Been depressed lately..

[TheFatKid]

There have been lots of things going on. Mainly been having to deal with society, having weird thoughts about Columbine and Virginia Tech, but mainly life in general. There is no "=( i hate myself, my girlfriend of 2 weeks dumped me im gonna kill myself". I always have thoughts about what could be different in this world, or if people weren't such self-righteous(don't know if i used that correctly ) dickbags there would be less violence in the world, mass murders, murders, and suicides would barely happen. But whats really been bothering me is when I find myself pondering existence. It feels as if there is no point to living, since nothing is ever remembered in the end. Even the sadness it would make others feel wouldn't be felt when they are dead. I would try picking up religion, but believing in any kind of god really doesn't make sense to me. Today I've seriously considered suicide, but I know I definitely won't do it. What should I do?

[187]

i feel the same im really lost and it sucks

[TheFatKid]

I hate it dude, and no matter how much I think, I can't find another reason. The sad truth is that life really doesn't have a meaning.

[sttomassmoker]

yeah sure life has no real meaning but, come on man, it is amazing. I have been down the depression road real bad and still battle with it everyday (whee cymbalta sure helps :).

Things that really help depression are exercise, having a job you don't hate, getting out and going out of your way (not too far out of your way).

You gotta be aware of the astronomical importance of the fact that you are alive. It's not your duty to worry about all the stress in the world. You have to keep your head up and go get what you want. No matter how fucked up the world is, you are alive and you don't have much time here anyways.

You also have to be humble, keep yourself in check and always be on yourself to think straightforward and logically. We are animals living within a cage called human society, and all animals want to be free. You can't dwell on what it would be like if you were dead, you can't let the thought of suicide become your safety blanket for when you feel like shit.

Then is the same as now so you will always have good times and you will always have bad times. There is no point in dwelling on the bad just go with the flow and before you know it everything will be OK.

Appreciate the fact that you can see, smell, touch, taste and hear. Don't worry about the bullshit in the world, don't worry about nothin cause nothin is gonna be alright.

Beside's every viable young man and woman will be drafted to go fight the death wars in the middle east in a matter of years anyways.

[passitplz]

i know exactly how u feel... but really there is nothing u can do about it so u just gotta say fuck it and keep living. maybe one day we'll all figure it out

[Oneironaut]

Hey, welcome to the club. I've felt the same way before, about life being pointless and shit. And I've definitely had suicidal thoughts before too, although I could never actually kill myself.

When it comes down to it, your life is what you make of it. The fact that in a few million years there will be no sign you ever existed doesn't matter; a few million years ago there were no signs of any humans anywhere, and that clearly doesn't bother you. We, like everything else in the universe, are temporary.

Which, when you think about it, makes life a very precious thing. You only have this moment, right now, to experience anything. So what if your life doesn't have a point that was defined for you before you were born? Your life is as pointless as you perceive it to be. Purpose is a human concept; it is not something objective that is intrinsic to things. There is no purpose to an atom, or a rock, or a star, or a human being, besides the purposes that we humans ascribe to them in our own brains. I'm glad there is no predefined purpose to my life; that just means I have the freedom to live according to my own purposes.

Don't turn to religion for an answer; religions will only give you answers that were imagined up by superstitious dead people who said they had all the answers with enough certainty that other people believed them.

If there's anything this Virginia Tech incident has to teach us about the world, it's that the universe is completely indifferent to our wants and desires. There is no God up there making sure everything goes just right for you according to his divine plan. There is no karma making sure you get rewarded for all your good deeds. Religion is largely a way of pretending that the universe does care about us. In reality, though, we have to accept that the universe is indifferent to our emotions, and the only way to achieve more good emotions than bad is to work together to overcome the randomness of nature and tip the scales in our favor. Things will never be perfect, but with our capacity to think and to love our fellow human beings, it is possible to make the world a better place and increase our collective happiness.

And that is the meaning of my life. I want to use my capacity to think and to love so I can make the world a happier place for me and for other people.

[TheFatKid]

I agree with the point that we gotta try to make the best of life and shit, but the point I'm trying to get across is whats the point in all of it if it won't matter at the end? If I didn't have that thought, I'd probably be perfectly happy. I've asked other people if they feel the same way and if they often think about life and death, but they say no. Is it my intelligence and connections with real life events that are causing me this? I think it is. I guess ignorance is bliss.

