I think I may be becoming insane.... (spiritual discussion)

[Psychoactive420]

:(OK I think this is really serious and I don't know if anyone has gone through this or not. But here it goes -

It all started 2 days ago - I went to sleep one night having no idea I was about to embark on by far the most powerful / strangest dreams I have ever had in my entire life. I went to sleep around 1AM. - I found myself sitting in the backseat of the truck with about 4 other people in the car maybe 3- I'm pretty sure I knew all of them but I don't remember exactly who they were. It was night time and we were sitting in the parking lot of where I worked slowly driving out. There were plenty of people all around walking to their cars I guess like something just let out - everyone was probably around my age (teens) - It looked like a concert just got out or something and everyone was going to their cars... anyways we are slowly inching out of the parking lot and something happens- A young man with long brown hair darts out in front of our slow moving truck and stops, I notice he has a gun he shoots twice maybe hitting other people in the car then I see his eyes look directly at mine This all happens so fast I dont even know its happening really until it's too late once he looks directly at my eyes I had never been so scared in my life, he shoots all I hear is the shot ring in my ears. everything goes black - I then experience the strangest feeling I have ever felt in my entire life the feeling after you die... This feeling is not even a feeling - there is nothing - It is the "feeling" you feel before you are born. Normally I could not even begin to comprehend this feeling in my conscious normal state of mind, but I did in the dream. It was horrible - I then come to a strange realization of my life... -" I had never really believed in my own death" I never stopped to think - "hey I will die someday and there might not be a conscious state of mind after death" I felt bad about all the people I would leave behind and never see again... it was as if mankind was nothing but the product of matter, energy, and time throughout the universe... I woke up around 5:50AM and slowly came back to reality. I have no idea what caused a crazy dream like this all of the sudden. The next morning before going to school I couldn't stop thinking about death and afterlife and If there was an afterlife and what dying would feel like. I felt extremely depressed the next day and at some points throughout the day feareed that I would not forget the feeling and that I am becoming mentally insane.... I feel depressed and strange over this feeling.... I don't know how to get rid of it. But I hope It goes away. I also tried to research a little on religion. I myself WANT to believe in god and after life but theres apart of me that won't let me believe in it because it doesn't seem real I guess... should I try to pray more? I really want to make myself believe in god and in an afterlife but I dont know how. Should I seek help on this? Please guys tell me what you think - sorry for all of my rambling on.

[Psychoactive420]

BTW I didn't smoke before this dream or anything - actually I haven't smoked since like the middle of august and this dream happened on the night of September 9th

[LaZ]

Wow thats a pretty lucid dream.

[Jake420]

You have found complete nirvana

[Psychoactive420]

Maybe ^^^ But That feeling that I had been experiencing in the dream keeps coming back to me in waves.... It hit me in the middle of class so intensely today I almost cried for some reason....Does that sound like I have a problem? I took the time to write the dream down and all my feelings in a journal... I feel like im becoming some kind of freak..... and now when I walk down the halls in school and see all the people I feel alone like Im in my own kind of realm and the feeling is almost dreamlike in a way in the fact that I know no one has experienced what I did - (and Im not some sort of goth emo kid which im sure your picturing in your mind right now) I'm a normal guy like everyone, I have friends, a job play a sport and am into normal stuff... I just now am feeling I am becoming an outcast in a way..

[Jake420]

you should research the theory of parrallel universes its a very interesting concept

read the book DMT: the spirit molecule by rick strassman

I have had dreams that felt more real then life and dreams that have changed me

I have had feelings in real life that i knew were related to a dream

there is more to this world then what you see and feel, you just have to find that

[Jake420]

all the feeling of being alone is just a mind trick man that dream effected your life for sure and because you dont understand it, it is effecting it in a bad way, when you understand it and accept it, it won't seem like a bad thing

This is all IMO so idk if you understand

just trying to help

jake

[Adjacent]

For me, being an atheist and not believing in an afterlife makes life that much more fulfilling. I mean, think of the time we have here on this earth, and think about how much there is to experience!

When I think about death, I get restless, I want to do things, to meet people, experience all that life has to offer before my short time here is over.

I think maybe your problem is that you feel like there is so much left to do, but when you consider that you could die tomorrow, you get frustrated and just go on a downward spiral. What you need to do is to realize that YES, you are going to be dead and gone forever some day, and so you need to experience as much joy in life as you can.

When you wake up every morning be glad that today is another day and that you can do anything you want. Be with friends, be with family, find someone and something that makes you the happiest.



YOU'RE ALIVE! And life is great. Now go do something awesome.

[Psychoactive420]

you should research the theory of parrallel universes its a very interesting concept

read the book DMT: the spirit molecule by rick strassman

I have had dreams that felt more real then life and dreams that have changed me

I have had feelings in real life that i knew were related to a dream

there is more to this world then what you see and feel, you just have to find that

Thank you - I needed that. It's nice to know that someone else in this world has an idea of what I experienced - I feel as If the afterlife if there is one, is too complex and that mankind can no way comprehend the feeling because it is so beyond out intellect.

[Psychoactive420]

For me, being an atheist and not believing in an afterlife makes life that much more fulfilling. I mean, think of the time we have here on this earth, and think about how much there is to experience!

When I think about death, I get restless, I want to do things, to meet people, experience all that life has to offer before my short time here is over.

I think maybe your problem is that you feel like there is so much left to do, but when you consider that you could die tomorrow, you get frustrated and just go on a downward spiral. What you need to do is to realize that YES, you are going to be dead and gone forever some day, and so you need to experience as much joy in life as you can.

When you wake up every morning be glad that today is another day and that you can do anything you want. Be with friends, be with family, find someone and something that makes you the happiest.



