Trouble In The Hen House

[kdspecial]

I'm not really one to post personal stuff on a web site and ask for help, But considering the situation and the subject this site seems liek a convienent place to do so.

My Gf of a year and a half Living together for a year. Has come to me in frantic times, and said she doesn't wanna smoke anymore. We both smoke everyday frequently. She sayds she doesn't wanna laze around and she honestly feels its ruining her life. I say fine thats cool, I will do what I can to help you with the situation. Do you want me to stop smoking as well? No Just don't do it around me. Fari enough I wanna help and be supportive and I needa break anyways so I will stop smoking for a bit as well. Cool Cool

So a week goes by and I'm feeling pretty good about not smoking. Then she comes home witha Bag. (I also thought I'd mention I havea grow Box as well) Shes like I wanna smoke again cuz im just bored etc etc. Then we smoke and it goes back to normal again. Smoking every day or so,, Then a month goes by and we have the same frantic argument..,.

I waanna stop smoking But YOu have you boix and have weed around all the time etc etc. So in a Fit I said what would you like me to do, Ill get rid of the plants box whatever I don't feel I should stop smoking but I will not smoke around you etc etc. It calms down again. and a day goes by or two and shes smoking again. So I continue back and start smoking with her again.

Another month goes by and the same thing again But now shes says shes gotta leave and that she told me we have a problem, Weed is always around her and IF I loved her I would have stopped her from smokiong and gotten rid of the Box a long time ago and shes had it now Im a bad influence on her and I Have a problem etc etc,

What do I do? Do I call it quits and end this relationship or do I get rid of my Grow Box stop smoking and hope somthign changes when I truly believe to myself that the weed isn't the problem I believe the problem is in somthing else and weed is being used as the outlet to deal with the problem,

AM I carzy in thinking this? Any of you Women,,, I say Women cuz I know there are slot of HIgh schoolers out on this site. I respect your opionions I just know most of you you haven't dealt with these kind of serious emotions in relationships yet. Living together etc.

You see I love weed, I love growing it I have found gardening to become more of a hobby than anything now. I don't mind giving somthign up for the one I love but I think Theres more of another problem going on here, and unfortunatly its not somthing I can fix. And then I have to make my Lady happy but at what cost do I sacrifice what makes me happy? Espically when I feel its not the problem

We have never been good at talking about stuff,, She gets too angry flips out and I just trun right off in defense (Im patient and dont like to yell it doesn't help the situation) before anythign really gets talked about.. She gets mad. I withdraw cuz I don't know what to do cuz its so overwhelming. Then I bet she feels undervalued or somthign Shes always saying im not listening, The cycle continues...

This is gonna be a hard next couple of weeks for the KD man....

Any insight on this could be helpful for my decisions in the up comming week.

kd

[Kid Dynamite]

I don't know your situation explicitly, nor am i a woman, but it seems to me like she has convinced herself that she needsto quit smoking weed, and she's blaming her inability to quit on you having weed all the time. Seems like rubbish to me, as you said that SHE went out and bought a bag because she wanted a smoke...it's not like you gave in and supplied it to her. If i were you i would keep the box and keep smoking, but refuse to smoke with her even if she comes to you and says "Oh im bored, lets have a smoke"

[slipknotpsycho]

i don't think anyone should change for anyone but themselves... unless you want to stop, i don't feel you should have to. relationships are give and take true, but that doesn't mean they can take what they don't like away, and give 'freedoms' at their own disgression..

quitting smoking around her is enough... if she just looks at weed related stuff and wants to smoke, then she's fucked anyways. it's all over the place.. papers, blunts, bongs, pipes.... tv shows, movies, random people walking down the street... etc...

i think she doesn't want to admit to her own weakness and using you as a scapegoat so she doesn't feel so bad that she broke down and started up again.... i think she definately NEEDS to learn it's her responsibility to quit, and it's her fault if she breaks down....

i bet you she blames you for other shit that's her fault as well.... personally, if someoen can't take responsibility for themselves, i don't think they should be in a relationship...

[JaggedEdge]

That is what it sounded like to me too, Slip. Don't take offense to this, but it sounds like you have your hands full with her, and I would try and end the relationship.

You are being very mature about the situation, but because she is weak willed, she keeps pushing the blame on you.

