Err...dunno?

[RESiNATE]

Hi everyone!


I haven't been about for a while, and this is due to the fact that I am slowly slipping into the realms of poverty and depression.
I just smashed my mobile phone up because I was annoyed at the bank-robot-telephone-thingy telling me that I have no money.
I have no job either, because work has been so lax lately, that I can no longer afford to put petrol in my car...and besides that, it has no MOT...and the cam-belt is in imminent danger of snapping (Ford's after-sales policy).
I shouldn't have thrown the phone at the wall, I spose...but hey, stress relief is sometimes costly..never mind, it was only a crappy Nokia 5210 (so much for the 'robust shock absorbent cover')...
I've also done something to my back, and find it impossible to find a comfortable position to lie in/sit in/stand in...which is why I am still up at 3:30am.
I'm quite a sight to watch hahaha

Anyways, the ISP has reconnected me (for the time being), but I guess it will be a short-lived thing...at least until the end of this month, I guess...

So...how's eveyone else?

[poorman3]

hey resinate, sorry to hear about your back man. fords suck anyway. i`ll probably catch hell for that from someone but, i`m talking to you not them. phones suck too. unless you need one. lol. i`m o.k. don`t worry about work. it will drive you insane. peace.

[geoffrowley19]

chin up

[RESiNATE]

Yeah, phones suck lol
Especially when you get a call from your ex-wife telling you that your son isn't doing as he's told - she wanted me to talk to him and tell him off..cuh! Stupid woman!
Or, you get a call from your parents trying to give you a pep-talk about how you've got to 'get out there and find a job and stop sitting on your ass feeling sorry for yourself' - this is true, of course, but how many times has a person got to re-invent themselves and 'pick themselves up'?
I've lost count, and quite frankly I'm tired of doing it...what's the point?
Everytime I think I've got myself sorted out, something comes along and slaps me back on my ass again.....and again.....and again...*yawns*

Then you try and watch a bit of TV....
Is everyone on this planet thick as shit?
Can they not see what this world has become?
Do they not realise all the bull-shit that is thrown about by those in power?
Terrorism?
Bollocks more like!

The only reason I don't smash the TV up is because I need it for the PS2!

Is everybody's house painted in neutral colours?
Are we really interested in watching dumb-ass people try to relocate to Spain, to set up a bar, when they clearly have absolutely no idea what-so-ever about what is involved in such a thing?
Why are antiques such a hot-bed of excitement?
We watch as people get their junk valued by some toffee-nosed, hoity-toity dip-shit, who spouts off a load of uninteresting bollocks about the history of a thimble, then look at the thinly disguised disappointment of the vendor, as he's told it is worth thrupence-ha'penny...."I bought it in a car-boot sale for £200!"

Then there's the news!
Mass-hysteria, propogated by government owned organisations (BBC), that claim to give unbiased coverage...yeah,,,,righto

We got reality TV shows coming out of our ears - boring crap!
Who wants to watch the pre-edited antics of a few washed up 'celebrities' bitching eachother up?
If they aint in a stupid pre-fab house in London, then they're in a jungle, eating bugs and shit!

Or, there is the option of mind-numbing soap operas...:rolleyes:
Farmhands shagging eachothers wives, or barrow-boys grimacing at their neighbours and threatening to beat them up, or Northeners spending 85% of everyday in the pub supping ale.....

And everything is sponsored by STERIDENT - that's a false teeth cleaner...
"DENTISTRY IN THE SHETLANDS....sponsored by STERIDENT, the No.1 false teeth cleaner"
:rolleyes:

And then, you'll invariably get a chance to win £1000 in cash!
All you have to do is answer this simple question:
If your house was on fire, who would you call?
A - the speaking clock
B - British Rail Timetable Enquiries
C - A fireman

Then, if you're really lucky, they'll give you a little clue....
CLUE: you might rearrange the words "man", and "fire", to get the right answer....

It's at times like this that I'm glad I don't have a shot-gun to hand...I wouldn't be able to decide whether to shoot the TV, or myself!