YOU'RE ALIVE! And life is great. Now go do something awesome.

Yes your right I did feel what you just explained... I have no Idea how you knew that.... something in me wants to believe in religion though.... I feel so depressed if there was no afterlife for some reason... maybe it's a stage of denial?

[Jake420]

nice call Adjacent

so you feel better pycho?

[Psychoactive420]

YOUR RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS NIRVANA I FELT! I JUST LOOKED IT UP -

"There is that dimension where there is neither earth, nor water, nor fire, nor wind; neither dimension of the infinitude of space, nor dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, nor dimension of nothingness, nor dimension of neither perception nor non-perception; neither this world, nor the next world, nor sun, nor moon. And there, I say, there is neither coming, nor going, nor stasis; neither passing away nor arising: without stance, without foundation, without support [mental object]. This, just this, is the end of stress."

[Jake420]

there you go man

few people achive that without work

[zach5993]

Sometimes I feel that, I had a similar experience when I was stoned one day. I was thinking about relegion and wondered, "what the fuck is this?" For one moment life did not exist. That one idea mindfucked me for nearly a year. I have not gotten over it and it still haunts me. But I beleive I understand it and accept it and I try not to ponder it or I am sure I will have to go into therapy or even attempt a suicide. Sorry about the long story but I hope it relates.

[Psychoactive420]

there you go man

few people achive that without work

That quote......it was EXACTLY what I felt but with better words... would this mean that all religions are, are theories or reasonings that people make to cope with their fears of the unknown (afterlife) people fear what they don't understand so maybe they created explanations to the afterlife with religions?

[Psychoactive420]

Sometimes I feel that, I had a similar experience when I was stoned one day. I was thinking about relegion and wondered, "what the fuck is this?" For one moment life did not exist. That one idea mindfucked me for nearly a year. I have not gotten over it and it still haunts me. But I beleive I understand it and accept it and I try not to ponder it or I am sure I will have to go into therapy or even attempt a suicide. Sorry about the long story but I hope it relates.

well said...I love you- I go through the same thing

[Jake420]

yeah its a very good quote

if everyone in this world pondered what this world is and what the afterlife is and what everything is it would ruin all of our lifes because some questions are just unquestionable even though they are the questions that we want the answeres to the most. kinda shitty lol

[zach5993]

That makes sense, the questions that we want the answers to the most ( truth of afterlife, point of life) are unanswerable and if we do attempt to answer them, it will destroy our lifes?

[Psychoactive420]

yeah its a very good quote

if everyone in this world pondered what this world is and what the afterlife is and what everything is it would ruin all of our lifes because some questions are just unquestionable even though they are the questions that we want the answeres to the most. kinda shitty lol

yeah I mean when I think of Nirvana I think of the band Nirvana which makes me think of Kurt Cobain and how he commited suicide to achieve Nirvana. I don't think I'll commit suicide and ill live until im really old or until I die of some car crash or some shit... Ill stick around and experience this crazy thing called life with all of you guys.......man.....this is one crazy fucken world........how the fuck did we all get here.....

I mean I guess all we can do is experience this world and life, It is very strange if you try to think of it in detail. It's as if nothing matters at all forever... But, hey we are here somehow on this planet in this massive universe all just trying to live in happiness so why not live it out?

[zach5993]

Sometimes as I ponder Nirvana I need to go do something crazy and exciting to forget about it and remind myself that THIS is my life. The best things are smoking bud, free rock climbing, reading. It just depends, do you like the feeling of nirvana? Or do you hate it and want to get away from as I do?

[steme]

This is no big strange occuerrence. Everyone has dreams that they experience death in. As soon as you die you wake up really quickly. Its a feeling of terror the second you wake up. But when you are awake you realize it was a dream and theres a thing called REALITY. And time goes on.

[zach5993]

This is no big strange occuerrence. Everyone has dreams that they experience death in. As soon as you die you wake up really quickly. Its a feeling of terror the second you wake up. But when you are awake you realize it was a dream and theres a thing called REALITY. And time goes on.

What is reality?

[Psychoactive420]

Zach - I am curious about the feeling of Nirvana but in order to live my life I need to put the feeling out of my mind. I think it is necessary to live a normal life. I'm guessing that time will put it out of my mind and I will move on and continue to live life out. MAYBE people have realized that Nirvana would come when they die so they created religion to live out normal lives.

[Psychoactive420]

What is reality?

the state of things as they actually exist - from wikipedia don't know if it helps at all lolz

[Psychoactive420]

good talk guys I hope I will be able to get out of this mindfuck state of mind and live like I did before I got mindfucked

[zach5993]

The state of things as they actually exist.... haha check out this fanatical website (http://www.anus.com) for its veiws on relegion. I do not follow its policies but its got some info on reality. I swear its not porn, I dont think they know it spells anus.

[Coelho]

Zach - I am curious about the feeling of Nirvana but in order to live my life I need to put the feeling out of my mind. I think it is necessary to live a normal life. I'm guessing that time will put it out of my mind and I will move on and continue to live life out. MAYBE people have realized that Nirvana would come when they die so they created religion to live out normal lives.

Man... i think if you actually forget this experience and live a "normal life", you will be wasting the greatest gift you ever had in your whole life.
Have you stopped to think how much millions of people spends hours, days, and even their entire lifes meditating, praying, or whatever, for trying to reach the so-called nirvana?
And you had the vision of it absolutely free, with any effort from your part. It would be like winning the big prize in the lottery...

