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03-05-2007, 02:56 AM #1OPSenior Member
My little story Ive just written
Had a burst of creativity, so I just wrote a really short story. Its about nobody in particular, just words and ideas that came into my head. If I write any more, Ill post it here (probably wont be until Tuesday, Im now out of weed
)
She stood naked in the doorway, beautiful as polished glass. Her hair still shimmering from the wetness of the shower she had just taken, I kissed her passionately on the lips. I hadn’t kissed this girl for over two years, and now I was back in her arms again. As we parted, I noticed something.
She kissed in a different style than she did two years ago.
I felt a nudge in the small of my back, a gentle reminder of what I was here to do. For a few seconds, I didn’t have it. It only took me a split second to come to my senses. I stared longing into her eyes; love had infatuated both of us.
“I’m sorry”.
I pulled the Smith and Wesson revolver out from my jeans, stepped back a few paces, and bought the weapon up to aim. I flicked the safety off, pulled the hammer back and rested my finger on the trigger. Gently does it, I don’t want to rush things now. A few more seconds passed, her standing there with a look of horror on her face, me looking down the sights of the revolver. She started to open her mouth. What would come out, I would never know.
A single shot rang out in her house. The smoke cleared, and she had gone. I felt a smatter of blood hit my face. Warm, almost cosy. I wanted to look down; I always looked at the body before leaving. It was a thing I did. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her naked, bleeding, twitching, dead body. I put the safety on the revolver, placed it back in my jeans, turned around and walked out, a silent tear running down my bloodied face.Tom Swierzbinski Reviewed by Tom Swierzbinski on . My little story Ive just written Had a burst of creativity, so I just wrote a really short story. Its about nobody in particular, just words and ideas that came into my head. If I write any more, Ill post it here (probably wont be until Tuesday, Im now out of weed :( ) She stood naked in the doorway, beautiful as polished glass. Her hair still shimmering from the wetness of the shower she had just taken, I kissed her passionately on the lips. I hadn’t kissed this girl for over two years, and now I was back in her arms Rating: 5
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03-05-2007, 03:08 AM #2Senior Member
My little story Ive just written
holey! that was so good man , really you wrote that ,serious, what!
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03-05-2007, 03:23 AM #3Senior Member
My little story Ive just written
its alright. at the end it got very gruesome, which threw what it seemed you were trying to accomplish
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03-05-2007, 03:25 AM #4Senior Member
My little story Ive just written
I freaking love it. awesome
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03-05-2007, 05:47 AM #5OPSenior Member
My little story Ive just written
WeThePeople, yep I did write that. Had a really good one going a few years back when I was REALLY nutty lol, it was fucking awesome. Im sure Ive got it on a disc somewhere, but Ive searched and searched and I still cant find it.
Smoke it, its gonna be kinda poetic but have some gruesome scenes in it (torture for one). That part that Ive just written is gonna be somewhere in the middle of the book. Oh fuck, guess Im writing a book now lol!
Samwhore, ta!
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03-05-2007, 06:23 AM #6Senior Member
My little story Ive just written
shit! i thought it was going to be a porn story lol,i love a thriller with a twist,good piece tom very creative
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03-05-2007, 06:07 PM #7Senior Member
My little story Ive just written
sumbitch wasn't very long....don't put too much effort in it.
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03-12-2007, 05:42 PM #8Senior Member
My little story Ive just written
Nice story mate! Where are you these days?
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03-12-2007, 06:07 PM #9Senior Member
My little story Ive just written
reminds me fo the begining of sin city kind of.
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03-14-2007, 02:47 PM #10OPSenior Member
My little story Ive just written
cheers exhashsmoker, lol I emailed you a few hours ago I think
40oz, I was trying to recreate the feel of Sin City, but kinda got sidetracked. Ah well, I might carry on writing this one, I do short stories when Im REALLY bored or stoned, but Ive got quite a good feel about this one.
Anyway gonna go pick up some nice Leb thats running around town!
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