what a load of bull

[GHoSToKeR]

A Warning From St Mary's Catholic Church

"If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:


-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social
genres of music (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.


If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church"

[kyle]

im everything but homo, even got nail polish,love manson,led zepplin,doors t shirts, umm i dont beleive in christianity fisrt and foremost and i could go on and on but i wont, btw i got a buncha punk bracelets and yeah

[gothicblood]

thats so funny but a load of bullshit lol. :rolleyes:

[Jimmicrackedcorn]

So let me get this str8 man, when my kid IS suicidal theres something wrong??!!
God Bless you St. Mary's

[Climbing High]

i really hope that was a joke, if it wasn't...
this world is FUCKED UP

[Syrus]

"Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism."


HA HA HA HA buddhism, thast clasic.

Anyway, i fall into a large amount of those categorie, and im dam proud of it!!!

[GHoSToKeR]

im proud of it too..

lmao @ saying philosophy and science are dangerous lol

[F L E S H]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. According to this list, every single normal teenager in the entire world is a goth and needs to be brainwashed... LOL

[whaddaphuck]

thats some funny shit! :D

[sToNeDpEnGuIn420]

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

wow the pain is a way to detract from the light of god and his love, more like to let out the pain dumbasses! lol sry that mad me laugh

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

wow wtf? ghost did u add this urself? cuz WOW!

[maryjanemama]

Saint Mary's Catholic Church?!! Was it signed by Sister Patricia Marie? Otherwise known by all third graders as "Torpedo Tits"? No...there's probably a St. Mary's in every town...filled with the real ppl we should all beware.

[Ammie]

lmfao!!! thats just funny:D:D some people are so anal!!

[Gothen]

I'm 100% with you guys on this, and F L E S H nailed it right on the money, for what I was thinking.

Every.single.teen in the world does that stuff, save for some female ones, and those who have "risen above the desire to pleasure one's self" as some of the Christian people at school say. Of course, I can guarantee that they're lying.

[ermitonto]

My mother's family is Irish Catholic, and my father's is Protestant (his mother is a minister actually), but my parents never raised me very religiously, so my siblings and I are pretty non-religious with both me and my brother being atheists. According to these people, I guess we must have "strayed from the Lord" what with all our evil Satanic practices like smoking marijuana, not going to church, and tolerating other people's beliefs.

The following apply to me:
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
I associate with people from Poland, Pakistan, Korea, etc. They don't conform 100% to the dress style, customs and speech of ordinary Americans, so I guess I'm a Satanist.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
My interest not really declining; I've never been interested in any of these things in the first place. Different people are interested in different things. Some people are religious, some people are athletic, I'm not. Why do people have a problem with that?

-Takes drugs.
I smoke weed every day, and *gasp* I'm not an immoral, anti-social psychopath.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
I have felt depression in the past. It's a common problem among teenagers and should not be dismissed simply as a symptom of Satanism. Calling it such is dangerous; get proper psychological help or aid your child with whatever is *really* making them unhappy. I tried this new fad called dealing with my problems and guess what, I am now pretty content with my life.

-Complains of boredom.
Sometimes you get bored; that's life and it's perfectly normal. Especially when you live with ultra-religious parents like the people who must write this crap.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
We college students are the segment of the population that gets the littlest sleep. You try sleeping 8 hours every night with all the work we have to get done, and fit in a little free time every day so you don't explode with frustration. It can't be done.

-Is excessively awake during the night.
See above.

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
I'm an introvert, and live a very independent lifestyle. I'm proud of that. I cherish my privacy and believe it is a fundamental human right. Whose to say what's an "unusual" amount of privacy? People who join ultra-religious moralist holier-than-thou organizations as an emotional crutch probably have a pretty warped perspective on this.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.
See above.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
No, this is so that I can think, get my work done, take naps, jerk off, smoke weed and other harmless activities.

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
This is so utterly ridiculous that it makes me want to vomit. If your kids can't learn to deal with other people without parental supervision, they're going to have a tough time getting along in the real world when they move out. And if you're going to insist that adults supervise whatever your child is doing with his friends at all time, that's an unexcusable invasion of privacy. Children, just like adults, sometimes need time alone with others for whatever reason. Again, this is normal social behavior.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
I absolutely detest the government of our country. That is a political belief that I am entitled to hold, according to our Constitution (which was written by much saner individuals than those in power today). I respect and always have respected my teachers in their efforts to expand my knowledge but some of them, like people in any other profession, are assholes and not worthy of respect. I don't see why priests and nuns should have any more authority over me than any other member of society, especially as I do not happen to belong to their religion.