[Oneironaut]

Who cares if it won't matter in "the end"? What's so special about the end? Live life now.

[TheFatKid]

Thats what I'm doing. Its hard to explain I guess. What I'm trying to get across is that life is basically one drunken night. You go to the party(become born), drink till your fucked off your ass(life), and wake up the next morning with no memory of what happened(death;"the afterlife"). Is there a point to living life if we will have no remembrance of it when we die?

[thcbongman]

Life is a mixture of great joy, suffering and most of all, a sustained period of limbo. It's happiness that matters anyway?

Even if we don't hear about it, death occurs around us, whether it's natural or caused by the human hand. You have to accept it as part of life, and pursue happiness. Because these events should make you appreciate that you are alive and kicking.

[Kenn]

I hate it dude, and no matter how much I think, I can't find another reason. The sad truth is that life really doesn't have a meaning.

sorry to hear youre so down FatKid ,life really is what u make it dude,i believe we all create our own destiny . Try thinking of somthing you want to be,or somewhere u wld like to go and put all ur energy into making it happen. you might be surprized how far abit of positive energy can take you.Ive got kids man so my life has a whole new meaning now and I love every minute of it.FatKid I ve read ur posts and you seem to be a pretty cool sort of a person ,I enjoy reading your posts so chin up buddy life aint that bad. Have you ever surfed mate that is a good way to work shit out in your head ,hit the waves.:thumbsup: :D

[Oneironaut]

Thats what I'm doing. Its hard to explain I guess. What I'm trying to get across is that life is basically one drunken night. You go to the party(become born), drink till your fucked off your ass(life), and wake up the next morning with no memory of what happened(death;"the afterlife"). Is there a point to living life if we will have no remembrance of it when we die?
No, there is no "point" to living life. No point that is inherently intrinsic to this phenomenon we call life. Life just happens.

We are the product of billions of years of Darwinian natural selection, which doesn't care whether or not you feel you have a point to living life. The main reason most of us don't commit suicide is because our genes wouldn't get very far doing that; we are programmed from birth to be deathly afraid of death.

If there is going to be a point to living your life, it's going to have to be a point that you invent for yourself.

[JackdaWack]

you dont have to believe that you will remember it or not, the fact is that your doing what your doing, and do what ever it is that makes you happy:hippy:

[TheFatKid]

I'm generally happy. I love to be happy. I normally don't keep myself down. I guess that place I want to be is enlightened to the true answers of life. I find enjoyment in philosophy, so maybe this is why. I've been exposed to a lot of things and mental issues that most people don't get until they are older, and I'm only 14. I can tell I am maturing faster than alot of the "smart" people in my AP classes for the sole reason that they just go with the flow, and follow all of their mainstream trends, and don't even ponder things like this. I really hate it.

[Oneironaut]

Hey, I'm 21 and I have the same problem. All my friends want to talk about mundane shit like who said what to who and how fucked up they got last night, while I'm thinking about shit like why there is something instead of nothing and how subjective consciousness can arise from physical flesh.

[TheFatKid]

It sucks being like this. I started smoking to get away from people like this, but its the same, weed or no weed. While I'm trying to read Nietchze, my friend is trying to tell me how much of a bitch I am because I hate being drunk or how I won't sneak out to go smoke with him.

[sttomassmoker]

reading existential shit leads to existential crisis'

what matters is that there is this human society and you are lucky enough to be in the part where you shit in a toilet inside a bathroom. It is your duty to either get your fair share of what is out there, devote yourself to those less fortunate than you, or a mixture of both.

It all doesn't matter in the end, but until that time...

leave the existentialism till your midlife crisis.

[thcbongman]

I'm generally happy. I love to be happy. I normally don't keep myself down. I guess that place I want to be is enlightened to the true answers of life. I find enjoyment in philosophy, so maybe this is why. I've been exposed to a lot of things and mental issues that most people don't get until they are older, and I'm only 14. I can tell I am maturing faster than alot of the "smart" people in my AP classes for the sole reason that they just go with the flow, and follow all of their mainstream trends, and don't even ponder things like this. I really hate it.

Ha!