We all will die. Everybody should be aware of it. Everybody should remember it all the time. We dont know when, so it may be right now. You said that it makes you depressed. Well, you and everybody else are gonna die regardless their feelings.
So, use the memory of death for your benefit. Do the things you would like to, as soon as possible. Tell everybody you like how much you like them. Enjoy the simple pleasures of the life. Dont worry about the future. Dont worry about unimportant things. You are alive, and thats the ONLY thing that really matters.

Im one of the ones who spends their time seeking the nirvana, so if i had an experience like yours, it would change completly my life. I know (rationally) that nothing in this wolrd really matters, but dont have the "feeling", i didnt experienced what you did, and thats why my life is still pretty "normal". I worry, i suffer, i dispair, like any "normal" people. I know that all suffering and pain can be transcended, but im not able for doing it myself, and fear i wont while i dont have a great life-changing experience like yours.

So, i would suggest you to dont try to forget your experience, even because you wont. You know that it was deeper than the undertanding, deeper than the reason. Your mind just cant erase this. You can bury it, deny it, as many people does when have "traumatic" experiences, but its no good, because this buried things always come back, sooner or later. Any psychanalist will agree with me here.
So, my advice is: use your experience for your own growth, mental, and spiritual. You dont need to believe in God for being a spiritual peson. Read about religions. Buddhism is a very good one for start with, as you experienced the ultimate goal of it.

And, please, dont acomodate yourself with the "normal life". The "normal life" is for the common people, the not-enlightened ones, the ones that think they will never die, and make all the mistakes caused by it. You was enlightened. So, again, dont waste it. It is the greatest gift any human may recieve.

"and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32

PS. One last note. Most western philosophy wont help you. Most western philosophers are too much down-to-earth to even concieve what you experienced, so their views about life and death are helplessly wrong. If you find any answers, it will be in religious texts, oriental philosophies, or psychedelic literature. Anyway, good luck! :thumbsup:

[Coelho]

That makes sense, the questions that we want the answers to the most ( truth of afterlife, point of life) are unanswerable and if we do attempt to answer them, it will destroy our lifes?

Well... i think it would "destroy our lifes" because our lifes are based upon illusions, and misconceptions about everything. We humans are so lost that we dont even know that were lost. It like the Matrix.
How it would be to realize that everything you believed that was "real" and "your life" was only an illusion?
BTW, Matrix is much more real than people thinks... not that we live a computer-simulated life, but, what we call "reality" is an illusion created by ours senses and our mind. This point is discussed also in many different religions (mainly the oriental ones), as well as in shamanism, magic religions and so.
There is one part in us that fears the unknown, and likes its confortable and known life, so this part makes all the efforts to shut up any perceptions or glimpses we may have about the "true" nature of the reality. Thats why people feels "divided" after experiences like that. One part of your mind wants to live the "real" life, but another part wants to keep you pinned down to the "illusional" life, cause its well known to it.
To choose between reality or illusion is to choose which mind you will hear, and which mind you will ignore.
Note that the mind which lives in illusion is VERY cunning, so it will make everything possible for deny the "real". It will use ALL rational arguments, it will make you feel sad, it will use anything at hand for trying to led you again to the illusion.
But remember that your perception [of the nirvana] was beyond words, beyond reasoning, beyond feelings, so dont let this perception of the nirvana be clouded by words, or reasonings, of feelings, or whatever. They all are just your "illusion-liking" mind trying to dominate again. So,
May the force be with you.

PS. BTW, this illusion-liking mind is not actually ours... its a "foreign instalation", in the words of Don Juan Matus. But i wont enter in detail here...

[mfqr]

Sounds like you had one of those life-changing dreams. That's a good thing -- you learned something from one of your dreams. It is one of the functions of dreams. You aren't insane, you have a lingering atmosphere of the dream. I've had these, where the feeling of the dream lingers while you're awake. If you can learn how to control the atmospheres you feel, then you can get rid of it, or change a bad one to a good one.

[Psychoactive420]

Coelho Thank you.... you are exactly right....I will not be able to erase the feeling I felt or deny it. I am thinking about it all the time.... my perceptions of people and relationships and pretty much everything are completely changed.... I had no idea people actually spend their lives trying to feel what I felt in the dream. I guess I thought I was going insane because the feeling contradicted my parents feelings on afterlife and many other peoples. So I guess I would try to ignore it... and act like everyone else did and believe in god so I would fit in with society....thank you Coelho that was very helpful. I have already wrote like 17 pages in my journal elaborating on my experience and how I perceive things completely differently ( for example at school, at work, in my house ) Its like being reborn again or "rebooted" I feel like an outcast... I had no idea that this dream would have such an effect on me... I thought I would just forget about it in a day or so but it is burnt into my mind...I cant stop thinking about it... even if I try really hard... watching tv, listening to music...... bagging groceries at my job.... NOTHING is the same...its like my life revolves around that dream I had a couple days ago...The feeling comes at me in "waves" of the same feeling each day... I thought it would phase out....but I am coming to the realization it won't.... instead of denying it I will embrace it....- me just saying that felt like it was helpful... thank you..

[Coelho]

You seems like Neo after seeing the Matrix for the first time... and thats a good thing. ;)
Now you know why many people (mostly christians) says they were "reborn"... may this rebith bring you happiness and peace.
So, good luck man! I wish the best for you, and you are welcome!
Any questions, or doubts, just ask! :thumbsup:

[Psychoactive420]

wow Coelho you do have a way with words man...after reading what you wrote and writing it down in my journal I already feel at a dream like state of peace I haven't felt before.... its a different feeling - calm and relaxing now. I kind of feel excited and eager to know more about Nirvana and Buddhism... I am in sort of a state of peace I have been waiting a long time to feel.... It might seem like im being over dramatic but this feeling is real... and like something I haven't felt before... but this is a good feeling now

[Psychoactive420]

BTW Coelho it seems you are very knowledgeable on the subject of Nirvana and Buddhism - Have you read any good books on them or could you suggest any?

