go of the attachment to reciprocation or expectations and focus on myself. I've realized *I* am a good person. I've realized *I* am pretty funny. I've realized *I* am attractive.. I've realized *I* genuinely care.. I've realized that I an intelligent and knowledgable.. and I've realized that no one else is me; therefore I shouldn't hold them up to my same standards or expect them to act as I would.

Since then I've found happiness in myself.. With this lack of attachment and happiness within myself I've also found happiness in life.

I am not sure if anything I said has made sense or if you can understand it. It took me a few years to grasp this concept but once I did I have never been happier.

Do not look elsewhere to be content just realize that nothing and no one will be like you and expecting someone or society to act as you do will only lead to sadness and disappointment; but if you let go of this then you can see things for what they really are.

Everything, everyone and every social group/society is different. If you happen to find someone similar to you then find joy in that you have a kindred spirit in life but also find joy in that everyone is different.

Let go of expectations.


ps: your anxiety and depression could be legit, but before you do something drastic I suggest you take a strong look at yourself and ask yourself if you feel the way you do because it's your outlook or if things are REALLY the way you perceive them.

ie: if you feel like everyone hates you then do they? Are they walking past you on a daily basis telling you you're worthless or do you just FEEL that they hate you?

I've noticed something since my change. People directly reflect back the mood and persona which you put out; however they can sense the difference between being genuine and not. Look inside yourself for the answers.

pss: I'm not high. I've actually been dead sober for almost 2 months now (wish i had some weed though.. lol)

[NextLineIsMine]

Youve got some serious poor me syndrome. Unfortunately self pity is addictive. Sometimes feeling bad just feels so right, and no you dont have to be a masochist

People build up problems in their heads plenty too. Cultivate your zen like easy come easy go approach to the world and watch as everything becomes drastically easier

[JohnnyZ]

You smoke weed and you're depressed? You sir are an anomaly to modern science.

On the real though man, cheer the F up. Look at yourself; you're young, handsome presumably, and honest. You have so much to look forward to. Just imagine yourself 10 years from now. You could have a family and a steady job somewhere with really nice health benefits, but no massage therapy coverage which kind of leaves a little thorn in your side, and your wife is expecting.

But none of that will happen if you don't get off your lazy ass and do something with you life. No excuses. Go to self confidence courses if you need to, or some Tony Robbins thing if that's your steez.

Seriously man, you probably have no real problems so you have to create yourself some issues. Maybe you need some good sativa bud, get your mind right. You're straight trippin boo.

Wanna hug it out?

[Trip06]

How about people start living defferently, Check out this website Zeitgeist - The Movie After I watched the videos I stumbled apon it changed me. I would hope out of all places cannabis users would understand what Im getting at. Maybe im a little late with this "enlightenment" but better late then never.

[Trip06]

I could never go wrong not having a Job ever again, Looking into a NONprofit organizations, Growing and Hunting My Own food, Not driving gasoline powered veheicles. Never watching TV again, Using solar powered shit. No I couldnt, it would be probuly the purest most Right life possible.

[killerweed420]

Yeah but what happens after they put the mark of the beast on everybody but you?:jointsmile:

[dlovejah]

Hello there.. I can feel you hurting... My friend I think your suffering from depression with a big dose of anxiety that stays with it... Believe it or not,,with certain forms of depression and anxiety, the worse thing you can do is smoke marijuana.. I believe wholeheartedly in medical marijuana and am for the legalization of ganja, and am a smoker. This does not mean that the herb will cure all ailments.:rastasmoke: Intelligent people often feel like you do,, Its a symptom of knowing a little too much, seeing a little more than most... Bless and take care...d:hippy:

[Trip06]

"Yeah but what happens after they put the mark of the beast on everybody but you?"

Off topic

< Well First of all I dont believe in the "beast" thats just symoblism. If my fellow man(which I dont believe in the word "fellow"as I believe we are all one organism there is no "me" or "we" or "you" there is "man" not "us" or "we" as those words still refer to man as seperate entities as one, but we are all one consiousness that outta huge paralizing fear(such as a Huge natural disaster millions of years ago or something when human being adults had minds of 13 year olds equivalant today. human ego's and individuality were created out of fear(like insanity is created as a coping mechanism to sheild us from a reality we dont want to handle). I believe we are using only the 10 percent of our brains is because we are not connected as one no more, we are barriered by individuality and ego. Back to the point if I refuse to get a chip in my body in the future if in my time, ill die a martyr.

The word "government" litteraly means to control the mind, look it up. Its not hidden from you.