DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY!!!??

[bluntman 420]

im really depressed and anxious. when i wake up i jus wanna go back to sleep. dont wanna go out anywhere in public. dont even wanna see my family. i dont know why im so depressed and anxious. been like this for a good 6 months now. weed helps alot, makes me normal. but its not strong enuff anymore. i think i need to go see the doctor. i had a few bad panic attacks. just thinkin about getting old and dying. really fucks me up. anyone else like this? or have depression and anxiety? any good med suggestions? thanks.

[Matt the Funk]

Abilify helps. Mmm heard good things about effexor too. Weed is the best med IMO. I suffer from either schizophrenia or bipolar and severly bad anxiety. Abilify helps get rid of thoughts like that, and anxiety.

[bluntman 420]

hey thanks alot man. xanax and weed usually make me pretty normal. im going to suggest to him that he prescribes me xanax. but if not i just want something that works and makes me normal. i dont wanna think this way and be so depressed. :( im not suicidal tho so its all good.

[Matt the Funk]

Yeah xanax DEFF helps with anxiety and insomnia. Although the doc probably won't prescribe it, lots of bad rep behind it.

[notransfer]

my friend basically had exActly what you had/have with a peppering of suicidal thoughts...

hes on prozac and a xanax substitute...he had side effects for about a week then felt great.

gl

[Prunedale]

I'm in a similar situation bro, but I've been training my brain to control my thoughts. Even though its hard at first its better for my health because I attract good things that I think about. COnstantly thinking about those good things, and trying to draw on times when I was joyous, like when I beat the opposing team to the net and score to tie the game and send it into a shootout or something like that. I celebrate with my hand to get that victory back and that emotion. That tells me, I was here and I made a mark. And wether I die today or years from now, I will have made a mark.. So i'm happy. I now regained the ambition to actually want to leave a larger mark now.

Somedays though I quit. And I start to feel sorrow and feel down on myself. Weed helps but it also is hard to be motivated and social, which is important. Finances and things like that will get you into negative mode and you need to rememeber.. Fuck that shit.. Its only numbers and they can't take your life. Beat the game, Careful with the xanex and prosac, the both fuck with your sexual life which is a fucked up thing. Not being able to get off. Thats an irritant in itself. Get a workout either doing good labor in your yard or go running, smile even when you aren't not happy bro. Smile at yourself in the mirror and make yourself laugh.. And then get stoned one day.. Sit and look up in the sky. Think of a light inside you near your heart/chest area.. Your light feels dim doesn't it?? Well it turns out you can get real bright real fast by looking up and just laughing as hard as you can.. Once you get going you'll forget what you were laughing about and you'll go off. If you really try it. You'll know. Because the body will feel so much different after its done laughing like that. You're days ahead will magically seem to be attracting pleasant things, and make you want to go expose yourself to more possibilities. The day will come where you can't wait to jump outta bed. You set your alarm clock for 15 minutes before you have to wake up and you are hitting the email or office errands earlier since you gained 15 minutes in your day.. Thats an hour and 15 minutes a week. And in spurts those 15 minute workouts or grow-room sessions or mental coaching (btw mental coaching is best right when you wake up.) It sounds like you don't want anything at the moment. You gotta remember what you wanted bro.. And keep thinking about it. And go get it. Fuck everything else that brings you down, its a given, its easy to lay down and submit and just close your eyes to the world and fuck it for being so.. the way it is. and fuck the anxious feelings we have, which is why I support Cannabis in the first place. I need to be calmed down (nerves) I shake constantly and I'm slightly paranoid and ocd. Insomnia, panic attacks,, yea all that. Cannabis saves my life.. I would be beating up on myself all day long, complaining about nothing and just promoting myself into nagativity, and what I Need to be doing is smoke, forget that shit, and work on things everyday a little bit at a time, to get better at the talents I have and the relationships that I'm building. Your leaves are wilting and needs some water and fresh air.. Smile take a deep breath and try to get yourself into keeping busy brother.. Let me know how your doing.. Good luck...

Try Valerian at night to get ready for sleep
and St. Johns Wart to help promote good moods.

Thats all I've been on, and I've been ok lately.
Trying to find a job atm so thats kinda stressful.
Confident though since I have my plan.
I can't fall if I follow my plan.