[Coelho]

Yeah man... the realization of the Nirvana brings peace... its a different peace, like you said... like a peace of the innermost "soul" or somewhat like...

Now, im sorry to dissapoint you, but my knowledge of buddhism is very limited. I know only the basics of it, as im half-christian, with some shamanistic inclinations. The most things i know come from:

Erowid Online Books : "The Psychedelic Experience" by Leary, Metzner, & Alpert (http://www.erowid.org/library/books_online/psychedelic_experience/psychedelic_experience.shtml)

Thats a book that links psychedelic experiences with acid with mystical enlightenments achieved by buddhas, saints, and lucky ones as you :p
But for a better understanding of it, its good to have some knowledge of buddhism. The link below may provide some basic informations:

Erowid Spirit Vaults : Religions - Buddhism (http://www.erowid.org/spirit/traditions/buddhism/buddhism.shtml)

Anyway, there is a lot of members of cann.com that are buddhists, and can help you. I would suggest to look at the Spirituality forum, or maybe even start a thread there... im sure that they will help.
And, of course, i may answer anything that i know (what is not much... despite my "way with words", i seem much more knowledgeable than i really am. ;) )

[Coelho]

Well... the time for editing the post is out... anyway, thats a good link:

Basic Teachings and Philosophical Doctrines of Buddhism, Himalayan realms (http://www.friesian.com/buddhism.htm)

[Psychoactive420]

hmmm.... When i read about Buddhism I had a faint "familiarity" to it somehow. all my life ive had little thoughts about living as a bird and some redhead person (the only 2 that had popped up in my mind from time to time and I never thought anything of it) - that might sound crazy but maybe past lives? But yeah If I had that dream and did infact experience Nirvana does that mean Im done with being reincarnated into different lives? and I can reach the ultimate and final stage of nirvana? I can't believe that I'm writing this but I feel like Buddhism makes perfect sense and is completely logical... I also feel as if "I'm ahead of the game" in a way. Millions of people all over the world are living their lives right now and not trying to achieve nirvana and only a small percentile of people on the planet are trying to achieve it in this current life time. It feels as if this entire lifetime I have subconsciously been trying to achieve nirvana and I didn't even know it. Like the knowledge carries over to whatever your next life is and you try to achieve it every life you get subconsciously ... but you can only reach it in human form and you get reincarnated as an animal if you live your life not trying to achieve it.... and then you get other chances when you are reincarnated in human form again.... I know very little about Buddhism and Im already making these statements which I don't even know are true...they are just kind of flowing from me.....I have no idea how.... so I guess animal forms are the punished life you get for not trying to achieve it when you had the opportunity too.... does this even sound remotely right?

Retrocognition, the power to know one's own previous existences I think that is what I have because honestly throughout my life I have thought from time to time (very very few times though) that I lived past lives and when I thought of what I might have lived as. I pictured a person male or female not sure which but I know they were redhead? for some reason?....kinda of a weird detail thrown in when I thought of it..and I thought of a small bird...

[Psychoactive420]

Mara was waiting for him with one last temptation. How could the Buddha expect people to understand truth as profound as that which he had discovered? Why not wash his hands of the whole hot world, be done with the body, and slip at once into perpetual nirvana? The argument almost prevailed, but at length the Buddha answered, "There will be some who will understand", and Mara was vanquished forever."


I found this on this on a website - I kind of feel the same way... I think that since I have experienced nirvana or "enlightenment" I should try to help people try to find it themselves...

[Coelho]

Mara was waiting for him with one last temptation. How could the Buddha expect people to understand truth as profound as that which he had discovered? Why not wash his hands of the whole hot world, be done with the body, and slip at once into perpetual nirvana? The argument almost prevailed, but at length the Buddha answered, "There will be some who will understand", and Mara was vanquished forever."


I found this on this on a website - I kind of feel the same way... I think that since I have experienced nirvana or "enlightenment" I should try to help people try to find it themselves...

Yeah, man... thats the best thing you can do. It will be hard work, be warned. Mara, the evil one, knew very well the human race when said that... it was its greatest trumph, the stronger one. But, as Buddha said, there will be some who will understand.

My own advice, based on my own experiences, is to help anyone who ask help. When they ask, they are open to hear.
(and i mean "help" not only if the people ask "hey how can i be enlightened", but also help people with their small problems of everyday life. Now that you know how unimportant the everyday things are, you can show to people how to overcome their "simple" problems. "Simple" for the enlightened ones, those who knows that they dont matter. But for the person, this "simple" problems are huge, are the "reason of their lifes"... and its how you can help. Showing them that their problems come from illusions, delusions, desires and such, and can be solved.)

Or, if you know (or rather "feel", as its much more like intuition) that the people will be interested in how to be a better person, how to reach enlightenment, and will enjoy what they heard, then talk.
But, for the ones who doesnt want to hear, the better is stay quiet. Due the reasons below, in blue letters.