[kdspecial]

i bet you she blames you for other shit that's her fault as well....


Thats pretty accurate in some select cases.

I wanna help and I want to be the strong Man with this, But I feel like in order to do So I have to step outside who I am and the foundation that I was raised and brought up with...

kd

[kdspecial]

You are being very mature about the situation, but because she is weak willed, she keeps pushing the blame on you.

Its tough for me cuz My mentality is too.

A - What is the problem how is it affecting Her and US

B - What did I do to make this happen and how can a change it

Then and I rarely get here

C - how does this affect me and just me...

I always look at everything else before I go to me. Thats just how I deal with situations.

kd

[stinkyattic]

We have never been good at talking about stuff,, She gets too angry flips out and I just trun right off in defense (Im patient and dont like to yell it doesn't help the situation) before anythign really gets talked about.. She gets mad. I withdraw cuz I don't know what to do cuz its so overwhelming. Then I bet she feels undervalued or somthign Shes always saying im not listening, The cycle continues...
kd
2 Different problems big guy.
^^^This is the one you have to worry about in your relationship.^^^^

She is finding it easier to blame you/weed/(I'll bet there's other stuff she blames too that you haven't mentioned) for her own inability to keep on top of personal goals and growth.

This is weakness on her part IMO and while we all get the luxury of our own little quirks, she is being unfair by blaming it on you.

BTW I believe that gardening is a totally worthwhile hobby; don't get rid of the grow box... she says she's smoking because she's bored... dare I say it... that she may simply be BORING? Sounds like someone needs a hobby... and it's not our dear KD.

It sounds like you have been very flexible in all this and unfortunately thsi may be sending a signal that all she has to do is throw a fit and you will change rather than have a confrontation about whatever is bothering her... it's a breakdown in your communication patterns... when she becomes angry and you shut down... if you are going to save the relationship you have to start by changing your usual method of solving problems together. Because the weed is like, NOT the biggest problem you're going to encounter in your relationship... I know you hope to buy a house some day... be ready for some SERIOUS problem solving... and if your current method of just caving to avoid confrontation keeps up, you're going to REALLY resent her in a few years. PROMISE.

[stinkyattic]

i bet you she blames you for other shit that's her fault as well.... personally, if someoen can't take responsibility for themselves, i don't think they should be in a relationship...
didn't even notice this...
lol it seems like we have some agreement among the amateur relationship counselors!

[kdspecial]

it's a breakdown in your communication patterns... when she becomes angry and you shut down... if you are going to save the relationship you have to start by changing your usual method of solving problems together. Because the weed is like, NOT the biggest problem you're going to encounter in your relationship... I know you hope to buy a house some day... be ready for some SERIOUS problem solving... and if your current method of just caving to avoid confrontation keeps up, you're going to REALLY resent her in a few years. PROMISE.

Hey Stinky....

yes this has bogged my mind many times,, I know there are some really hard things ahead ina life with somone. I have thought various times about houses Condos, Kids Familys, Money alone is a annoying a touchy subject.

Last time I stood up and was like fuk this Its not going down like this. She ran away. I pointed out some obious things that were wrong, I got slapped, A beer thrown at me and I was punched in the face. I kinda laughed it off hurting laugh though. But I was ready to lose it. My closet door paid the price. She left threating to leave saying shes not comming back (I said dont ever threaten to leave me thats childish. Espically for somone who tells you they want to marry you.) and later she came back we made up but didn't actully resolve anything. Because todays problem is still here..

Man this has got me really bummed out, I care so so much about things its a curse rather than a blessing. I love this gurl more than anything. We are best friends and to me thats the most important thing. Loveing is the easy part. Being best friends can take years to happen with some couples and it never happens at all with others.

Ahhh whata mind fuk,, Im meeting with my Pops tonight Kinda perfect timming. He hopfully will have something good to say..

Thanks for the inputs guys and Gals...
More is always welcome at this time....

kd

[slipknotpsycho]

I care so so much about things its a curse rather than a blessing

having the ability to care of more then yourself or what you want is a blessing.... the curse is the fact the person you choose to show this love to, doesn't seem to want it... or atleast, not unless it's in her terms.

