Long Distance Relationship?

[HighWheeling]

I know that a lot fail. However, my existence is proof that they do work too. But I'm thinking about trying it with a girl I know. Use to work with her (which is why I never tried anything earlier, I didn't want things to get messed up at work if things didn't work) for the past year and then some. I like her, and she likes me... That's the easy part, ironic since usually that's the hardest part.

I know she's willing to try long-distance... I'm not sure that I want to do that, but that's not what I'm torn about.

How exactly does one do a long-distance relationship? If I decide that I can do this, I don't know what it entails. I mean... we only hung out once before I moved, cause it sort of grew over the last summer, though I knew I liked her since last summer. But... I don't have any idea exactly how one does a Long Distance relationship.

*shrug* anyone been in one? It's always been something I told myself I wouldn't do... but obviously I'm reconsidering.

On the plus said, I finally found myself a dealer today. I was out for a run, and some guy was walking around with a bunch of brownies and baggies and asked me if I wanted some. Wasn't even looking lol. Plus, I got his number. So that makes me happy, way easy =)

[beachguy in thongs]

You're gonna need some type of free long-distance calling plan. You need to memorize the driving directions, in case you need to leave, for her, tomorrow.

[xxxhazexxx]

its not easy dude,i have lost the girl of my life due to the fact we are so far apart if she was closer i would be albe to get her.:(

goodluck mate hope it works for you both:thumbsup:

[stars stars stars]

Honestly, it's not going to work. It might at first, but humans need physical contact. Unless you're seeing her every weekend and then some, one of you is either going to slip-up or get frustrated. I've been there, I've done that. My boyfriend lives a few towns away and it drives me crazy, I can't imagine him being any further.

I've been in a few long distance relationships. They're really great at first, until you realize you have no idea what he/she's doing when you're not around. When you start getting jealous because they're going out and you're not with them. When you start getting lonely, angry, ect and they're not there to comfort you.

Maybe yous are strong people tho and can overcome that. I think it depends on the people too. In my opinion, though; they don't work.

[stinkyattic]

It can work. My record is 4200 miles for several months- you need cash for plane tickets in that case, lol- the only reason it ended was that I was unwilling to sell my house and move, but until I came to that decision, it was a wonderful relationship. We had excellent trust and were able to see each other about a week every 2 months. I thought that the lack of physical contact would be hard, but it wasn't, and I was never even tempted to stray. I'd say that having a specific goal in mind for where the relationship is heading, that you both see as a good future, is important to a long-distance relationship.

You need:
EXCELLENT communication- misinterpreting things said on the phone or in text is a really easy pitfall.
TRUST- neither of y'all better be foolin' around, or even SUSPECT the other of it.
Free long-distance calling obviously
Somewhat compatible time zones- a 4 hour difference SUCKS trust me.
Some idea of an ideal future to keep your relationship moving forward.

Long distance is a pain in the butt, but at the same time, it can be freeing and rewarding. I'd be perfectly happy to do it all over again for the right man.

[geonagual]

Is 100 miles enough to be considered a long distance relationship?

[yoda]

Is 100 miles enough to be considered a long distance relationship?

nahhhh man, she just lives far away.

me personally, i don't think they are worth it. i tried it, we last several months. and i was so excited cause she was getting ready to move back permanently in a month from when i went to visit her. when she came to MD, things were AMAZING. when i went to cali, fucking 2 weeks of hell.

the thing is, jealousy comes into play. when she went out with her friends, i had no idea what she was doing. part of it killed me cause i knew she'd act flirty, but just how flirty?

physical contact was something i missed a lot. not just sex, but holding hands or kissing too. i flirted with several girls just cause. only one instance where i came close to cheating. but i dunno with her case.

it's just really hard and takes a toll dude. keep everything in consideration. but if neither of you are in a position to visit often for extended time, not even remotely worth doing.

[beachguy in thongs]

when she went out with her friends, i had no idea what she was doing. part of it killed me cause i knew she'd act flirty, but just how flirty?


If you're out of place, she should've taken you everywhere that she went. She should have turned down her friends to be with you. You turned down your home-state for her.

