your favorite insults: funny remarks.

[smoking habit]

Mine at the moment would have to be.

You're as worthless as a VCR.

y'alls?

[The Figment]

One I heard not too long ago...

Collage kid haning out of car,Hollering at Cute Coed,"Hey Baby,Where you been all my life?"
Coeds Answer, "At your House diong obcene things to your mother with a fork!!
I laughed so hard I had to sit down!

[PigSnout]

Do I come to your job and knock the dick out of your mouth?

[rebgirl420]

Go get lupis

[Nochowderforyou]

Suck it up princess. :D

Has cocksucking made you deaf? (say that to a guy, they lose it! :p)

Don't piss in my ear and tell me it's raining

[rebgirl420]

say to a guy: Did it hurt?
Guy: Did what hurt?
You: The anal?
Guy: WTF ewww
you: well did he at least give you a reach around?
guy:f-you
You: well I see he didnt use the lube

[AKA MariJane]

my cousin's girlfriend told him he looked like a miscarriage

[Nochowderforyou]

You're the cum your mom should have swallowed. :p

[higher4hockey]

you should have been an abortion.

[BizzleLuvin]

You're as worthless as a VCR.


GAHAHAHA!
sometimes i call my little brother a filthy tampon.

[Jennifer K]

Oh shit must have been the ambien.:silly: :stoned:

[Psycho4Bud]

Your momma must have took one in the ass to have a piece of shit like you!:cursing:

The best part of you slid down your mommas' thigh and left a brown spot on the sheet!:cursing:

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[Reefer Rogue]

Your mum's an afghan monkey with a wooden eyebrow

[Whos Carl]

If your IQ was any lower you would need watering. I think thats a good insult.

[Mcnizzlebery]

My friends are always coming up with fat jokes for me. A few of my favorite is- Mcnizz, you should enter the worlds strongest man competition... not as a participant, but as a weight for them to life.

[LIP]

If your IQ was any lower you would need watering. I think thats a good insult.

That's a good one, and im gunner use it when i see my mate John next. He's a bit slow. He ate a shroom omlette with i dont know how many in it and he's never been the same, alot like my other mate Dion - i heard from another mate that he got pissed the other day on his bike, fell off in the town center, sat on a bench, passed out, had his bike nicked and when he woke up lit up a joint with 2 foot cops standing behind him.

[slipknotpsycho]

you smell like a dirty pillow (lol ever smelled someone else's pillow? some people's pillows fucking stink!)

when i was in all of 2nd grade a fifth grader tried to tell me a seat on the bus was his.. i looked at him and said "were you born that stupid or did your mom just drop you on your head too many times" .... lol even his friends were going "oooooo and laughign at him" he hit me for it o.0 one single punch in the chest, didn't hurt that bad, i smiled and kept my seat.

looks like the best part of you ran down the inside of your mothers leg. or something to that extent, can't remember the exact wording

last night your sister/mom blew me so good she sucked the sheets into my ass.

in response to "mother fucker": a mother fucker i may be, but atleast the mothers i fuck don't belong to me, btw tell your mom hi for me.

in a piss poor attempt of a chinese guy speaking english "your momma so fat, she jump up and get stuck"

[ToDrunkToFish]

Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air? Ha...

[timothylearyisdead]

Why don't you make like a tree and fuck off!
-Ricky from Trailer Park Boys

[Dro_Princess]

your as ugly as a penis wrinkle.

[potsmokingnome]

Your nothin but a a puss infected cum bubble ;)

[killerzland]

ur moms so harry, her nipples have afos LLOLLL

[BabySnookums]

pull your lip over your head and swallow


also, somethin random my dad used to say:

"siss on you pister, go in your own jack yard and back off"

used to confuse me till i "un-dyslexic'd" it LOL

[weedmaster]

"your a anal dwelling butt monkey" thats my fav insult for my boss.

[Podge_Boro]

your dada said you were a waste of a good night

when i get called fat i have the comeback "im only fat cos every time i fuck your mom she gives me a biscuit"
or if i get called short "only cos every time i fuck your mom she pats me on the head"

iv got some more but my minds gone blank at the moment

[smoking habit]

BAHAHAHAHA. you look like a miscarriage, that one is by far my favorite so far.


some of y'all got good ones.

[rebgirl420]

you smell like a dirty pillow (lol ever smelled someone else's pillow? some people's pillows fucking stink!)

when i was in all of 2nd grade a fifth grader tried to tell me a seat on the bus was his.. i looked at him and said "were you born that stupid or did your mom just drop you on your head too many times" .... lol even his friends were going "oooooo and laughign at him" he hit me for it o.0 one single punch in the chest, didn't hurt that bad, i smiled and kept my seat.

looks like the best part of you ran down the inside of your mothers leg. or something to that extent, can't remember the exact wording

last night your sister/mom blew me so good she sucked the sheets into my ass.

in response to "mother fucker": a mother fucker i may be, but atleast the mothers i fuck don't belong to me, btw tell your mom hi for me.

in a piss poor attempt of a chinese guy speaking english "your momma so fat, she jump up and get stuck"

OMG IM USING THAT IN MY PROFILE!!!!!!! hahah and WTF are you doing smelling pillows?

[AsianStoner420]

"You lactose intolerant fuck, here's 10 bucks and buy urself a life" my fav,...

[PureEvil760]

Person1: Your an asshole!
Person2: Well its better than being a whole ass.

[Stoner369]

That's a good one, and im gunner use it when i see my mate John next. He's a bit slow. He ate a shroom omlette with i dont know how many in it and he's never been the same, alot like my other mate Dion - i heard from another mate that he got pissed the other day on his bike, fell off in the town center, sat on a bench, passed out, had his bike nicked and when he woke up lit up a joint with 2 foot cops standing behind him.

LOL!!!

[Silent Wolf]

In your head, shit builds dams and piss runs in rivers you dumb fuck!

[go toke up]

well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.

you are so fat that you masturbate to cookbooks.

[Blowboy]

If you shut up, I'll give you ten points!

[Gatekeeper777]

If your children are 1/2 as ugly as you they should get disability cuz your one ugly woman. Did you hear me mom?

[Dutch Pimp]

...useless...as the tits on a boar hog...:thumbsup:

[GreenLadyOfDankDowns]

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.

[Jaerl]

Normally to friends I either call em Fishfuckers,

Or I tell them to go fist themselves, it's funny when sumone hears that for the first time.

[potsmokingnome]

When my x calls me an asshole, I ussually respond: "I Got one might as well use it!"

maybe a bit lame but I like it :D

[Jderringer]

You're such a waste of existence, that you're making God cry...

It's hard to believe that the sperm that sparked your existence was indeed the fastest one...

A retarded, crack addicted chimp would do a better job than you...

Your lack of intelligence must be a result of too few forks in the branches of your family tree...

The fact that you weren't still-born is conclusive proof that life isn't fair...

Yeah... It's really too bad that your mom and her brother didn't figure out what birth control was until you came along...

[Turtlepik]

One I stole and have used at work. (can't remember where I first heard it)

Me: What would you do if I called you a cunt?
My boss: I'd fire you.
Me: And what would you do if I just thought you were a cunt?
My boss: Well I couldn't do anything.
Me: In that case, I think you're a cunt.

I didn't get fired. Just.

[kingjustin]

this thread is fuckin great.:D

I hear you were born on a farm. Were there any more in the litter?