[napolitana869]

I think it sounds like there are bigger problems that she isnt telling you and she's using the weed as an excuse to complain about something because she can't complain about whats really bothering her. It's possible that she doesnt know whats really bothering her but she knows that something isn't right. It sounds like she could benefit from individual counseling, and that you both could benefit from some type of relationship counseling to learn how to communicate better.

[kdspecial]

I think it sounds like there are bigger problems that she isnt telling you and she's using the weed as an excuse to complain about something because she can't complain about whats really bothering her. It's possible that she doesnt know whats really bothering her but she knows that something isn't right. It sounds like she could benefit from individual counseling, and that you both could benefit from some type of relationship counseling to learn how to communicate better.

Yes your pretty bang on about that one.

I myself have been to consoling before and know how much one can benifit from it.

With her its hard for her to even accept help from me. I mean I don't wanna list examples but there have been numerous times She has needed my help in many cases but will not ask, Or will ask and when I offer she gets offened.

She has done everything herself her whole life and its made her a stong person but there is nothing wrong with asking for help. I do it all the time.

im considering with all thats going (I mean im not sure what will happen tonight) If we do have any chance in resolving this Consoling should be on our TO DO List..

Loads to think about....

kd

[stinkyattic]

Last time I stood up and was like fuk this Its not going down like this. She ran away. I pointed out some obious things that were wrong, I got slapped, A beer thrown at me and I was punched in the face. I kinda laughed it off hurting laugh though. But I was ready to lose it. My closet door paid the price. She left threating to leave saying shes not comming back (I said dont ever threaten to leave me thats childish. Espically for somone who tells you they want to marry you.) and later she came back we made up but didn't actully resolve anything. Because todays problem is still here..
kd

You should have told her, fine, get out.
Think if you had slapped her and thrown a beer at her... and PUNCHED her in the face? WTF!
She shouldn't threaten to leave... she should just scrape together some dignity and DO it.
Because you have every right to throw her ass out. If she is already being violent with you because she doesn't know how to communicate, just imagine how she is going to deal with oh, say, disciplining your children when you have a family?!
Yeah.
Not cool.

[kdspecial]

ahh yeah,,,,,,

She felt pretty bad about that one... I said listen I understand you get angry and I know why you get so angry. I UNderstand YOU is what I said,, I think that made her more mad.. Its really just the truth. Somtimes the truth is hard for some to handle.

Ok guys and Gals I be back ina few hours I gotta do a Voice record,,

Thansk for the support guys and Gals Its really clearing my head up a bit,.

kd

[stinkyattic]

Back to work slacker!

[napolitana869]

You should have told her, fine, get out.
Think if you had slapped her and thrown a beer at her... and PUNCHED her in the face? WTF!
She shouldn't threaten to leave... she should just scrape together some dignity and DO it.
Because you have every right to throw her ass out. If she is already being violent with you because she doesn't know how to communicate, just imagine how she is going to deal with oh, say, disciplining your children when you have a family?!
Yeah.
Not cool.

thats a really good point. If she cant express her feelings to an adult, how will she be able to deal with a child?

[kdspecial]

Yeah I'm not sure what I'm gonna do.

Im really curious to see if she is gonna say anything or wait untill I say somthing. I am a great BF I rub her back everynight before Bed. Even when Im not going to Bed right that minute. I've always tried to do so much for US.. I think I've really not got too many choices...

Ither I accept it how it is and hope for cahnges and make some of my own as well. Or I get the fuk off the bumpy ass road.

kd

[stinkyattic]

Ither I accept it how it is and hope for cahnges and make some of my own as well.

Hm. Welcome to my world, bro.
Here's me over the last few years trying to rationalize staying with various loser exes:
"Oh he's still got some growing up to do"
"He's a good person, he just doesn't believe in himself yet"
"As soon as he has some stability in his life [provided by yours truly] it will be easier for him to become a better person"
... insert other dumb chick rationalization here... mostly of the 'I can change my man' genre....


Or I get the fuk off the bumpy ass road.
Bumpy ass? You mean... *GASP* Cellulite? There's moisturizers for that shit. hahaha

Here's a picture of what relationships can turn into if you aren't careful:
:beatdeadhorse:

[kdspecial]

yeah With Me I never count somone out... I don't like to Doubt people and I hate doubting myself. But this is becomming pretty constant. I have made more stability, I have done extra things outside the BF boundry for the better of HEr hopfing it will rub off on our relationship But there comes a time where you gotta say....

