Life changing UA. NEED to Pass!!! Help!

[Tribalash]

Ok so on Friday i will be taking a UA at a completely supervised government building. I need to pass this test to have even a chance of going the direction in life that i want. The problems with the testing circumstances are that i dont know at what point during the day i will have to take the test so the detox drinks with the 5 hour time frame scare me, also there is no chance of being able to sub or mod the urine in any way. I have not smoked for 15 or so days but before that was a fairly heavy user 5+ times a day of premo stuff. i bought the 7 day herbal clean premium detox and finished the program about 3 days ago... tested my self today STILL positive damnit! So went to a local shop and bought Permanent 5 and started. my current plan is to exercise daily and drink about 5 cups of green tea a day, about a litre of cranberry juice a day and water when ever i can manage. im going to go to a lab and test myself on wed. i hope i will pass. if not i plan on quitting with the exercise but keep drinking the same. and the morning before the test day wake early and start pounding down the water and taking some kind of mask drink (suggestions please! -heard strip nc or whatever sucks) then pissing as much as i can and hope that the test takes place sometime in those 5 hours... thats just the plan i have now but i would love some other suggestions or comments on the likely hood i will succeed! thanks in advance

[jeffman]

Your doing great with 15 days clean...All the answers are in the DILUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines thread above this one. It sounds like Your best hope....
Good Luck...:thumbsup:

Still Winston...

AS THE GREAT BEN STERN SAID TOO HIS SON HOWARD STERN......STOP BEING STUPID YOU MORON!!!

[Tribalash]

i looked over the dilution guide and the problem with that my day will be monitered to the point that i would only be able to complete maybe the first 2 steps and after entering the building there is no way that i would be able to access that much water that frequently or the restroom.

[GodBud]

Now days companies are testing for actual smokescreens so keep that in mind. Your best bet is to pound water like you will never see it again. You will be pissing a lot but that in itself helps in the release of toxins in your body. I promise you, if you drink like 2 + gal of water a day you will pass your test! I know because I did it and I smoked like you did and I was only clean for like 2 weeks. Start pounding the sky juice my brutha and you will be fine. Good luck!

Peace

Peace

[FakeBoobsRule]

Now days companies are testing for actual smokescreens so keep that in mind. Your best bet is to pound water like you will never see it again. You will be pissing a lot but that in itself helps in the release of toxins in your body. I promise you, if you drink like 2 + gal of water a day you will pass your test! I know because I did it and I smoked like you did and I was only clean for like 2 weeks. Start pounding the sky juice my brutha and you will be fine. Good luck!


That is some of the worst advice ever. First of all, just because you are pissing a lot doesn't mean it is helping you release more "toxins." I like to call them metabolites and not toxins anyway but all that means is you are pissing a lot of water, it doesn't mean your kidneys are removing THC metabolites at a faster rate. Drinking a lot of fluids on the day of the test is dilution and dilution is a specific method, not just pounding water. Sports fluids are the preferred fluid and there are specific volumes to use. It isn't 100% passing rate as some will still fail and some may get a negative dilute and they don't have to retest you. Granted a negative dilute in some cases is better than failing but drinking 2 + gallons of water a day isn't the best advice. The only smokescreens they test for is for dilution by measuring specific gravity and creatinine clearance, substitution by temperature and additives by testing pH and for nitrites. I don't know what smokescreens you are talking about. Could you be more specific next time?

Tribalash, you didn't give your stats like height and weight and smoking history and physical activity. If you get a test done on Wednesday, if it is a lab test you might not get the results in time. You could get in a little bit of aerobic on Monday and Tuesday to help as well as using soluble fiber like Metamucil. You can also take a big dose of fiber on the day of the test (strip NC is basically 15 grams of soluble fiber). Other than that, only time is going to lower your THC metabolite level and if you are still dirty on Friday you will have to dilute or sub.

[nurse maryjane]

I am by no means a drug test expert, and I know you said that you couldn't sub....but what about using a whizzinator? It looks like a penis, and it pees like a penis (from what I've seen on the website)...IDK, just thought about it while reading your post....but either way, just do waht FBR tells you to and you can't go wrong. Good luck!!

[Tribalash]

Thanks guys i appreciate all the response especially yours FBR read over alot of your posts and you are well respected around here and rightfully so.

Age 20
Height 6 foot
Weight 150
Pass usage - heavy for about 2 years 5+ times a day (clean now for about 15 days)

Thanks again guys... know anything about this permanent 5 detox stuff i got? guys at the shop said it was good stuff and it was not cheap 80 bucks. not sure about it but it definitely makes your piss vitamin yellow. Its supplement facts are:

for one capsule and you take 5 spread out over a day
amount %daily value
riboflavin 35mg 2058%

psylitain PC blend 745mg *
contains:
Creatine Monohydrate
Burdock root
Dandelion Root
Chamomile Flower
Milk Thistle

[Tribalash]

oh and NJ im iffy about using the Whizzinator because the people i have talked to that were tested under the same circumstances said they are basically staring at you the whole time they dont have a bit of regard for anything close to privacy. good idea though

[Tribalash]

I called the lab they do all there testing in house and can give immediate response unless it is questionable they send it out of state.