Anyway, again, good luck for you, and my best wishes! :thumbsup:

[Jake420]

there is mythes and legends that are pretty far fetched but i personally believe about budists monks "accending" to a higher state of conciousness, which they basically vaporized into nothingness, to a higher place, pretty interesting concept

[Psychoactive420]

My thoughts as of 9/13/07


I am still feeling like I just came out of the Matrix or a (false reality) everyday...at school, at home, at work... I have done some reading and its pretty much the same with what I'm feeling. The thing I'm scared of most and I am thinking about alot right now is that all of my family members are Christian/ catholic and I don't think they will accept this easily and I don't know how in the world to tell them what I am feeling or going through right now... I feel as if this is the only place... I love my family and I wish for them to experience enlightenment too. Something is even telling me that I should become a monk or something and live a life of selflessness.... I am almost in a suffering state of mind. I am not sure what to do to this point. I find it hard to socialize with people I know now like today at school when kids are making racist jokes or making fun of others I find myself laughing or agreeing approving of (just not saying anything about it) so I can fit in with them and so they won't feel as if im a freak.... The big thing on my mind is that Im attached to my family and all my relationships I have with people and I don't know what to do.... I feel alone, scared, different .... also when I feel like Im in the "Matrix" or false reality as we know it today I feel like I want to go back to the truth of this world (or the enlightened state) and when Im in the enlightened state a part of me wishes that Id just stayed in a false reality for my whole life.... Just thought Id write my thoughts down...

[Psychoactive420]

I need someone to talk to...Maybe someone Buddhist, Maybe the way I could tell my parents is by writing a letter to them. I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't understand and be very confused with me. I'm not even that close with my parents. I don't ever really talk to them unless I need something and now looking at my relationships with each of my family members it brings me a sadness....I don't know if I can live like this I really need help....I need help.......now im crying.......my life is changing so fast and I feel so lost, alone and confused....

[mauichick]

hello. I went through a time where I felt a lot like you. I found myself looking into eastern religions a lot because it made so much more sense to me and made me feel spiritual in a way.
I HIGHLY recommend for you to read:

Siddartha
The Tao of Pooh
The Celestine Prophecy
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior


These are not religious texts with any sort of real rules or facts
But they spoke to me in a way that made me feel like I understood life truly and more meaningfully.

I am serious. Read those books!!
This is actually an awakening for me that I have lost touch with that side of myself, and need to do a little more awakening.

[birdgirl73]

I adjusted your title just a tad and am going to move this thread to our Spirituality area, where I think you'll get even more interesting comments. Fascinating phenomenon you're describing.

[beachguy in thongs]

there is mythes and legends that are pretty far fetched but i personally believe about budists monks "accending" to a higher state of conciousness, which they basically vaporized into nothingness, to a higher place, pretty interesting concept

Their molecules started vibrating so fast that we can't see them.

[Coelho]

Man... thats very tough... i think i understand a bit how you feel, as im feeling something like it too... i wasnt so enlightened as you did, but i did catch some fleeting glimpses of "enlightenment", like, you if did see sun, then i did see the flicker of a lighter. Anyway it was enough for me lose the interest in the everyday things, as they seems so "unreal"... sometimes, like you, i also wish to come back to when i was ignorant (and was happy being so)... sometimes i long for the enlightenment... so, as you can see, im very confused too.

The only advice i can give is for you learn to meditate. Doing so you will be able to come back to the enlightened state, and it will be easier to make your choices rightly.

[imitator]

YOUR RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS NIRVANA I FELT! I JUST LOOKED IT UP -

"There is that dimension where there is neither earth, nor water, nor fire, nor wind; neither dimension of the infinitude of space, nor dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, nor dimension of nothingness, nor dimension of neither perception nor non-perception; neither this world, nor the next world, nor sun, nor moon. And there, I say, there is neither coming, nor going, nor stasis; neither passing away nor arising: without stance, without foundation, without support [mental object]. This, just this, is the end of stress."

One of the main tenants of acheiving nirvana is that if you can realize you have acheived nirvana, then you havent.

Alot of people, although not neccessarily yourself, view nirvana as an equivalent to the christian heaven, but it isnt. There is actually a heaven and hell in buddhism, but they are not the same as the christian realms, in many ways. Anyways..

It sounds like you caught a glimpse of something though, and no matter what it is, it has changed you, and given you a chance to change. It isnt often that people are shown a hidden path that they normally would have never seen, but you have been shown, and its up to you to see if you really have the courage to walk it til its end. I think you would find that the path would meet back up with where you were walking before, but have given you much more along the way.

My only advice, coming from personal experience, is to walk at your own pace, so to speak. What you caught a glimpse of, it could burn you like the sun if you get to close too fast, its best to live into the experience, let it come and go as it pleases, and become familar with it, without forcing it. I found meditation made things worse for me, if my goal was to reach that state again.

Enjoy your gift, it is an amazing one. Take the time to explore it and everything it brings to you as much as possible. Id just say that slow and steady is better then quick as possible.

And as always, ymmv on things as complicated as this. :thumbsup:

[wickerbill]

Hi Psycho, I am not in anyway qualified to advise you, but the subect is compelling so I couln't resist. I have read that dreams usually have a totally different meaning than what seems obvious to the dreamer. For example: a dream about death could interpret as the ending of something and the beginning of something else.:D LaZ, interesting avatar:thumbsup:

[imitator]

I need someone to talk to...Maybe someone Buddhist, Maybe the way I could tell my parents is by writing a letter to them. I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't understand and be very confused with me. I'm not even that close with my parents. I don't ever really talk to them unless I need something and now looking at my relationships with each of my family members it brings me a sadness....I don't know if I can live like this I really need help....I need help.......now im crying.......my life is changing so fast and I feel so lost, alone and confused....

There is a mantra, a chant that I like to repeat when I find myself in situations such as that. It helps calm me, and makes things seem less hectic when everything around me seems to be changing or falling apart...


I have arrived, I am home
In the here, In the now
I am solid, I am free
In the ultimate, I dwell



Since you have such an interest in Buddhism, you may want to take some time to study, or at least look into the Four Noble Truths. They, especially in times such as this for you, will be of great help.


1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.


I suggest taking the time to try to find your own understanding of what these truths mean, and then, after you have figured out what they mean to you, take the time to learn about them online or whatnot. See how your interpretation compares with what others say.

