Couch-Potato's Ultimate Guide for Scent-Free Smoking Euphoria!


Smoke bud with a sweatshirt on.
Blow smoke through a doob tube (look it up if you don't know)
Put eye drops in BEFORE you smoke, this will soothe your eyes while you are sober, so the point is to never have your eyes actually turn red.

After:
Take off sweatshirt
Eat gum / freshen breath
Washing face is good for super-ninja-ness

DO NOT overdo it. Opening windows, house reeking of deodorant spray, coming up with a fully-fledged thought out excuse the moment they enter the door. Did you smoke? No, fuckface! What the hell are YOU talking about? Are you high? (See? Turn the tables on them!)

This strategy works 69% of the time, every time.