Then there's the Council....
They've decided, in their infinite wisdom, to only collect the rubbish (trash) once a fortnight now!
Why?
We'll be getting a council tax rebate then, will we?............will we my arse!
I pay nearly £1000 a year to the council, so that they can keep my locality in good condition....
Which, apart from having to walk past overflowing wheelie-bins, look at obscene graffiti, put up with a crumbling health service, an inadequate and mis-managed education system, an almost non-existent public transport service, and crappy roads and pathways...they do...sort of :confused:

And don't even mention the Police...
Whilst old folk are mugged, women are raped, children are molested and abused...the Police can hold their head up high and say "Ah yes...but, we've caught a bloke for driving at 5mph OVER that speed limit today...we had to sit for nearly 4hours, behind a bush, but eventually..we got him!"

Cool.

Well done.
I feel sooo much better now that I know that that awful driver is no longer terrorising that stretch of ridiculously wide, empty, straight road.....

BTW....cos I'm so broke, I haven't had a roll-up since this afternoon, so I may seem a little ...errr....what's the word?.....tense...I've already checked the ashtray (I've got the ashy lips to prove it!)...

Apart from that, everything is fine....

really

[poorman3]

damn res, how much do those think-tanks pay? look in to it. don`t sign a life long contract though.

[RESiNATE]

I dunno...

That would be cool, wouldn't it!
Working at a think-tank....:rolleyes:......

"Hey Res, whatcha thinking about, dude?"
"I was wondering how I could recoup my loses from the recent purchase of this thimble...."

Yeah...cool...I wonder how they work.....

"Ok people, yesterday we had to think about how to get this square peg into this round hole. Well done Smithers, for coming up with the idea of using a jack-hammer."
*applause*
"Today, we have a much more important thing to think about....can anyone guess?"
*everyone starts thinking and scribbling on note-pads*

<time passes to the next day>

"Ok everyone, yesterday I asked you all to think about what it was we might have had to think about today, only I asked you yesterday, which makes it tomorrow, if we are in the timeframe of yesterday, which would have been today, but is now yesterday, or tomorrow, today, yesterday....what?....Yesterday was today, but is now yesterday because we are in tomorrow, if we are viewing today from yesterday, making tomorrow today, and today yesterday...did anyone guess?"
*silence*
Res puts hand up
"Are we supposed to think about something that is worth thinking about, or are we just wasting our goddamn time?"
"An intersting point, Res..I'll have to think about it...."

[poorman3]

sorry i asked.

[az666]

shit res sounds like you got it hard :(
i truly hope things start lookin up for you soon.
lmfao at
Is everybody's house painted in neutral colours?

Farmhands shagging eachothers wives, or barrow-boys grimacing at their neighbours and threatening to beat them up and everything you wrote afta that....lol
LMFAO sooo true
Tv really does suck

[az666]

i noticed u hadnt been on for a while...a few people havent like hhj and....thats all i can think of at the mo... y havent u been on??

[dog420]

Hey res i thought there was sumtimg missing on these boards! sry to hear ya living in the downs atm,,,if its any help i can send you a new phone? lol
Well ill be toking this j to you m8

Peace....dont worry,,,be HAPPY!!...?

[maryjanemama]

Res, I'm so glad that you're back! You've been sorely missed! I'm sorry to hear about your troubles...I wish there was something I could do to help. I guess all I can say is, you have a lot of friends here whenever you need to talk, Res. :)

[RESiNATE]

Yo AZ and Dog!

AZ: I aint been on because BT cut me off - with no prior warning! It was like waking up one day and finding that someone had taken one's leg away *sobs*

Dog: Thanks dude, but I've got a spare phone (Samsung A300)..it'll do until I get a replacement...I got insurance, see ;) - I like your sig, dude...it's twisted lol...I like it!

Well, I musta had a paycheck paid in because I was able to draw £40 from the hole! YAY! I just bought some baccy! YAY! And I'm getting a nicotine head-rush! YAY!

Back to the subject of TV...
There seems to be alot of US 'reality/competition' programmes on lately!
Like, "Renovate My Family".
This is where a family gets a house built for them and has some relationship guidance.
I quite like the idea, however, these programmes seem to be edited for dramatisism...lol...I especially like the way that the family puts great enthusiasm into their moments of shock :D There was this kid, the other day, who really put some effort into dropping his jaw lmfao...I'm surprised that he didn't dislocate it!
Or there's one about these guys who have to act like women...sheesh!
You got these muscle-bound guys, dressed in frocks, trying to look like ladies. WTF!
One of these guys had no neck!
"Hi, I'm Wynona", he says in a deep gruff voice....