We all go through different phases in life, some earlier than others. You truly can't believe you are the only one out there facing this. There are others like you. Man, don't take what you friends say to heart. They're still trying to figure out what's cool and what's not. Everyone at that age try to feel things out. All u gotta do is stand proud for what you like to do. Who gives a shit about what the dumbasses say. Do what you feel. :)

[TheFatKid]

Being in human society means shit if it won't be recognized by the infinite forces of the Universe.

[TheFatKid]

I know that I have one friend who thinks about shit like me, but the only problem is is that he started getting involved with the wrong people and all he does is smoke weed and occasionally other drugs.

[Demeter]

Hi Kid- You are an exceptional kid! You think deeply about life, but you are so young, you don't have as many years of experience to really get the verb aspect of life. Now you see it as a noun, a thing that must have meaning, rather than a glorious process of which you are an integral part...hey, nobody knows whether what we do matters (despite what we might believe, or fear), just as nobody knows if after death we become part of Spirit, or are just extinguished. It is scary not knowing.

Sttomassmoker makes sense. Stay away from Nietzsche for now. Read Rilke. More practical - getting exercise soothes the mental woes.
Any time spent in nature will conect you with a sense of grounding. Being sweet to people will bring a sense of purpose in the moment. There are all kinds of ways to calm a mind that is too smart for its own comfort.

Like you, I also have to deal with depression, and so I have learned the habit of actively searching out the good, which seems to help. It is too easy for my thoughts to turn despairing.

I think you are adorable and brilliant! I am sure there are many great things in your future- stick around and enjoy them dear:)

[TheFatKid]

Thanks Demeter. Best advice I've seen in this thread. I'm starting to feel a little better about this. I just want to know the answers I've been pondering for so long. I feel as if I need to live in solitude for a while and just walk wherever the wind takes me, and write about my findings.

[Demeter]

That sounds like a great idea! Writing releases the tangled thoughts and can be a wonderful creative outlet. Keep a notebook handy, take long walks, and follow your heart.
:jumphappy:

[TheFatKid]

But the one thing I disagree with is why give up Nietschze? I love his works, and I'm currently reading Thus Spoke Zaruthustra. Plus, isn't Rilke all poetry? I don't really enjoy poetry that much. Its ok at times, but not always.

[Matt the Funk]

Dude...i've been going through shit like this since I was born pretty much...So I think I can help. Bascially you just have to love life. Love what you know you have. Love what you can, while you know you can. Don't focus on being angry,depressed,spiteful,etc....be happy, but realize you probably can't always be happy. Sure there may be no "purpose" in life, but thats no reason not to live. There is no real purpose in anything, you just make whatever you want your purpose. All you have to do in this world is live, and die. What you do inbetween is up to you, I suggest you make the most of it.

[thcbongman]

You should also do one more thing.

Unleash that anger when playing your bass. You'll feel good. :)

[TheFatKid]

I guess that I should love life, which I am, but I don't think anyone has answered my original point. Why love which will not be remembered?

[Matt the Funk]

I guess that I should love life, which I am, but I don't think anyone has answered my original point. Why love which will not be remembered?You have to live in the present. Who cares about the far away future and past. You can learn from them but the past makes your present and your past+present make the future. Anyways, you will be remembered by people who love you. Until they die. If you care about people you aren't close with remembering you, then I just don't understand lol. It's like you want to be famous.

[geonagual]

"All paths lead nowhere, so take the one that has heart."

[AsianStoner420]

I guess that I should love life, which I am, but I don't think anyone has answered my original point. Why love which will not be remembered?

It doesnt matter, coz atleast u know the feeling of being loved and being inlove and that is the only thing that matters,... The thing that happening to you is happening to me too so i know the feeling.


All this advices really helped me out,...props to all of you,...

[sttomassmoker]

why love life when it all doesn't matter in the end?

that is really hard to answer. Become a nihilist, lol.

[Oneironaut]

I guess that I should love life, which I am, but I don't think anyone has answered my original point. Why love which will not be remembered?
Don't be any more concerned with the distant future than you are with the distant past. The present is all that matters. When you're gone, you won't be around to care, so don't worry about what happens after you're dead.