I don't deserve that./.. I would never treat somone like that.,So why am I allowing it to me.

You make too many good points Stinky... As well as the others.. I'm a wicked listener so I will listen tonight and go from there.. I have a feeling it wont be hard to hear.

thanks for all the support From all of you..

kd

[stinkyattic]

You're a sweetie and you need some sweetness back. Good luck.

[kdspecial]

So after a few days of thinking and discomfort in the aprtment air. You know the kind of air that is so thick you can feel it all the time.

I know I have always misunderstood my lady with some things and some messages I don't get b/c the way they are delivered or I have already shut down and am tunning her out.

Last night I had gone home with the intention of talking with her about what happens now. When are you leaveing and how and what do you need from me. She then turned to me. started crying and soobing etc. I didn't react all day I had been planning on being strong and not showing emotion So I was doing pretty good. She went for my hand and I pulled away She got really upset then. I started rubbing her back.

I started asking her some questions, slowly , What hurts? what do you feel? We both feel sad etc. Its hard. And a interesting answer I got from one question was...

"I'm sad becasue I have to leave and loose my future husband becasue of POT" She then explained since she meet me she has noticed I have really only smoked more pot. (Which is acurate) I have become more obsessed with it (Which is acurate) I started to grow it and make more and more plants (Which is correct) And when Im high somtimes I am very incoherrient and thats about 80% of the day some days. She can't get away from it like she needs too because I have it around. She says "It makes her depressed, LAzy anti social and Moody and she gets really angry at me for little reasons. And she really doesn't like doing that.

It kinda hit me then b/c I have had this sorta break down with a previous relationship. It was almost like a flash back.

She doesn't want it around because she doesn't want to smoke. She wants a better more clean life for me as well as her. Therefor hopfully improving our relationship and taking us to a next level in commitment and a better life.

It didn't hiut me untill she was abl;e to say it that way to me. The other times it was just yelled at me. THere was no emation except anger in the other times.

I love pot and growing etc. But I can't even argue that If I don't smoke it as often or at all I will have more energy, feel better and be able to make better more confident decisions. I have done well yes smoking every day since i was 15 (im 27 now) I have a great job I love Im stable etc. But lets all face it there are draw backs to this increadable lifestyle and drug we all are very fond of.

When I told her that I was seeing it this way now. That it had to do with me and US together. She looked at me as if "How couldn't you see that" She says it makes her moody which effects me.(very accurate) its makes her anti social, and lazy which also affects me (very accurate) and she says when she tells me things somtimes Im in a different world (which iss true as well) SO she says how can you not see that that affects you!!!

I had nothing to say really... Shes right. these things that I don't like about her she is saying are caused by her smoking. (weather thats the whole truth I don't know) BUt some of those traits come with smoking POt and that I do know. I even get moody when im high.

So now with this new information, or lets say understanding. Im sorta caught in a wall and a hard rock. Becasue I have been in this exact same spot 3 yrs ago with a love. That didn't end up well at all I lied and still smoked for 2 years without her knowing and the realtionshipo went to hell slowly and painfully. She didn't klnow I was smoking and thats not why we broke up but I had to live with the fact that I lied to her for 2 yrs. I learned a very good lession from that one. Lieing ina relationship only hurts yourself cuz when its all done you are the one who has to live with the guilt that you lied not the other person.

So I'm lost now because I am afarid If I give up POt and only smoke recationally, Which she said is cool. And I stop growing it and I kinda change my lifestyle a Bit WILL I RESENT HER FOR IT?

I feel im at the age where Pot really shouldn't be this important in my life that I have to lose another realtionship over it agian. But at the same time I feel I have to change myself and that is somthing Im not sure If I can comprimise. I can say in a second,, Oh yeah change no problem. But I am old enough now to know thoise are just words. and with my last GF I really did start to resent her over time because she was so closed minded about POt.

I ahve a great girl here a best friend, who isn't totally closed minded about POT She wants me to make some lifstyle changes which I now see isn't for her sole benifit only. But more for us to move foward as mature adults. And I see all the reasons why I should but still feel like I may not be able too.

