Hey All. I've been in Durham for almost five years. I'm still trying to find that "regular" connection, but as far as like-minded people, there are plenty around. Being in your 30's doesn't help as far as finding the thing that brought us all to this site, but networking helps.
Good luck and feel free to hit me up.
Don't know any coffee shops in RTP per se, but Broad St. Cafe in Durham, as well as the couple of shops on 9th St., are a-ok.