Post Your Favorite Joke.

[stinkyattic]

one day, kingjustin spots a sheep......

oooh I have a sheep shagging one...

Bunch of cowboys- well shepherds, whatever- are out with their sheeps.
One of them, it's his first time, he's a total greenhorn.
After a week or so he's all, "man it's lonely out here, whaddya do for female companionship?"
And the old farts are like, "Meh, take a sheep, do yer business."
He thinks they're messing with him so he shuts up...
Then a couple days later he asks again, "f'real, what do you REALLY do?"
And they tell him the same thing so he's skeptical but he takes a sheep over to the bushes and does his thing...
He comes out and they are all standing around laughing at him, and he's like "you fuckers, you told me you guys do this!!!"
And they're like, "well YEAH, but you picked the UGLY ONE!!!"

[robert42]

I guess this is a joke..it sure made me laugh.

4 out of 3 people are bad at fractions.

haha i like that

heres my jokes:

how many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?

answer: 3 - 1 to change it 2 to write a song about it

Two homosexual guys are driving down the street when they see a dog on the side of the road licking his prick. "I sure wish I could do that," said the one gay. To which the other replied,

"Don't you think you ought to pet him first??"

[robert42]

[align=center]CITY OF EAST LOS ANGELES
HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM

Name: _____________________________ Gang: ___________________________


Jamaal has an AK-47 with a 40-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320, and 2 grams to Billy for $85 a gram. What is the street value of the remaining cocaine that he doesn't cut?
Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 a day crack habit?
Jerome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need to reach his goal?
Willis gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 2 BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Chevys will he have to steal to make $800?
Raoul is serving 6 years in prison for murder. He received $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 a month, how much money will be left when he gets out of jail, and how many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent all his money?
If the average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet, and the average letter is 0.8 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
Hector knocked up 6 girls in his friendly neighborhood gang. If there are 27 girls in the gang, what percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up? What percentage of girls in the gang *hasn't* Hector knocked up?
BONUS QUESTION: Based on the information provided above, how many more girls can Hector knock up in his gang if he has sex 8 times a day with 3 different girls a week for 6 months using the highly reliable "rhythm method" of birth control? [/align]

[TheFatKid]

Women's Rights



>_>

[stinkyattic]

Women's Rights

*slap*

How many meteorologists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to take out the old bulb, and 2 more to argue about which direction to turin it to screw it in on this side of the equator
har har

[iPot]

What is yellow and goes round the earth?
A tennis ball in orbit.

[orangeman]

Here's mine- sick, but funny.

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?

Give up?

An erection.
It may be a little off but I laughed my ass off when I heard it the first time. It's also accompanied by:
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
You don't have an erection when you eat a sandwich.

Wait, I really don't get this joke lol :stoned:!

[iPot]

I don't get these dead baby in a sandwich jokes they sound kind of twisted to me.

My favourite joke actually not the one I made up about the tennis ball, this lobster goes into a bar and orders a beer. Sorry but your barred from here get out. But I've been drinking here for years this is my local! (in a broad Cockney London accent, the barman replies) Yeah sorry pal but you just come in here all the all the time giving all that.... *holds both hands up to convey chatterbox talk too much but also looks like a lobster impersonation*

[kingjustin]

That's the whole point of dead baby jokes though...they don't have a real punchline, they're just sick.

And thanks for the lovely joke, Bizzle.

[kingjustin]

A different genre this time...
A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?”
He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?”
She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”