I did ask her if she would come to consulling with me. She said yes right away. Which I was prety happy about I assured her it was for me. Cuz I don't undertsand some of the messages she is sending me. She kinda got defensive at that point and said if you don't smoke as much you will get the messages, geez... I had mixed feelings once that came out.

She then said she would think about it. She said that If I don't smoke Ill get the messages and I wont have to go to consullor. But I really have more of a motive to go for other reeasons as well for her and I. But I didn ask her "well before I told you why I wanted to go to a consulor why did you say yes right away?" She said "Cuz i'll do anything for you" that was comforting.

You see I know We will need consullnig even if its a just to be safe thing. I know it can't hurt regardless. Plus last tiome I quit for 3 months I needed alot of help. I even turned to Clonansopam and Effexor which was a big help but not exactly a perminant solution.

SO I guess what Im saying is should my thoughts change now? Has she really reached out to me and stripped down to really try and help me undersatnd the situation and her feelings for US?

Or has she just gotten scared that I really wasn't going to chase after her. like I usually do.

Any help is greatly appreciated,

kd

[action.420]

IMO, it all matters exactly how much this woman means to you and judging by your post it's alot. If you still want to smoke recreationally and she will let you then I mean it's at least worth a shot. No harm will come from trying to put down the herb on say the weekdays and only smoke on the weekends, you most likely will have a much more healthy lifestyle, and relationship. Just my 2 cents.

[stinkyattic]

Has she really reached out to me and stripped down to really try and help me undersatnd the situation and her feelings for US?

Or has she just gotten scared that I really wasn't going to chase after her. like I usually do.

Very interesting wrap up...

Don't know if you got my last email but that chasing bit... yikes. Deja vu.

Either way, the idea of only smoking on weekends isn't a half bad one as a compromise.

If she is serious that the reason she wants to you lay off the stuff is for a healthier lifestyle, don't forget that a lot of pro athletes still smoke... a healthy lifestyle goes much deeper... maybe suggest to her that you join a gym together or a cycling club, because then not only will you have something you can do as a couple, it is also healthy, and the social aspects of cycling clubs are totally great! Of course in my experience there's plenty of toking and beer there too, hahaha, but at least you earned it, right?

And then you are saying that you ended up on antidepressants last time you quit smoking? Well there again you guys have GOT to replace smoking with an activity if you want to really make a change.

Counseling... I hope she does not look at it as you have a drug problem and need help with that; if you are fighting depression or anxiety that's one thing and yea, I have had good luck with both therapy and stony indicas for my own anxiety problems... IMHO they both have a place in its treatment, far more than mainstream pharmaceuticals, which I look at as the least desirable option because of the side effects.

I still think you guys need a change of scenery... what's the chance you can get out of the city this weekend and go enjoy the springtime? If your relationship has become sitting on the sofa and smoking, what do you have left to do but bicker? I think in a successful partnership you have to really make an effort to DO things that keep reinforcing positive experiences and remind you why you like each other.

[dusto2k3]

I still think you guys need a change of scenery... what's the chance you can get out of the city this weekend and go enjoy the springtime? If your relationship has become sitting on the sofa and smoking, what do you have left to do but bicker? I think in a successful partnership you have to really make an effort to DO things that keep reinforcing positive experiences and remind you why you like each other.


Holy shit, that there should be set in stone.

Kd, best wishes, i wish i had some advise, but that there ^^is the best i've heard in a looong time.

[kdspecial]

I still think you guys need a change of scenery... what's the chance you can get out of the city this weekend and go enjoy the springtime? If your relationship has become sitting on the sofa and smoking, what do you have left to do but bicker? I think in a successful partnership you have to really make an effort to DO things that keep reinforcing positive experiences and remind you why you like each other.

I did get your email and thank kindly. You are a great friend. As our all my Cannabis community friends.

you are completely right. I have been trying to plan a little getaway for some time now. I have been so damm busy at work tho. But this has got to be it. I actully wanted to take her to see ROCK ON! The queen musical, You know a kind of fancy date where we get dressed up and stuff. Her and I needed new running shoes so unfortunatly I opted for that instead. But the show is still in the City for a hwile now.

I think tonight I will lay down all the cards, I really have nothign to lose. I will tell her exactly what I think we should do and show her that I really do want her and care for her. And I respect her wishes and understand NOw where she is comming from.