The first weekend that I moved into an apartment with a girl, none of our stuff was unpacked, and, she was invited to a "sex party", by her mother and sister. If her mother brought five guests, she received a free dildo, or something. My girlfriend was to be the fifth guest.

She asked if she could leave her phone with me, so she can call, and, I said, "I'm not gonna answer it. If I have no clue where you are, I'm not letting you know where I am." Even though, I had no place to go. I was in Wisconsin, for Christ's sake!

So, she rebelled against her mother and blew her off. I kept telling her to go, but, she realized that we had nothing for me to do, at the house. Boxes were everywhere. I had no money, so a bar was out of the question. I had no friends.

The next four months, we did everything together. I moved back here, with her, and, still do everything with her.

[HighWheeling]

As I said, I know it CAN work, the fact that I am alive means it can work.

Trust for me isn't an issue. As opposite as we are, the fact that she is a good girl (no drinking, smoking, christian) who doesn't even club. I am a somewhat jealous type (I get jealous but I don't take it out on her. I know some boyfriends who have told their girl not to even talk to their guy friends, I'm not like that, I just feel it) but as for her I trust her completely, it's just not her personality/character to do something like that. She might have trust issues with me, obviously I hope not because I'm the guy who will end something if something better comes along (haven't yet, btw), but I don't cheat. But she knows I drink/smoke.

Good call on phone plan. I may have to up my minutes. We don't actually talk on the phone, we just text eachother all day (she sent me 365 a couple nights ago, probably more last night). I definitely hate talking on the phone - I view a 30 minute conversation as one that dragged on forever. But, I guess we all got to make sacrifices =).

We are actually a few hundred miles away. I'm in the middle of Oregon she's at the top of WA, near the Canada border. But, a train up there is only 49 dollars. So, especially next year when I will have a lot more money, it won't be bad. Btw I'm high right now.

[beachguy in thongs]

My ex-girlfriend, from high school, used to live in Oregon, said it was nice, and, it is the first place my doctor suggested that I move to. Plus, if I only have to go a few hundred miles for girls, then I'm all set!

[HighWheeling]

I forgot to add my gratitude, thanks, this is informative stuff for me to read. Sorry, baked moment.

[GracefulToke]

I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 and half years, and we are still going strong... as far as im concerned. If its worth it for both of you, then yes it will without a doubt work. Its fucking hard, and it takes a lot... but like I said, if its worth it, then you work around those things. One of the best things about long distance, even though it gets tiring after a while is that, everytime you guys do get to be together, its like a honeymoon.
If you really want to be with this girl, and you think its worth while even though you two are apart, then go for it. If you don't... you might regret it for the rest of your life.

[LuckyG]

Most long-distance relationships that I've seen fell apart eventually. But, you don't know unless you try, I guess.

[thcbongman]

I am in a long distance relationship, and while I see many people saying it couldn't possibly work, I beg to differ. Out of the relationships in my life, this has been the most fulfilling. She's everything I want.

I have much more barriers than y'all have. My girl is in another country, and I won't be seeing her again until December. When it all came together, it was 4 days before she had to go back.

I have found there are great things about a long-distance relationship. I really get to know her on a level I don't think I would've known otherwise. There is nothing physical to rely on, it's all mental and emotional stimulation. You have to have chemistry, share interests, and also bring different things to the table. It's a beautiful thing. When I visit her, we'll do all the physical things to make up for lost time! 2 1/2 months this so far has lasted, and it only getting stronger.

It does require much faith and trust. I know she won't cheat, and neither would I. Your own feelings of jealousy, and insecurity is poison, which would wreck the relationship. But I'm not a weak man.

I'm willing to gamble for get her. That's all what it comes down to: if you are willing to take the risk. Your hopes could come crashing down at any moment, but you know what? If you think the person is worth it, do it.

[HighWheeling]

Thanks guys. I'm going back home to grab my car this weekend and she is making plans to come back (which still puts us 20 miles apart but that's nothing) the same time, so I will see what happens there. I'm willing to do it and so is she, it's now a matter of figuring out specifics, which is easier compared to this decision.

[beachguy in thongs]

Good luck!

