I feel so drained and used

[420MissHighTimes420]

I'm sorry for venting about my life on here so much but I have a long work day on the computer, and too much time to think. I feel so used by my boyfriend, I feel like all I do is give give give to everyone, and I am left feeling drained. I've been running on E for alittle while now, and shits about to fall apart. Even though things have been good with us I stll cant help but feel taken advantage of. After sucking his dick, and smoking him up on a blunt, he asks to pinch some of my weed. after the firs ttime he does it agian. This is all after I buy him concert tickets -- which he said he would pay me back for but neevr does. -- he has NEVER taken me out to eat. The one time we ate toegter not at our houses I PAYED! last nite was the last straw though. Not only did i give him head, let him do me any way he wanted, let him smoke 4 of the blunts that I payed and rolled! but then I ask him to eat me out and he says no! I dont kno why him saying no is making me so depressed but it is. The one thing! The one thing i ask for, and he says no! Not only does that make me feel used agian, but it makes me feel ugly and unworthy. i want to go cry about it. i need to end it. but I know no matter what anyone says i wont be strong enough to. how fucked up is that though. then once he finished fucking me in a way that wasnt very comforatble for me, and letting him cum on my face which i dont like at all (it makes me feel degraded) he ate ALL of the food in my apartment. which i cant afford. he said he will buy me more. but i know he wont. :mad: i thougth venting would help me feel better, but im afraid it just confirmed the fact that I'm pathetic.

[Ganj]

Sounds like the same selfish, inconsiderate crap I do. Sure he might be charming and boyishly cute, but he's also a handful and given your current state of exhaustion, you might want to begin looking for someone who is at least going to push their weight, and not take you for granted.

[DarkHairedSativa]

Oh,you are worth so much more...Does he have a job?? If so tell him to buy his own shit....but I know how you feel about the no answer...I get that too at times and t always make me feel like somethings wrong with me.I don't get the thought process going on in their heads...Maybe there is none.But I would seriously tell him how you feel no matter how hard it is and tell him he needs to pay for and eat/smoke his own shit.If he doesn't like it he knows where the door is,if that's his choice,but he might not take the out.Ya never know.There is no way it's going to get better though if you don't say anything....

Good luck sweety!!;)

[Ganj]

You could tell him things like that all you want but it wont sink in until he goes without.

[psteve]

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.

[420MissHighTimes420]

^thanks. I know it's him not me, but I feel like it is me, to the point where it makes me cry. I need to let him go, but I cant and I know I wont.

He has a job! Makes more than me! And lives with his mommy. I live on my own and support myself. so much wrong here.

I also wouldntt mind giving him things and doing things for him, but he isnt even thoguhtful in return. Oral is free! And he slaps me in the face and says NO! When we have been together months and he did it once for about a minute. and i never ask. and i had the balls to, because I keep my thoughts to myself. he makes me feel so ugly.

[Ganj]

I hope I'm not hi-jacking the thread, but don't women have chump-vision? How did you get caught up with this guy in the first place, missy?

[420MissHighTimes420]

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.

how the hell do i get strong enough to do that?
and yes its the same guy from last month, the month before, and the year befor that.

[inbud]

they guy is taking advantage of you.....you see it, yet do nothing...there are many good men out there...finding one is kinda hard with a low self image, you are worth way more, tell yourself that every day till you come to beleive it...he wont pay now..he wont pay ever...and sex should be fun, not something that makes you mad....there are really good men out there......but you got to kiss some frogs i guess to find the prince...good luck.

[Ganj]

You already have the strength. Let mama's boy go already.

[WordUpMuffin]

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.

ummm THANK YOU!

Dump that loser! Esp. if the sex isn't amazing in everyway that he gives it(can you say not worth it?) There is soo much better out there, just waiting for you to dump this guy!

[Spoken Word]

Come on girl. From what I've read from you...it seems like you are strong enough to be single. You don't need guys like that....Guys that use you and don't appreciate you. I used to be like that, when I was 16,17....
it might be lots of things but one thing is for sure... He does not appreciate you.

if i may ask, what does he give you or help you with? does he show any feelings at all?

[FakeBoobsRule]

You need to get out of this relationship and get out of it now. You want to but I hear some fear in your response, fear of the unknown or maybe being alone. Get out now, the longer it goes one, the harder it will be. Set yourself free, there are 3 billion men on this Earth, you will find someone else.

We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how hard we try

He is your sickness and he is sucking the life out of you. You will feel so much better if you do, like you are reborn.

[Storm Crow]

You ARE being used! I want you to take a deep breath and read your post like you never had seen it before! Look at it like it was some other person's post! What would you tell her?

A relationship that is going to work has to have one of two things (a) a 50/50 give and take, combined with respect and shared interests.:thumbsup: Or (b) one person who is willing to be a doormat and the other enough of an ass to keep it that way. :( You have "b".

Now there are three possible courses of action.
(1) Things stay as they are you get more and more depressed (and used) and finally he dumps you for a "less screwed up" chick (and begins the process all over again).
(2) You grab him and tell him exactly how you feel, then base you next moves on his reaction/response.
(3) You put on some feminist music ("Harden my heart" "I will Survive", "I'm a Survivor", etc), smoke a fattie, and kick his arse to the curb! (You could always do a "traditional" "Cherokee divorce", -he comes home to his stuff on the doorstep. Most of the US is part Cherokee:D)

But dear, he is not just using you, he's abusing you. Read up on co-dependence and psychological abuse- try the public library. See if they have an old copy of "Sisterhood is Powerful" by Robin Morgan. You NEED to read that book! It's old, but it's still true! It's mostly articles- but there are a few poems and this one is for you-

For Witches
today I lost my temper
Temper, when one talks of metal
means to make strong
perfect.

Temper, for humans, means angry
irrational
bad

Today I found my temper
I said,
you step on my head
for 27 years you step on my head
and though I have been trained
to excuse you for your inevitable
clumbsiness
today I think
I prefer my head to your clumbsiness

Today I began
to find
myself.



tomorrow
perhaps
I will begin
to find
you.


Susan Sutheim

One of these days, you will "prefer your head" to his selfishness. He seems to be a vampire, a taker, a user, a leech- lots of names for that kind of guy. Stoner dudes are a dime a dozen (sorry guys, but there ARE a lot of you) Stoner gals, however are rare! You should be able to pick and choose, hon! And daaaang, you can do so much better than that self-centered, chauvinistic leech! At least, find a guy who buys his own stash and treats you decent!

Granny:hippy:

[Ganj]

What's he doing with his money? He works but you buy the weed, cook the food, take him out.

[Ganj]

I think you should at least talk to him about how you feel. Tough love might not always get the desired response.

[thcbongman]

If I was her BF, I'd be ashamed and kill myself.

That sounds too pathetic to describe in words. Get a REAL man.

[GraziLovesMary]

If I was her BF, I'd be ashamed and kill myself.

That sounds too pathetic to describe in words. Get a REAL man.

Ditto. If after all that he doesnt eat you out, dump him. Dont even feel bad about it, hes a piece of shit, and if he treats you like that I guarantee he brags about it to his friends.

It will never change or get better, he will always be the same.

You are not ugly or worthless. You are beautiful and selflessly giving.

If you stay with him it is your fault from here on out. You are telling him and other people its alright to treat you like shit. Worse, you are admitting it to yourself. Its not ok.

I wonder if you have an inferiority complex. Reverse that shit.. start getting a little cocky and arrogant if nothing else. Hes not good enough for you, so be picky. Dump his ass and laugh in his face about it. Dont get another boyfriend for a while, at least a few months. Clear your head. Be a bitch and enjoy it.

[ghosty]

What a chump, the guy is leeching off of you for sex and smokes... that's pretty pathetic. He's never done anything nice for you, and refuses to do a little lickin and return the favor?... As a guy, knowing how we think...I'd have to say that's a clear sign he's just using you, and he obviously knows it and is using it to his advantage otherwise IMO if he did care about you he'd feel guilty about never paying or doing anything nice, and he'd attempt to do something special once in a while, or at least be willing to give some oral. It's may be hard to say goodbye, but it'll just be harder if you hang onto him, and the longer you hang on the harder it will be. Ditch him, and you'll feel lonely for a while, but I'm confident that you'll be able to suck it up and handle it, and when you do... there's plenty of other fish in the sea, and I'm sure you could find a guy willing to treat you better.

[crudemood]

i think its clear what the decision is right now. i think 100% of the responses here say so. i wish you the BEST of luck with him.

[stinkyattic]

Ditch that creep before anything REALLY abd happens... my ex started out like that, and when I was like, no, you can't have any more free weed, he just started STEALING it from me. The selfish user asshole comes with many faces but he's the same jerk.

You feel trapped? You also are upset with your job as I recall from another thread... time to do an overhaul on your life. You will be surprised at how much strength you actually HAVE, and you don't even know it because this dipshit is draining it out of you.

[psteve]

how the hell do i get strong enough to do that?
Here's your answer...

You will be surprised at how much strength you actually HAVE, and you don't even know it because this dipshit is draining it out of you.
That's just what I was going to say.
Take back your strength.

[420MissHighTimes420]

^^Thank you all so much. It is clear what I am supposed to do, and that is to dump his ass ... and here it comes .... BUT I can't handle ANOTHER failed relationship, I'm not ready to deal with it, I know it will only get worse as time goes on, but right now it will kill me. I can't keep friends longer than a few months -- the one best friend I had I just cut out because I'm able to be a bitch to girls -- I have lost all connection to my parents sinceI moved out. and I have gone through some BADDDDD break ups before.
here I could keep going on with excuses. your all right. I needed to hear it, and hopefully I iwll find it in me to be alone for once.
Once agian thanks.

[stinkyattic]

It isn't failed if YOU are the one who says, I am not getting what I need. I am the one who CHOOSES to leave.

[GraziLovesMary]

^^Thank you all so much. It is clear what I am supposed to do, and that is to dump his ass ... and here it comes .... BUT I can't handle ANOTHER failed relationship, I'm not ready to deal with it, I know it will only get worse as time goes on, but right now it will kill me. I can't keep friends longer than a few months -- the one best friend I had I just cut out because I'm able to be a bitch to girls -- I have lost all connection to my parents sinceI moved out. and I have gone through some BADDDDD break ups before.
here I could keep going on with excuses. your all right. I needed to hear it, and hopefully I iwll find it in me to be alone for once.
Once agian thanks.

Youre being too hard on yourself, it sounds like you dont fully love and accept everything about yourself. You need to be able to say that... you have to love it all in order for somebody else to. You gotta be comfortable with yourself, and happy with everything that makes you, YOU! Go on babes, do watcha gotta do and FEEL GOOD ABOUT! :D Were rootin for ya :)

[higher4hockey]

im not sure if i remember correctly, but i think it was you that i told " if you act like a doormat, don't be surprised when people walk all over you."

do people walk all over pitbulls? i dont think so...

i hope you get what i mean this time...or if you already did, at least take it to heart.

[ScaryMissMary]

Listen to everyone, they've given some wonderful advice. They have all given me some advice that I am forever thankful for. Were both kind of in the same ugly boat.. kinda. Well we both love assholes who don't deserve us. As much as we build ourselves up, we turn back into idiots when we see them. Im not sure what Im trying to say since everyone has said it already but Im here for you if you ever need someone to talk to. You have so much love and strength in you, you just have to build it up and not give it away to that dipshit.

[GraziLovesMary]

You ladies should move to Columbus.. I would date either one of you in a hearbeat, but I dont think Im meant to have a relationship in this life. However I could at least show you how you should be treated, and I could introduce you to people who would treat you better.

Lol I should start a service for women... Id be a mix between Hitch and Dr. Phil hahahahaha.

[ScaryMissMary]

You would be a rich man if you did that! lol

Im about this close to taking you up on your offer. Psh..

[Ganj]

Earlier, when I said that I have the same problem that your boyfriend does...I didn't mean it. I'm actually a really nice, considerate, handsome fellow, in search of a wonderful woman to serve.

[GraziLovesMary]

You would be a rich man if you did that! lol

Im about this close to taking you up on your offer. Psh..

hehe I wouldnt do it for the money, silly!

And youre more than welcome, you just cant fall in love with me! Im going to Thailand in a few years to train in Muay Thai in the temples there, and from there Im going to Shao Lin, I dont wanna hurt anybody :(

[khronik]

Here's an attempt to explain this guy's psyche. Maybe it'll help.

This guy gets his kicks from walking all over you. I had a roommate that was like that. He never had a hard time finding women either. The problem with him is not that he's oblivious to the fact that he's treating you like shit, it's that he enjoys treating you like shit! In his mind, the more you will put up with to be with him, the better that makes him feel about himself.

If you stand up to him, he'll do one of two things. He will either twist things around to make you feel guilty and make it seem like everything's your fault, or he'll make some token gesture, hoping that you, being attention-starved, will eat it right up. See, he won't just leave, even though he has no interest in you, because he has absolutely no respect for you. And if someone he has no respect for breaks up with him, what must that make him?

Some guys will be assholes if they're trying to get a girl to leave them, but I think you've been with him long enough that this isn't the case. But in any case, he has no respect for you and you need to leave him.

And here I feel guilty when my girlfriend IMs me and I don't feel like talking. (I do anyway)

You really need support from your friends or your family. Internet message boards might do in a pinch, but you really should think about trying to reconnect with your parents or something.

Good luck...

[thcbongman]

^^Thank you all so much. It is clear what I am supposed to do, and that is to dump his ass ... and here it comes .... BUT I can't handle ANOTHER failed relationship, I'm not ready to deal with it, I know it will only get worse as time goes on, but right now it will kill me. I can't keep friends longer than a few months -- the one best friend I had I just cut out because I'm able to be a bitch to girls -- I have lost all connection to my parents sinceI moved out. and I have gone through some BADDDDD break ups before.
here I could keep going on with excuses. your all right. I needed to hear it, and hopefully I iwll find it in me to be alone for once.
Once agian thanks.

It'll be tough, you don't have to go and find one right away. One day, it'll just happen, and you'll meet a guy that's great for you, at the least expected time.

Just be the best person you can be. Concentrate on other aspects of your life. To meet good people, you have to do good things.

[couch-potato]

I really can't understand why you're still with the dude if this is all true. Honestly, what the hell are you waiting for? If you tell yourself that you weak, chances are you're going to actually believe it after a while!



...



...



...


Dump him yet? There are plenty of willing young males under the internet tag of 'couch-potato' who are willing to pick up where this douche bag left off. What kind of pathetic excuse for a man doesn't eat pussy and bums weed off of his girl? I wish I could E-knock-bitches-the-fuck-out through my monitor.

[420MissHighTimes420]

Im done ... Last night he made me cry forever and I was laying next to him and I dont think he noticed and if he did he didnt care. hes going away soon and I wish I could stay with him but this will be just what I need to get away from him. hes like a robot he has no feelings. he is so selfish and i dont kno why i wasted so much time with him. im going to hang out with him until he leaves, but after last nite i dont even think i can fuck him. i told him to call me so we could actually have a conversation for once, and we didnt. im tired of being used. and I really hope I find it in me to not let this break up make me depressed because thats where it's going. I dont understand why it's so hard to find a good guy. I do like myself for the most part, I know i look good, and I think I have a good personality, I'm fun and giving, but for some reason the only thing guys pick up on is my doormat qualities. im just not going to look and hope the man of my dreams shows up.

and grazil i thought that you were moving to be with that lady of yours somewhere?

[GraziLovesMary]

Im done ... Last night he made me cry forever and I was laying next to him and I dont think he noticed and if he did he didnt care. hes going away soon and I wish I could stay with him but this will be just what I need to get away from him. hes like a robot he has no feelings. he is so selfish and i dont kno why i wasted so much time with him. im going to hang out with him until he leaves, but after last nite i dont even think i can fuck him. i told him to call me so we could actually have a conversation for once, and we didnt. im tired of being used. and I really hope I find it in me to not let this break up make me depressed because thats where it's going. I dont understand why it's so hard to find a good guy. I do like myself for the most part, I know i look good, and I think I have a good personality, I'm fun and giving, but for some reason the only thing guys pick up on is my doormat qualities. im just not going to look and hope the man of my dreams shows up.

and grazil i thought that you were moving to be with that lady of yours somewhere?

I moved from Maryland to Columbus to get out of Maryland... yeah I chose this place and was inspired to really do it for a girl but she just never called me one day before I had even left, and it turned out she went back to her ex boyfriend. I didnt let that stop me though, and she is now regretting it, but knows damn well she wont get another chance.

Thats why I surmised that I must not be meant to have a relationship in this life. However, I will still always and forever be in love with you god damned women lol :p for better or for worse.... another reason why Im going to temples in Asia to train hardcore in the martial arts lmao

[FakeBoobsRule]

After looking at the sexy pic thread, you don't have any reason to be afraid to leave him. You should find someone who will treat you right and you shouldn't have any trouble unless you have some hiden mental issues or other personality traits we aren't aware. Set yourself free!

[GraziLovesMary]

After looking at the sexy pic thread, you don't have any reason to be afraid to leave him. You should find someone who will treat you right and you shouldn't have any trouble unless you have some hiden mental issues or other personality traits we aren't aware. Set yourself free!

Thats what IM sayin!! But everybody is their own worst critic I guess :-\

And hey... whats that youre cookin?? I can smell it from here...

[420MissHighTimes420]

I moved from Maryland to Columbus to get out of Maryland... yeah I chose this place and was inspired to really do it for a girl but she just never called me one day before I had even left, and it turned out she went back to her ex boyfriend. I didnt let that stop me though, and she is now regretting it, but knows damn well she wont get another chance.

Thats why I surmised that I must not be meant to have a relationship in this life. However, I will still always and forever be in love with you god damned women lol :p for better or for worse.... another reason why Im going to temples in Asia to train hardcore in the martial arts lmao

that girl must have been insane!! or just plain stupid, because from your posts any girl would be soo lucky to have you.

[GraziLovesMary]

that girl must have been insane!! or just plain stupid, because from your posts any girl would be soo lucky to have you.

ehh Im not special or anything but I do know how to treat a woman. But it seems that the women that I allow myself to get involved with are the kind that are always wanting more... meh what happens, happens. It happened for a reason too. Im in a new city and lovin it. Clearly we werent meant to be together so better find out before I even move so that Im moving here for ME and not her.

And here I am :D

[geonagual]

Grazi, Columbus huh? Damn dude...you came on too late...the hottest chick to ever grace these boards left b4 you got here and you are in her stomping grounds...she would of made even you, blush...haha

Misshightimes...baby, there is the perfect man out there for you...you just need to look around.

[Storm Crow]

When we lose something we grieve for a while. We get hurt and angry. Hold on to that anger! Use it to transform yourself into the strong woman we all have within us! Dang- I gotta go- friend needs me in court- I'll get back to you later tonight! We are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for! You are going to get through this with a little help from your friends!- Granny:hippy:

[GraziLovesMary]

Grazi, Columbus huh? Damn dude...you came on too late...the hottest chick to ever grace these boards left b4 you got here and you are in her stomping grounds...she would of made even you, blush...haha

Misshightimes...baby, there is the perfect man out there for you...you just need to look around.

Lol thanks for letting me know what Ive missed. The thought will forever torment my dreams now. Congratulations.

:p

P.S. where the fuck did she go? lmao Im just playin, it doesnt matter anyway, prob for the best. Im not getting involved in a relationship if I can help it, Im set on going to Thailand and Shao Lin

[geonagual]

Lol thanks for letting me know what Ive missed. The thought will forever torment my dreams now. Congratulations.

:p

P.S. where the fuck did she go? lmao Im just playin, it doesnt matter anyway, prob for the best. Im not getting involved in a relationship if I can help it, Im set on going to Thailand and Shao Lin


I am not going to say her name..cause she didnt want anyone to know where she lived (cause of growing)...I knew though...I was so close to visiting her when I was back in Ohio at the beginning of the year...but shit didnt work out. she does have a boyfriend that she planned on marrying...but that didnt keep her flirtiness down...damn she was cool.....come back girl...I am sure many people miss you on here...

[khronik]

I'm not saying this is you, but I've known a girl who has such low self-esteem that she cannot be in a relationship that isn't abusive. If a guy is too nice to her, she'll get the idea into her head that there must be something wrong with him, since he likes her.


I dont understand why it's so hard to find a good guy. I do like myself for the most part, I know i look good, and I think I have a good personality, I'm fun and giving, but for some reason the only thing guys pick up on is my doormat qualities. im just not going to look and hope the man of my dreams shows up.

It seems like you might be attracted to guys like your boyfriend because they give you a lot of attention at first. Maybe they are very persistent, and you have a hard time saying no.

If you really want to meet nice guys, try going to parties at engineering schools. They're all like 90% guys. Or you could go to a public LAN party (where they play video games). Or you could post a profile and a picture on a personals site like craigslist. There are millions of guys out there who are nice and considerate and single, but a lot of times they are kind of shy, and so they might be attracted to venues like personal sites. How do you normally meet guys? Do you just go with the guys that will come up to you and hit on you out of the blue?

[kdspecial]

Its nothing you haven't herd before but......

It's time.... time for the dreaded talk.... the talk where you call some of the shots... And stick to your Guns Gurl/////

It need to end... It wont be pretty but It will get better with time.

He will tell you he will change and that he'll respect you etc. But untill you change He wont....

SO cut your loses... Call it a learning experience, Take a deep breath and tell him you want a Break. You want to be left alone. No emails No phone no nothing, No Face book or MSN-AIM.

And don't break down and call him... Let him call you cuz he will. right away too... Don't answer it will only make the healing process harder. I bet 2 weeks goes by and you'll feel like a new women, have more respect foryourself and you'll be glad you had the experience. Cuz you'll be closer to yourself and your needs and wants.

It somtimes take s abit of hurt to get some Good....

And when you look at it all,,, Your already hurting.. So you might as well Get the hurt that will reward you in the end...

Stay Strong gurl... Its not going to be easy... But it will definitly be well worth it...

kd

[xblackdogx]

I'm sorry for venting about my life on here so much but I have a long work day on the computer, and too much time to think. I feel so used by my boyfriend, I feel like all I do is give give give to everyone, and I am left feeling drained. I've been running on E for alittle while now, and shits about to fall apart. Even though things have been good with us I stll cant help but feel taken advantage of. After sucking his dick, and smoking him up on a blunt, he asks to pinch some of my weed. after the firs ttime he does it agian. This is all after I buy him concert tickets -- which he said he would pay me back for but neevr does. -- he has NEVER taken me out to eat. The one time we ate toegter not at our houses I PAYED! last nite was the last straw though. Not only did i give him head, let him do me any way he wanted, let him smoke 4 of the blunts that I payed and rolled! but then I ask him to eat me out and he says no! I dont kno why him saying no is making me so depressed but it is. The one thing! The one thing i ask for, and he says no! Not only does that make me feel used agian, but it makes me feel ugly and unworthy. i want to go cry about it. i need to end it. but I know no matter what anyone says i wont be strong enough to. how fucked up is that though. then once he finished fucking me in a way that wasnt very comforatble for me, and letting him cum on my face which i dont like at all (it makes me feel degraded) he ate ALL of the food in my apartment. which i cant afford. he said he will buy me more. but i know he wont. :mad: i thougth venting would help me feel better, but im afraid it just confirmed the fact that I'm pathetic.

Hi! It's unfortunate that your effort and time didn't get you where you want to be with that guy. Listen to these kind, considerate people at Cannabis.com who are reminding you of your worth, and never talk to this guy again.

From your other posts on this thread it seems like you are still in a bad mood, which I want to turn around. While I can't replace your boyfriend, as I'm leaving Philly for 9 months (leaving in a week), I would be willing to smoke you up and converse about everything but that asshole over a dinner that I'll cook. I'm know you're a wonderful girl, I can introduce you to some of my friends if you want.

[420MissHighTimes420]

I'm not saying this is you, but I've known a girl who has such low self-esteem that she cannot be in a relationship that isn't abusive. If a guy is too nice to her, she'll get the idea into her head that there must be something wrong with him, since he likes her.



It seems like you might be attracted to guys like your boyfriend because they give you a lot of attention at first. Maybe they are very persistent, and you have a hard time saying no.

If you really want to meet nice guys, try going to parties at engineering schools. They're all like 90% guys. Or you could go to a public LAN party (where they play video games). Or you could post a profile and a picture on a personals site like craigslist. There are millions of guys out there who are nice and considerate and single, but a lot of times they are kind of shy, and so they might be attracted to venues like personal sites. How do you normally meet guys? Do you just go with the guys that will come up to you and hit on you out of the blue?


I am attracted to guys like my boyfriend, well basically guys like my dad, who I have to fight really hard to get attention from, i never had any attention at all from my dad growing up, so now when I have a guy who doesn't give me attention - but sometimes does - the times wen he does, are the reasons Im with him, because I feel liek I was good enough to get the attention. I need to work on being secure with myself, I cant keep seeking validation from guys like I do.

And every guy I have ever dated I met in highschool. Or through a friend in highschool. I wanted to meet some new guys so I took this art class and ddin't meet anyone -- it was mostly women go figure, lesbian women too but Im not ready for that lol. I lve in a big city with a lot of hot young professionals so I feel like it shouldnt be that hard. Ive been working here for the past month, and moved down abbout 2 weeks ago, and have yet to me a single person! Wtfffff Im good looking - or at least I think so - so why dont guys come up to me more? I get nothing more than a hey baby or a wave . and ladies u no wut im talking about it only the old creepers who hit on you! wut is that?!

[420MissHighTimes420]

Hi! It's unfortunate that your effort and time didn't get you where you want to be with that guy. Listen to these kind, considerate people at Cannabis.com who are reminding you of your worth, and never talk to this guy again.

From your other posts on this thread it seems like you are still in a bad mood, which I want to turn around. While I can't replace your boyfriend, as I'm leaving Philly for 9 months (leaving in a week), I would be willing to smoke you up and converse about everything but that asshole over a dinner that I'll cook. I'm know you're a wonderful girl, I can introduce you to some of my friends if you want.

Im a bit hesitant of meeting people off of the internet, but I know NO ONE in this city, and I think I would be open to it -- espicially if its through someone on this site. edit :IM me at chelss80 and we can chat about it there, Im online all day 9 - 5 30 at work.

[Reefer Rogue]

It seems to me like you have absolutely no confidence in yourself anymore. You're lacking self esteem. It's actually frustrating to read this and know you're probably still with him. For God's sake DUMP HIM! Are you afraid of him? You're obviously petrified of something. You have these thoughs that the breakup will be bad.. It's completely the opposite, it will be great for you. I advise you tell this dickhead off before you dump him, but reading this thread, you don't seem strong enough to do what you KNOW you have to do.

[spliffstar22]

maybe he doesnt eat out.......?
i dont know, that sounds like some fucked up shit, i always stand on my own 2 in relationships, he sounds like a moocher, u should get rid of him, and find yourself a real man, and that's comin from me, but even i dont do any of that shit.......lol
and relationships are give and take, not just take, like he's doing, you should be takin too, unless he's a brokeass, then, i dont know what to say....lol

[Storm Crow]

Sweetie- about the class- right idea, wrong class! Computers, drafting, co-ed sports! Look in on the classes before you sign up! Certain classes have a preponderance of one sex or the other. Had one dude admit once he took "Women's History" to meet gals! It worked! He also got an "A" in the class for providing a "male" viewpoint! lol

Now about the self esteem, Whew! I got it too! My Dad was absent much of the time (sub duty in the Navy) and Mom was a bitch on wheels- alcoholic, bipolar, promiscuous, talented and beautiful. She did a number on my head. I know intellectually I am brilliant, talented in many ways and do a job better than most. Emotionally, it's always "Am I good enough?"

So I have turned it around! I am remarkably reliable and competent! I watch each detail. My bosses love me! So I can tell that nasty little voice "SHUT UP! I'm doing it right!" I know it will always be there, but I am more than it is! I will not let it rule me! Take your power back!

I remember all the shit that has been done to me. Not to make me bitter, but to remind myself that I have survived it ALL! You have survived this guy. You are examining your reasons for being with these guys- EXCELLENT! Now "shut the door" on that fool and get on with your life! - Granny:hippy:

[stinkyattic]

Listen to Granny, chica. She's got the right idea.

[Ganj]

Boy does she ever! I'm not even a girl and her advice works for me also.

[GraziLovesMary]

Im a bit hesitant of meeting people off of the internet, but I know NO ONE in this city, and I think I would be open to it -- espicially if its through someone on this site. edit :IM me at chelss80 and we can chat about it there, Im online all day 9 - 5 30 at work.

hehe is that AIM? ... :D

DAMN IT!! what is this power you women have over me???

[420MissHighTimes420]

yes it issss
you make me cheese!

[GraziLovesMary]

yes it issss
you make me cheese!

hehe Id like to make you do alot more than that..

GOD DAMNIT!! I DID IT AGAIN!!

[khronik]

I'd like to point out that a lot of girls make the mistake of waiting for guys to come to them. Come to think of it, a lot of guys make the mistake of waiting for girls to come to them too. Another common mistake is trying to meet people at places where you probably won't find such a great selection, like bars.

If you're looking to meet guys, I guess it depends what type you're looking for. For instance, single nerdy guys are a dime a dozen. Private parties are great for meeting people.

It can be hard to approach people though, especially when you're self-confidence is in the gutter. This is why internet dating sites can be great, since you have such a small emotional investment. Plus you don't have to invest a lot of time either. If you don't like someone, it's really easy to just not give them any personal information and stop emailing them. Plus, you can do all that at home, where you're comfortable.

[KHAN]

The more you give, the more people will take and think you a fool for it. You sound nice I'm sure you'll meet someone better.

[thcbongman]

hehe Id like to make you do alot more than that..

GOD DAMNIT!! I DID IT AGAIN!!

How sweet.

You guys better be making babies tonight.

[LIP]

Your not pathetic, in the slightest. HE IS PATHETIC.

That silly inconciderate bastard is an idiot. He doesnt deserve you. It's as simple as that.

What he deserves for acting like a spoilt little kid is a smack around the chops. He needs a wake up call. A serious one.

Think about it. Do you really love him?

Sit him down, and talk to him. Really talk. Tell him everything, and make him tell you how he feels. Dont accept the usual nods and grunts - make him talk, and make him listen to you. At the moment your on top, because you've done nothing wrong.

If you want to talk and he doesnt, knock him out and tie him up, so when he comes round he HAS to listen.

Dont take his shit - and dont feel you owe him ANYTHING [apart from the obvious wack over the head with a cricket bat ;) ]

I'm not good with advice - you can probably tell. BUT, what i said is true. It's not your fault, and your NOT pathetic in the slightest. Remember that!

[igotdakush]

thats pretty fuckd up..someone who treats you like that is'nt worth your time, there are plenty of guys out there so dump his ass and get a new man

[GraziLovesMary]

How sweet.

You guys better be making babies tonight.

lmao :p

[420MissHighTimes420]

How sweet.

You guys better be making babies tonight.

hehe *blushes*

[Demeter]

I am attracted to guys like my boyfriend, well basically guys like my dad, who I have to fight really hard to get attention from, i never had any attention at all from my dad growing up, so now when I have a guy who doesn't give me attention - but sometimes does - the times wen he does, are the reasons Im with him, because I feel liek I was good enough to get the attention. I need to work on being secure with myself, I cant keep seeking validation from guys like I do.

And every guy I have ever dated I met in highschool. Or through a friend in highschool. I wanted to meet some new guys so I took this art class and ddin't meet anyone -- it was mostly women go figure, lesbian women too but Im not ready for that lol. I lve in a big city with a lot of hot young professionals so I feel like it shouldnt be that hard. Ive been working here for the past month, and moved down abbout 2 weeks ago, and have yet to me a single person! Wtfffff Im good looking - or at least I think so - so why dont guys come up to me more? I get nothing more than a hey baby or a wave . and ladies u no wut im talking about it only the old creepers who hit on you! wut is that?!


Not only are you incredibly beautiful, but you are also smart enough to know the fundamental underlying problem- the daddy that couldn't show love, is now the boy that also doesn't....this is not an uncommon situation. The low self-esteem your daddy fostered is still repeating the pattern- the part of you that feels unlovable due to dad's inability keeps seeking withholding types because that's all an unlovable deserves, and the part of you that feels finally validated when daddy or boy does show affection stays with them for those times. It is a terrible web to be caught in. The best thing you can do is work it out through therapy of whatever sort works for you, and there are many approaches. It is a difficult pattern to break, but not impossible. You may find a friendship on the net based on personality is a better lead in to a relationship than one that begins with the trigger of physical attraction, because that sex apect often masks the very things you need to be on the lookout for, which is a lack of consideration and appreciation of you!
Remember, the problem is not with the guys necessarily, for there are selfish people everywhere. The problem is that you are choosing to be with them, and while that means you have to do the hard work (They will seldom change, don't waste too much time hoping for that!) of making better choices and standing up for yourself, it also means You have the Power! I have walked that road and wish you strength!
If the time again comes where you feel degraded by anyone, reach into your higher being and use the strength which is there to walk away. Just leave. Once you do it you find it gets easier and feels great:D

P.S. Once you feel better about you, you will attract better men! Keep getting involved in things you are passionate about, and passion will find you!

[420MissHighTimes420]

^^Awsome advice! You should be a therapist, that was right on. Thank you

[Demeter]

The school of hard knocks has taught me well;)
I hope you you can break out of the pattern much sooner than I did- life is much more fun when you are taking care of you.
Good luck sweetie!

[GraziLovesMary]

Ive been working here for the past month, and moved down abbout 2 weeks ago, and have yet to me a single person! Wtfffff Im good looking - or at least I think so - so why dont guys come up to me more? I get nothing more than a hey baby or a wave . and ladies u no wut im talking about it only the old creepers who hit on you! wut is that?!

Maybe theyre intimidated?? Maybe the person you are meant to be with is not in that area?? Hmmm.. I dunno whats up with those guys, cause youre definitely hot.

[420MissHighTimes420]

grazil u always make me smile during a shitty day :1baa:

[GraziLovesMary]

grazil u always make me smile during a shitty day :1baa:

Well I sure as hell hope so!!! You shouldnt be having a shitty day! God damnit what is wrong with this world when these kinds of evil forces are at foot!?!?!? :mad:

[420MissHighTimes420]

idk but i heard somewhere that smoking enormus amounts of pot and making enormus amounts of love can stop these forces!!!!!!!
tehehe

[GraziLovesMary]

idk but i heard somewhere that smoking enormus amounts of pot and making enormus amounts of love can stop these forces!!!!!!!
tehehe

woman... you just might be able to talk me into that :D

[Storm Crow]

Well kids, I don't know if massive amounts of pot and sex can stop the forces of evil, but daaaang, give it a try!;) - Granny:hippy:

[LIP]

:rastasmoke:I'm glad this has turned into a happy thread. :)

[GraziLovesMary]

Well kids, I don't know if massive amounts of pot and sex can stop the forces of evil, but daaaang, give it a try!;) - Granny:hippy:

hehe.. well... theres only one way to find out I guess... eh??