[Pezzo]

I'm in a similar situation bro, but I've been training my brain to control my thoughts.

same here man, only i hope mine is due to me age... most ppl get it around teenage years (hormones n shit) how old are u?

Ive also layed of the weed for a bit dont think that was doin me any gd

[exhashsmoker]

Dude I was going through exactly the same thing as you for like four months and I felt like there was no way out! You should see your doctor for advice,I was subscribed xanax but I didn't take it much only if I felt a panic atttack coming on. Its not good to be taking those things because they alter your mind and you may become dependant on them!

Listen to prunedale he has the right idea..fill your mind with good thoughts if you are feeling bad,think about good times and you will feel good..eventually you will forget your worries..people really under estimate the power of positive thinking! Its all life training and everyone goes through it in one way or another. I feel much better now because of it and I know I can handle it if it ever comes back again!

Talking is the MOST important thing to do, I cant stress enough how important it is to talk to people about your feelings and im not talking about online I mean your family or friends or if you dont feel comfortable talking to them go and see a counsellor it makes a huge difference trust me on this!

Remember this is completely normal and you are one of hundreds of millions who go through it but let me say again it is extremely important to talk!

Peace!

[missybit]

go to the doctor, and be upfront with your marijuana smoking - if you're going to be prescribed meds to change your brain chemestry, your doc needs to know everything you're on, including herbs and supplements.

effexor has been a great help for me, because in addition to increasing serotonin levels (to make you less depressed - this is what prozac, paxil, etc do), it also acts on norepinephrine, which increases motivation. i can go into way more detail on this if you like.

xanax and ativan are often prescribed for panic, and they help, but it's important to include therapy to learn how to deal with them. try to find a cognitive behavioral therapist; they will retrain your brain. remember: when you're having a panic attack, you may feel like you're going to die, but you're NOT. remember to BREATHE. a panic attack will not physically hurt you, and it gets better after you really, truly understand that.

[stinkyattic]

I'm in a similar situation bro, but I've been training my brain to control my thoughts. Even though its hard at first its better for my health because I attract good things that I think about. COnstantly thinking about those good things, and trying to draw on times when I was joyous,......
Get a workout either doing good labor in your yard or go running, smile even when you aren't not happy bro. Smile at yourself in the mirror and make yourself laugh.. And then get stoned one day.. Sit and look up in the sky. Think of a light inside you near your heart/chest area.. Your light feels dim doesn't it?? Well it turns out you can get real bright real fast by looking up and just laughing as hard as you can.. Once you get going you'll forget what you were laughing about and you'll go off. If you really try it. You'll know. Because the body will feel so much different after its done laughing like that. You're days ahead will magically seem to be attracting pleasant things, and make you want to go expose yourself to more possibilities. The day will come where you can't wait to jump outta bed. .,......
Confident though since I have my plan.
I can't fall if I follow my plan.

What a great post!!!

I have been deling with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks for a long time... depression more in the past, but the anxiety problems persist.

Joining a cycling club really helped with the depression- between the comraderie and the exercise and the fresh air, it was wonderful!

The anxiety and panic though were very hard to work with.

First they put me on zoloft. It made the anxiety WORSE!

Then I started seeing a therapist who I think was better for me and we started working with Celexa, which was GREAT for the anxiety but made me feel foggier than I like to feel, and also biweekly therapy sessions, which for some reason I found very relaxing, a total 180 from my previous doc.

Shit happened in my life where I knew I was going to have to break up with my ex, and the celexa made me just too meh, like I didn't give a shit, and I went off it to get some scrappiness back. Strangely, between the therapy and regular smoking of heavy indicas right before bed, and a decrease in alcohol consumption, the anxiety is almost gone and the panic attacks have not returned.

Just a personal experience. I can't stress enough that the most important tools you have are 1) A kind and understanding therapist and 2) your own inner strength!

[mrdevious]

Sorry to hear about your situation bluntman, depression/anxiety can be a real bitch. One thing to keep in mind though, don't ever let some asshole tell you that you're feelings aren't valid and you have no right to be depressed; you know, "80% of the world has it harder than you, people are starving and being killed etc etc etc...". Hapiness simply isn't attainable when you have a neurochemical imbalance, and chemicals are really all there is to it. All it takes is a seratonin drop and you'll feel just lousy. But moving on...