[GodBud]

That is some of the worst advice ever.


Look bro no need to be a dick. Were all here to help and you contradicting what others have to say just creates confusion. I am speaking from experience. I was within 2 weeks of smoking heavily and all I did was pound water for 2 weeks straight and I passed. I am sure that had nothing to do with it!

Peace

[jeffman]

Look bro no need to be a dick. Were all here to help and you contradicting what others have to say just creates confusion. I am speaking from experience. I was within 2 weeks of smoking heavily and all I did was pound water for 2 weeks straight and I passed. I am sure that had nothing to do with it!Peace
Bro even I can answer Your question, and I'll try not too be a dick.
In this day and age they give a failed/diluted to straight people who drank too much water that day so water is really not the answer. It's good for Your body but 2 gallons a day, For two weeks is over doing it and over working Your system. "It does not remove THC metabolites at a faster rate. These metabolites are released through the kidneys and liver". (Quoted FBR). Try cleaning Your pipe with water. It don't work. Sports drinks are the answer for test day.

FBR is dedicated and Anyones best chance too pass a drug test. A lot of people answer with stupid answers like vinegar, eye drops, green tea, Bleach, etc. only because someone told them they work because someone got lucky.

Do You know how many people got a call that destroyed there life because someone told them these things would work.

People trust Me, It's too late when You get that call that You failed Your drug test...Too late, Game over.
These drinks that say will refund Your money....Too late!!!
The morons who say "Ah Shuckins, That worked for cousin Lukes, Aunts, Brothers best friend 7 or 8 years ago"....Too late

These boards are lucky too have a Person like FBR who does His best to answer the same questions over and over. Thats what happens when People post questions before reading answers all over this forum, You loose Your bedside manor. Big deal,

So Friends, It may not be fool proof, But FBR is Your best bet to pass a drug test hands down.

[ncnavguy]

Dude are you testing to get into the military or something? Just wondering because I've had experience with passing those types of tests.

[Tribalash]

Yea actually that is exactly the case ncnavguy. I have tried to do research into it or at least tried and have not found many sources saying anything about it. any info you have would be great!

[Tribalash]

Hey also guys not try to pick fight or anything like that and i value all your help but i talked to my nutrition professor today and he stated basically what FBR and jeffman said. water will not help clean you out unless you are using certain nutrients that "push" the THC out of your fat. He also said that when you exercise it moves THC to the blood and then the urine so water can help that process slightly. He also said like many others on this forum that water is mainly only help full drinking the 30 or so hours before the test cuz constantly "flowing piss" will let less THC indecators gather and of course dilute.

[ncnavguy]

If you are going to MEPS or down to your recruiting station then go for the whizzinator. You are right that they are much more invasive for military drug tests but they won't make you pull your pants down or anything. They are just in the room with you, and the whizzinator looks like the real enough thing that they arn't going to question it, trust me I've been a watcher for Military UA's before and all I did was make sure that the person didnt dip the cup into the toilet bowl. If you are shipping out and doing your final test before boot camp, do not! use the whizzinator because they will go through all of your shit once you arrive at boot. Follow Fake boobs advice and have hope in that they do not test all of the samples for a command wide test.

[Tribalash]

Thanks nc i was told that they had you strip down for the physical to basically your boxers so im wondering if that is true for the drug testing part too, and if not since you can not have any bags or anything with you where or how would i get it off of me before the strip down physical???

[jeffman]

Hey also guys not try to pick fight or anything like that and i value all your help but i talked to my nutrition professor today and he stated basically what FBR and jeffman said. water will not help clean you out unless you are using certain nutrients that "push" the THC out of your fat. He also said that when you exercise it moves THC to the blood and then the urine so water can help that process slightly. He also said like many others on this forum that water is mainly only help full drinking the 30 or so hours before the test cuz constantly "flowing piss" will let less THC indecators gather and of course dilute.
Your doing great so far. Your doing Your homework. Theres no fights here Bro, Were all just stoner's trying Our best to give advice and opinions. Everyone here are good people and I wish We could all sit and burn one together.

[FakeBoobsRule]

Look bro no need to be a dick. Were all here to help and you contradicting what others have to say just creates confusion. I am speaking from experience. I was within 2 weeks of smoking heavily and all I did was pound water for 2 weeks straight and I passed. I am sure that had nothing to do with it!