As a note, the fourth noble truth is a link to The Noble Eightfold Path.


1. Right View
2. Right Intention
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfullness
8. Right Concentration


If you get time, try to consider the Eightfold path as well, find your meaning in it as well.

If you believe that the experience you felt was somethign related to Buddhism, then take the time to try to understand the religion and what it teaches.

Dont take little quotes and look at them and see if they work for you. Thats the same as taking the lettuce from a sandwich, and because you like the lettuce, assuming that you like the entire sandwich. Buddhism is a religion that has tenants that are simple and understandable as a standalone, but the real meaning behind everything is interlaced with many other things. The kind of situation where you can "understand" something, but not truely understand something.

Before you is a religion that is simple, yet complex, with lessons that are simple, yet very complex. Take the time to learn about it, and even if its not for you, even if it gives you no answers and doesnt help you at all with what you were looking for help with... you will be more learned, and likely better off for the experience.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I am by no means an expert on the religion, but I can answer what I can, and find answers for you on anything else. :jointsmile:

[DebuteMachine23]

Psychiactive420, how old are you? Just curious.

Also, death isn't really a bad thing at all. Your dream was bad, becuase you got killed. But death is nothing to be scared of. Trust me, once you reach a certain age.. you are going to WISH you were dead once or twice.

[Psychoactive420]

9/13/07

My thoughts today - I still feel so uninterested in everything at my school...I'm looking at this world... It seems so corrupted...at the beginning of time this world was pure of all evil then somehow mankind corrupted it. So much over time it has brought civilization where it is today.... I just wish I could live a normal life like everyone else...It seems like thats impossible...something that did comfort me that I thought of today...everybody dies and theirs nothing you can do about it. It's like from the movie "the matrix" and you were shown what the matrix was and how you've been living a lie for your whole life then you were kicked back out into your fake world...

[Psychoactive420]

9/16/07 - One of the best experiences in my life happened today after some meditation.... I have been in some great suffering the last few weeks about finding religion and all - being very confused but I now realize that The best religion is the religion that brings you closest to God we we should all try to find that no matter what it is. I've also come to terms with death and that is is not the end and merely a doorway. I also now realize what Jesus was put on earth for. He was put here for the reason of teaching humans how to interact with each other in a loving peaceful way. I now realize that one of my missions in life will be to better conserve the planet of it's natural resources and we should all find ways in not to pollute the earth. I realize that technology is not a bad thing but we can use it as something to better conserve the planet with - It is only a matter of time when humans come to this realization - until then we should all try to do as much as we can in achieving this. I feel great now thank you all for your help and support :)

[Coelho]

Man... i am very happy knowing that you are finding your way. Your realization about religions is very true... in fact, the meaning of religion is (or rather, was) exactly bring people to God. Many religions were corrupted, but that was the original meaning of they.
Concerning Jesus, i have a very personal opinion, maybe right, maybe wrong. But think about. I think people only can love when they know what is love, how it feels to love, and for it, they first must feel how is to be loved. I think nobody can love if they dont "learned" or "felt" what love is like. So, Jesus come to this earth and died for us, loving us in the greatest conceivable way. And then, when we feel the love He showed for us, we can love the another people.
Anyway, again, i wish the best for you. And im much more relieved knowing that you are having this realizations, that will light your way.
So, good luck, and keep shining! :thumbsup:

BTW, you see as meditation helps a lot... you said that your family is catholic... well... my aunt is a very devout catholic also, and she went to an "workshop" for How to Pray in an Efficient Way, How to Enter in Contact with God, and such. She showed me the techniques she learned, and it was almost identical to the techniques of meditation used by buddhist, and such. It seems the priest who did write the book just translated oriental texts of meditation to a catholic language... but the essencial is absolutely the same... so, meditating, praying, whatever, are just different names for entering in contact with God.
If i can find some information about it in the net, i will post the link for you. Maybe it will help you with your parents.

[Coelho]

Well... i coulndt find much... anyway, the author of the books is Ignacio Larranaga, and he is well known. I dont think it will be much help for you to read his books, as you already "saw" by yourself, but it would be a good thing to show to your parents, and maybe help them to try achieve enlightenment, even being Catholics.

[Psychoactive420]

Man... i am very happy knowing that you are finding your way. Your realization about religions is very true... in fact, the meaning of religion is (or rather, was) exactly bring people to God. Many religions were corrupted, but that was the original meaning of they.
Concerning Jesus, i have a very personal opinion, maybe right, maybe wrong. But think about. I think people only can love when they know what is love, how it feels to love, and for it, they first must feel how is to be loved. I think nobody can love if they dont "learned" or "felt" what love is like. So, Jesus come to this earth and died for us, loving us in the greatest conceivable way. And then, when we feel the love He showed for us, we can love the another people.
Anyway, again, i wish the best for you. And im much more relieved knowing that you are having this realizations, that will light your way.
So, good luck, and keep shining! :thumbsup:

BTW, you see as meditation helps a lot... you said that your family is catholic... well... my aunt is a very devout catholic also, and she went to an "workshop" for How to Pray in an Efficient Way, How to Enter in Contact with God, and such. She showed me the techniques she learned, and it was almost identical to the techniques of meditation used by buddhist, and such. It seems the priest who did write the book just translated oriental texts of meditation to a catholic language... but the essencial is absolutely the same... so, meditating, praying, whatever, are just different names for entering in contact with God.
If i can find some information about it in the net, i will post the link for you. Maybe it will help you with your parents.