First of all I want you to know that while you may need medicinal help right now, it's not necessarily something you'll always need. I struggled with depression and axiety really bad since I was 13, and was on all sorts of drugs for years. The past 3 years I haven't been on anything simply because I found buddhism, which appears to entail a rather unique form of psychology. You'll undoubtedly need to find your own path, but I can tell you that learning how to observe the mind and control your perceptions is really important. By learning how to do that, I've kept my depression minimal by the power of my mind alone. You, or anyone else, can definately learn how to do this.
I would recommend learning some meditation and exploring different avanues of it. Just remember during you practice that it's not about where you're able to get (mentally), it's about learning to still and control your mind, guide your perceptions, and above all learn to really see your perceptions so as to know how to guide them properly. Eventually when you have an emotional crash you'll be able to bring yourself back, mentally, to that point of mental clarity... even if you can only view it through a window for the time being, so long as you're looking at it.

Nutritionally I recommend:

- Cutting out food products with red dye. Red dye is detrimental to emotional stability and also rather carcinogenic.

- 100-200mg sublingual (under the tongue) vitamin B-12.

- Reduce strait-carb foods like pasta, bread, etc. and eat more fruits and veggies. The fruits are mainly what you want to supplement the energy though.

- Recognize a sugar addiction. Sugar is, putting it one way, addictive as hell. When you eat a lot of strait-suger (sodas, candy, chocolate) your body gives you an insatiable craving for it as it grows dependant on frequent doses of instant-energy, rather than healthy doses of gradually-released energy. You'd be surprised how much this kind of diet can increase anxiety. If you have a really bad sugar craving, take 2,000mg chewable vitamin-c and your body will actually supplement the carbohydrates with the ascorbic acid for energy. It's much healthier, you're not anywhere near an unhealthy dose at that much, and it works.

And the last thing is to get active. But heck, who really feels like getting active most of the time right? So don't worry about going out for runs and lifting weights if you're not up to it. Do gradual and relaxed excercises, you'd be surprised how much of a workout they can give you for a while. I personally can't excercise hard or I end up injuring my spine, so I shoot hoops in my front driveway, play with the hacky-sack, and go for a brisk walk with friends whenever possible. It all works well and has gotten me in shape.
If you do feel like having a harder workout, just try situps, pushups, arm curls, all that good stuff. The endorhpine rush is worth it alone, makes you feel all around pretty good.


I hope you get past this man, I have absolute faith in your ability to do so. Remember that you will get past it eventually, you just don't know when yet. When you plummet emotionally, recognize it as a seratonin drop and don't let yourself believe "this is me". Trying focusing on your breath, really focusing on it going in and out and let your mind become still as it envelopes your attention.

You can't fail to reach your goal if you don't stop pushing toward it.

[Souproller]

Just been looking at this site for a couple of days but have to post here going through a tough patch myself and with crazy mood swings and depression its kinda sad but true reefer makes you feel 'normal.'

[MOBABN]

ive been on lexapro for a few months now, feel better than ever. My anxiety attacks and depression were so severe it caused stomach ulcers. Go to your doc soon ask them about lexapro it def helped me man.

[TheSmokingMonkey]

I like Xanax but it's only good for acute attacks. You might want to try an SSRI.

[CheebaMan]

ive been seein a psychiatrist and psychologist and theyve said that people who have very light symptoms of depression in their earlier stages when smoking marijuana it can actually bring the symptoms out more severely to the point of notice. marijuana is a depressant after all. It is also said to deplete serotonin levels in humans brains which has to do with motivation/happiness whatever... ever since i smoked weed this shit has occured juss feel hopeless, and it is very hard to reverse without prescription use...see a counselor

[RyanTheCaveman]

yeh i have it to. i hate that i do too but its like i cant help it. im nto emo or anything or do anything for attention. but i am really deeply depressed. im thinking suicidal thoughts and i really want to die. but i know it would kill my dad. sometimes i think i wont make it in life and stuff. i wont tell anyone im depressed because they would think differently of me. i have changed alot recently...and i think thats why my gf broke up with me. even though i still have feelings for her.
i just wish i could fall asleep and not wake up.

