I think its time for a break

[peaceandlove420]

I have had some really hard depression lately. The thing is its been a re occuring thing since about november. I have had lot of shit piling on top of each other pretty evenly throughout the past few months, actually yesterday I found out my Aunt succumbed to cancer. I am seeing the bad in everything, in myself. All areas of my life have been attacked by some sort of event.

I already threw my story about me and the chick that told me to my face she wanted to *eph* my best friend. Academics I am fearful and slipping. My social life I am starting to think I am one of those "put up with" people that poeple hang out with. The kind of person that everyones chill with but behind there backs everyone unanimously pretty much agrees that the person is a hassle to be around. I know of a guy like that and it would devastate me.

I realized my friends are my family. And I have had problems there.


Basically everything is wrong. No matter how hard I try, I cannot see the good. I feel absolutely horrible. I deleted my myspace on the bright side.
I have been socially withdrawn from people at school. I went from one of the most outgoing people in the student body to a lifeless soal who just sits there or gets angry.

I've lost who I am. I lost my religion, that was devastating. re occruing fuck ups with girls, my closest friends are starting to get shakey, academics are shit, my family is fucked I am not going there.

I don't take joy in the things I used to either. Surfing, hiking, I am apethetic nothingness now. I am taking a break from herb and I know I get more depressed each time I stop and that the stopping is a contributing factor, but theres so much more.

I feel good about breaking, but to be honest


I am scared guys. I really am. My own thoughts horrify me.

I see through life. I know that each day is a new day and so many people take life for granted.

I am just too tired of fighting too many battles. Life in its very essence is dull to me. I see through it. Especially after losing my religion (well turing my back on it) I relized theres no point to mans existance.

Another mindfuck was the friend thing. All I have are my friends. And I am starting to see that maybe I am not percieved how I think I am.

Anyways I am gonna hold out for at least a week to see how much better I feel after breaking from the herb, but no promises after that. I can't deal anymore.


Love and respect to the cannabis.com community


peace~

peaceandlove420 Reviewed by peaceandlove420 on 03-06-2007. I think its time for a break I have had some really hard depression lately. The thing is its been a re occuring thing since about november. I have had lot of shit piling on top of each other pretty evenly throughout the past few months, actually yesterday I found out my Aunt succumbed to cancer. I am seeing the bad in everything, in myself. All areas of my life have been attacked by some sort of event. I already threw my story about me and the chick that told me to my face she wanted to *eph* my best friend. Academics I Rating: 5

[ericwt]

Wish you luck. I hope you find whatever it is you need.

[Shrapnel]

I can relate to almost every single thing you said because I've been through all that kind of shit. Just look on the good side of everything, I know it's hard, but forget about all the bullshit and quit putting thoughts in your head. The only reason you are nothing is because you've convinced yourself that. Once you start that break, trust me, shit is going to get fucking stressful, just hang on though. I know the position you're in right now, and it's fucking hard, but just hang on there shit will get A LOT better trust me.

[couch-potato]

Nothing wrong with losing religion bro

From my perspective, well actually the quote in my signature is a great example but anyways, religion gives hope and guidance. That is all. I believe Atheism is a characteristic of a healthy, independent mind. You CAN return to a happy life. You WILL return to a happy life. It is nothing but a matter of time.

Stop smoking. Mary Jane is meant to be used happily, not as a crutch. Stop thinking and get active. I've been there, when you're in this state your thoughts will do nothing but plague you. Go outside, search for anything that will lighten the mood. If it makes you feel better, do it. Find a new hobby, meet new people. You have to take the first step. Initiative is in your hands, it's time to step up and tell all of this negative emotion to fuck off and eat a dick.

Think of the Little Engine That Could, it's not just a stupid kid's story. The reason it is so popular is because it holds truth, and because of that the story is told to children as a life lesson. You think you can? You KNOW you can.

When it's all over, you can finally return to smoking bud if you choose to, and after that first hit you can take a deep breath and say to yourself "Damn, those past days kind of sucked! Hahaha!"