-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
As a child I occasionally misbehaved. If you can find a child that has never misbehaved, I'll tell you that child must just be really good at covering up his misbehavior. It's normal for kids to misbehave, but as parents you just have to teach them why such things are wrong and like me they'll develop the abilities to control their own behavior.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
Okay, this one doesn't apply to me since I've never had Count Chocula (not Dracula) cereal but this really made me laugh. It's a kids' cereal, and it's chocolatey, so you can bet kids are going to eat it. It's not like they have the choice of more wholesome Jesus-O's in the cereal aisle.

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
Hahaha! Well, I don't happen to think that a church is the best place to go for advice on what to watch. In any case, the best works of our society have been created by seriously disturbed/"corrupted" individuals, from Edgar Allan Poe up to South Park. The best shows on TV are those that begin with "Viewer discretion is advised." The church will me against watching graphic sex and violence and they'll tell me to read the Bible instead, which as we all know is completely absent of any references to sex and has completely non-violent storylines.

-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
I'm an avid GTA fan (bought San Andreas within minutes of its release), and I'm not going to walk out on the streets gunning down cops and stealing cars. I play it for entertainment, and it's entertaining because I can do things in it that I could never think of doing in real life. It would be excruciatingly boring otherwise.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
The Internet contains a vast wealth of information and is incredibly useful. I use it to talk with my friendly, to help write an
encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org), and of course just for fun (boy these people sure do seem to hate fun).

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
Oh, come on. Some songs you just can't help to shake your head to. Just because you don't like rock music doesn't mean that people who like to rock out are bad.

-Expresses an interest in sex.
What am I supposed to do, cut my balls off? When I was born, I was predestined to develop an interest in sex. It's completely and utterly normal. People have hormones in their bodies, which cause them to become interested in sex and thus ensure that the species doesn't go extinct.

-Masturbates
Again, what am I supposed to do, cut my balls off? Every man produces semen and it's going to get out some way or another, and frankly I don't like the thought of getting up in the morning to sticky bedsheets. Plus it's fun and doesn't hurt anybody (not even me).

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
As Matt Stone (one of the creators of South Park) put it, "we're all a little gay". While I consider myself heterosexual because the vast majority of my sexual feelings are focused on females, I'm not ashamed to admit that I have had homoerotic thoughts in the past.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
I'm an atheist, which means that my world outlook is not based on these people's organization (how convenient it must be for them that the only people who are not completely morally corrupt are members of it), but on philosophy. Philosophy is a valid field of thought and to deny all the enlightening contributions of the world's great philosophers (many of whom were die-hard Christians mind you) would be horrible. Also my philosophy has been partially influenced by Daoism, which like philosophy really isn't a religion and most certainly isn't a cult.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
The vast majority of the population would fulfill at least five of these categories, especially considering that most of the world is not Christian. This is not a "problem" and requires no intervention. Anybody who thinks otherwise likely has real emotional and social problems and probably does need somebody to intervene immediately.

[ermitonto]

A few corrections...

My interest not really declining
...IS not really declining...


The church will me against watching graphic sex
...will ADVISE me...


I use it to talk with my friendly
I was thinking "friends" and "family" at the same time and it came out like that. Weird.

[ismokedope]

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.


Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates



I dont know any teens who dont do every one of those. WTF if your kid is a gay count chocula eater who wears black clothes get him to a church right now? Kind of funny that the oldest religion on earth <hinduism> is a cult to these people. I call jesus worship a cult, and it fucks up way more people than wicca. Since when is Philosophy a religion anyway? Thnak god my parents never listened to these crazies when i was a kid. You know somewhere in america right now some kid is getting sent to a goth boot camp by his crazy fundie parents, just because of this list.

[Omun]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. Thats the most rediculous thing i ever heard of lol. Only real goths get down with the Count Dracula lmao, thats gonna be the next kinda cereal I buy.

[4252]

This stuff is nothing new, the world has been mad for quite a while. I went to a catholic school, a long time ago, and they said the same things about rock & roll, Mad Magazine, and any movie that wasn't approved by some saintly comittee or other.