take care man,
ryan

[mrdevious]

yeh i have it to. i hate that i do too but its like i cant help it. im nto emo or anything or do anything for attention. but i am really deeply depressed. im thinking suicidal thoughts and i really want to die. but i know it would kill my dad. sometimes i think i wont make it in life and stuff. i wont tell anyone im depressed because they would think differently of me. i have changed alot recently...and i think thats why my gf broke up with me. even though i still have feelings for her.
i just wish i could fall asleep and not wake up.

take care man,
ryan

I've felt like that too, thinking I won't make it in life. But as I've learned over time, shit tends to come up that you don't expect and can get the ball rolling again.

[beautiful disaster]

I'm so sorry for all you are going through. :(

I have taken various SSRIs and such throughout the years (I have social anxiety and acute anxiety attacks).... and Lexapro (which I am currently taking) has been WONDERFUL. I also take the occasional Xanax to help me with acute attacks and/or insomnia.

Good luck... hope this helps you. :)

[thenicksmokes]

Ryan and 420 you both need to see MD's. Your brain chemistry is out of wack and it is not yoru fault. You do not have to sufffer with this. My advice is see the MD--tell him you smoke weed, otherwise he won't give you the right med. Second, realize your situation will change for the better! Nick

[RyanTheCaveman]

Nah,no way im telling anyone.
weed and others drugs help me though...but i haven't had any weed or anything in like weeks(out of money)...im going crazy man.
im really depressed. im not telling anyone this though. im seriously thinking about later on just getting a belt and hanging myself...my heads all fucked up.
too many problems i have right now. besides i would rather die anyway.

i need help but meh...i think death would be the best way out.

[Pezzo]

^^^ no what ya mean man

[CheebaMan]

Ryan and 420 you both need to see MD's. Your brain chemistry is out of wack and it is not yoru fault. You do not have to sufffer with this. My advice is see the MD--tell him you smoke weed, otherwise he won't give you the right med. Second, realize your situation will change for the better! Nick

i love this answer


look ryan, i know you hate hearing this but weed could actually be contributing to your problems, suppose ure away and have no weed, what will u do?

[Cornelius]

At my university I have done lots of research (I study psychology and neuroscience) and I recently wrote a paper reviewing a treatment for depression that is more effective than antidepressant medication and has fewer side effects. My focus was Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT). It may sound crazy, but I have reviewed the research and found it solid, leading me to the conclusion that it is a safe, effective treatment for depression and the depressive part of bipolar disorder.

New research has revealed part of the mechanism by which it works, which is stimulating glial cell growth in the prefrontal cortex. If anyone would like to know more, I can post my paper along with the references to relevant articles.


On a more personal note, I just want to say it will be ok. I experienced a week of depression a couple years ago, and I must say I was amazed at its power over me. Of course I was also absolutely miserable. I remember weed did help some to ease my pain, but it was no cure. Luckily I came out of it, but certainly with a changed perspective on mental disorder. I feel for you, and i know that it doesn't feel like it right now, but it will be ok.

[RyanTheCaveman]

Well. i was gonna attempt to kill myself today. but i was thinking about everything.
so i decided to tell my ex-gf about my feelings toward her. so i feel better now.
she was part of the depression. i still have other problems to assist to.
but for some reason. facing problems head on works alot better than drugs.

[ckoutlaw]

I had a similar problem. The symptoms you describe sound like some i was feeling a lil while ago. To be honest, no pills i took helped. I took Abilify (FUCK THAT) made me feel as if I was NEVER comfortable and I always had to be moving. Effexor my sis takes and she has extreme anger issues. gets mad at stupid stuff and it gets annoying actually. I use greenz, but I use em effectively. You cant use it as an excuse to just smoke 5-6 times a day. I tried and it fucked up my tolerance and I found i feel MUCH better if I smoke fewer sessions/amount. I try to keep it to 2 and always try to have about a day or two maybe three of "sober" this keeps your tolerance low and allows you to keep enjoying the high. When i smoke 5+ times a day my tolerance was fuckin high and I was getting annoyed kind of. My moods were alwas mellow. The day or two i didnt smoke made me feel great.