[Canadian_Cron]

in my opinion long distance relationships are pointless because they are really hard and unless you think that your gonna marry this person someday or something... but if not you'll only end up finding someone else you like a few months later. but if your gonna try for it good luck.

[HighWheeling]

CC, that was my thought. But how will I know if I will marry her unless I try. I'm only 18, so the thought of marriage is way ahead here. But how else will I know. I think I'd kick myself if I never tried.

I finally "asked" so to speak. I ended up getting incredibly sick over the weekend (puking and soforth) so I decided to wait till today. So I guess my days of being single are over. I guess the reason why she didn't want to in the summer was because she thought my old location was too far away. She didn't quite realize where I lived I guess, she thought I commuted a long ways to work or something =P. It was 20 minutes from her house haha. I think I can visit every-other-weekend now that I have my car. Luckily I have friends at her college (she's in a strict dorm, no guys allowed period, with a tough RA) so I could crash with them when I visit. Unless she decides to sneak me in ;)

I'm happy. confused at what to do, but happy =)

[Struck420]

take a note from scrubs and get some webcams and youll have a better shot than just talking on the phone IMO good luck hope it really works for you :thumbsup:

[spatte21]

It CAN work man. Ive been in one for 3 years, and its been a rough motherfucker, but totally worth it. the secret is.........cheat! haha just messin with you, though it probably would make it easier. As long as you maintain good communication and dont care about your buddies giving you shit all the time then you should be good. Make sure you really love her though or you're only wasting her time as well as yours.

[potsmokingnome]

I know that a lot fail. However, my existence is proof that they do work too. But I'm thinking about trying it with a girl I know. Use to work with her (which is why I never tried anything earlier, I didn't want things to get messed up at work if things didn't work) for the past year and then some. I like her, and she likes me... That's the easy part, ironic since usually that's the hardest part.

I know she's willing to try long-distance... I'm not sure that I want to do that, but that's not what I'm torn about.

How exactly does one do a long-distance relationship? If I decide that I can do this, I don't know what it entails. I mean... we only hung out once before I moved, cause it sort of grew over the last summer, though I knew I liked her since last summer. But... I don't have any idea exactly how one does a Long Distance relationship.

*shrug* anyone been in one? It's always been something I told myself I wouldn't do... but obviously I'm reconsidering.

On the plus said, I finally found myself a dealer today. I was out for a run, and some guy was walking around with a bunch of brownies and baggies and asked me if I wanted some. Wasn't even looking lol. Plus, I got his number. So that makes me happy, way easy =)

Hmmmmm My last relationship started out as a long distance relationship. and after about 4 months she ended up moving in with me, and then about 9 months later we got happily married! But after 4 and a half years of marriage now we are going through a divorce..The reason why our marriage failed is cause we rushed it way too fast, way too fast! and most of that was due to the distance between us in the first place. Its hard to trully get to know the way your going to interact fully with that person when your having a long distance relationship, I honestly thought she was the one for me, but In the begining when we visited each other all we got to see of each other was the good side, not the bad. and eventually we both revealed our incompatability. I honestly don't think I'll ever get involed in a long distance relationship again, but my problems were not all to do with the distance. I rushed everything, and so did she...I should've taken more time to get to know her before she moved in with me.

So my advice is if you do this long distance relationhship take it slow and just see where it goes. Ya never know it might work, but ya never know if ya don't try. The main problem i find with long distance relationship is, you don't have enough time when you/she is visiting to truly get to know each other, and in order to trully get to know each other you have to close the gap and that ussually involves one of you moving, and thats a huge step. Some people can make it work, but its an risky situation. and going from a long distance relationship to a face to face relationship is ussually quite the adjustment.

[GracefulToke]

Every long distance relationship will hit a breaking point. A point that asks "is this worth it?" Its really hard when you get stuck in these ruts, but if you can find your way out of them together, then I guess its meant to be. Im in the middle of one of those ruts, im hoping for the best... love really is fucking hard.

[bluntmaster430]

I was with the same girl off and on through out all of college. all most 5 years now. We HAD been long distance for only 6 months and the strain ruined an amazing relationship. i tell you that if you love them you always have to try. but even if it they love you back, it doesn't always have to work out ........

"100 days have made me older since the last time that i saw your pretty face."