[NowhereMan]

'It's at times like this that I'm glad I don't have a shot-gun to hand...I wouldn't be able to decide whether to shoot the TV, or myself! "

i find that insanely funny

but i will just tell ya str8 up i

if you think you got it bad it could be worse
just think what if you was a conjioned twin
and your attached gay brother had a date tonight
and where you was connected
you shared the same asshole

[apsinthion]

Welcome back Res!

I was wondering where you got to but I figured out that it was most likely something to do with money. :D

Tv is sooooooo F'n lame eh. Let's throw away all these crappy modern inventions and go hotbox a cave somewhere! :D

If you need any cheap baccy just give me a shout. ;)

[RESiNATE]

Cheers guys

Yups, it's good to be back...I missed you guys too.
I've felt so isolated and lonely *sobs*

Will prolly only be back until the end of the month, unless I can get sorted by then...you never know...
being outof work sucks :mad:

lol

[Lulu]

Welcome back Res xxxx :)

[F L E S H]

Hey Res, good to see you again :D

God knows how many times I've wanted to bash my head in my television, thus getting two birds with one stone : I'm no longer alive to see most of the crap on TV, and the TV's busted so it can't infect others with its crap lol :D

But hey, I try to watch TV only when I'm stoned, so it dampens my psychopathic urges somewhat :D

[RESiNATE]

Yay...hello Lulu :) ... I dunno how long I'll be back, but it's good to be back

Yo F L E S H...I try to watch everything stoned too - it makes it more believable...kinda :confused:

[Lulu]

Yay...hello Lulu :) ... I dunno how long I'll be back, but it's good to be back

Turn on your Yahoo, I wanna tell ye summit..

[GHoSToKeR]

Hey RES, you tall person, you :)

Throw away your television
Time to make this clean decision
Master waits for it's collision now
It's a repeat of a story told
It's a repeat and it's getting old

Throw away your television
Make a break big intermission
Recreate your super vision now
It's a repeat of a story told
It's a repeat and it's getting old

[Chorus:]
Renegades with fancy gauges
Slay the plague for it's contagious
Pull the plug and take the stages
Throw away your television now

Throw away your television
Take the noose off your ambition
Reinvent your intuition now
It's a repeat of a story told
It's a repeat and it's getting old

[Chorus]

Throw away your television
Salivate to repetition
Levitate this ill condition now
It's a repeat

[Stoned Scouser]

hey res i feel bad 4 ya man... i aint doin 2 gud either bud... i got busted man... 7 ounces of top quality dutch skunk, 2 ounces of purple haze, a few ounces of rocky, me scales, tick lists, an all me cash... fuckin corrupt cunts only sent £240 as evidence an pocketed the rest... I'm well over £2,000 down now, i'm jobless an in debt £300 2 me mum who had 2 bail me out what i owed sum geezer i was gettin green off. Even b4 this i was depressed myself m8 on anti-depresants an goin 2 counsellin etc. but now shit's hit the fan things r well worse! I'v had 2 stop smokin aswel so it looks like im makin an effort 4 the court... i'm 10 dayz clean 2day an its hard as fuck!!! I keep loosin my temper aswel i smashed my keyboard up th other day an me nuckles r covers in bruises! Life is jus' shit but u gotta keep ya head up (so i'm told lol)... anywayz i hope fings pick up 4 ya!

[RESiNATE]

Wow Scouser, thats, like, mega-bummer dude! :eek:
Shit!

Yups, know about the random acts of violent frustration, man...there's one less Nokia 5310 in the world...not necessarily a bad thing...

It is during these times that a man needs to be philosophical - introspective, reflecting upon those things that cause us anguish.


And the sacrifice of inanimate objects...on occasion.

[Stoned Scouser]

thats exactly y am bk on here man... ur the most philosphical guy ever.... jus look how many big words u used in that last post lol

[RESiNATE]

lol...philosophical, maybe ... big words, definately.

lol

The worst part about the last few days has been mainly due to the fact that I couldn't get on-line...even in times of no weed, no money, and no direction, this place seems to be able to make things more managable...even if it only serves as a way of getting stuff off yer chest.

