I think God exists, but I don't believe HE/She/It is an old man with a beard sitting on a cloud judging us all by how many Hail Marys we said. The thing I say to all the people who've tried to convince me their way is the only way is that I can question my beliefs, but they refuse to examine theirs. Therefore I have an advantage. Look, our central issues are about creation and afterlife. We just don't really have any answers. To accept doctrine is to close your mind. I must qualify this by saying I went to a Catholic school, and those nuns provided me with a lifetime and a half of stand-up comedy material. This is the reason I hate penguins, through no fault of their (the penguins) own.

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