Peace
Unlike you, I didn't call you names, I said your advice was some of the worst advice I had seen. I explained why it was bad from how you can't clean your body, the thing about smokescreens, about how water was not the preferred fluid and 2 gallons may result in a dilute method. You, on the other hand, promised this person would pass. Obviously I don't confuse anyone or the OP as they thanked me for the previous post and other past posts. Then I gave Tribalash some good advice to pass their test. Call me a name again and I will give you an infraction, are we clear on this?

[ncnavguy]

So your doing your entrance proccessing? Damn I forgot they give your a prostrate exam and make you do the turn your head and cough thing. So forget about the whizzinator your right. Follow the Dilution and masking advice here and know that you'll be okay no matter what. Even if the test comes back positive they won't ban you from service, your recruiter will be pissed to hell and you'll be put back around 3 monthes and then you go through proccessing again, or since your probably in DEP status you can just blow it off and tell your recruiter you were sick or had some emergancy and reschedule it for the next available time (probably the following week) They put you through again, and don't believe them when they say you are legally bound to show up just because of your dep contract its BS, you arn't bound by anything until you sign your real enlistment contract and the end of MEPS processing. I think if I was in your situation I would blow off the first date for processing and don't talk the recruiter for a few days, make some shit up and ask for another chance, hopefully with an extra week or two you'll be clean, and don't worry about how mad the recruiters will be they need you more than you need them and will accomidate a couple of minor screwups.

[Tribalash]

Hey FBR if you could could you tell me anything new after i supplied you with my stats and let me know if you know anything about that permanent 5 stuff or if that much of those nutrients do anything!!! thanks man

[Tribalash]

thanks nc. i have blown off my recruiter a couple of times already i think i need to just call him and tell him my situation my GF is also joining and her recruiter knows all about her drug history, and hes working with her on it... i just need to get it over with and take the ass chewing that is coming my way

[killerweed420]

Lots of good advice in this thread. I really like to see people like navguy who know the process and can comment on what takes place.
We could all use more "inside" advice.

[Tribalash]

alright so i ended up giving my recruiter a call and i think every thing will turn out alright he said he can reschedule the test if necessary and he said that they have niacin pills that they will give me. THANKS all of you guys!!!!!!

[ncnavguy]

cool man, glad its worked out!

[Tribalash]

I talked just talked to my recruiter alot about what all they test for (diluted, creatine, blockers and so on) if you have any questions about that hit me up.

[Burnt Toast]

water will not help clean you out unless you are using certain nutrients that "push" the THC out of your fat. This is false. There is absolutely nothing that can remove THC from fat cells, except time and physical activity.

That means no water, no "nutrients", no detox potions - NOTHING.

[Tribalash]

Yea there is a chance anyone can be wrong but he is one of the head professors at my university with a doctorate in biochem, nutrition, and he worked for the FDA for 8 years. I know for a fact that it is possible to excrete certain substances from fats in certain concentrations.

[Burnt Toast]

Yea there is a chance anyone can be wrong but he is one of the head professors at my university with a doctorate in biochem, nutrition, and he worked for the FDA for 8 years. I know for a fact that it is possible to excrete certain substances from fats in certain concentrations.

Its quite clear that both you and the "professor" had either missed or ignored the class discussions on how THC is processed in the human body. Otherwise, both of you would have known as fact that, once again, there is absolutely nothing that can remove THC from fat cells, except time and physical activity.

[Tribalash]

well ill give you the benefit of the doubt as as you can guess THC was not gone over in class. I am by no means an expert and i am open to EVERYONES opinion and i definitely am not saying that you are wrong and i dont know you background and referances and i know that there is nothing that instantly gets all of the THC out of your body in like a week or two but i think that there is a possibility of a slight decrease in detox time. I dont know your background but i tend to lean toward some one that has spent a life time in the field of nutrition.

[jeffman]

Good Luck Bro....:thumbsup:

[Tribalash]

Hey thanks Jeffman i appreciate all the info and help you provided

[FakeBoobsRule]

Trib, you hit the nail on the head, even though someone might have some degree in healthcare or the healthcare field, there isn't a class like Drug Testing 420 (ha ha!!!) that one can take. Healthcare is a start but it also takes looking under rocks, experience, research, talking to collectors and lab techs, trial and error, etc. to develope the methods of beating tests and understanding how testing works.

Your professor may have heard the niacin myth or think anti-oxidents help. Maybe they are big on herbs who knows but the bottom line is, like Burnt Toast and others said, is time and aerobic exercise. Soluble fibers helps a little too but this works more in the gut and not in the fat tissue.


I saw your stats and they look like they are in your favor, 6 feet and 150 pounds. I was not impressed by the detox ingredients, over priced Vitamin B-2 and creatine. Buy some Metamucil.