I think a trip to Naigra falls might be in order this weekend. The rainforest cafe is a great experience. If you have never herd of it I suggest looking it up on the NET and finding where one is you and the Yeag would love it. The bar has water that falls on the edges of where you sit just enough to be there but not enough for you to get wet. Its really amazing.

SO one thing that is kinda buggin me.. Well I just don't know what to do. I have told her that I still want to smoke occasionally, I don't wanna pay for shitty BUD. Espically when I have 2 SmahBErrys and a Papya at 2 weeks flowering. I think I am gonna ask her if its cool that I let these finish then I will diusmantle the Box and get rid of it. at least take it out of service. However I was thinking of maybe growing Strawberrys in there But I would have to reasearch on if i actully could.

If she doesn't go for that I will honestly understand and take the plants to a forest somwhere and stick them in the ground and let them die Or grow into the ground. I realize they would most likly die due to the shock but if they do work out they would go back into VEG state and be monsters by the end of the summer. I mean Gorillas.

But I will have to see,, Hey stinky just so I have a bit of bargening power. How long did these strains take to flower in your experience? 6 to 8 weeks?
I always pick em a little early anyways I try for the more heady high.

I really feel at this point I don't have much to lose. ither way,, A few weeds plants gone is't the end of the world. If it bring positive change to my lifestyle than that is only a gain. Change is difficult but I should welcome it as well.

I would be lying If I asid I haven't looked at my Smoking Habit and asked why I do it so often. As well why I like it so so much? Perhaps this time I will understand why I like it and maybe find out that I really don't need it in my life anymore. (I really doubt that last one tho)

Thanks for all the helps guys and Gals...Advice form friends is always a great thing We have some really great people on this site.

kd_special

[kdspecial]

Counseling... I hope she does not look at it as you have a drug problem and need help with that; if you are fighting depression or anxiety that's one thing and yea, I have had good luck with both therapy and stony indicas for my own anxiety problems... IMHO they both have a place in its treatment, far more than mainstream pharmaceuticals, which I look at as the least desirable option because of the side effects.



Ohh no its nothign like that, I think she understands that I really want some changes too and she knows all too well what I mean, But is scared to do so. I tried my best to let her know It was for me. and not her. But now thinking about it I shoudl have just been totally honest and said ITs for Both of us. ME and YOu

kd

[foxysox]

Heya KD, the Smashberry comes down pretty fast. Like, 6-7 weeks. Papaya is closer the the usual 8, but worth it.
I will never encourage an end to gardening! Even if you take the box out of service for a bit, hang on to the thing! And if you have mothers you like, keep them too... I hate giving up good genetics. F'real. I think you guys can come up with a better compromise... so you're runners? WTF, go running already! Taht way you won't be sitting at home smoking.
Niagara Falls... I've been there OH so many times but always with family, so it's just the boring tourist stuff; I did however have a lovely experience at one of the hotel bars where I went to get a break from my mother (and found my stepdad down there too, lol, and he isn't even much of a drinker)... well, the place set a new record for the number of fruit flies in one Wild Turkey Manhattan: 13!!!! I was very very excited; as a person with 10 years of bartending experience under my belt, I have never seen that many fruit flies in any single entire BOTTLE of the shit. And even worse, that the barkeep didn't notice as he was straining it out, and just served it, 'garnishes' and all!

[kdspecial]

Yeah I think I might keep all the supplys for the BOx but trash it. It needed better airflow anyways and I did needa bigger one for the small amounts of plants I grew.

yeah you know what Niagrar is kinda overrated. I just really wanted to eat at the rainforest resturant. It is such a cool experience there is a rain storm every 30 mins,, THunder and all The animals make noises and move too. As well I would be on the Canadian side,, Not sure what side your talking about but From what I can see the Candian side is much nicer to look at.

Ohhh another thing I like about Niagra is they have Dennys... yeah good Ol Americian Grade A Dennys. Its like the only one in Ontraio. Its so expensive too but so so good. I went ot the states one time for A trip and walked into Dennys I couldn't believe the pirce difference.

I mean a buger and fries at Dennys is like 11.00 CAD here. 11 bucks... Everything in Naigra is more expensive but thats pricey///

Im thinking theres gotta be a better place to go outside of Toronto.. Or perhaps a trip up the CNTower. I haven't done that for a long time and I bet she has never been up there. the resturant up there moves 360 ndegrees so you can see all over the city and surrounding areas while you eat. Ill figure somthing out.