Now I'm back (briefly though it will be) I have an avenue to vent and talk to people who are going through the same kind of shitty existence.

I guess that weed opens a persons mind...and with it, the realisation of how fucked up this planet is.

It's a ying-yang thang, dude lol

One the one hand you see the world in a new light - nature becomes awesome and respectable, thought become deeper and more encompassing, and understanding and awareness is of a level that was beyond our comprehension. A good thing.

Conversely, we see the inadequacies of the ways in which the world works, the injustices that are committed against our fellow man and the planet in which we reside, and a sense of isolation and lonelyness from the majority. A depressive thing.

The futility that we feel is the thing that overwhelms us.
We seek the effects of our beloved plant - not for answers or solutions, but for a way to dull the pain and frustration.

Someone once said that I smoke weed to escape from my reality.
They are wrong.
I do not smoke to escape from reality - I smoke to survive reality.

I often wonder who I would be if I hadn't discovered cannabis...
I sometimes ask myself if I would be a happier person...

But then I realise...the answer would be "No".

Why?

Because I think I am glad that I see my life for what it really is.
I may not like everything about it...some of it drives me insane...some of it makes me wish I was dead...

Even though I have gained an awareness that causes me pain and sadness...
...I have the knowledge that I am not alone...

I have also gained membership into a community of people that constanly remind me that not all humans are selfish, ego-driven, greedy bastards...

I am rich beyond my wildest dreams.

Res...

[Stoned Scouser]

i couln't hav said it better myself... quite litterally!!! i completely agree with everything u hav just said... these r all the things i hav b'n discussin with my counsellor (however, not with such a good use of the english language lol) i often think that smokin weed has definately opened my mind... far more than the 'average' people i know... in this comunity as u rightly say we r not alone!
these past few weeks i hav seriously considered suicide myself as i want to be dead like u sed. but having this ability to open my mind and see the bigger picture has saved my life... b'n able 2 realise how insignificant my life is on a universal scale has kept me going i think!
they say that ignorance is bliss... i dont agree, although things r bad in both of our lives i also am extremely ' glad that i see my life for what it really is .' and i feel sorry for ppl who r sooo wrapped up in their own little world they completely miss whats in front of them... this might b going slight over the top but its almost like we are more evolved human beings (no more arguing over evolution btw lol!)
the situation we r in is most definately a gift an a curse... ur right we should be thankful 4 the 'good thing'... i know 4 a fact the only reason i write songs is because i am able to think far more deeply than 'normal' ppl... and learn to deal with the 'depressive thing'... i.e the weight we carry round with us about the 'injustice' in this 'fucked up world'!
U really should consider writin a book or something yano res ur understanding of life and the way u can express it into words is unreal... i hav the same thoughts but can only put them 2 music... thats probably y u wont understand any of this msg lol

michael

[RESiNATE]

You shouldn't sell yourself so short, Scouser..you make perfect sense.

I use 'poetry' to examine myself and my world, whereas you use lyrics - same thing, except mine might be a dialogue over the top of a tune, and yours would be the essence of a tune.

I have often thought about writing a book, but I wouldn't know where to start.
You see, I'm the sort of person that adds to a discussion - I hear what others say, think about it, then offer an opinion based on my experiences and understandings.

Plus, I am learning all the time...my perceptions change, my ideals reform, and new-found knowledge opens more avenues.

A wise man doesn't know it all - answers ask more questions.

A sample of darkness...

What Happened To My Dreams?


When I was a child, I used to dream that I could fly.
I would run as fast as I could, jump forward with my arms outstretched, and soar upwards into the sky. The wind would rush into my face, as I flew alongside migrating swans; in awe of their beauty and humbled by their presence. Sometimes I would dance amongst the chimneys, ducking and swooping like a mad thing, revelling in my exhilaration. Mostly I would chase the sun, flitting through clouds leaving the oncoming darkness far behind.

