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03-08-2007, 03:20 PM #11
Senior Member
Having a hard time with my mom
MagicalHerb,
Try writing to her. If things tend to get heated and screaming matches tend to start when you discuss things--or attempt to--try putting your feelings down on paper or monitor instead. It's never ideal to try and discuss things when either party is hot and emotional because the issues really never get dealt with--only the emotion, which tends to escalate if it's already at high levels.
Anyone ever teach you or your mom about "I" language? It's a way of expressing your own feelings and thoughts that helps not put someone else on the defensive. "Mom, I feel angry when you . . ." . That gets you out of the "You are pissing me off, Mom" loop, believe it or not, and helps you take responsibility for the only part of the debate and the resulting responses you can control, which is your end of it. Here's a link. Arguing constructively is not easy to do, especially when you both need work on your communications skills, but it's worth practicing.
Using I Language - Marriage - Families.com
Good luck! If all else fails, take a break from her, come back later when you're both cooler, and, somewhere deep down, try to always remember that there's also good with the bad. StinkyAttic's exactly right that, even though y'all argue, it appears your mom has hung in there with you, which is more than a lot of kids can say. If y'all feel anything like my son and I do about one another, I suspect that deep down you love each other a great deal. The arguments wouldn't be so passionate if you didn't![SIZE=\"4\"]\"That best portion of a good man\'s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.\"[/SIZE]
[align=center]William Wordsworth, English poet (1770 - 1850)[/align]
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