Thanks for the inputs Guys and GAls

kd

[Hardcore Newbie]

Dude if you're in toronto you can just head to yorkville mall for the rainforest restaurant.

They have Denny's in Whitby by the Oshawa border just off the 401 highway :P

the weather's getting nice too, I'm not sure what you guys enjoy doing day to day but there's tonnes of stuff in the TO ;)

[stinkyattic]

I'm having a hard time seeing what's so great about Denny's... ???
I don;t get it! Around here, they're supa schwag.
We have a non-chain Denny's locally.. it USED to be part of the chain but was sold and they changed the menu... it's SO much better!

[kdspecial]

I had a feeling there wasa rainforest resturant in Toronto. I had herd that earlier I have also herd its not as nice as the one in Niagra. Its more to get away than anything.

Yes there is lots to do here in the city but I have lived here RIght downtown at MuchMusic for 4 years now. Im all Torontos Out. I wanna see a damm forest, perhaps a animal besides a street Rat, ShitGull or ShitHawk, Homeless person or Racoon.

Dennys just tases good to me Stinky Thats all. It brings back some memories of a different time in my life. I think thats really all it is. Its kinda like Pizza Even when its Bad its still pretty good.

kd

[stinkyattic]

lol @ bad pizza.
It magically becomes good pizza when you leave it in the fridge overnight and devour it for breakfast!
Get your butt up to the cottage district or whatever you weird Canadians call your version of the Adirondacks... rent a canoe... get eaten by blackflies... THAT'S what I call vacation!!!! I was up there last summer and let me tell you it is way more relaxing than stupid Niagara Falls will ever be, with all the bus tours and bluehairs in their comfortable walking shoes.

[kdspecial]

lol @ bad pizza.
It magically becomes good pizza when you leave it in the fridge overnight and devour it for breakfast!
Get your butt up to the cottage district or whatever you weird Canadians call your version of the Adirondacks... rent a canoe... get eaten by blackflies... THAT'S what I call vacation!!!! I was up there last summer and let me tell you it is way more relaxing than stupid Niagara Falls will ever be, with all the bus tours and bluehairs in their comfortable walking shoes.


you could not be more right.... I think I may just rent a car and Drive,, when I see a national park I will stop check it out and then get abck in and drive again.
kd

[stinkyattic]

Too bad the blueberries won't be ripe until August!

[Hardcore Newbie]

I love denny's too. I haven't had it in like... 8 months. Yeah I still love Toronto, there are some cool small parks around the city that i love going too. I've also been partially raised the woods, so I guess I grew up in both worlds.

Hmmm head to the toronto zoo in scarborough, head to centre island (I'm not sure if the ferry's are running yet, or even if they stop :P) but man the weather's been so nice. Roller blading around some of the paths outside the city is fun.

[Reefer Rogue]

Jah > Succubus

[LIP]

She sounds like shes mucking you about - and blaming you for her own actions. Where would it end? Would she blame you if she murdered someone. Ok, that's not the question - but if it was me i wouldnt take the messin about. I'd tell her to get her shit together or piss off out of my life.

[kdspecial]

She sounds like shes mucking you about - and blaming you for her own actions. Where would it end? Would she blame you if she murdered someone. Ok, that's not the question - but if it was me i wouldnt take the messin about. I'd tell her to get her shit together or piss off out of my life.


I see your point and I have my guard up trust me. If I change and there is no change she knows im done. She could tell last night I was done. She also mentioned this morrning when I left she said you don't seem sad if I leave or stay, I said I am sad forsure but I just can't take the same thing over and over anymore everymonth.

I said now that I understand better Iw ant to try again. I really think she knows where i am now.

But yeah I have my guard way up. I don't have anythign to lose but a feew plants. Plants can grow again a bestfriend isn't always replaceable.

kd

[stinkyattic]

If I change and there is no change she knows im done. She could tell last night I was done. .......she said you don't seem sad if I leave or stay,.....
Good good... don't forget your current resolve... how you feel at this moment... don't come back to this place where you are not sure, be SURE. Be sure it's working, or sure it's not. Remember the resolution you have made NOW.


Plants can grow again a bestfriend isn't always replaceable.

Aww KD you're a sweetheart.



.....



BUT DONT GIVE UP YOUR GENETICS YOU BIG GOOF!!!!! BOO!!!!!

[kdspecial]

Good good... don't forget your current resolve... how you feel at this moment... don't come back to this place where you are not sure, be SURE. Be sure it's working, or sure it's not. Remember the resolution you have made NOW.


Aww KD you're a sweetheart.



.....



BUT DONT GIVE UP YOUR GENETICS YOU BIG GOOF!!!!! BOO!!!!!



Yes i ahve talked it over with her last night. It wasn't easy and there was more fighting (klicking punching doors tables) but there also was resolve and acceptence. As well I herd this come out of her mounth after we had just argueed and yelled and etc...

Everything in the past is Done. You can keep your box, You can keep smoking. just not around me,

I said cool don't worrie Im only keeping it to finish this grow and start my tomatoes and green pepper plants. So 6 weeks tops.

Then She said I want you to think of Smoking Pot like you do with me when im smoking Cigereets (I distest cigs) It causes cancer and hurts you lungs and overall health. I want a Healthy long relationship. I have told her many times "I don't want to be sittiong by your bed side while your dying from cancer" "If that ever happens you will have such blame on yourself and you will be dying and all you will be able to think about is how you should have never smoked in your life time because all these people who care for you are here now standing beside you showing support and ultimatly you will feel like you let themn down by smoking.

I said cool understood That makes me happy to know you want a better and healthier life than what we have for US.I will use my vaporiser way more often since I will mostly be me getting high on my own late at night after you have gone to sleep.

Then she said this and this is what made me really happy "I need to help my self If I expect you to help me at all." I was like tooken away I kissed her like I kissed her on the first day we meet. It went even further to mad porno sex just like when we meet. To hear her say that was almost like I new beggining. Or as if she finally understoiod maybe why I have been so upset and frustrated.

I said to her This arguing and bullshit has to all go, If it happens again theres no talking, I will leav and expect you to leave as well. I will not consol you if you cry I will have no choice but to have no emotion at all. I am now so prepared for us to go our seperate ways. I have mentally and physically preparred for this for some time. This is our last kick at the horse. She agreed. I told her to sign us up for the cycling school by her work today and expect to get her asss up saterday morrning at 7am.

THanks for everyones thoughts and support on this site. Since this is a nhuge deal in my life. Im glad you all showed special interest in it as well. The fact that our fav past time Mary J was a main involver in this made this the perfect place toi turn to. I can't talk with most people about this shit cuz I don't want them to know about the POt thing...

Thanks for being there and comments everyone...

kd_special

Ohh yeah the genitics? I have lodas of seeds left,, IOm actully scoping out some outside spots Via satalit Images of some places I will be up north this summer. Cuz I aint going back to Paying for shit BEASTERS, I can't grow in side or around her but I can hook up with friends and split it and get good outsoor weed.

[foxysox]

Word KD you the man.
Handle your business.
You've got my support fo sho.

[Hardcore Newbie]

Haha I'd grow for you if I had the room to do it :P

[Weedhound]

Like Stinky said it seems to me that your friend has some growing up to do. Feel like raising her?

I'm seeing tons of control freak signs.....yes, no, maybe today. Plus the fact she gets physical when angry. No anger management issues there. ;) Got you jumping through some pretty good hoops doesn't she? Keeps you on your toes....and her in the drivers seat.

Stop buying into her accusations that it's your fault she's not happy. It helps to feed her delusion that she doesn't have to do any of the work here. Stop and ask yourself if you think you have done your best.....not how can you fix everything because you can't.

The real question is this. How happy are you in the relationship? Are your needs being met here? What are YOU getting out of this relationship? Amazingly....50% of this relationship is about you.

[stinkyattic]

Are your needs being met here? What are YOU getting out of this relationship? Amazingly....50% of this relationship is about you.

Yup it SHOULD be anyway.... but I think it has not been.

[Weedhound]

But now thinking about it I shoudl have just been totally honest and said ITs for Both of us. ME and YOu

kd

One point for her side. If you cannot be honest with her (and I assume that is due to fear of her reaction) that says something right there about how "deep" your relationship is. Ready to settle for that?