If you can do that and still do justice to your girls, giving them the time, energy, support and attention they need and deserve, then I wish you the best of luck. I know that's a hard, awful situation. I suspect it's a decision you're going to struggle with even after you make it. As much as you hate that feeling of obligation, to me it indicates that you also recognize on a very fundamental level that having two in-residence parents is still the better situation for the children even if it's not the better one for you.

That being said, you also know that life is far too short and too precious to spend it miserable. And you know it doesn't do kids any good to have a flat, passionless marriage modeled for them, sustained only because it's what's best for them. You don't want them to grow up thinking that's how a couple should relate. I feel like I know you well enough to have a fairly good feel for your character, and I know you'll still be an attentive, loving parent. Just be prepared for the girls to have some ups and downs as the change plays out, and also be prepared for a change in your financial circumstances. Down the road, I think you have to be prepared for the fact that you or your current wife may remarry, which'll add new complexities to the family dynamics.

You've had a lot of change going on in your life recently. You watched that elderly friend die. Then the more recent loss of your mom. This impending move for your dad. The figurative-emotional loss of your marriage even if you haven't yet officially made that change yet. I think you're wise to take the time between now and when you get your dad settled back out in California to deliberate on this next big change so you can make sure you're not making a reactionary decision during a time of turmoil but rather a good, sound, decision for the future.

I love you, Geonagual. Wish you only the best, happiest life that's possible to have. Wish I could make your wife see that she's about to let one of the best guys and the best dads around slip right through her fingers. I think the trip to help your dad will be a good get-away/thinking opportunity. Hope the stuff I said made sense.
birdgirl73 Reviewed by birdgirl73 on . I need advice..seriously OK. Where do I start? I have been married now almost 14 years...We have split up twice during that time. One time it was for almost 2 years. I have this huge obligation inside of me (which I hate) to be here for my daughters. I do not love my wife at all in a passionate sense. I love her for who she is (mother of my children) but really nothing else. I have tried to love her. I have went to counseling, Landmark Forum, extensive talks. Nothing helps. I am giving up. Our sex life is non existent Rating: 5