It's not so funny when you realize how many people buy into this kind of hysteria.

Maybe the old style priests and nuns were Goths. They wore a lot of black, didn't they?

42

[crystal clear pepsi]

i went to a christan school and they were way over bearing


and i say now I BEALEV IN GOD , AND I LOVE HIM AND I BELEAVE THAT JESUS IS THE SON OF GOD AND THAT HE DIED FOR MY SINS AND I ACCEPT HIM INTO MY HEART
But jsut causer i am strong in what i beleav dosent mea i think you should look down on ppl for how they dress or act , every one is diffrent ...... all that stuff dont matter is wahts in ur heart :rolleyes:

i my self smoke weed , do drugs , ahve lots of pre marital sex :rolleyes: , dress kinda gothy , but non of this says n e thing about me as a person :p ..............

fuck close minded ppl .....

heres pic of me :eek:

i get jsudeged alot , but u gota say fuck ppl like that like i did along time ago

[crystal clear pepsi]

and YES .... that IS the infamous BAT-MAN shirt u all know and love so well hahaha

[az666]

shit dude hahahahaha what a load of shit
at sum point in my life i have done all of thoses things except

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.


There are 4 things on that list that i havent done.
Oh dear looks like im going to hell....(snigger) :(

[Looker]

Hey Clmbing High nice avatar...

[Buck268]

I'd say I'm anything but goth, but so many of those apply to me :D Fuck man, I've said it before and I'll say it again; the church as an establishment is not what they claim to be :eek: :o

[ermitonto]

In case you want to flame the people who made this crap, or reform your Satanic TV-liking sex-fantasizing Internet-using Count-Chocula-eating ways, here's their contact info:

http://www.stmaryschurch.org/contact.asp

[sawleaf]

Damn never knew there were so many undercover Goths! :)

[Encatuse]

Follows cult like religions like... philosophy and buddhism.

LOL

[kevy cola]

Follows cult like religions like... philosophy and buddhism.

LOL

lol, No shit, since when is Buddishm a cult. From what I can tell buddists are some of the most peacful people in the world. IMO the church has lost it's usefulness in modern society and I beleive that within the next 50 years it will begin disapear

[ermitonto]

You guys have got it all wrong. Last semester, I was taking this philosophy course and the teacher made us shave our heads and dress in white togas. Every day we would chant to our Great Teacher and on the last day of class we all had to drink poison Kool-Aid but I didn't drink mine. Beware those crazy philosophers!

[GHoSToKeR]

hahaha ermitonto, you never fail to make me laugh.. well, you do occasionally, but on those occasionas i just look at a picture of a clown slipping on a banana, and the laughs come back :)

[Not Enough Herb]

this has to be a joke lol

guess im going to hell cuz basically cuz im a lot of things on that list. see u guys on in hell.

i think st.mary's church needs to smoke a joint and just chill

ppl r so fucked. guys look im eating cereal witha cartoon vampire on it. ALL HAIL SATAN

ugh

later

[Euphoric]

this has to be a joke lol

guess im going to hell cuz basically cuz im a lot of things on that list. see u guys on in hell.

i think st.mary's church needs to smoke a joint and just chill

ppl r so fucked. guys look im eating cereal witha cartoon vampire on it. ALL HAIL SATAN

ugh

later


im telling satan you said that

[ding.dong.foff.bong]

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this

You never know one day, its count dracula cereal for breakfast and drinking blood for lunch???? I wonder which one is bad??? I suppose its just the haveing a ham shank before tea thats the problem...
This cant be for real
If it is true the "local mental health center" needs closeing they get "money for nothing and there chicks for free".....oh shock horror thats a rock song I must be a goth..

[ilovelife]

that shit is seriously hilarious, and im callin those nun bitches tomorow haha it should be very funny... seriously if my kid didnt wanna watch tv, didnt want to have sex, and hated music,,,id think he was little pussy and kick his ass til he gained some testosterone...those nun bitches have nothing better to do, hopefully when they die they will relize how stupid they were in beleiving that there was a god,,, then when they relize that theyll pull out theyre 70 year old dildos and go to town on them ol' pussies! haha nuns are stupid, celibate, dumbass priest hoes who fantasize about sticking pancakes in their assholes

[slipnslide087]

that stuff is ridiculous but i dont know about all that shit^^^