[scStOnEr]

I can relate with the depression and anxiety. I have Bipolar type 2, and GAD pretty rough. Should definitely watch the benzos (xanax, etc). I've been taking them once a night as prescribed small dose and i have started going through tollerance withdrawls. Feel horirible, starting slow withdrawl next week. Antidepressants help quite a bit if you dont have a manic response. Get an appoitment with a psychiatrist and talk options over.

[moeburn]

Jesus fucking christ are you people actually encouraging benzos like XANAX?!

I can't think of any drug more addictive....

Antidepressants are more likely to make your situation worse than better. Sure, there are the rare few people who seem to live happy lives for years on antidepressants. But it isn't worth taking the risk. That's 3 weeks to get on the drug, 3 weeks to get off, and if you're NOT the person who benefits, you're way more likely to commit suicide.

Honestly dude, if you're using weed to help you escape from your mental troubles, you've got a problem. You can't tell WHY you are depressed or anxious because your thought process is a little fogged up from so much pot. Lay of the pot for a week or two. Get some exercise. Hang out with some old friends, or make some new ones. Do something you love. If the insomnia really bothers you, pick up some melatonin strips. They aren't
addictive, they just give you the same sleepiness as weed but without the high.

If you're having trouble digging into your own thoughts, perhaps even trying something spiritual perhaps? Maybe trying another plant and/or fungi? (I am specifically referring to the cultivation of sage and portabello, deliciously made into a meal)


But for god's sake man, don't use weed to escape. That's like using a cement mixer as a getaway car.

[Matt the Funk]

Jesus fucking christ are you people actually encouraging benzos like XANAX?!

I can't think of any drug more addictive....

Antidepressants are more likely to make your situation worse than better. Sure, there are the rare few people who seem to live happy lives for years on antidepressants. But it isn't worth taking the risk. That's 3 weeks to get on the drug, 3 weeks to get off, and if you're NOT the person who benefits, you're way more likely to commit suicide.

Honestly dude, if you're using weed to help you escape from your mental troubles, you've got a problem. You can't tell WHY you are depressed or anxious because your thought process is a little fogged up from so much pot. Lay of the pot for a week or two. Get some exercise. Hang out with some old friends, or make some new ones. Do something you love. If the insomnia really bothers you, pick up some melatonin strips. They aren't
addictive, they just give you the same sleepiness as weed but without the high.

If you're having trouble digging into your own thoughts, perhaps even trying something spiritual perhaps? Maybe trying another plant and/or fungi? (I am specifically referring to the cultivation of sage and portabello, deliciously made into a meal)


But for god's sake man, don't use weed to escape. That's like using a cement mixer as a getaway car.

NOthing helps my anxiety besides benzos and weed....

[Matt the Funk]

I had a similar problem. The symptoms you describe sound like some i was feeling a lil while ago. To be honest, no pills i took helped. I took Abilify (FUCK THAT) made me feel as if I was NEVER comfortable and I always had to be moving. Effexor my sis takes and she has extreme anger issues. gets mad at stupid stuff and it gets annoying actually. I use greenz, but I use em effectively. You cant use it as an excuse to just smoke 5-6 times a day. I tried and it fucked up my tolerance and I found i feel MUCH better if I smoke fewer sessions/amount. I try to keep it to 2 and always try to have about a day or two maybe three of "sober" this keeps your tolerance low and allows you to keep enjoying the high. When i smoke 5+ times a day my tolerance was fuckin high and I was getting annoyed kind of. My moods were alwas mellow. The day or two i didnt smoke made me feel great.
Abilify sucks.I think weed is a good natural alternative to depression and all types of anxiety.

[sgS2]

I suffer from either schizophrenia or bipolar and severly bad anxiety.

lol u weren't professionally diagnosed, you don't even know which one it is, lolz so which is it? lolz

[Dutch Masta]

go to the doctor, and be upfront with your marijuana smoking - if you're going to be prescribed meds to change your brain chemestry, your doc needs to know everything you're on, including herbs and supplements.

doctors dont know anything about the effects of marijuana. nobody does because there is restriction on the amount of research that can be done on "illegal" drugs that have "no" medical value.

[RyanTheCaveman]

Well after gettin caught ona diff. drug twice in school and ODing and going to a mental hospital for suicidal depression...im now being drug tested and watched all the time. Life just got worse...and gettin even more worse...
so i cant smoke weed or do any other drug. and my depression is gettin worse everyday. Right now im gonna be honest(i dont like telling other people how i really feel). I'm suicidal and depressed, drugs helped alot. made me feel better. but since i cant do drugs and life is gettin more shittier and worse, i just want to die. I know someone will say "its not worth it! dont do it. Live!" but you just done understand. i dont liek whining. but i DO need help. but i dont want to ask anyone....i would feel worthless and ashamed. Everyday i think about suicide and how i should just move on. one friend knows about me being seriously suicidal. I'm on anti depressents...its called Zoloft...but its not working. nothing is. Honestly- it's pointless to live right now. I use to be a very happy dude. But i've changed so much in the past 3-4 months, and so much has happend.


I miss mary jane :(.

[zeebo phillips]

I have depression/anxiety. Weed helps, but sometimes it just isn't enough for me either. I would get panic attacks during the day and they would have to send me home so eventually my mom gave me Clonopin; very powerful stuff. Eventually it got to the point where I was abusing the pills and ended up fucked up all the time. I was really slow and I often didn't remember certain events/places/people. Thats also really not good when you're a teenager...but you don't have to worry about that...

Now I learned how scary meds can be and I don't take it unless I absolutely need it. Just [sorry to bring "coping skills" up for my fellow former mental patients:silly:] use self-talk and you'll make it through the situation. Sounds like I'm preaching something thats easier said than done, but the medication route can be dangerous when it comes to panic/anxiety/depression.

My friend always tells me to find a goal for each day, even if its small. Then gradually add more goals to each day, or set new ones during the day. It'll make you feel a lot more like you're actually getting up and actually accomplishing something in the midst of your funk.

Hope that helped...

[LuckyG]

Well after gettin caught ona diff. drug twice in school and ODing and going to a mental hospital for suicidal depression...im now being drug tested and watched all the time. Life just got worse...and gettin even more worse...
so i cant smoke weed or do any other drug. and my depression is gettin worse everyday. Right now im gonna be honest(i dont like telling other people how i really feel). I'm suicidal and depressed, drugs helped alot. made me feel better. but since i cant do drugs and life is gettin more shittier and worse, i just want to die. I know someone will say "its not worth it! dont do it. Live!" but you just done understand. i dont liek whining. but i DO need help. but i dont want to ask anyone....i would feel worthless and ashamed. Everyday i think about suicide and how i should just move on. one friend knows about me being seriously suicidal. I'm on anti depressents...its called Zoloft...but its not working. nothing is. Honestly- it's pointless to live right now. I use to be a very happy dude. But i've changed so much in the past 3-4 months, and so much has happend.


I miss mary jane :(.

Your major problem is right there in your post. You don't like telling people about how you feel. I've dealt with depression since I was fourteen (so almost seven years now) and one of the things that helps a lot is to talk to someone about what's going on - and I don't mean on forums or chatrooms, you need to actually talk. Find a friend who'll just listen to you, or if you don't feel like talking to a friend then talk to yourself - you'll feel silly at first, but it helps. Be honest, and talk about everything that is bothering you. Right now you have all these thoughts bouncing around in your head, and you need to talk to let them out and give you some headspace. Once people understand how you feel, I'm sure a few will want to help you out.

I think someone recommended Vitamin B earlier - I will back that up 100%, I had a nasty bout two months ago and a co-worker of mine recommended some B-75. It cleared that up in a matter of days, so long as I kept taking it regularly. My constitution is weaker than most people's though so it may take longer to kick in for you, especially if your symptoms are as bad as you say they are. You might also want to take a higher dosage, B-100 or something.

Don't focus on your lack of drugs as a part of your problem. Right now drugs won't help - if you get high while you're in a bad mood, you'll just have a shitty trip, and it'll make you feel even more helpless. Find something else that interests you, like a hobby, or help a friend out with one of their hobbies. Take up reading, or drawing, or whatever - something to reward you and occupy the mind.

Talking to your ex helped a bit, you said - now apply that to everything else. If there is anything - a picture, or a keepsake, or whatever - that makes you feel guilty, or has a bad memory attached to it, get rid of it. If you have a problem, work it out. Break down your bad habits and destructive patterns. This will not only "take out the trash" so to speak but also give you self-confidence as you begin to see that you can control your life.

I know you might not be able to see it right now (and I forget it sometimes too), but life is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Don't worry about the big picture, just take life as it is, day by day, and enjoy the little things. Get out, help people, talk to people, try new things - it's a wonderful world, and you deserve to be a part of it.

Also get some hugs. Hugs are awesome. :)

[Nailhead]

There are some really great posts in this thread, and Ryan I think I can relate to your situation. I've had depression for a long time, but only recently has it seemed to be getting worse. It doesn't help when none of your friends call you on the weekend anymore, and your life is so pathetic that you actually look forward to work because it's the only thing that gets you out of the house, but I do think the best advice I've heard is to talk to someone. I know it isn't easy, I'm still very guarded with what I tell people, but even if you just talk about a few things about yourself to someone you trust, eventually you can start talking about things that are closer to you. I wouldn't expect you to just open up to someone and talk about everything, because I can't see myself doing that either, so start small, and like somebody said, take things day by day and try to appreciate the small things in life.

One of the most therapeutic things that helps me is a nice drive with no music on and the windows down through the mountains. I'm fortunate enough to live close enough to mountains to be able to do that, but this is what works for me and it might not work for you. The point is, try to find something you can do that is simple but relaxing, something that helps you appreciate little things in life that most people take for granted.

Talking to people still probably is the best help, but I'm still pretty guarded with my emotions myself so I can only tell you what works for me and it is things like I mentioned, or watching the sun set in the evening, or just looking at the mountains. That won't cure depression, but it will definitely make you feel a lot better and help you clear your mind. Exercise is also a great anti-depressant.

[Trip06]

I know how you feel about drugs easing the pain. I had depression sence I was around 12. Im 21 now. A lota do to the fact I had a rocky adolescence in grade school, kinda messed me up socialy. I know theres no actual pin point problume with me other than I just felt shitty about myself. I went through some really rough times and 'self medicating' really helped me unwind. But I was just getn fucked up to much and outta control so I had to quit. It really made things worse around friends and family. Idk im not half as bad anymore but can still use some unwinding day to day.

[darkestXredX]

yeh i have it to. i hate that i do too but its like i cant help it. im nto emo or anything or do anything for attention. but i am really deeply depressed. im thinking suicidal thoughts and i really want to die. but i know it would kill my dad. sometimes i think i wont make it in life and stuff. i wont tell anyone im depressed because they would think differently of me. i have changed alot recently...and i think thats why my gf broke up with me. even though i still have feelings for her.
i just wish i could fall asleep and not wake up.

take care man,
ryan

i feel like that too
im like its just to hard...idk how im gonna make it anywere
i used to be depresed...but it kinda just dissapeared
im happy about that but the future scares me and i dont know if its normal

[LuckyG]

I've had depression for a long time, but only recently has it seemed to be getting worse. It doesn't help when none of your friends call you on the weekend anymore, and your life is so pathetic that you actually look forward to work because it's the only thing that gets you out of the house...

That sounds familiar. I had a week where I'd get up, go to work, come home, shower and eat, and go straight to bed because it was easier than occupying myself.

Shitty times. We've gotten better since then. :)

[RyanTheCaveman]

Well the friends that i thought were good friends (ever since i got suspended and had a bad drug problem with one they didn't agree on) they all pretty much abandoned me. At the time i needed help the msot i was just brushed off...
also i got some weed from my bro and i am going to smoke today and hopefully i will feel better while high...just cant get caught by my dad.

and the reason i dont talk about it - is because im ashamed.
I already kinda planned out my "death"....i dont know- but everythings changed. everythings gone to shit. I guess i lost the will to live.

i really...reallllly hate talking about it.

[Trip06]

Find ways to make yourself happy. For instance nobody feels good when they look like shit or dont have shit and cant do anything about it. Make money buy something new, allways makes me happy.