I am older now, and can no longer fly.
My feet are made of lead, each step harder to take than the last. My body weighted down with sadness and pain, as I trudge wearily along the torturous corridor of life. I look to the menacing dark skies above, searching in vain for the blue skies of my youth.
Where are my wings?
How can I escape this nightmare world?

When I was a child, I used to dream that I was a hero.
I would don my special outfit, and march purposefully into the jaws of danger. Nothing could stop me in my quest to defend the oppressed and weak. I would use my powers against the evil ones, and stand resolute before the monsters that sought to harm me. The people would revere me, chanting my name from the highest peaks; "Our hero!" they would cry. No one could hurt me now - I was invincible.

I am older now, and have lost the will to fight.
My powers have faded to nothing, and weakness overwhelms me. The monsters chase me, and the evil ones laugh mockingly at me. I flee their haunting sounds and threats of harm, stumbling forwards blinded by tears of fear. I look for the source of strength, searching in vain for my fighting spirit.
Where is my hero?
Who can save me from this nightmare world?

When I was a child, I used to dream that I was a healer of spirit.
I would glide amongst the sad and forlorn, and raise their spirits with a touch, a word, or an understanding nod. The troubles of the world would disappear, as I spread my words of hope and promise. The people would know me as a friend.

I am older now, and my spirit has died.
The promises I thought were true, are but more lies that reveal the true nature of life. My world is one of trouble and sadness, and words can no longer save me. I look for the answers to my questions, searching in vain for understanding.
Where is my spiritual light?
Who can soothe my nightmare wounds?

When I was a child, I used to dream of being older.
I am older now, and search in vain for my childish dreams.

[Stoned Scouser]

hav u thought about a book of of correspondants almost like what these threads r that wud b interestin... wait hold on! did u write ' What happened to my dreams? '

[RESiNATE]

Yeah, I wrote it.....dark times, dude ;)

And full-moons lol

It's all kinda dark...it gets worse...want some more?
:D

[Stoned Scouser]

that is some seriously deep shit man... i'v always been a fan of poetry just recently i'v been readin a book written by one my mum's terminally ill patients ... its called ' Infinity In My Own Body ' she's only 17 man and is dyin of cystic fibrosis, when she was a kid her step father abused her and her mum never believed it and her best friend who also had CF commited suicide as she could not take the pain... i had a hard time just readin it... all the money she makes from the book is goin towards CF aswel... shes a real inspiration!

[Stoned Scouser]

definatly want more! u hav a serious talent man... fuck writin a book, i thought that it was just some poetry u liked at first... its fuckin amazin dude!

[RESiNATE]

lol..you're too kind...but I do profess to like showing off my 'work' lol

See if you can guess my mindstate with this one :rolleyes:

RES IS DEAD

Out of the darkness from whence I resided,
A difficult choice that I have decided,
Of pain that I have caused, and has been done unto me,
No more, I tell you, in this, my decree.

The path to enlightenment, which I thought had been clear,
Prophecy and destiny, theories I had held dear,
Have all turned to rot now, no more than a lie,
The will to continue is ready to die.

The sadness weighs heavy in my faintly beating heart,
No more of this world do I want to be a part,
The last of my days I will spend on my own,
Until Death comes to get me, and the exit be shown.

Do not mourn for me, people, nor pass a fleeting care,
I betrayed the very fabric of the morals I spoke clear,
My spirit is broken, and hope lost forever,
I was just very stupid, when I thought I was clever.

The pedestal that I stood upon lies in tiny little bits,
Smashed into insignificance by my own lack of wits,
How foolish I look now, atop this sorry pile of stone,
Just desserts, I guess, I deserve to be alone.

No longer shall I tarry, in this painful world of Man,
Nor waste any effort on my fruitless, future plan,
My time here is over, the pain so nearly done,
"Well done, 'Higher Being', you've very nearly won!"

I thought that I was part of a complicated plan,
Judged and overseen by a bearded holy man,
Thinking that my efforts would be an asset to my life,
That would somehow contribute to the easing of my strife.

The light almost past, and darkness growing deeper,
Arms outstretched, I embrace the Soul Keeper,
The chill of death feels welcome and complete,
As I succumb to my failings and defeat.

Back to the Darkness of sadness and pain,
The Res Spirit fades, never seen again,
No life flows through the vessel left instead,
There is no doubt, Res is truly dead.


