Post Your Favorite Joke.

[DogsBollocks]

Now This Is Magic

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[DogsBollocks]

SPERM BANK ROBBERY

A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the f*****g safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter. "But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money". "Don't argue just open the safe or I'll blow your f*****g head off!" She obliges and opens the safe door.

"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"

"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.

"Don't argue, just drink it" he says. She prises off the cap and gulps it down.

"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands. The girl drinks another one. Suddenly the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband.......

"Not that f*****g difficult is it?" he says

[Nightcrewman]

Originallly posted by Crudemood

"Once there was this boy blowing bubbles in the bathtub
Bubbles was the name of his brother."

Ha! I thought Bubbles was his chimp

Cheers
NCM a Michael Jackson fan (not)

[A Scanner Darkly]

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.

[DogsBollocks]

A Helicopter Was Flying Around Above Seattle Yesterday When An Electrical Malfunction Disabled All Of The Aircraft's Electronic Navigation And Communications Equipment. Due To The Clouds And Haze, The Pilot Could Not Determine The Helicopter's Position And Course To Steer To The Airport.

The Pilot Saw A Tall Building, Flew Toward It, Circled, Drew A Hand-Written Sign, And Held It In The Helicopter's Window. The Pilot's Sign Read "WHERE AM I?" In Large Letters.

People In The Tall Building Quickly Responded To The Aircraft, Drew A Large Sign, And Held It In A Building Window. Their Sign Read "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The Pilot Smiled, Waved, Looked At His Map, Determined The Course To Steer To SEATAC Airport, And Landed Safely.

After They Were On The Ground, The Co-Pilot Asked The Pilot How The "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" Sign Helped Determine Their Position.

The Pilot Responded "I Knew That Had To Be The MICROSOFT Building Because, Similar To Their Help-Lines, They Gave Me A Technically Correct But Completely Useless Answer."

[DogsBollocks]

One Day A Man Walks Into A Dentist's Office And Asks How Much It Will Cost To Extract Wisdom Teeth.

"Eighty Pound," The Dentist Says.

"That's A Ridiculous Amount," The Man Says. "Isn't There A Cheaper Way?"

"Well," The Dentist Says, "If You Don't Use An Anaesthetic, I Can Knock It Down To £60."

"That's Still Too Expensive," The Man Says.

"Okay," Says The Dentist. "If I Save On Anesthesia And Simply Rip The Teeth Out With A Pair Of Pliers, I Could Get Away With Charging £20."

"Nope," Moans The Man, "It's Still Too Much."

"Hmm," Says The Dentist, Scratching His Head. "If I Let One Of My Students Do It For The Experience, I Suppose I Could Charge You Just £10."

"Marvelous," Says The Man, "Book My Wife For Next Tuesday!"

[Snake2389]

nice jokes

here is a joke that cracked me up..

2 fish in a tank

one tells another
-"How the fuck do you drive this thing?"

[IntoTheEther]

Here's one, courtesy of my friend:

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

...

The wheelchair.

[Kenn]

What do u get if u cross an elephant with a kangaroo...? big Fkn holes all over Australia.

[Sinsemilla]

haha i like that

heres my jokes:

how many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?

answer: 3 - 1 to change it 2 to write a song about it

Two homosexual guys are driving down the street when they see a dog on the side of the road licking his prick. "I sure wish I could do that," said the one gay. To which the other replied,

"Don't you think you ought to pet him first??"

that EMO one was on KROQ, thats if u live in southern california.