I love life because of all the things in it which make me happy. I don't think I need any more justification than that. Sure, it's all temporary, but I've accepted that. I don't care anymore. 2007 is what matters, not 800 BC or 1612 or 3495. The things that make me happy are out there, right now, and my life is an adventure to go in search of them.

[Demeter]

But the one thing I disagree with is why give up Nietschze? I love his works, and I'm currently reading Thus Spoke Zaruthustra. Plus, isn't Rilke all poetry? I don't really enjoy poetry that much. Its ok at times, but not always.

Nietzsche is great, but he was also a tormented soul, and perhaps not the bst thing to read when you feel down. Camus is better, more balanced, I think. If you don't like poetry, what about music? I often feel like music has the power to transport me to a better place. And then there is cake- ahhhhh!

Sometimes you just have to make time to have a little fun, whatever form that takes.

[Kid Dynamite]

Nietzsche is great, but he was also a tormented soul, and perhaps not the bst thing to read when you feel down. Camus is better, more balanced, I think. If you don't like poetry, what about music? I often feel like music has the power to transport me to a better place. And then there is cake- ahhhhh!

Sometimes you just have to make time to have a little fun, whatever form that takes.

I think music is a excellent way to centre yourself and get your frustrations out.I play drums, and there really useful when im angry or upset about something.

[kingkong.bomb]

Hey man, I used to be the same way. You'll find that you, and the other people posting the same thoughts are of the younger generation. So not to worry, you most likely will be able to eventually get over such harrowing thoughts. What lead me down the path of hapiness, is not being afraid of death! This changes your perception if life after death et cetera, really matters. The answer is, death is natural, and doesn't change why you can't be happy now.

[TheFatKid]

I do listen to music for those reasons, but sometimes it only leads me to think and stuff(Ambient; Klause Schulze, Tangerine Dream, Uruk Hai, Burzum, Ildjarn). However what cheered me up is that I finally realized everything in this world is related in some way, so everything I do affects it. It all comes down to the fact that we are all made up of atoms and energy, and I think Newton's(?) Law that states that energy and matter is never created or destroyed, so in some way the answers we seek are connected and will eventually reform and reform in infinite time until we unlock the door to all of our questions in life.

[Greenport]

Tibia - News (http://www.tibia.com)

has no point but its fun =D lol. i dun play it anymore tho :(

[BakedDaily0420]

hey man you seem like a cool guy and i would be your friend if I met you. I hate it when people are such assholes like you said they tell you to fuck off. It dosnt matter man because you wouldnt want to be friends with those type of people anyway. There the type that are gonna be 30 year old alcoholics who come home and beat there wifes. They thought they were the shit in highschool but that shit dosnt matter in the real world. Keep smokin and you will meet some good friends.

[TheFatKid]

I've pretty much gotten over everything, its just hard to deal with because I'm constantly thinking. I've failed tests because I think about stuff like this instead of pay attention to what we are doing. It really troubles me.

[Jay Matix]

If you have nothing to live for.
You better find something to die for.

[crudemood]

this thread cheered me up. you guys are really intelligent.. i love to have different perspective on things.

[Captain Hanks]

I'm a Christian with a heart full of faith. Problem solved, no need to even convince myself.

[TheFatKid]

I'm a Christian with a heart full of faith. Problem solved, no need to even convince myself.

PLease don't turn this into a religious debate, but I don't really see the point in believing in wasting a lifetime in having a set guideline on how to live your life, when you can be finding answers yourself.

[HeallyRi]

'Personal Ignorance' is the fall of every great thing in society. IMO :smokin:
If people were less self-centered, yes, maybe the world would be a better place.

I always visioned Utopia as a more true anarchist society, Self Governed; Such as, The Rainbows (Rainbow Gathering). [Except the whole 'free love' thing..not really for that.. lol]

[Coelho]

"All paths lead nowhere, so take the one that has heart."
"A man of knowledge lives by acting, not by thinking about acting."

Thats the best advice... but i think i need explain this... due the reasons given in my signature.

As demeter stated, we dont know if what we do matters or not, we dont know what happens after death... And probably we never will. So, dont worry yourself about it. I was very like you until very few years ago (im 24). I loved to indulge myself into this kind of thinking, and all the depression it would bring. Though i never wished to commit suicide, several times i did think it would be better. In that dark times i did read Nietzsche too, and it was one of the harmfulest poisons i ever tasted. I dont know how it didnt killed me.