Hmmmm...I remember when I wrote this...it was looking pretty bleak - all of it self-pity...
And yet, it was how I was feeling...self-pity?, no, I look at it as a way of communicating my innermost emotions - I accept my darkness for what it is...a part of me.

Often, creativity flows best when we are at our most self-destructive.
I kinda like my darkness...it helps me to see the good things in the world, you know?

Res...

[Stoned Scouser]

i know exactly... i'm guessin ur mind state was u were sufferin a severe loss of some sort and blaming urself! i'l return the favour... this is a 16 bar verse i wrote when i was very high and jus contemplating the worlds problems

I Reach Number Nine Anâ?? Jusâ?? Keep On Climbinâ??

Realisinâ?? Every Cloud Has A Silver Lininâ??

But Thereâ??s People Dyinâ?? All Across The Globe

So I Get To Rhyminâ?? Every Time Iâ??m Stoned

Sittinâ?? Back With My Sack I Try Anâ?? Invision

Not Hearinâ?? Lies Spoken For Once By Our Politicians

Prime Time BBC1 On Our Televisions

Fakinâ?? Petitions Anâ?? Then Take Their Positions

Youâ??l Break The Opposition Not The Third Eyeâ??s Vision

Coz I Smoke Herbal Remedies With Out A Prescription

Anâ?? With This Composition I Will Conquer By Division

Coz Representinâ?? Britain Is My Goal Anâ?? Soul Ambition

Itâ??s My Only Mission, A Whole-Heartedly Made Decision

Wishinâ?? For A Practical Use For Nuclear Fission

People Are Yearninâ?? For Earninâ?? Off Fossil Fuels

Itâ??s Concerninâ?? What Weâ??re Burninâ??, Us Humans Are Fools

[Stoned Scouser]

Again a fantastic piece of work res, very deep and dark lol... i am curious as to what ur mind state actually was tho ???????? was i close ????????

[RESiNATE]

Ah ha...you are indeed perceptive, dude :)
It was more than a loss...it was the utter destruction of everything that I believed...

And she was a great loss...

Yours is good too...I especially like
"Not Hearinâ?? Lies Spoken For Once By Our Politicians
Prime Time BBC1 On Our Televisions
Fakinâ?? Petitions Anâ?? Then Take Their Positions
Youâ??l Break The Opposition Not The Third Eyeâ??s Vision"

Funny how most people don't see that :rolleyes:

They are told how to live their lives - what to eat - what colours to paint their houses - how to look - how to feel....

Big Brother is a prime example!
The media hype it up so much, that people cannot escape it - they are made to talk about it, to watch it, and care about it...WHY?

It is no longer a psychological examination of human behaviour, but has turned into a freak show of bitchyness - designed to embarrass and humiliate the 'contestants' for the twisted pleasure of the masses..or rather, the media machine.

Why are we still burning fossil fuels?
There are alternatives...but we don't see them because the oil moguls need us to be dependant...we are the addicts - bound and gagged for their needs. Their greed. Our sufferance. The planet's demise.

Why are we still developing more weapons of mass destruction?
Have we not learnt from the past?

And sometimes, you meet someone who shares your views in every way imaginable - complete compatibilty - seeking the same dreams as you...and they let it go...

How did the lyrics go in that song from the 80's?...was it like an answer-phone hook going on in there?...
"It's kinda like winning the lottery, then throwing away the ticket so that you can play again"

:confused:

[Stoned Scouser]

i knew it was a she... didn't want to say incase it brought bk horrible memories tho... at first i thought she might have died then as i read on i was lead to believe, that it was a rough break up like when u say about how the future plans b'n over etc. i'm proud of myself!

yer man big brother sucks these days an' ur right... i dont like it yet i am forced 2 watch it even if i only do so to take the piss out of vile creatures such as marco!

i also lost a girl i loved once... nothin 2 the extent as u did as im stil just 17 but definately when things r bad my creativity really kicks in... its almost like all of thse bad things r happenin to give me something to write about... when liane left i wrote a song 4 her with tears in my eyez, terrible @ the time but lookin bk on it its sum of the best stuff i'v written! again with gettin arrested, then second i got out the cell i got my pen n pad n jus let it all out!

makes me think sometimes am i subconciously creatin problems in my life to fuel my own creativity??