Thank you very much coelho, your posts have been extremely helpful to me over the past week or so, you have helped me through some of my roughest days with your understanding and compassion on my situation. I can recall some mornings where I would wake up feeling confused and lost and then I would think about what I read in your posts the previous night and it comforted me knowing there was someone else out there that cared, and could relate and sympathize with my situation. I don't know If I could come to my realization without your help and I truly thank you for that. God Bless! :):):)

[greenhorngrower]

In my opinion it is useless to try and understand god. I believe god is the creator of this great universe and anything beyond.. but I also believe that nature has placed those concepts beyond the reach of my feeble conciousness. Its like a fish trying to understand the water in wich it swims.

I think we have a god-like ability to shape our realities and our lives and the way we see things. But I dont think I'll ever fully understand god, or this amazing thing that I am concious to.

Tripping on LSD or mushrooms was a very eye opening experience for me... amazing yet sometimes a bit scary (I'll admit to being somewhat afraid of the unknown).

I think in life people need to learn that it is impossible to hold on to anything, we need to learn how to let go.. only then will we no longer know fear.

Isnt this place so strange and marvelous though.. sometimes i feel like touching everything i see, amazed by my own perceptual abilities.. this place is truly a work of art at the grandest of scales.. If we fully understood it.. we would probably just be creating such works of our own.

[Coelho]

Pshychoactive420, if what you feel because you reached the knowledge of the real nature of the things is so bad as i think it is, its my duty make the best for helping you... im passing through the same things, but in a much smaller scale. I didnt had any illumination, but, slowly, im realizing the emptyness of the everyday things, the void of everything, and its very sad. Its like everything you loved and liked is fading, like images of a dream which fades into nothing as you awakes... if is that what you feel, than i understand you... and if i can do anything for help it, i hope to do. I didnt thought my posts here would help you so much... anyway, it makes me happy to know that i am being of some help to you. Soon you will discover (if you dont know already) that helping other people is one of the shortest ways to happiness... its a paradox... as more happiness you give to other people, more happiness is left with you... So, the best way for enjoying the gift you recieved is to share it with another people... you did see the light... now, shine this light upon another people, help them, and you will be very well rewarded...
Best wishes to you, my brother! :thumbsup:

PS. Stonger psychedelics really are a door to the "other world"... if i dont be enlightened by chance, i hope some day use some of them, and reach the light.

[angry nomad]

I think religion can help people experience God sometimes, but more often than not confuses people, and gets in the way on their spiritual journey.

Your idea of the afterlife as a feeling which is the same feeling as before you were born does not fit well with mainstream Christianity's idea of the afterlife. That idea is more similar to Mormonism, Buddhism, or Hinduism.

I remember as a young child I constantly asked where I was before I was born. She would always tell me, "nowhere." I didn't accept that answer. I didn't like it, and it didn't make sense to me. I always felt like I was somewhere before I was born.

I believe the story of Jesus to be a parable, as a way to stand up against injustice, hypocrisy, and treat everyone equally. I disbelieve the Bible, not because it speaks of the fantastic as fact, but because Jesus said we would do greater things than he. I was a Xhristan for 25 years or so, even believed it, I really did. But, I have never witnessed a true miracle. If the God of the Bible were real, then all Christians could heal amputees. There would be no more sick people, because the Christians would walk around healing people. I wanted to heal people, I really did. Just so they would feel better. I would pray for sick people, and they would get better on their own, or die.

I actually prayed to God for my friend to be raised from the dead. He stayed dead. I never told anyone, because I thought I just needed more faith. What other reason could it be?

So, my point is, the Bible contradicts itself. Jesus said we would do greater things than he, and we are not walking around just doing miracles randomly, therefore Jesus lied, so the Bible isn't true.

But, that is all what I believe. If a certain religion gets you closer to God, more power to you. Yes, there were times at church where I felt close to God. But, you know the times when I have felt closest to God? They were not at church, they were not when I was praying, reading my Bible, nor listening to Christian music. The times I felt closest to God, was always in the rainforest. Alone. Also visiting the volcano in Hawai'i was a very intense spiritual experience.

I think we go somewhere when we die, and that is the same place we are before we are born. It is Nowhere, but Nowhere is Here, too.

[maryjaNe_]

I think religion can help people experience God sometimes, but more often than not confuses people, and gets in the way on their spiritual journey.

Your idea of the afterlife as a feeling which is the same feeling as before you were born does not fit well with mainstream Christianity's idea of the afterlife. That idea is more similar to Mormonism, Buddhism, or Hinduism.

I remember as a young child I constantly asked where I was before I was born. She would always tell me, "nowhere." I didn't accept that answer. I didn't like it, and it didn't make sense to me. I always felt like I was somewhere before I was born.

I believe the story of Jesus to be a parable, as a way to stand up against injustice, hypocrisy, and treat everyone equally. I disbelieve the Bible, not because it speaks of the fantastic as fact, but because Jesus said we would do greater things than he. I was a Xhristan for 25 years or so, even believed it, I really did. But, I have never witnessed a true miracle. If the God of the Bible were real, then all Christians could heal amputees. There would be no more sick people, because the Christians would walk around healing people. I wanted to heal people, I really did. Just so they would feel better. I would pray for sick people, and they would get better on their own, or die.

I actually prayed to God for my friend to be raised from the dead. He stayed dead. I never told anyone, because I thought I just needed more faith. What other reason could it be?

So, my point is, the Bible contradicts itself. Jesus said we would do greater things than he, and we are not walking around just doing miracles randomly, therefore Jesus lied, so the Bible isn't true.

But, that is all what I believe. If a certain religion gets you closer to God, more power to you. Yes, there were times at church where I felt close to God. But, you know the times when I have felt closest to God? They were not at church, they were not when I was praying, reading my Bible, nor listening to Christian music. The times I felt closest to God, was always in the rainforest. Alone. Also visiting the volcano in Hawai'i was a very intense spiritual experience.

I think we go somewhere when we die, and that is the same place we are before we are born. It is Nowhere, but Nowhere is Here, too.

Stole the words out of my mouth. The closest i have felt to god is not in church.. yet out in nature.. where the world is most beautiful.

[Canadian_Cron]

thats crazy! i though i was the only 1... lately ive been having really powerful dreams too and have had the off and on throughout my life and its wierd cause i usually never dream.


im my dream am another person and i keep wakeing up in bed (but not mine) and leaving my room finding that i am in the same house each time and i know where everything is in the house like whats in each room how big the house is etc... the wierdest thing is the whole time im completely aware that i am dreaming but cant wake up or move in my bed its like im paralized. its sooo intense.

i feel like im crazy that this stuff is happening....

PS. i wasnt under the influence of any drug at the time and have not experimented with anything crazy, just the green stuff.

[Professor Albatross]

It's good to hear you're feeling better spiritually. While reading your initial post I thought immediately of a lecture by Alan Watts that I have on my computer. I think it could shed light on the Buddhist veiw of Life and Death, which when Watts states it in his own words, gives me great comfort in moments of existential crisis. If you have any interest I would be happy to send it to you.

[OnionsOfLove]

youre definitely not insane. it sounds like youve gained an understanding of something that you had no prior concept of. its a long journey along a long path, and it sounds like you took the first step in your dream.

considering that you had no prior concept of this understanding, you have to admit that there may be other things existing outside of your bubble of experience just like this thing was. the goal is to experience more of these things so that you can gain more personal understanding of the nature of yourself.



I found this on this on a website - I kind of feel the same way... I think that since I have experienced nirvana or "enlightenment" I should try to help people try to find it themselves...

if enlightenment is an apple orchard, you might have tasted the juice of a single apple or even taken a few bites. now you say you want to share the apple's juice with others, but you havent found the tree yet. and even if you found the tree, would you know how to pick an apple? and if you start picking these apples, would you know how to water the orchard in order to make sure they keep growing?

[yokinazu]

ive seen a couple people here state they feal closest to god while in a rain forest or on a mountain or just expeirincing nature. thats because you are closer to "god".
humans are animals just like birds , fish , reptiles etc. god and religions are creations of man not an all knowng supreme being. we come from the natural world. we are born the same way as all mammals. we dont just magicly appear so therefore we are the same as all mammals. all creatures big and small have the same feeling to a lesser or greater degree. example is elephants morn there dead.
the point is we were not put here to build cities or churches we were put here to live. nothing more nothing less. there is no god there is no religion only nature. thats why when you leave the artificial world and return to nature you feal closer to god.
religion and god are concepts use to control people. for example look at the middle ages and the catholic church by enforcing the rule of god they controled everything.

[donteventrip]

whats up .

ive been reading this post and i found myself in the same situation as Psychoactive420.
i had a dream and in the dream i died.. in fact ive had a lot of these dreams. i really never thaught much of them i just been scared shitless for a few days after the dreams. i, like alot of you, have accepted the fact that ima die..thats the way of life. but in some ways these dreams still scare me. my life right now is very basic. lets just say im a professional athele and all i do is train eat sleep. i like to think that im am very stress-free. the last dream i had that i died in has had me very scared. i recently had some salvia(not to sure if thats a good thing) and it really opened up my mind. i find myself in the same situation as Psychoactive420 because i feel alone and cant talk to many people about this cause there gonna think im a wierdo or whatever. im a normal guy livin life to its fullest...
so i ask this.
am i in a state of depression? is that the reason why i am having these dreams. or is it so called nirvana as many people put it.? i also cant sleep at night..i think i have a case of insomnia...
u guys have put up some great ref. sites and books for me to read up on.
and for that i thank you =]

[Dream of the iris]

If you say you "think" you've tasted enlightenment, then you have not. Being "enlightened" is really simple. It's simply stepping back into the Void or "god" and remaining there. It's not complex at all, not the least bit insane, but very hard for most people to grasp or even experience. If you truly experience enlightenment, then your whole life will change, including personality.

[TheGreenBuddy]

Lucid dreaming... or maybe something spirtual.


Everyones unique ;)

[Dream of the iris]

whats up .


am i in a state of depression? is that the reason why i am having these dreams. or is it so called nirvana as many people put it.? i also cant sleep at night..i think i have a case of insomnia...
u guys have put up some great ref. sites and books for me to read up on.
and for that i thank you =]

You haven't given enough info about your situation. It sounds like your just scared of your dreams, which is stupid to be scared of. And you're not in nirvana. You wouldn't be scared if you were in that state.

[TryptamineScape]

I had a time in my life when I experienced something like that. I experienced the waves, the confusion of death. I concluded it was all related to dopamine, smoked more weed, used some various other natural drugs and voila! magically I'm fixed.

[JD1stTimer]

I think it was just part of growing up.. those kinds of realizations can throw you into a funky state. The trick is to realize where to channel it... now you know that whatever your goals are in life, you've got to FINISH THEM before you DIE. It's unsettling at first, but I think you will grow into it and it will become pleasant knowing that there's so much you have to do and not much time to do it in.. like when you're at the amusement park and it's closing in a few hours and you have to pick the next two or three rides you want to go on. WHEEEEEEE!!

[modest moon]

i found this book rather enlightening. it certainly opened up a lot of ideas to me when I was going through a stage of questioning with my own spirituality, give it a read and you might find yourself looking at things in a different light.
:pipe:
Amazon.com: Many Lives, Many Masters (http://www.amazon.com/Many-Lives-Masters-Prominent-Psychiatrist/dp/0671657860)