Quote Originally Posted by GooseBear
Ammie!! I feel like that too. I only just realized that I have complete utter control over my life and can do whatever. I was living in a bubble and now that I am in college everything seems so much bigger. Not so big that I can't handle them but I have so many decisions to make in life and sometimes it's overwhelming.
I think we just have to fight through it and dig to find out who we really are. Even if it means not everybody likes you. I found that out. I always needed people to like me but now I see not everyone is going to.
I also wonder why am I here. What am I doing?? Then bursts of happiness and then back to what is going on. For now I decided just to live. (however that means?)

I think I still have to full realise what that means. I'm living for people alot right now, im just so damn insecure.
I'm also living in a way where i have to prove myself to myself, and i shouldnt be like that.
But i don't know for sure how to change, but i think i may be.
It's a cool thing, i think i've half come to terms with myself, i need a real good girl friend, but problem is i don't go to the bar cause most my freinds have been busy lately with 3rd year schooling and i don't have my car insured or a g2, I don't work and my last job was at a landscape company where i don't really get to meet poeple of the opposite sex, and I'm not in school, so i cant really meet to many girls.
Further more when i spend most my time stoned at a buddy's, or listening to tunes here at my place getting wrecked.
Add on that im pretty complicated and sometimes i think everything out too much before doing anything and end up doing nothing.

Now what? Where do i go from here, what should tommrow be like for me to be happy with myself, or what do i want, or what do i have to do to get where i want to be.

Why am i thinking this way?
Is this a result of clashing genetics, combined wiht situation and culture, am i an off shoot of these conflicts, ADHD maybe contribtes? How many other people feel this way.


The C