It brings to the first advice i would give: Stop reading all this things. It may be nice, but it will poison you, sooner or later. For me it seems its already happening. Dont fill your mind with this dispairing thoughts, because they only will bring despair to you. Nietzsche was a heavily tormented soul, and so are his writings.

Second, and probably the most important. Everything we feel is inside our mind. We humans are constantly talking with ourselves into our minds. If we are happy, we start talking with ourselves about how we are happy, or why we are happy, or happy things, and then we keep feeling happy because of what we thinked, and we talk again with ourselves about being happy, and then feel happy, and so on... its an unending cycle. And the same happens when we are sad. We talk with ourselves about our sadness, then feel sad, then talk again, and feel again, and so on... the same cycle.

The better way to control it is learn to empty your mind. Its amazing how it works. As i stated before, i was one who liked to suffer, an ultra-romantic (as we learn in the literature classes). If i was living that times today, i think i would be even an emo. Then i learned how to stop to talk with myself. And man... it brought me and incredible serenity. Now is almost impossible for me feel sad, because when i start to feel sad and realize that im talking with myself about things which could make me sad, i just shut up my thoughts. Then i dont become sad anymore. Its not a very easy thing to have this mind control, but is completly worth the effort. Today i only allow myself to talk with myself about happy things, or neutral things, so i live happily.

And third, is about the path with a heart. To choose a path with a heart signifies to choose a way of life which will bring you happiness. Doing what you like to do, being with people you like to be, enjoying the life as best as you can. Our time here is very short, so why waste it suffering when we can be happy? Our life is upon our choices, so choose in a way to make your life as happy as you can. Cause, in the end, its all what matters.

Dont think about tomorrow, cause there is no warrant you will live tomorrow. Dont waste your time searching for a meaning for the life and waste the life itself doing this.
You may even realize, after long years of search, that the meaning of the life is simply to live. But then you will have wasted a lot of time, which will not come back. So, live today, be happy today, enjoy today.

There is a lot of more things i would write... but i think this post is long enough. I hope have helped you. I know very well how you feel and i would be very glad if someone had helped me, instead i had to do it by myself, as i did.

One more thing... if you like to read philosophy, try read Journey to Ixtlan, by Carlos Castaneda. There is a lot of philosophycal stuff there, probably as deep or even deeper than most philosophycal stuff we read. I say it because i did read a lot of philosophy, and did not find anything deeper, more rational and (in my opinion) truer than this.

And at last but not at least... keep smoking! The weed is one of the shorter ways to the wisdom and enlightenment! :rastasmoke::jointsmile::stoned:

[TheFatKid]

Good advice Coelho, but I don't completely agree. Living like this and thinking all thoughts, sad, happy, angry, its all fun to me. So it does make me happy learning about myself and about the mind. I'd rather sit up on a hill overlooking a city thinking and writing or playing guitar instead of a lot of other stuff such as watching TV, playing a sport, or even playing video games.

[Coelho]

Living like this and thinking all thoughts, sad, happy, angry, its all fun to me. So it does make me happy learning about myself and about the mind.

Well... then i think i didnt understand you well... you seemed (for me) to be struggling with dispairing thoughts, so thats why i gave that advice.
But if you are not, and just like to think about anything, happy or sad, and dont become controled by it, just think about, then its ok.
I like learn about myself and my mind too, and even if many things i think and realize about myself are pretty bad or sad, its good to learn them. Realizing things about yourself is the first step to improve, fix or change them.


I'd rather sit up on a hill overlooking a city thinking and writing or playing guitar instead of a lot of other stuff such as watching TV, playing a sport, or even playing video games.

Me too... i prefer thinking than anything futile... that things dont bring wisdom, enlightenment, or anything like this, and in my opinon are just an waste of time.

[TheFatKid]

I was struggling at that time, mostly just wondering though. I was just thinking that life is pointless. Sometimes the thoughts drive me to concentrate too hard on it, but thats only sometimes. Over this weekend and learning more about Columbine and VT I've realized that a little kindness goes a long way. I no longer make fun of people for no reason. I don't even talk about them behind their back. Its just wrong and causes too much trouble.