A dating question

[someuser]

goodness my boyfriend still pays for most things when we go out (unless its for his birthday or something). I get him stuff when we go to the store though. It doesnt equal out but he makes a lot more than me (I make 6.65 for 10 hours a week and he works full time at a really good job) so I dont feel bad. Girls have the ability to make up for that in other ways.

I dont date girls who arent financially able to pull their weight anymore *but* I did date girls in financial situations like napolitana869 in my younger yrs. So long as she atleast made an effort that counted for a lot... Just so long as the effort just didnt consist of 'sex payments'. Sex is a given and is just as much for her benefit as mine but if she did small thoughtful things (like write me little love notes, be really sweet and cheer me up if I had a shitty day, maybe write me a poem or draw me something) and made an effort to do what she could for me money wise (like the occasional b-day dinner, maybe surprise me with some cold beer in the frig, shit like that) I would call the 'deal' fair.

Anyhow, I forget how young a lot of you guys/girls are here... I'm sure the standards are a little different in yall's teens. However at my age (28yrs) I expect my date to have a REAL goddamn job and make atleast 25k a year or that is just a deal breaker. Daddy dont like free-loaders :jointsmile:

someuser Reviewed by someuser on 03-17-2007. A dating question At what point in the relationship is it okay for the guy to not pay for everything? what you think? Rating: 5

[gabee42ee]

never

[dutch.lover]

If a guy asks me out on a date, I would definitely expect him to pay...however depending on the situation I would offer to chip. Like if he bought movie tix I would offer to buy the snacks. In general I like things to be 50/50, because I don't like to feel indebted and I also like to be generous as opposed to being a mooch. This doesn't go for every girl tho...in high school, this guy paid for everything when him and his gf went out. Also, every month she expected a dozen roses for their anniversary. EVERY MONTH. They dated for a long time....over 2 years I think, so this wasn't a new-relationship-excitement kinda thing. That's just freakish in my opinion. If my bf wanted to buy me a dozen roses every month, so be it. But I couldnt imagine DEMANDING that kinda thing. Maybe im too nice. haha jk.

[stinkyattic]

A girl should make an effort to chip in.
Any chick that goes out on a date without the cash in hand to cover her own meal has 'golddigger potential' and 'I can't wait to get divorced so I can take your house' written all over her.
I agree with the dutchlover version of going to the movies! You buy tix, I buy snacks (which seems to actually cost MORE these days, wtf!). Or dinner, you get dinner, I'll take us out for cocktails after.
I don't think that feeling indebted is healthy, ESPECIALLY early in a relationship where it might contribute to feeling pressured to do da durrty too early in the dating thing.
I'm really used to pulling my weight, and even paying for boyfriends' shit too (yeah... gotta love being stuck with the tab for a weekend ski vacation, and a boyfriend who complained the whole time!).
I'm trying to get used to how things are normally- my man is definitely old-school when it comes to going out to dinner- and I've told him a couple times that as much as I LOVE being treated like a princess, I still feel kind of weird about it, because I'm NOT a princess, I'm a 29 year old professional with a mortgage and a dented Volkswagen. I'm fiercely independent when it comes to handling my own business and I expect my man to recognize that I CAN afford to pay for dinner, because I bust my ass to earn that ability!

[drgreenthumb1238]

Stinky I have to agree, having gone with girls who were students I'm used to paying all the time. Though its nice to feel you're "treating" your s.o I kinda think it loses its glow after 18months of doing it. I have more respect for a girl if she wants to pay or gets the drinks afterwards or the taxi. It makes me beleive she's interested in me for me and doesn't see me as a big pound sign!

[stinkyattic]

I have more respect for a girl if she wants to pay or gets the drinks afterwards or the taxi. It makes me beleive she's interested in me for me and doesn't see me as a big pound sign!

Bingo.
If I don't even make an effort to chip in on a date, you can be fairly sure I'm not going to call you back, because I just don't give a crap, and I'm not diggin' the conversation or something.

[drgreenthumb1238]

I guess it's something you do when you're young or to try and impressed, and although I'm not old I want to date an independant woman, who doesn't "need" me but rather she "wants" me. Then again I've been single for quite a while now, so what do I know!?!

[Cyclonite]

Iv been paying for most stuff for years...I make 2x her income though and have 1/2 the bills (she pays all her crap)

[stinkyattic]

Then again I've been single for quite a while now, so what do I know!?!

it's the necktie. :jointsmile:

[drgreenthumb1238]

Bah!I haven't even worn that tie out lol!You jsu wait til I post pics with the other ones on...you'll eat my hat!!