JESUS CHRIST that sounded like somethin u would say... damn i'm learnin fast! haha

[RESiNATE]

lol...yups..you're beginning to understand yourself, dude :)

See, you have to look within yourself, explore every facet of who you are - good and bad...then you can start accepting yourself for who you are.

It aint always a pretty journey, and some of the things you find might even cause deeper pain.
I did this some years back.

Enlightenment can come at a price.
But the rewards can be great also.

Shit happens, my friend, as you well know, hearts are broken and beliefs are shattered.
I used to believe in Destiny - I have since learnt that there is only one destiny...it's how we get there that matters.
And all the while, Fate plays her twisted game...

The count-down starts from the moment we are born - like the fine grains of sands that swirl inexorably toward the domain of lost chances and possibilties.
We cannot stop the flow of their passing, but maybe we can make them twinkle when they land...

In the meantime, I'll keep waiting for the phone call from Morpheus lmfaooooooooo

[BOgart.bitch]

Hi everyone!


I haven't been about for a while, and this is due to the fact that I am slowly slipping into the realms of poverty and depression.
I just smashed my mobile phone up because I was annoyed at the bank-robot-telephone-thingy telling me that I have no money.
I have no job either, because work has been so lax lately, that I can no longer afford to put petrol in my car...and besides that, it has no MOT...and the cam-belt is in imminent danger of snapping (Ford's after-sales policy).
I shouldn't have thrown the phone at the wall, I spose...but hey, stress relief is sometimes costly..never mind, it was only a crappy Nokia 5210 (so much for the 'robust shock absorbent cover')...
I've also done something to my back, and find it impossible to find a comfortable position to lie in/sit in/stand in...which is why I am still up at 3:30am.
I'm quite a sight to watch hahaha

Anyways, the ISP has reconnected me (for the time being), but I guess it will be a short-lived thing...at least until the end of this month, I guess...

So...how's eveyone else?

miss ya around the boards, buddy. im sorry to hear about all of the sadness in your life. if you ever need to talk or anything drop me a line. us smokers have to stick together.

[RESiNATE]

Hey there BOgart ;)..thx babe, it is a passing phase that must be endured :rolleyes:...a necessary thing - how's your butt?
lol

:D

Life, eh?
It is the thing that happens whilst we wait to die...

But you know, I have an uncanny knack of bull-shitting my way around these things - not necessarily solutions, rather an aversion of what's coming to me lol

Hope you're doing good (?)
;)

[RESiNATE]

Because, my spider-sense tells me that you are dark, BOgart...
Mais quoi?

lol...but I am prolly wrong :rolleyes:

lol

[BOgart.bitch]

it is a passing phase that must be endured ...a necessary thing

that's true. i hope you make the pain worth it.. you know.. learn from your mistakes and work toward self improvement..
or something like that. make something good out of the bad, so that the bad will have at least had a purpose.



Life, eh?
It is the thing that happens whilst we wait to die...

so live it up. eh eh. *wink*


But you know, I have an uncanny knack of bull-shitting my way around these things - not necessarily solutions, rather an aversion of what's coming to me

rationalization + denial = a road block on the path to success


Hope you're doing good..Because, my spider-sense tells me that you are dark, BOgart...
Mais quoi?

lol...but I am prolly wrong


mais quoi? is that french? hmm. i have my dark side.. and sometimes it does consume me. i spend most of my life battling the temptation to go back.. or to stay (depending on where i am at the time).. being happy is exhausting.. but i think it pays off. (it better, because if all of this work is for nothing im going to be pissed)...


you cant control the outside interferences in your life.. all of the bills and the conflicts and the drama.. but you can control how you work with what you've been given.

im rambling.

[Dreadmantic]

Wow, I can't read this much when I'm stoned.

[RESiNATE]

Thanks BOgart, you made perfect sense ;)


rationalization + denial = a road block on the path to success
;) - aint it just a bitch! lol

and yes, albeit bad french, I was asking 'but why?'....I probably wrote the french for 'my sloth has swallowed my shoe!', or summat :rolleyes: