My wife wants to stop oral sex [Archive] - Green Grass Forums

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jygf77

07-12-2007, 11:27 PM

cannabis campbell

07-12-2007, 11:31 PM

Woah thats pretty serious, thats how some marriages break up, lack of sex (ever seen american beauty!?), but you obviously need to have a serious chat with her about it, How old are you both and how long have you been married, its opinion really and i think in a marriage you "need" sex because you need that physical attraction to stay there you cant ever let that die..

Maybe its something you've been doing, maybe you need to spice things up?? tell me more, do you think its something that you've done thats made her feel this way?

rebgirl420

07-12-2007, 11:32 PM

qdavid

07-12-2007, 11:40 PM

I don't know what to say. Only that pretty much the same thing happened to me. But she still gave me of blow jobs but she wouldn't let me eat pussy for three years before she died last year. I think other women do that sort of thing too. With us, communication was always a problem cause she was Korean and I never really found out what the problem was. Off the top of my head, it sounds like she should go talk to someone, but I don't know who.

friendowl

07-12-2007, 11:41 PM

hahaha
damn that sucks [no pun intended]
i used to be with a woman who didnt like to give head
but she was real real good in bed ...she was a bad one
but no head

after some time your body just wants to be served

you need to find a fat broad who is lonely
take her to the drive thru and pinch her boobs [not to hard]
she will fall on your cock face first within seconds

az666

07-13-2007, 12:00 AM

Isn't "love" the back bone of a relationship?
Sex is not the main concern....although physical contact is very important. You shouldn't base your relationship on getting your cock sucked.

hahahaha Friendowl you know how to get your end away :D

birdgirl73

07-13-2007, 12:34 AM

slipknotpsycho

07-13-2007, 12:46 AM

negotiate... beisdes oral sex what's something she always wants you to do, that you'd really rather not, but do it anyways?

not saying it's the best course of action, but that's what i'd do... you don't wanna do this for me, and i don't wanna do this for you... settled.

it is a tough one tho... i know how much i love it... and to be told never again (maybe again in the future is basicly a never again.. lol, she only said that so if you bring it up later she can say "i never said never again, i said maybe in the future") well... it's not exactly right to force it.. and i can definately understand it'd kill it anyways if you knew she didn't want to... i could imagine it'd be similar to getting a hand job while she's looking at a cosmo or something...

qdavid

07-13-2007, 01:31 AM

you need to find a fat broad who is lonely
take her to the drive thru and pinch her boobs [not to hard]
she will fall on your cock face first within seconds

bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anubis10012007

07-13-2007, 01:42 AM

Seems like a sign of divorce. It usually starts with something like this. Than she'll be going out more and more.

However, things tend to work themselves out naturally.

Stay single!

slipknotpsycho

07-13-2007, 01:47 AM

Seems like a sign of divorce. It usually starts with something like this. Than she'll be going out more and more.

However, things tend to work themselves out naturally.

Stay single!

i was going to flame you then decided against it..

i will however say that's kind of a retarded thing to say... the divorce bit.... for some people staying single is the best option...

Spoken Word

07-13-2007, 01:56 AM

don't divorce over that..
you chose her.....deal with it.
it's not that serious.
my uncle would love oral sex but his wife refuses to...

and besides, a girl that doesn't like doing it, does it completely wrong sooo.....she wins either way

blazed_babe

07-13-2007, 03:12 AM

Well, if you cant have an open sexual relationship where both of you is happy then id say you should get a divorce. That is such crap. Sex is the backbone of a relationship. Actually Playboy actually had a letter like this a while back from the Playboy Advisor, your wife is full of crap w/ her religious views. Sex is natural and anything but "unhealthy". Men and women have natural urges that need to be met. Fine, if YOU can live your life with a shitty unfullfilling sex life fine, but I wouldnt call that living at all.

while i do think that sex is an important part of a relationship, and being sexually open with your partner is also important, by no means is it the backbone of a relationship. shouldn't love be the backbone of a relationship? otherwise, a good fuck buddy (meh, i hate that term) would suffice, with no need for a relationship at all. although i do agree, a healthy sex life is a very good thing for a marriage. sex is natural, but you chose your wife, and you should respect her views and decisions. that doesn't mean that they're necessarily always right, but you shouldn't just freak out, you should discuss it with her and try to maybe reach some sort of compromise or maybe make sure there isn't some deeper reason besides religious views. if there is a deeper reason, then maybe there is trouble in the relationship. but she honestly could just want a break from oral sex. sex is good, but the actual relationship and the love part of a long-lasting relationship and marriage should come first. i know it's frustrating, but try to understand your wife's decisions. if you freak out or blow up about this, then that "maybe" in the future might never happen at all.

oral sex isn't everything. maybe by abstaining from oral sex for awhile, you and your wife will find other, more creative ways of foreplay and turning each other on. this could actually turn into something that's a bit fun! (just trying to find the silver lining in things for you)

Hardcore Newbie

07-13-2007, 04:05 AM

How long have you been married? I find it hard to believe that something like this would just manifest in a relationship... The fact that you "[ask] for it... once or twice a month" shows me that she didn't like it in the first place.

"She's sort of religiously conservative or whatever".... seriously.... "or whatever"? Do you even know this person?

blazed_babe

07-13-2007, 04:44 AM

At the beginning the chief tricks him into rubbing this burning herb on his piggily wiggily

ahahahahahaha

wow that's awesome. i've never heard it been referred to as that before

GraziLovesMary

07-13-2007, 04:44 AM

I, too want to hear how long he has been married and what the ages are. That will shed some more light on the issue. How is the sex? Is it dynamic or monotonous? Religious types can be either great or horrible, at least the inexperienced ones. They either love it when its done right and want more and more of it, or they feel its wrong and that they are somehow sinning. God damn religious fundamentalists who tamper with human nature and the psyche of fragile, impressionable children.

jsn9333

07-13-2007, 07:43 AM

That's a tough one, jygf77. I definitely don't think a divorce is in order because of that alone--unless, of course, this is just a symptom of a much larger problem between the two of y'all. Something about the fact that she's saying she doesn't want oral anymore either and wants a break in both directions sends up red flags that she's unhappy with some aspect of herself, with her sexuality or with the physical intimacy between you two and is using the "spiritually/emotionally unhealthy" reason as an excuse.

Something's obviously wrong that she could use some help with. Has y'all's sex life been good until now? Is she basically proposing that your sex life now simply be limited to intercourse alone? Also, do you know if she's ever been the victim of any type of abuse or assault? I may anger some of our arch-religious members here, and I apologize in advance if I do, but I fervently believe that oppressive religious programming about right and wrong/good and evil is in itself a form of abuse; it's programming that later results in physical and mental uptightness every bit as much as sexual assault can.

If getting head is real, real important to you, and I've never yet been acquainted with a guy for whom it wasn't, tell her that. Ask if she might be willling to work together with a counselor about the sex issues. An astute counselor, particularly one who's not affiliated with a religious institution, could help pin down what's really up with her in just a few sessions.

I tend to agree with az666 that you shouldn't base your relationship entirely on getting oral sex. But I strongly believe that in a sexually healthy marriage, wives and husbands who love each other need to make every effort to accommodate their partners, even when it shakes the boundaries of their comfort zone. I truly can't imagine my sex life with my husband without that particular activity. It's one of the best ways I know of to let him know I love him--and to keep him happy and satisfied with me.

First of all, to answer everyone, we've been married since February of 2006, so for a year and a half.

Secondly, where can I find a good counselor?

Thirdly... I'll try to answer questions people have asked, and give more background. Sorry if this is too long...

I'm 28, she is 25. Has our sex life been good? Ummm... no, not really. While I have had healthy sexual relationships in the past, I respected her desire to save sex for marriage. (mistake number one I guess). I started going to a sort of conservative church with her because, while I disagree with some of the more conservative things they teach (obviously, since I'm on cannabis.com), I am a Christian and I do think a husband/wife being on a similar page spiritually is good. I just tell her what I agree with and disagree with when I hear them teach or whatever. But the church sold me on the "saving sex for marriage doesn't mean we think its a bad thing, it just means we love it and respect it more then people who don't." (again, mistake number one).

I did make sure I talked to her pretty extensively about sex before getting married, including any beliefs she had about oral sex. I told her that I never wanted to be part of a "close-minded" sexual relationship where exploration, enjoyment, oral, etc. were frowned upon. But I realized we had some problems on wedding night. I was all excited and looking forward to getting it on, and she just sort of laid there. Even kissing her was awkward, because she sort of acted like she doesn't like french kissing. She won't say that though. Its just awkward, that is the only way I know how to describe. I thought it would get better, but it hasn't.

When I asked her about her feelings concerning oral sex while we dated, I told her I understood some (rare) Christians might think it is a sin or not good or whatever and I asked her if she was one of those? She said she was "open to it", and had never experienced it. I figured that was all good, because who wouldn't like it... right? Plus she's "saving sex" with me because she "loves sex so much". If I ever hear someone say that again I'll want to choke them.

Well, after the immense awkwardness (especially with anything oral) continued for months after we married, I talked to her more about it. I've found out that when her best friend in high school and college said, "One thing you'll love about sex when you finally decide to do it is oral sex... it feels *wonderful*!", my wife told her that it would not be a part of her marriage and sex life. (!) (Gee... think she should've told me that when I asked her how she felt about it?)

When, a year into our marriage, she asked that we stop oral sex I knew that she had basically lied to me when we dated. I mean, how can someone tell people she doesn't like oral sex before marriage, tell her husband she thinks it can be unhealthy and that she wants to stop it after marriage, and yet still be telling the truth when she said she was "open to it" when they were dating? I've told her I feel deceived... because I do. However, I've also told her I don't mean to imply that she "tricked" me on purpose... perhaps she tricked herself too, you know? I love her in many ways. I just feel so hurt and confused.

Has she been abused? She has told me that the man she gave her virginity to became abusive, and she just let him have sex with her to make him happy. Since we've married she said she thought it would not be "sinful" if she didn't enjoy it with that guy. (wtf?) She has also said she thinks that might be an attitude she has trouble getting rid of (in other words, she thinks she has trouble enjoying sex even with me sometimes because she "trained" herself to feel that way towards sex). I don't understand that at all because I in no way abuse her and never would. She says she doesn't even really understand it.

Her parents never talked to her about sex, *ever*... other then saying it was a sin before marriage. So that might be a problem too.

I've suggested counseling a few times, and she said she's open to it but she wants to give us time first. At this point I feel like I might be the one that needs counseling though. I feel like I'm "ruined" in my attraction toward her because I feel like she tricked me or both of us about something I told her was important to me. I'm not even attracted to her much any more sexually, although I love her emotionally. It is a very weird state I never thought I'd find myself in. Honestly, I don't even want sex from her anymore... and that is one of the reasons I want to explode. I just want to freaking die.

If we do see a counselor, I think I would want it to be one that is in no way affiliated with the church she likes to go to. She wouldn't like that, but I feel like the bullshit they sometimes spout has nothing to do with Christ and, in a lot of ways, is what got us in this position in the first place.

P.S. - She doesn't know I smoke pot once or twice a month with a friend from work. I started after she told me she didn't want oral sex any more. It has been my outlet I suppose. I've figured, hell, if I can't enjoy sex I'm going to enjoy something. Sometimes I think I should just light up a joint in front of her and let her freak out and leave my ass.

slipknotpsycho

07-13-2007, 07:49 AM

i don't think you should have to sneak around over things like smoking...

dunno about you or anyone else... but i am who i am, if you don't like who i am, then you don't want me, you want someone else..

if she were to freak out and leave you should you light a joint in her face... well imo perhaps it's better off... there's probably gonna be alot more things you do that are alot worse before yal die happily married or eventually get divorced/seperate...

however, on topic, seems like yal have some more serious underlying issues here then just what you've given in the first post...

BobMarley91

07-13-2007, 07:55 AM

Yea,Honestly man even though you love her it might not get better and might just get worst in time.Have you tried to sit her down and talk to her about how you feel about the situation?If not then maybe you should to see how she will take your feelings.

I understand where your coming from when you're lied to by your suppose to be loved one and it hurts so bad and they just sit there and act like they dont care.Man that hurts my feelings so much.I got a question though did you feel as you and her had a 100% truthful relationship?If so, then i definately know how you feel.Because with my ex I was only 100% truthful with her and come to find out she was telling me lies and cheating on me for around 2weeks.Even though you might love a woman you can never really trust her in my eyes.Ladies dont beat up on me for it but thats how I feel because all the girls I have been went turns out to be the same lying and sneaky.

Nailhead

07-13-2007, 08:43 AM

Get out before she gets pregnant, you obviously married way too early if you weren't even on the same page spiritually, and you can't force yourself into believing something you just don't believe. Enough with all the "sex isn't that important" crap, it is, a bad sex life is the primary cause of divorce so don't think you can ignore that. Eventually you will get sex somewhere, probably not her, so why stay married then?

Just remember the longer you stay with her, the more you pay in vaginamony, and if you have kids, you will be screwed up financially, (not to mention the kids themselves will be screwed).

You can try counseling but it really doesn't sound like she is right for you anyway, those deep emotional issues she has with sex vs religion won't go away quickly, if ever, so it might be best to just part ways while you are still young.

Reefer Rogue

07-13-2007, 09:29 AM

No offense but that sounds like a horrible relationship. I hope you can either work it out with her because if you can't i would move on.

Nightcrewman

07-13-2007, 09:42 AM

jygf77

07-13-2007, 12:55 PM

Yes, I've sat her down and told her exactly how I feel.
And yes, I did feel that we had a 100% truthful relationship. I'm not sure she maliciously lied to me. I think at worst she (in her mind) "phrased" things to sound acceptable to me when we talked about sex while dating. At best (and what most likely happened was that) she sort of "tricked" herself into thinking she could be "open" about oral sex, etc. for me... but then after months and months she just decided she couldn't take it and reverted to what she was like before we met.

Then again, maybe I'm the idiot for expecting normal dialog about sex and normal sex from someone who was abused and also raised not talking about sex.

Yea,Honestly man even though you love her it might not get better and might just get worst in time.Have you tried to sit her down and talk to her about how you feel about the situation?If not then maybe you should to see how she will take your feelings.

I understand where your coming from when you're lied to by your suppose to be loved one and it hurts so bad and they just sit there and act like they dont care.Man that hurts my feelings so much.I got a question though did you feel as you and her had a 100% truthful relationship?If so, then i definately know how you feel.Because with my ex I was only 100% truthful with her and come to find out she was telling me lies and cheating on me for around 2weeks.Even though you might love a woman you can never really trust her in my eyes.Ladies dont beat up on me for it but thats how I feel because all the girls I have been went turns out to be the same lying and sneaky.

jygf77

07-13-2007, 01:06 PM

I'm not sure that she'd leave me if I told her I'm gonna start smoking pot. She knows I drink. And if I told her in the right way, gently, she would definitely freak out... but she might actually get over it and stay. It probably wouldn't be pleasant though. I don't know. I feel bad because I love her and she loves me very much. I know she does. It would just destroy her to get a divorce.

I'm not worried about alimony or any of that. We signed a pre-nuptual agreement agreeing to no alimony or anything... just split our mutual assents down the middle. The reason we did that was because her family is rich as hell and they make anyone who marries their daughters sign a pre-nup. At first I thought that was ridiculous and just signed it to please everyone involved (after having a lawyer look at it of course and make sure it was cool). Now I'm thinking maybe that was a good idea.

Anyway, the point is, I do love her and care about her. A divorce might be best since we're so different on a couple of levels. But then again... wow, it would hurt her soooooo much. Divorce from is the last thing in the world she would ever want. I treat her good, I really do. And that's because I do love her.

I guess two things need to happen.
1) We need to see a counselor for a while, and if things don't improve in a specific amount of time, we should probably divorce before kids come on the scene. I mean, oral sex is not by any means a huge important part of a relationship. But when all is put aside, asking for oral sex to *not* be a part of marriage after getting married is just way fucked up. And not being able to enjoy sex is fucked up too. I don't know if I can be happy in a marriage like this. I just don't know.
2) I need to either tell her I smoke up once in a while, or I need to stop doing that. It can't be good to be "sneaky" about something like that.

i don't think you should have to sneak around over things like smoking...

dunno about you or anyone else... but i am who i am, if you don't like who i am, then you don't want me, you want someone else..

if she were to freak out and leave you should you light a joint in her face... well imo perhaps it's better off... there's probably gonna be alot more things you do that are alot worse before yal die happily married or eventually get divorced/seperate...

however, on topic, seems like yal have some more serious underlying issues here then just what you've given in the first post...

birdgirl73

07-13-2007, 03:06 PM

That was a very thorough and good explanation, jsn9333. She definitely deceived you by telling you what she did before you were married. That was a technique, I'm sad to say, that some women employ so as not to throw an engagement/marriage off course when they've got a potential spouse in their crosshairs.

She definitely has issues. If her previous lover became abusive and she let him proceed sexually anyway, it's no surprise she wanted to let sex with you wait till marriage (to postpone more of it as long as she could). Combine that experience with very religiously conservative attitudes toward sex in the first place and you get what you're currently having to endure.

Your insurance network likely has a list of counselors/psychologists whom they recommend, and another good way to find one is to ask a physician you trust for some recommendations. You can also just open up the yellow pages and start calling the marriage and family counselors and interview them over the phone to get a feel for whether they're someone you'd feel comfortable working with. Sounds like your wife wants to put this off, too, "taking more time to work on it yourselves," but that problem isn't going to get better, it's going to get increasingly worse. And it'll continue to drive a deeper wedge between the two of you. The sooner you address it directly, the better a chance you'll have of making progress on the problem.

Good luck!

khronik

07-13-2007, 05:11 PM

Sounds like she's the one who could use a joint or two, more than you! You should make her a nice batch of brownies. Seriously, it sounds like she has a lot of repressed issues, and weed is great for getting past stuff like that. I doubt it's a realistic solution, but still...

Counciling seems like it would be a good idea too. You two have problems, but it doesn't mean they're irreparable.

GraziLovesMary

07-13-2007, 05:21 PM

Yeah dude, in my opinion these religiously conservative ideas need to be adressed immediately. I had a relationship very very similar to the way this one sounds, and it didnt work at all unfortunately. I would go to a counselor immediately, with not just the sex issue, but the religion issue at hand as well. Her religion is controlling way too much of her life and the things that she has been brainwashed into believing her whole life are disagreeing with her natural human instincts. And Im pretty sure she thinks its a sin to have those thoughts and that shes going to hell.

420MissHighTimes420

07-13-2007, 05:58 PM

^^ Because of that, Im going to teach my kids about all religions and let them choose what they want to fallow when there older. I was brought up in a very conservitive jewish house, and I hated goign to services, and never felt connected to a relgion that I didnt understand, even thoguh I went to hebrew school for 9 years I don't know it well because I hated going. Thankfully I was never brainwashed by my parents. Who are pretty cool about weed and sex though, just not bacon.

420MissHighTimes420

07-13-2007, 06:01 PM

^^sorry that was off topic, I'm sorry to hear about you and your wife man. That must be rough. You two havent been married long and you already have sex problems. Dont give her up over that though, just get a good councler. And yeah kronhik it sounds lke she needs to smoke. You should really tell her that you do.

locomark

07-14-2007, 03:53 AM

Well it sounds like your are ready to get out. Don't blame you. Tell her that you need to separate to find the real you. That will flip her out all week. After she is done crying you can tell her that there is a conservative man out there that would be very pleased with just her vagina. That you feel betrayed and deceived and that you would be happier without her. She has expectations of marriage and so do you. Don't feel pity or remorse. You only have 40/50 more years to find happiness. So you fucked up just move on and never hold out till marriage again. Next time you hear this excuse yourself from the conversation. But what do I know?

Loco

slipknotpsycho

07-14-2007, 04:14 AM

honestly, the more you tell us, the worse it gets.... i think you should honestly really sit down and think long and hard about this... from my point of view, this marriage isn't heading in a very good direction.... it actually kinda seems to be derailing...

from what i gather, basicly she's expecting you to be everything she wants you to be, and her compromising is out of the question...

not say tha'ts right, that just SEEMS like the way this is heading.... neither of yal really seem to be open and truthful, which makes it even worse... since the sole major characteristic of any marriage to succeed is openess and honesty... if you don't have that, you don't really have a marriage... you just have a documented higher priority girlfriend/boyfriend situation...

forgetting yal aren't even on the same page on like.... anything, if this marriage is to work, both of you are going to have to become very up front, and very honest and open and clear about what you think/feel. at this point, that's about the only hope you have at this point.

as for the love... love is one thing, but is she the one? i 'loved' quite a few girls before i met my wife, who is my one... i thought i'd love them forever too and i couldn't of ever imagined being without them at the time... but i'm not now.. .and i'm also happy now...

is she the one? you shoudln't even have to think to answer.... when you meet the one, you know they're the one, you can say with 100% conviction that they are the one without even the slightest pause or doubt...

can you say that about your current wife?

onwardthroughthefog

07-14-2007, 04:51 AM

You are going through what I imagine is your first really heartbreaking time. It's incredibly painful to have a marriage fall apart so quickly....trust me, I know. Within a moment of time you feel hurt, hopeful, humiliated, anxious, angry, deceived, loving, lonely, caring, frustrated, nurturing, tormented, depressed, confused, and hopeless....all jumbled together.

I shared your pain of having been deceived. That is a very lonely road to walk. I wish we lived close by one another so that we could talk over a cup of coffee.

There were some definite signs of trouble at the outset. Coming from a family that never discusses sex or intimacy is a strong indicator that she is not capable of evolving into that type of person. We most often tend to mimic what gave us comfort as we were developing our personal beliefs. That is usually family members, namely parents.

I suggest that you consider counseling for yourself, not just for the two of you. You are going to experience some very baffling emotions over the next few months, regardless of how things evolve. Long before you can begin to understand what she is thinking, you need to be secure in what you are feeling and thinking. Consider taking care of you for now. You can't really take the responsbility of both of you on your shoulders. But you can begin to learn more about yourself to make you feel more comfortable with whatever comes of this.

I wish you the very best my friend. If I can ever be of help, feel free to look me up. Take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to feel all the emotions that will come up inside of you. Everything you experience, and most importantly how you react to it, is what will make you the man you ultimately become.

Onward!

couch-potato

07-14-2007, 05:02 AM

Unless it's a romantic surprise dinner complete with a violin player and a fine bottle of wine in an ice bucket, you don't hide things from your wife. Ever. That's just begging for bad news. Work out your issues now, don't postpone it man.

Ganj

07-14-2007, 05:15 AM

She's sort of religiously conservative or whatever. She said she thinks it might be "unhealthy" (like spiritually/emotionally). I never asked for it often... maybe once or twice a month... even though I'd like it more. And I go down on her just as much as she does me. But she said she doesn't want me going down on her any more, and wants to "take a break" from going down on me, and "maybe" well do it again in the future.

This has caught me way off guard. I told her okay since I don't want to force any sort of sex on anyone... and knowing she hates it will spoil it for me anyway. But inside I want to fucking explode. I don't know what to do.

Don't mess with anyone's spirituality. And if she would like to cease oral sex, then I believe you should respect her feelings. We all know too much love has been lost thanks to selfish people who fail to adapt to change. Be flexible, perhaps after awhile the act of giving a blowjob wont be as taboo as it is for her now?

Anubis10012007

07-14-2007, 07:33 AM

i was going to flame you then decided against it..

i will however say that's kind of a retarded thing to say... the divorce bit.... for some people staying single is the best option...I appreciate your honesty, but I am a realist and this is a clear sign. :wtf:

birdgirl73

07-14-2007, 03:09 PM

I appreciate your honesty, but I am a realist and this is a clear sign. :wtf:
Realist that you believe you are, it's a sign of trouble rather than a sign of divorce. There's a big difference. No one looking in from the outside can tell a married couple "Well, this means divorce," because you're not in that marriage. You don't know of their level of love for one another, and you're discounting the fact that they made vows and are legally committed to one another.

Trouble? Yes. Divorce? Only they themselves say their problems are a sign of that if and when they've decided the problem can't be addressed or compensated for in some other way.

Darth Vapor

07-15-2007, 04:39 AM

you never go ass to mouth!!!

Hahahaha... glad somebody got that. :smokin:

I believe this is a first. Yes, Darth Vapor, you are the first person that I have seen use the term "zeppelin" it it's literal meaning.

I even know what dirigible means. Would somebody please help me brush this dirt off my shoulder? ;)

MadSativa

07-15-2007, 11:06 AM

wow I just read all of this and after thinking about it I am noway the one who could give help advise but I dont under stand how someone could not want to give oral sex to their partner. After meeting and getting the introductions and intentions outa the way one of the first things I think about is "what does she taste like"? Mabey its the predator, or the beast in me...... I dont know, just sounds....:pimp: not good.

Kottonmouth Prince

07-15-2007, 11:13 AM

does she like when u go down on her if she does say u aint doing it till she does

bangbilo

07-18-2007, 09:36 PM

I have been dating my girlfriend for about 1 year and 2 months and when i first met her she wouldn't even kiss me.. infact she HATED kissing.. it was just a subconscious thing she had were she felt insecure about kissing. and now its the only thing she wants to do when she's around me.. i have even got her to start french kissing.. and she enjoys it very much.

She was originally the same way about giving me oral sex. But today she enjoys doing it and will often times just surprise me with it. I think its important that you voice your opinion and try to discuss what the cause of this new change of pace is all about..

anymore i just look forward to the week in which my girl is having her period (blowjob week) :D

da dubs

07-19-2007, 05:52 PM

I'm not sure that she'd leave me if I told her I'm gonna start smoking pot. She knows I drink. And if I told her in the right way, gently, she would definitely freak out... but she might actually get over it and stay. It probably wouldn't be pleasant though. I don't know. I feel bad because I love her and she loves me very much. I know she does. It would just destroy her to get a divorce.

I'm not worried about alimony or any of that. We signed a pre-nuptual agreement agreeing to no alimony or anything... just split our mutual assents down the middle. The reason we did that was because her family is rich as hell and they make anyone who marries their daughters sign a pre-nup. At first I thought that was ridiculous and just signed it to please everyone involved (after having a lawyer look at it of course and make sure it was cool). Now I'm thinking maybe that was a good idea.

Anyway, the point is, I do love her and care about her. A divorce might be best since we're so different on a couple of levels. But then again... wow, it would hurt her soooooo much. Divorce from is the last thing in the world she would ever want. I treat her good, I really do. And that's because I do love her.

I guess two things need to happen.
1) We need to see a counselor for a while, and if things don't improve in a specific amount of time, we should probably divorce before kids come on the scene. I mean, oral sex is not by any means a huge important part of a relationship. But when all is put aside, asking for oral sex to *not* be a part of marriage after getting married is just way fucked up. And not being able to enjoy sex is fucked up too. I don't know if I can be happy in a marriage like this. I just don't know.
2) I need to either tell her I smoke up once in a while, or I need to stop doing that. It can't be good to be "sneaky" about something like that.

hiya mate,,well you have put a lot of thought into this already,by the sounds of things,,

i am a married guy,who has gone tru the highs and lows of marraige,we are married 11years now,,when things got really bad,,really bad,very little communication if any,,we found a group called retroville,i,m sure you can look them up,
but anyway,they gave us great support and the way to communicate openly and honestly,with one another and without judgement,,
think you need some sort of counselling,to get you tru this dilemma.not from a priest,pastor,or any church,just counselling without agenda,,,
best of luck my friend,i hope all works out for you..:) :hippy:

felix808

08-27-2007, 07:32 PM

Hi jygf77 -

Any luck? Are you still living near RTP? I'm in a similar boat, not exactly the same. My wife's a health nut (not religious) and views smoking as bad for one's health, so she frowns upon it for this reason (and for the unfortunate fact that it isn't legal yet). Neverthess, I can't let this get in the way of a good toke, so I simply choose to be discrete.

Hit me up if you want to hang out...I live in Cary. You can get me email from my vCard.

Peace and best vibes
:thumbsup:

angry nomad

08-31-2007, 08:15 PM

Fuck that. I made sure my wife gives me head whenever I want it.

Those religions are so fucked. The Song Of Solomon is all about sex. It talks about manual stimulation.

Dude I just had an idea, just go down on her, and make her orgasm like crazy, and then just say, ok my turn. And tell her how much you like it, how sexy she looks when she does it. Fucking tickle and flirt with her all day. Just don't talk about sex. Just do it.

I am pretty stoned, dude, but GODDAMN. Every man needs to get his dick sucked at least ONCE A WEEK. Fuck!

ICEMAN69

11-04-2007, 05:11 PM

yOUR WIFE HAS CROSSED THE LINE! Start getting it elsewhere and rub it in her face! she will either start sucking out of jelousy or pack her shit n leave. And if she will not willing want to please her mate i would question the depth of her feelings for you.

Squiggle

11-05-2007, 10:38 PM

My ex-girl wouldnt go down on me or LET me go down on her...

Didnt last long.

robbyg

11-07-2007, 11:24 AM

JSN: I am emailing your gmail account with positive instructions that will work for you. Cheers!

puff puff pass

robby

O. G. ganja smoker

11-07-2007, 11:45 AM

AWWW DUDE!!! FUCK THAT SHIT id be like then our relationship is "unhealthy" peace out and GOOD LUCK. but damn dog im not getting married ever just because women are so unpredictable never know what kind of krazy shits runnin through thier head but im not tripin i only NEED me myself and i... maybe sum dank too:jointsmile:

the image reaper

11-07-2007, 02:09 PM

don't wanna worry you, but after 4 divorces :wtf:, I noticed one thing each time ... my wife stopped blowing/swallowing just a few weeks before I discovered she 1. was gettin' it somewhere else, and 2. she wants a divorce ... funny how it seemed to be a pattern with them :jointsmile:

connector_robot

11-08-2007, 05:14 AM

"Fuck that" was the first thought that came to my mind when I saw the title of your post.

c of green

11-09-2007, 01:09 AM

i love that "be exactly how i want you to be and love me for exactly who i am" shit.get rid of her before kids come.DO IT TODAY!!

Skrappie

11-09-2007, 01:19 AM

Everyone has said it or hinted at it. But you my Friend have a very unhealthy and at least to you sexually unsatisfying sexual life, and it does not look like it will get better. I think the question you should ask yourself should be, "am i willing to live like this, in hopes for better things down the road."

I don't see anything but rough sailing personally.

IF she really has these attitudes about sex, another question is, how healthy would it be to spend many hours working at her to change her mood.

it seems like compatibility is the real issue here.